This Ain't No Picnic: Your Punk Rock Vegan Cookbook PDF
Preview This Ain't No Picnic: Your Punk Rock Vegan Cookbook
This Ain’T no Picnic Your Punk rock VegAn cookbook Joshua Ploeg First Printing, April 1, 2014 ISBN 9780977055753 This is Microcosm #76124 Photography by Vice Cooler + Dalton Blanco Cover design by Joe Biel Illustrated and Designed by Meggyn Pomerleau All content © Joshua Ploeg, 2014 This edition is © by Microcosm Pubishing, 2014 This Ain’T Printed on post-consumer paper in the U.S. Distributed by IPG, Chicago and Turnaround, UK Microcosm Publishing no Picnic 2752 N Williams St. Portland, OR 97227 www.microcosmpublishing.com so Thanks to The Minutemen for inspiring much deliciousness. your Punk rock vegan cookbook JOshUA PlOEG with photography by VICE COOlER & DAlTON blANCO This Ain’T no Picnic Your Punk rock VegAn cookbook Joshua Ploeg First Printing, April 1, 2014 ISBN 9780977055753 This is Microcosm #76124 Photography by Vice Cooler + Dalton Blanco Cover design by Joe Biel Illustrated and Designed by Meggyn Pomerleau All content © Joshua Ploeg, 2014 This edition is © by Microcosm Pubishing, 2014 This Ain’T Printed on post-consumer paper in the U.S. Distributed by IPG, Chicago and Turnaround, UK Microcosm Publishing no Picnic 2752 N Williams St. Portland, OR 97227 www.microcosmpublishing.com so Thanks to The Minutemen for inspiring much deliciousness. your Punk rock vegan cookbook JOshUA PlOEG with photography by VICE COOlER & DAlTON blANCO INTRO 8 ONE 10 TWO 32 THREE 44 FOUR 64 FIVE 78 SIX 94 SEVEN 108 EIGHT 124 GLOSSARY 146 ABOUT THE AUTHOR (AND 161 CONTRIBUTORS) IDEAS FOR MENUS 170 NNNNNOOOOOTTTTT YYYYYOOOOOUUUUURRRRR GGGGGRRRRRAAAAANNNNNDDDDDPPPPPAAAAA’’’’’SSSSS 888 INDEX 186 HHAARRDDCCOORREE VVEEGGAANN SSLLOOPP INTRO 8 ONE 10 TWO 32 THREE 44 FOUR 64 FIVE 78 SIX 94 SEVEN 108 EIGHT 124 GLOSSARY 146 ABOUT THE AUTHOR (AND 161 CONTRIBUTORS) IDEAS FOR MENUS 170 8 INDEX 186 RREECCIIPPEESS Filthy Fruit Queercore Ring...................................................................82 Pop Punk Rainbow Popcorn Punch Cupcakes..................................83 Bouncy Black and White Ska Pie.......................................................84 Anarchy Burger......................................................................................14 Skrakky Crust Punk Brickle................................................................85 Chickn Vindaloo.....................................................................................18 Emo Sour Lemon Drop.........................................................................86 Weinerschnitzel.............................................................20 Art Noise Core Performance Art Deconstructed Sushi......................87 Pot Roast...............................................................................................21 No Rilly Tho’, Here’s Some Deconstructed Sushi..............................88 Shonen Knife Brown Mushrooms.......................................................22 Abrasive and Sweet Sour Riot Grrrl Bites.......................................89 Chop Suey...............................................................................................24 Molasses Gel Sludgey Doomcore...........................................................91 Massive Enchilada.................................................................................26 Durian Soup with Seaweed Crisps...................................................92 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps......................................28 Beef Baloney.........................................................................................30 Old Dumpstered Bagel Rarebit......................................................98 Donuts..........................................................................31 40 Oz. Mimosa.......................................................................................99 Beer Caramel.......................................................................................100 Dashboard Jerky..................................................................................35 Bagel French Toast........................................................................101 Dashboard Kale Chips........................................................................36 Crusty Cupboard Special Surprise................................................102 Snack Bar Salad...................................................................................36 Old Dumpstered Bagel Bread Pudding...............................103 Engine Block Casserole.......................................................................37 Beer and Uncheez Soup with Bagel Croutons........................104 Zippo S’mores........................................................................................38 Coffee Sauce for Everything...................................................105 Soaked Thai Noodles............................................................................41 Coffee Pot Curry..................................................................................42 Big Stuffed Biscuit and Milkshake..............................................110 Vegan Escargot and Black Quinoa Caviar.........................................112 Credit Card Sandwich.........................................................................48 Peach Melba............................................................................................114 Or-Curry Banana Sandwiches.............................................................49 Kir Royale................................................................................................115 Beer Tempura........................................................................................51 Refried Beans Pizza.............................................................................115 Marinade Wilting and Curing..........................................................52 Lavender Tea Cakes with Earl Grey .................................................116 Saucepan Cornbread...........................................................................53 Exploding Volcano Hot Dog Surprise..............................................117 Microwave Blanching.........................................................................54 Tomatoes Four Way: Tomato Bread, Tomato Sauce, Fried Tomatoes, Stovetop Smoking...............................................................................55 Tomato Salad...........................................................................................118 Stovetop