Unfinished Business: What the Dead Can Teach Us About Life

212 Pages·2009·0.83 MB·English

by  James Van Praagh

James Van Praagh
Unfinished Business
What the Dead Can Teach Us About Life
To Linda Tomchin
My earthly angel who assists me
in nurturing the minds
and opening the hearts of the masses.
For you, I am forever grateful.
Contents
Prologue
Introduction
Emotional Baggage
One Guilt
Two Regrets
Three Love Versus Fear
Do Unto Others
Four The Blame Game
Five Forgive and Forget
Six Karma
I Can See Clearly
Seven Overcoming Obstacles
Eight Taking the High Road
Nine Clarity of Consciousness
Your New Life
Ten Transcendence
Eleven Living Your Life
Twelve Finished Business
Bibliography
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Copyright
About the Publisher
PROLOGUE
G
inny Meyer looked at her watch. The large hand closed in on the eleven while
the small one touched the five. Neil would be coming home from work any
second now, she thought. Ben wouldn’t be alone for too long. Besides, Ben and
his little friend Andrew were glued to the television set. Their eyes were
probably glazed over as they watched the latest installment of the wildly
successful Japanese cartoon Pokémon. For kids lost in the world of Pokémon,
moms are just background noise. The boys didn’t even notice Ginny when she
told them she was going over to Nancy’s house for a few minutes. Just as Ben
was obsessed with his cartoon, Ginny was obsessed with cooking. She just
finished making a brand-new turkey meatloaf recipe and couldn’t wait to get
Nancy’s reaction to it.
Nancy was the ideal next-door neighbor. Besides sharing recipes, she would
often lend a listening ear or be available to grab something at the market or pick
up the kids from school. In a way, it was like having a sister close by. This
warmed Ginny’s heart, because her own sister lived two thousand miles away,
and Nancy became the perfect substitute. Unfortunately, due to family, church,
and work obligations, their “together” moments were sporadic, so what little
time they could muster to catch up on girl talk was sacred.
Nancy washed down her bite of meatloaf with some light, dry Chablis. She
never drank during the day, but this was a special occasion—the girls hadn’t
shared a moment together in over a month. Nancy smiled warmly at Ginny, and
immediately Ginny knew her friend approved of her latest gastronomical
creation. Ginny was so proud of herself.
The sound of a car door slamming brought them both back from their culinary
moment. Ginny knew that it was probably Neil. As much as she would have
loved to finish her visit with Nancy, she got an immediate pang in her stomach.
She knew Neil would be wondering where she was, and he may not have fully
appreciated the concept of running next door to share a new recipe. The friends
hugged good-bye as Nancy told Ginny, “I understand. All part of the job.”
Ginny sprinted across the front lawn to her house. She looked to see if Neil’s
truck was in the driveway. As she reached for the front door, it suddenly snapped
open and little Andrew practically ran right through her. He turned and stopped,
looked up at her for a moment, and continued his race down the walkway. Ginny
didn’t give much thought to what might be bothering the little boy. Maybe Ben
said something that hurt his feelings.
Ginny entered the house and heard the television blaring way too loud. She
yelled out for Ben and Neil, then grabbed the remote and turned down the sound.
Instantly there was a deafening silence. Everything seemed to stand still. She
walked over to the staircase and repeatedly called out their names. Nothing.
Ginny’s insides began to tumble. Something was wrong.
She heard a grunt upstairs, and she sprinted up the steps calling out for Neil to
answer. As she reached the top landing, she was thrown back by a bloodcurdling
scream coming out of Ben’s room. When she looked inside the room, she saw
the unthinkable. In front of her was a blood-drenched Neil holding the lifeless
body of their son. Neil was staring at the ceiling screaming in agony. Bullets
were strewn on the floor next to Neil’s nine-millimeter revolver, the gun Ginny
demanded he hide just two days earlier, so their son wouldn’t play with it. But it
was too late. Words were impossible, feelings immeasurable. They both tugged
at the small boy’s frame, begging for his life, but he was long gone.
And so began the longest day of their lives.
INTRODUCTION
T
he story you have just read is horrific–a fatal mistake. It’s hard to believe that
such things happen, yet they do more times than we can imagine. I have chosen
this particular story because, although it is not the typical situation in which
parents lose a child, it is one that has always stayed with me. There were so
many layers of guilt, accusation, and shame emanating from Ginny and Neil
