Years of Minutes: The Best of Rooney from 60 Minutes

540 Pages·2003·21.76 MB·English

by  Andy Rooney

Years of Minutes
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ALSO BY ANDY ROONEY
Common Nonsense
Sincerely, Andy Rooney
My War
Sweet and Sour
Not That You Asked
Word for Word
Pieces of My Mind
And More by Andy Rooney
A Few Minutes with Andy Rooney
The Fortunes of War
Conqueror's Peace
(WITH BUD HUTTON)
Air Gunner
(WITH BUD HUTTON)
The Story of The Stars and Stripes
(WITH BUD HUTTON)
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ANDY ROONEY
YEARS OF
MINUTES
PUBLICAFFAIRS
NEW YORK
Copyright © 2003 by Essay Productions.
Published in the United States by PublicAffairs™,
a member of the Perseus Books Group.
All photographs © 1982-2003 CBS Worldwide, Inc.
All rights reserved.
Originally broadcast on 60 Minutes.
Printed in the United States of America.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written per-
mission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For
information, address PublicAffairs, 250 West 57th Street, Suite 1321, New York NY 10107.
PublicAffairs books are available at special discounts for bulk purchases in the U.S. by cor-
porations, institutions, and other organizations. For more information, please contact the
Special Markets Department at the Perseus Books Group, 11 Cambridge Center,
Cambridge MA 02142, or call [phone].
BOOK DESIGN AND COMPOSITION BY JENNY DOSSIN
TEXT SET IN ADOBE MINION
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication data
Rooney, Andrew A.
Years of minutes / Andy Rooney.— 1st ed.
p. cm.
Essays adapted from the author's commentaries
on the television news program, 60 minutes.
ISBN 1-58648-211-4
1.60 minutes (television program) II. Title.
PN4874.R565A25 2003
791.45'72—dc22
2003062341
FIRST EDITION
13579 10 8642
Contents
Foreword • xiii
1982 • 1
True/False Test • Cookbooks • Space Shuttle • Credits • Weather •
Twofers • Tanks • Maps • Gloves • Fast/Slow • Dumb Letters • Car
Names
1983 • 17
Youre Fired! • Travel Folders • Teethbrushes • Report Card • Reagan's
Budget • Age Limits • Catalogues • Dairy Subsidies
1984. * 29
Dog Show • Famous People • Hiding Places • Good Statistics • Be
Kind to Politicians • The Debate • Politics • Recipes • Telephone Books
1985 • 41
Jaywalking • SuperbowlXIX • Shopping Carts • Valentine's Day •
Army, Inc. • Thank Yous • Funerals • Driveways • Ice Cream Cones •
Geneva Peace Plan • Geography • Moving the Office • Professional
Products • E. B. White • Helmets • Traffic • Magazine Covers • Worn
Out • Football Uniform
1986 • 65
Sports Fans • Spies • Presidents • Pill-Bottle Cotton • No Fault •
Magazine Page Numbers • Iran/Iraq • Drug and Truth Tests • Date-
books • How-To Books • The Moon • Muscles • Pennies • Walking
CONTENTS vii
1987 • 8
3
Drinks • Baseball versus Football • New Products • Supreme Court •
Season Slip • Medicine Cabinets • Treaty • Photography • Super Bowl
XXI • Talkers • U.S. Embassy • Appliances • How to Carry Money •
Arms Control
1988 • 103
Too Much • Warning Labels • Money for Sale • Paint • Free • History
Unknown • The IRS • Escalators • Cigarette Smoking • Astrology •
Good Things • Pockets
1989 121
Please Cover Up • What's in the Package • Do It Yourself • The Fine
Print • Food for Thought • Where's the Elevator? • How to Play
Baseball • The Right Tool • Get Healthy • The Price of Gas • On Your
Vacation • Without • Lock It Up • Cant Eat It
1990 • 145
Good and Bad Shapes • Pocket Full of Papers • Problem Sleeping •
The Return • The Pitchman • High Prices • Census Bureau Forms •
Lithuania • Joggers • Crime Stories • Iraq • Iraq Experts • Time Goes
By • Arab Dress • Getting Started • Ballgame Food • Beauty Parlor
Names • The Cost of Ingredients • Uniforms • The Sound of Silence •
Over Population
1991 • 175
Ready for War • War • The End of the War • Gulf War Ads • Senator
Alan Simpson • U.S. Postal Service • Church Architecture • Minorities
• TV Rules • Baseball Analyst • Harry Reasoner • Clarence Thomas •
Soviet Disunion • The Homeless • Sexual Harassment • Sexual
Harassment Response • Labels • Bills • Letter to the President
viii CONTENTS
1992 * 2°3
Progress • Education • Drug Companies • Presidential Families •
Movie Critics • Political Platform • Neighbors • Rodney King •
Campaign 1992 • The Rodney King Tape • Medical Bills • Baseball and
the Debates • Election Quiz • The Plum Book • The Election • Somalia
• The Royal Family
1993 • 225
Matisse • The Clinton Inauguration • Clinton's Plan • Hillary Rodham
Clinton • Base Closings • School Books • Snow • New Stories •
Cigarettes • Waco, Texas • Mike Wallace's Birthday • The Rich •
Health Care Plan • Octane • Camp David • Cigarette Taxes • Warren
Buffett • Ghostwriters • Letters • College Football • Shoe Size
1994 ' 255
Classified Ads • Television Magazine Shows • Ex-Presidents • Roman
Numerical • Byron De La Beckwith • The Spy Game • Charles Kuralt •
KurtCobain • Kurt Cobain Reaction • The Worst Inventions • Tobacco
Company Executives • Medal of Honor • Sports Seasons • Women's
Magazines • Lawyers • Dictionaries • Lotteries • Early Christmas •
Old Magazine Ads • Two of Everything
1995 • 293
Democrats vs. Republicans • Cold Remedies • Birthdays • The Jury
System • Old Farmer's Almanac • Apocalypse • Balanced Budget
Amendment • The English Language • Safety • Reward • Doctors •
Irish • Smoke Gets in the Eye • Handicapped Parking • Lemon
1996 • 315
Official Holidays • Your Father's Name • The Flat Tax • Tell the Truth •
President Clinton Takes a Trip • The Auction • The Montana Freemen •
CONTENTS ix