Pizza.....................................................................................56 Rip Her To Shreds................................................................................121 Frybread.......................................................................60 Tidy Henry..............................................................................................122 Flatbread......................................................................60 Ol’ Veggie Fried Chickn, Mashed Potatoes, Gravy, & Greens Re-Envisioned...128 Pancakes......................................................................61 Zucchini Bread........................................................................................130 Dumplings...................................................................62 Mate Latte..............................................................................................131 Jicama Potato Salad.............................................................................132 Fishnet Tarts.........................................................................................69 Lentil Loaf...............................................................................................133 Bright Green Tomatoes.....................................................................70 Mac n Cheez With TVP Chili & Acoutrements.................................136 A Trio of Flashy Dips........................................................................72 Nutritional Yeast Mac n Cheez...........................................................137 Seaweed Liberty Spikes.......................................................................73 Tofu Scramble.........................................................................................138 Leopard Mezza.....................................................................................73 Burrito with Cucumber Salsa.............................................................140 Safety Orange Delight........................................................................74 Baked Squash.........................................................................................143 Black and Silver Wristband Bar.......................................................76 Bloodstains.....................................................................77 RECIPES Filthy Fruit Queercore Ring...................................................................82 Pop Punk Rainbow Popcorn Punch Cupcakes..................................83 Bouncy Black and White Ska Pie.......................................................84 Anarchy Burger......................................................................................14 Skrakky Crust Punk Brickle................................................................85 Chickn Vindaloo.....................................................................................18 Emo Sour Lemon Drop.........................................................................86 Weinerschnitzel.............................................................20 Art Noise Core Performance Art Deconstructed Sushi......................87 Pot Roast...............................................................................................21 No Rilly Tho’, Here’s Some Deconstructed Sushi..............................88 Shonen Knife Brown Mushrooms.......................................................22 Abrasive and Sweet Sour Riot Grrrl Bites.......................................89 Chop Suey...............................................................................................24 Molasses Gel Sludgey Doomcore...........................................................91 Massive Enchilada.................................................................................26 Durian Soup with Seaweed Crisps...................................................92 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps......................................28 Beef Baloney.........................................................................................30 Old Dumpstered Bagel Rarebit......................................................98 Donuts..........................................................................31 40 Oz. Mimosa.......................................................................................99 Beer Caramel.......................................................................................100 Dashboard Jerky..................................................................................35 Bagel French Toast........................................................................101 Dashboard Kale Chips........................................................................36 Crusty Cupboard Special Surprise................................................102 Snack Bar Salad...................................................................................36 Old Dumpstered Bagel Bread Pudding...............................103 Engine Block Casserole.......................................................................37 Beer and Uncheez Soup with Bagel Croutons........................104 Zippo S’mores........................................................................................38 Coffee Sauce for Everything...................................................105 Soaked Thai Noodles............................................................................41 Coffee Pot Curry..................................................................................42 Big Stuffed Biscuit and Milkshake..............................................110 Vegan Escargot and Black Quinoa Caviar.........................................112 Credit Card Sandwich.........................................................................48 Peach Melba............................................................................................114 Or-Curry Banana Sandwiches.............................................................49 Kir Royale................................................................................................115 Beer Tempura........................................................................................51 Refried Beans Pizza.............................................................................115 Marinade Wilting and Curing..........................................................52 Lavender Tea Cakes with Earl Grey .................................................116 Saucepan Cornbread...........................................................................53 Exploding Volcano Hot Dog Surprise..............................................117 Microwave