Time and Intimacy : A New Science of Personal Relationships (Lea's Series on Personal Relationships)

765 Pages·2000·3.02 MB·English

by  Joel B. Bennett

Time and Intimacy : A New Science of
title: Personal Relationships LEA's Series On
Personal Relationships
author: Bennett, Joel B.
publisher: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc.
isbn10 | asin:
print isbn13: 9780805836790
ebook isbn13: 9780585365213
language: English
Intimacy (Psychology) , Time, Interpersonal
subject
relations.
publication date: 2000
lcc: BF575.I5B45 2000eb
ddc: 158.2
Intimacy (Psychology) , Time, Interpersonal
subject: relations.
Page i
Time and Intimacy:
A New Science of Personal Relationships
Page ii
LEA's Series on Personal Relationships
Steve Duck, Series Editor
Miller/Alberts/Hecht/Trost/Krizek: Adolescent Relationships and
Drug Use
Honeycutt/Cantrill: Cognition, Communication, and Romantic
Relationships
Christopher: To Dance the Dance: A Symbolic Interaction Exploration
of Premarital Sexuality
Bennett: Time and Intimacy. A New Science of Personal Relationships
Page iii
Time and Intimacy:
A New Science of Personal Relationships
Joel B. Bennett
Texas Christian University
The author and publisher collaborated in preparing
the final camera copy for this work and together
they share responsibility for consistency and
correctness of typographical style. This arrangement
helps to make publication of this kind of scholarship
possible.
Copyright © 2000 by Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc.
All rights reserved. No part of the book may be reproduced in any form, by
photostat, microform, retrieval system, or any other means, without the prior
written permission of the publisher.
Grateful acknowledgment is made to the following for permission to reprint
previously published material: Excerpt from "Revising Prose (3rd Ed.)" by
Richard A. Lanham © 1992. Reprinted by permission from Allyn & Bacon,
Simon & Schuster Education Group Excerpts from "Time, Self and Social
Being" by Patrick Baert © 1992. Reprinted by permission from Ashgate
Publishing Limited Excerpts from "Intimate Relations'' by Murray S. Davis ©
1973. Reprinted by permission from The Free Press and Murray S. Davis
Excerpt from "Stopping the Clock" by Michele Ritterman, which first
appeared in The Family Therapy Networker and is copied here with
permission. Excerpts from "Love Cycles" by Winifred B. Cutler © 1995.
Reprinted by permission from Random House, Inc. Excerpts and Figure 11.3
from "A Theory of Social Interaction" by Jonathan H. Turner. Reprinted with
the permission of the publishers, Stanford University Press © 1988 by the
Board of Trustees of the Leland Stanford Junior University. "Love Line" by
Libby Stephens © 1996. Reprinted by permission from Utne Reader. Note
Policy at Lawrence Erlbaum Associates is to obtain permission for copying
excerpts from a single source that exceeds 200 words. Grateful
acknowledgement is made to the many different publishers that have also
contributed extracts of less than 200 words.
Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc., Publishers
Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc., Publishers
10 Industrial Avenue
Mahwah, New Jersey 07430
Cover design by Kathryn
Houghtaling Lacey
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Bennett, Joel B.
Time and Intimacy : a new science of personal relationships / Joel B. Bennett.
p. cm. (LEA's series on personal relationships)
Includes bibliographical references and indexes.
ISBN 0-8058-3679-9 (alk. paper) ISBN 0-8058-3680-2 (pbk. : alk. paper)
1. Intimacy (Psychology) 2. Time. 3. Interpersonal relations. I. Title II. Series.
BF575.15 B45 2000
158.2dc21 00-
041106
Books published by Lawrence Erlbaum Associates are printed on acid-free
paper, and their bindings are chosen for strength and durability.
Printed in the United States of America
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Page v
Contents
Series Editor's Foreword ix
(Steve Duck)
Preface xiii
1 3
Introduction
Orientation and Definitions: Grasping at Complexity 3
Defining Intimacy 5
Defining Time 9
A Note on Metaphor 13
Outline of Book 15
2 35
Intimacy as a Journey through This Text: Time and
Change from Transcription to Transcendence (Model 1)
Is This "Our" Text? 38
The Changing Nature of Relationships: The Essence of 41
Intimacy
Types of Change and Intimacy 43
The Differences between Reading and Meeting 51
Textual Time and Intimacy 55
Blocks to the Present: Collusion and Romance 58
Conclusion 64
3 75
Unfolding in Time: Intimacy across Situations (Model 2)
The Journey to the Present 77
"In Time I See"In · tim · a · cy 80
"Into me; see?"Individuation/Differentiation 83
"In Time I See"Self-Remembering, Presence, and Faith 84
"In Time Mates See"Co-journeying 86
"Into My Sea"Spiritual Community 87
Harmony and Disharmony 90
4 93
The Forces of Time: The Process of Intimacy (Model 3)
Flow, Presence, and Synchronicity 94
Intimacy and the Four Forces of Time 97
Nurturing Conditions (Context) 100
Research Notes on Nurturing Conditions: The Concept 102
of Yüan
Time Shaping (Action) 104
Research Notes on Time Shaping (Action): Turner's 108
Microsociology of Interaction
Chaos 112
Page vi
Research Notes on Chaos: Dynamic Relational Systems 115
and the Mandala Principle
Structure (Form) 119
Research Notes on Relationship Forms and Structure: 121
Discerning Patterns
Conclusion 124
5 129
Time, Addiction, and Intimacy: Scripts, Archescripts, &
Holoscripts (Model 4)
Blocks to Interpersonal Intimacy: Relationship 130
Addiction and Insecure Attachment
Addictive Scripts, Time, and Inner Work 132
Relationships in Time: Defining Scripts, Archescripts, 133
Holoscripts
Recurring Problems 135
A Review: From Scripts to Holoscript 136
Summary 151
6 155
Temporal Context in Love and Science: The Weave of
Temporal Sensitivity (Model 5)
Time and Temporality 157
From Context to Temporal Context 158
Lovers and Scientists: Knowledge for Them Both 162
The Appreciation of Process and Sequence 164