Table Of Content

Why Men Lie and Women Cry 2. Seven Things Men Do That Drive Women Insane 39 1. Why Do Men Continually Offer Solutions and Give Advice? Why Women Become Upset by Men’s Solutions Case Study: Sarah and Andy How Could Andy Have had it Better? When You Want to do Business with the Opposite Sex How to Avoid an Argument with the Opposite Sex Solution 2. Why do Men Keep Flicking Through the Channels with the Remote Control? Solution 3. Why Won’t Men Stop and Ask for Directions? Solution 4. Why Do Men Insist on Leaving the Toilet Seat Up? Solution 5. Why Do Men Make Such a Fuss About Going Shopping? How to Shop for Food Clothes Shopping Solution 6. Why do Men Have Such Disgusting Personal Habits Flatulence Facts Offending Foods Solution 7. Why Do Men Love Gross Jokes? How Jokes and Humour Ease Pain Don’t Feel Offended Learned Behaviour - Blame His Mother Retraining a Man 3.Why Women Cry -The Dangers of Emotional Blackmail 73 Why We Cry Why Women Cry More Than Men 1. As an Eyewash 2. As a Stress Reducer Contents Crying And Emotional Blackmail How Blackmail Works Case Study: Georgina’s Story Emotional Blackmail Case Study: Rosemary’s Story Men and Emotional Blackmail Case Study: Damian’s Story Common Emotional Blackmail Tactics Case Study: Julia’s Story Case Study: Stephen’s Story Case Study: Irene’s Story How To Handle An Emotional Blackmailer What You Can Say To A Blackmailer When The Blackmailer Is Also In The Dark When Blackmail Becomes A Life Sentence 4. Women’s Top Secret Point-Scoring System 101 Men See Only The Big Picture Our Experiment With Brian And Lorraine How Brian Scored The Month How Lorraine Scored Her Meek Penalty Points Lorraine and Brian’s Reactions Solution For Women Solution For Men Take The Test Now Summary 5. Solving the Seven Biggest Mysteries About Men I 17 1. Why Don’t Men Know Much About Their Friends Lives? Solution 2. Why Do Men Avoid Commitment? Case Study: Geoff and Sally What Most Men Think Solution 3.Why Do Men Feel The Need To Be Right About Everything? Case Study: Jackie and Don Why Men Lie and Women Cry Don’t You Trust Me? Solution 4. Why Are Men So Interested in ‘Boys’ Toys’? Do-It-Yourself Projects 5. Why Can Men Only Seem To Do One Thing at a Time? 6. Why Are Men So Addicted To Sport? Solution 7. What Do Men Really Talk About In The Rest-Room? 6.The Other Woman - His Mother 141 Enter the Dragon His Mother - Her Burden They’re Not All Bad Case Study: Anita and Tom Why Being a Mother-in-Law Can Be Tough Case Study: Mark and Julie Case Study: Bernadette, Richard and Diana Setting Boundaries 7. Women’s Secret Ways With Words 159 1. Why Do Women Want to Talk So Much? Solution for Men Solution for Women 2. Why Do Women Always Want to Talk About Problems? Case Study: Lisa, Joe and the Midnight Argument Solution 3. Why Do Women Exaggerate How A Woman Can Delude Herself Solution 4. Why Do Women Never Seem To Get To The Point? Indirect Talk In Business Indirect Talk At Home Case Study: Barbara and Adam Solution 5. Why Do Women Want To Know All The Little Details? Women Are Programmed To Search For Details Solution vi Contents 8. Women’s Sex Appeal Test 183 Take The Test Your Score 9. What Made Roger Rabbit’s Eyes Pop Out 193 Case Study: Kim and Daniel’s Story The Theory Of Beauty What Science Shows Women’s Bodies - What Turns Men On Most Men’s Turn-ons In Priority Order Turn-on 1: Athletic Body Shape Turn-on 3: Full Breasts Turn-on 4: Long Legs Turn-on 5: Rounded Hips/Small Waist Turn-on 6: Hemispherical Buttocks Turn-on 10: Flat Belly Turn-on 11 & 12: Arched Back and Vulva Turn-on 13: Long Neck How The Face Attracts Attention Turn-on 2: Sensual Mouth Turn-on 7: Attractive Eyes Turn-on 9: Small Nose Turn-on 8: Long Hair The Connection Between Attractiveness And Pornography Hentai Cartoons How A Woman’s Clothing Impacts On Men Cosmetic Surgery The Other Side Of Attraction What Men Look For Solution Summary 10. Men’s Sex Appeal Test 229 Take The Test Your Score Why Men Lie and Women Cry I I. Male Sex Appeal -What Turns Women On 237 What Science Shows Women’s Top Turn-Ons Turn-on 1: Athletic Body Shape Turn-on 2: Broad Shoulders, Chest and Muscular Arms Turn-on 3: Small, Tight Bum Turn-on 4: Full Hair Turn-on 5 &C 6: Sensual Mouth and Kind Eyes Turn-on 7: Strong Nose and Chin Turn-on 8: Narrow Hips and Muscular Legs Turn-on 9: Flat Belly Turn-on 10: Large Penis Turn-on 11: Three-day Beard What Women Want Long Term What Women Look For in a Man Solution 12.