What If - Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions

322 Pages·2016·37.82 MB·English

by  Munroe

SERIOUS SCIENTIFIC ANSWERS
to Absurd Hypothetical Questions
w h a t i f ?
RANDALL MUNROE
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From the creator of the wildly popular
webcomic xkcd, surprising answers to important
questions you probably never thought to ask
MILLIONS OF PEOPLE VISIT xkcd.comeachweek
to read Randall Munroe'siconicwebcomic. Hisstick-
figure drawings about science,technology, language,
and lovehave an enormous, dedicated following,as
dohisdeeplyresearchedanswers tohisfans'strangest
questions.The querieshereceives rangefrommerely
odd todownrightdiabolical:
o WhatifItookaswiminaspentnuclearfiielpool?
o Couldyoubuildajetpackusingdownward-firing
machineguns?
o WhatifaRichter15earthquakehitNewYorkCity?
o Whatwouldhappenifsomeone'sDNAvanished?
Inpursuit ofanswers,he cheerfiillyruns computer
simulations,digsthroughdeclassifiedmilitaryresearch
memos,consultswithnuclearreactoroperators, times
scenes from Star Wars with a stopwatch, calls his
mother, and Googlessome reallyfreaky-looking an
imals.His responses arecomicgems,accuratelyand
entertaininglyexplainingeverythingfromyouroddsof
meetingyoursoulmatetothemanyhorriblewaysyou
coulddiewhilebuildingaperiodictableoutofallthe
actualelements.
When Randall Munroe is your guide, science gets
really weird really fast. Near-light-speed baseball
pitches can levelentire city blocks. A mole of moles
cansuffocatetheplanet inablanketofmeat.Yodacan
usetheForcetorechargehiselectric-modelSmartCar.
This bookfeaturesthe most popularanswers from
the xkcd's WhatIf?blog, but many ofthe questions
(51 percent!)arenewand answered hereforthe first
time.WhatIf?isaninformativefeastforxkcdfansand
anyonewholoves toponderthehypothetical.
0914

w h a t i f ?
w h a t i f ?
SeriousScientificAnswers toAbsurdHypothetical Questions
RANDALL MUNROE
HOUGHTON MIFFLIN HARCOURT
2014 • BOSTON • NEW YORK
Copyright©2014byxkcdInc.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Forinformationaboutpermissiontoreproduceselections
fromthisbook,writetoPermissions,Houghton Mifflin
HarcourtPublishing Company, 215 ParkAvenue South,
NewYork,NewYork10003.
www.hmhco.com
LibraryofCongressCataloging-in-FublicationData
Munroe,Randall,author.
Whatif? :seriousscientificanswerstoabsurdhypotheticalquestions/ RandallMunroe.
pagescm
ISBN 978-0-544-27299-6(hardback)
ISBN 978-0-544-45686-0(internationalpbk.)
I. Science—Miscellanea. I.Title.
0x73.M965 2014
500—dc23
2014016311
BookdesignbyChristinaGleason
Lyricsfrom"IfIDidntHaveYou"©2011byTim Minchin.
ReprintedbypermissionofTim Minchin.
PrintedintheUnitedStatesofAmerica
DOC10987654321
QUESTIONS
Weird(andWorrying)Questions
Disclaimer ix
fromtheWhatif? lnbox,#2 60
Introduction xi
TheLastHuman Light 61
GlobalWindstorm 1
Machine-GunJetpack 68
Relativistic Baseball 7
Rising Steadily 73
SpentFuel Pool 10
Weird(andWorrying)Questions
Weird(andWorrying)Questions fromtheWhatif? Inbox,#3 77
fromthe WhatIf?Inbox,#1 14
Orbital Submarine 78
NewYork-StyleTime Machine 15
Short-AnswerSection 83
Soul Mates 23
Lightning 89
LaserPointer 27
Weird(andWorrying)Questions
fromtheWhatif? Inbox,#4 95
PeriodicWall ofthe Elements 35
EverybodyJump 43 Human Computer 96
AMoleof Moles 47 Little Planet 102
HairDryer 52 SteakDrop 107
HockeyPuck 112 HighThrow 168
Common Cold 114 Lethal Neutrinos 174
GlassHalfEmpty 119 Weird(andWorrying)Questions
fromtheWhatif? Inbox,#8 178
Weird(andWorrying)Questions
fromtheWhatif? lnbox,#5 125 Speed Bump 179
AlienAstronomers 126 LostImmortals 183
No More ONA 131 OrbitalSpeed 187
InterplanetaryCessna 137 FedExBandwidth 192
Weird(andWorrying)Questions Free Fall 195
fromtheWhatIf?Inbox,#6 142
Weird(andWorrying)Questions
Yoda 143 fromthe Whatif? Inbox,#9 199
FlyoverStates 146 Sparta 200
Fallingwith Helium 150 Drainthe Oceans 204
EverybodyOut 153 Drainthe Oceans: PartII 210
Weird(andWorrying)Questions Twitter 217
fromtheWhatif? Inbox,#? 157
LegoBridge 222
Self-Fertilization 158