when they came to me as clients, that it was difficult to bring their son through to
them. Not only were they still deep in grief over losing Ben, but I’m sure they
were running the blame game over and over in their heads. Ginny was blaming
Neil for not hiding the gun in a safe place like she had asked him while at the
same time feeling guilty for leaving the boys alone. Neil was blaming Ginny for
leaving the boys unattended and feeling guilty for not locking up his gun. They
both felt responsible for Ben’s death and also felt that they had let each other
down. They were going through the motion of being alive, but they were both so
shut down, they seemed almost as dead as their son. When Ben came through, he
had so much love and forgiveness for his parents. He tried to give them their
lives back. He pleaded with them to accept his forgiveness and to forgive each
other. I remember how ironic it was to hear a child say to his parents: You have
your whole lives ahead of you still. Don’t keep messing them up. When Neil and
Ginny left my home, I knew they were relieved that Ben had come through, but I
also knew they were caught up in whose fault it was, that they just could not get
over that enormous hurdle. I heard later through mutual friends that they
divorced.
It saddened me that the love and forgiveness that Ben had demonstrated from
the other side wasn’t enough to keep his parents together. Divorce was the last
thing Ben would have wanted for Ginny and Neil. Instead of honoring their son
by creating something positive out of their tragedy (like working for gun
control), they perpetuated their guilt. They missed an opportunity to turn their
mistake into a gift to the world by possibly stopping a similar tragedy from
befalling another family. In an alternative scenario, Ginny and Neil would have
stayed together, lectured to others about handgun safety, had more children, and
let their love grow. Imagine how happy Ben would be to know his death was not
in vain.
That is why I have written this book. I have learned a lot from the other side
about how to live life, and I am continually amazed by what the spirit world has
to say. Over the past twenty-five years, I have shared spirit stories through my
books and demonstrations, but I am often disappointed that a spirit’s advice goes
unheeded. People are usually amazed when I get evidential details like a name or
death scenario correct, but when a spirit offers guidance, its counsel frequently
falls on deaf ears.
You see, when people shed their physical bodies at death, their spiritual selves
see life from a whole new perspective. It’s as if they’ve had Lasik surgery–they
can finally do without their glasses and can see more clearly. Spirits understand
why certain situations had to happen. They are able to recognize the value of
others, even their enemies, and what they had to learn from them. They also
realize how they could have skipped certain mistakes by not letting their egos
get in the way. After crossing into the light, spirits are eager to share their
newfound knowledge with the living. I am fortunate enough to be a beneficiary
of many spirits’ wisdom and guidance, and I am happy to share their insights
with you.
So many of us obsess about the one thing that is out of our control–the past.
It’s the old “should’ve, could’ve, would’ve” approach to life. We have regrets
about our jobs, our family, our money, our decisions, and our happiness. The
only power we have is in the “now,” and our now affects our future. We have
become a society with less self-responsibility and more blame. When something
goes wrong, we seek others (or God) to blame for our misfortune. When a
tragedy occurs, we become angry and guilt-ridden instead of seeing the
opportunity to create good from it. We replay emotional dramas that happened in
our childhood or recent past; somehow thinking that life will magically change,
even if we don’t. Unless we overcome this mind-set, we will always feel
overwhelmed by life. What are we to do?
Use this book on how to live life more graciously. Opportunity knocks every
day; things can change, people can change, and you can change. It’s all about
being responsible for your thoughts and actions. Your thoughts have power. The
life you are living right now is the result of your thoughts. Thoughts are energy–
they are real things. It is because of the power of our thoughts that spirits
encourage us to forgive even when it’s the hardest thing to do and to push
through our fears to make dreams come true. By utilizing the advice of spirits in
our everyday lives, we can begin to convert conflict into peace and anger into
kindness. We can stop the blame game by accepting responsibility, correcting
mistakes, and turning grief into accomplishments.
We are meant to live loving lives. We are meant to have all our needs met. We