“Does this outfit make me look big?” 257 Who Lies? Case Study: Sheelagh and Dennis’s Story Types of Lies Types of Liars Who Lies the Most? Common Lies Men Tell Women. Why Lies Fail Why Women Are So Good at Spotting Lies Why Women Always Remember Advice to Men Young People Are More Likely To Lie, Cheat, Steal When Everyone You Know Lies To You Why the Lies of Friends and Family Hurt Most Clues to Unmasking the Liar Liars and Elephants Going Once, Going Twice How to Read Between the Lines of What’s Said ‘Only’ and ‘Just’ When They Say ‘I’ll Try’ Contents Catching Liars With The Computer What the Vocal Chords Say Photographing the Lying Brain Listening for Vocal Clues Reading Body Language Always Read Clusters Smiling It’s in the Eyes The Pinocchio Effect How Not To Be Lied To: A Dictionary of Male Speech Patterns 13. When a Hunter Hangs Up His Bow - Retirement 291 The ‘Baby Boomer’ Problem Graham’s Story Sex And Retirement When A Hunter Quits Hunting How The Ancient Hunter Became Redundant How Women Deal With Retirement Peter And Jennifer’s Story Why Men Can’t Handle Retirement Why so Many Men Go Downhill So Fast Yvonne’s Story The Downsides Of Retirement A Plan Of Action Social Activity Health Sporting Activity Community Or Charity Work Spiritual Sex Financial Planning Getting Organised Paul and Dana’s Story References 317 Picture Credits 323 Acknowledgements We wish to thank the following people who have contributed directly, indirectly and, sometimes, unknowingly to this book. Our Team who have walked the steps with us on this journey: Ruth and Ray Pease, Dorie Simmonds, Sue Williams and Trevor Dolby. Bill & Beat Suter, Adam Sellars, Melissa, Cameron & Jasmine Pease, Mike St Carol Pease, Len 8t Sue Smith, Fiona St Michael Hedger, Diana Ritchie, Dr Desmond Morris, Prof Alan Garner, Gary Skinner, Dr Dennis Waitley, Mark Victor Hansen, Dr Themi Garagounas, Bert Newton, Geoff St Sallie Burch, Tony & Patrica Earle, Debbie Mehrtens, Deb Hinckesman, Dorreen Carroll, Andy & Justine Clarke, Kerri-Anne Kennerley, Frank & Cavill Boggs, Graham & Tracey Dufty, John Allanson, Sandra & Loren Watts, John Hepworth, Esther Rantzen, Ray Martin, Kaz Lyons, Victoria Singer, Graham & Josephine Rote, Emma Noble, Yvonne & Barrie Hitchon, Richard Cranium, Ivor Ashfield and Helen Richardson. Introduction We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse. CHINESE PROVERB Why do men tell lies? Why do they feel they have to be right about everything? Why do they avoid commitment? On the other hand, why do women cry to get their own way? Why do they insist on talking a subject to death? Why don’t they initiate sex more often? The gulf between the sexes, the misunderstandings and the conflict, even in the twenty- first century, are still as present in all our lives as they were when Adam first fell foul of Eve. In three decades of research into the differences between men and women, conducting experiments, analysing miles of film footage, writing books, talking on television and sharing information at conferences, we’ve received tens of thousands of questions about why we men and women behave in certain ways. The letters, the phone calls and the emails all come from people baffled by the kind of things the opposite sex does, and who feel frustrated and helpless in knowing exactly how to deal with them. As a result, we wrote Why Men Lie and Women Cry. Here, we’ve catalogued 40 of the most frequently asked questions from readers and audiences around the world and have endeavoured to answer them using our experience, research, surveys, latest studies, the sciences and, lastly, common sense. We then developed workable solutions to get you on the right track to communicating with the opposite sex. Why Men Lie and Women Cry tackles those big ‘need-to-know’ questions women ask themselves at lam on Sunday morning. Questions like, “Why do men ogle other women?” and “Why do they always keeping telling me what to do and how to think?” Then there are those complexities men wrestle Why Men Lie and Women Cry