When AA doesn't work for you : rational steps to quitting alcohol PDF
Preview When AA doesn't work for you : rational steps to quitting alcohol
AA When Work Doesn't For You RATIONAL TQ STEPS QurmnQ ALCOHOL Albert Ph.D. and Ellis, Emmett Yelten, Ph.D. Digitized by the Internet Archive 2012 in http://archive.org/details/whenaadoesntworkOOelli When AA Doesn't work for You Rational Steps to Quitting Alcohol When AA Doesn't Work for You Rational Steps to Quitting Alcohol by Albert Ellis Ph.D. and Emmett veiten, Ph.D. Barricade Books inc. Published by Barricade Books Inc., 150FifthAvenue, NewYork, NY 10011 Copyright© 1992byTheInstituteforRational-EmotiveTherapy All rights reserved. Nopartofthisbookmaybereproduced,storedinaretrievalsystem,ortransmitted inanyform,byanymeans,includingmechanical,electronic,photocopying,record- ing,orotherwise,withoutthepriorwrittenpermissionofthepublisher,exceptbya reviewerwhowishestoquotebriefpassagesinconnectionwithareviewwrittenfor inclusioninamagazine,newspaper,orbroadcast. Printed in the United States ofAmerica. Library ofCongress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Ellis, Albert. When AA doesn't work for you : rational steps to quitting alcohol / Albert Ellis and Emmett Velten. p. cm. ISBN 0-942637-53-4 (pbk.) $14.95 — : 1. Alcoholics Rehabilitation. I. Velten, Emmett Charlton. II. Title. HV5278.E45 1992 362.29'286—dc20 91-38539 CIP 9 8 7 6 5 4 Contents 1 How Do You Know When Alcohol Is a Problem? 1 2 How Do I Know When My Drinking Is a Problem? 17 3 Denial 37 4 Alcohol and Drugs Addicted Me 53 5 Why Do People Drink Too Much and Addict Themselves? And What Does It Take To Change? 63 6 But Therapy Doesn't Work! 77 7 What Are Your Self-Help Goals? How Will You Reach Them? 95 8 Step By Step 113 9 How To Stop Self-Defeating Bs (Stinking Thinking) 127 10 How To Dispute and Really Change Your Stinking Thinking 139 11 Easy Does It (But Do It!): Integrating Rational Ideas Into Your Self-Help Work 163 12 More Ways To Catch Your Stinking Thinking and Turn Affirmations Into Actions 185 13 Other Cognitive or Thinking Techniques of RET 197 v vi Contents 14 Teaching RET To Others (Twelfth-Stepping, RET Style) 223 15 How To Get in Touch With Your Feelings ... and Make Them Better 233 16 How To Use RET's Behavioral Methods 259 17 Relapse Prevention: Getting To Recovery, Staying There, and Moving on 273 Notes 291 Appendices A Sources of Help 297 B The Twelve Negative Emotions 299 C The Twelve Criteria of Psychological Health 303 References 307 Index 325 How Do You Know When Alcohol a Problem? is Ever since human beings discovered alcohol thousands of years ago, some have drunk too much ofit. They've sabo- taged themselves and others. Many have killed themselves with it. Alcohol is deadlier than all the "hard" drugs put together. It kills ten times more Americans than heroin does, and twenty times more than cocaine and crack. (Only tobacco is deadlier.)1 The death toll is a small part of the story, because alcohol abuse also leads to appalling suffer- ingand expense for us, the living. Its worst effects are child and spouse abuse, other violence, incest, broken families, accidents, injuries, absence at work and at home, ill health, and higher insurance rates for us all. In addition, hundreds of thousands of people feel scarred by having been raised with alcohol-addicted family members. And the heavy drinkers themselves? Not only do many die, but so do the hopes, loves, and dreams ofmany others. Every day we see on television and in the movies, in magazines and grocery store tabloids the stories ofdeg- radation and recovery fro—m the powers and peril—s ofalco- hol. Every neighborhood almost every block! has its own "meeting." The more we think we know about demon 2 how Do You Know when Alcohol is a Problem? rum and "the disease ofalcoholism," the more its dangers seem to grow. And it isn't just alcohol. Other addictions, unheard-ofmere years ago, pop up everywhere and seem to run our lives. Has the number ofaddictions increased? If so, why? Is it the stress ofmodern life? Is itbecause ourparents (and their parents!) had alcohol problems? What about the idea that addictions are caused by our genes? You may have questions that hit closer to home. — People you care about loved ones, friends, relatives, — neighbors may drink too much. You'd like to help, but you wonder; "If I try to, will I contribute to their prob- lems? Will I 'enable' them?'' "Did I contribute to their problems?" Maybe someone told you so. And even showed you one of the many books that point the finger! But how valid is that line of thinking? Then there's you, the reader, who may ask: "Do / have a problem? If my relatives have drinking problems, does that mean I have the wrong genes? Must I develop a drinking (or drug) problem some day? Do I drink too much? Should I (or could I) cut down on my drinking? Why is it so hard to do so? Will 1 become an alcoholic? What on earth is an alcoholic?" Now that you think about it, with just about every- body claiming to be "in recovery" from familiar addictions, like alcohol and drugs, as well as from new ones now in vogue, like "codependency," could you be an addict and not even know it? Or maybe you do know it. Do you count yourselfamong the recovering (but never the recovered)? — It can give you a good, warm, fuzzy feeling and a safety — net to be part ofthe "in" group. But here, too, you may have nagging questions: "Am I addicted to recovery meetings?" "Even if I'm not addicted to the meetings, do I have to go to them the rest of my life?"
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