Blanching.........................................................................54 Tomatoes Four Way: Tomato Bread, Tomato Sauce, Fried Tomatoes, Stovetop Smoking...............................................................................55 Tomato Salad...........................................................................................118 Stovetop Pizza.....................................................................................56 Rip Her To Shreds................................................................................121 Frybread.......................................................................60 Tidy Henry..............................................................................................122 Flatbread......................................................................60 Ol’ Veggie Fried Chickn, Mashed Potatoes, Gravy, & Greens Re-Envisioned...128 Pancakes......................................................................61 Zucchini Bread........................................................................................130 Dumplings...................................................................62 Mate Latte..............................................................................................131 Jicama Potato Salad.............................................................................132 Fishnet Tarts.........................................................................................69 Lentil Loaf...............................................................................................133 Bright Green Tomatoes.....................................................................70 Mac n Cheez With TVP Chili & Acoutrements.................................136 A Trio of Flashy Dips........................................................................72 Nutritional Yeast Mac n Cheez...........................................................137 Seaweed Liberty Spikes.......................................................................73 Tofu Scramble.........................................................................................138 Leopard Mezza.....................................................................................73 Burrito with Cucumber Salsa.............................................................140 Safety Orange Delight........................................................................74 Baked Squash.........................................................................................143 Black and Silver Wristband Bar.......................................................76 Bloodstains.....................................................................77 Punk means different things to different A people, with the general rule being that you can fter all of these years, even though some people call recognize a punk because they love to argue about it, me “the punk rock vegan chef” because I tour with food subcompartmentalize, and judge non-judiciously. That’s and still do buffets and demos at shows, at one point did nice, have fun in your mom’s basement. Reminds me of a live cooking show with a backing band, and everything when Varg Vikernes killed Euronymous. We’re better than is still overly DIY and sketchy much of the time, I’ve that—so stop being such a hesher about it! still never done a punk-themed cookbook or zine. So we As someone who entered punk culture after punk thought it would be fun to give it a whirl. Of was already dead...it tends to take on a life of its own, course merely having recipes was not going to be enough, and you get the chance to tailor it to your own needs and so we thought it would be entertaining to have photos. circle of friends. That’s some versatile shit, and it also But, of course, if they were just of food that would be becomes personal. That’s probably why so many people pretty passe, so people and their finery, dogs, and mess are uptight about it. Oh well, I’m pretty over it—I play must also be included. Some of it must have little to do hardcore, go to and put on shows, cook and tour DIY and with anything. still live in warehouses and dirty-ass punk houses where A mish mash of random quotes, playlists, and intros bands practice so if you don’t dig what I’m laying down by various people from my life that range from zany to here, mosey on. Or in the immortal words of Brett Frost academic also needed to be included. There needed to be “fuck you if you doubt me!” some interesting tips and methods for cooking without Particular interests, like crusties, that I find amusing: basic needs. This represents the circumstances that can using what’s in the cupboard, making something out of come about from a series of bad choices. But that’s nothing, tongue-in-cheekly paying tribute to “idols” (which one nice thing about punk and other DIY of course we’re not supposed to have—yet there are college courses and whole books on these people!?), smashing “cultures”—winding up in a tough spot at the end of the tradition, ushering in half-baked concepts and fully-formed day doesn’t stop you from having a good time, sustaining manifestations of crazy ideas—that’s what punk-themed yourself, or being able to do what you need to do...one way cookbooks are made of, or at least this one. or another. It is what it is, enjoy it for that, rather than what So voila, this tome came to be. it ain’t. I know that’s a tall order in this day and age, but You may wonder why there isn’t also a picture for similarly to my life, this book is meant to be random, kinda this and that, or why there is one of something else, or fun and moderately useful. So try to have some fun, okay? why this or that person isn’t in here...well live my life and With its confluence of fashion, design, music, food, and you would know the answer—Haha! Seriously, what part concept, it’s like you have a crappy little gallery opening of “on no budget,” “when I say I’ll get that to you in a week right here in your hand. So please sit back with a few hors I actually mean never,” or “what’s scheduling?” don’t you d’ouvres and a 40 oz. and enjoy the party! understand?! It’s shocking we managed to accomplish this much! In an attempt to keep it real, some mistakes are much love, catalogued. Life ain’t pretty, punk ain’t pretty, and food ain’t always pretty either. Neither are crusties. Joshua Ploeg Punk means different things to different A people, with the general rule being that you can fter all of these years, even though some people call recognize a punk because they love to argue about it, me “the punk rock vegan chef” because I tour with food subcompartmentalize, and judge non-judiciously. That’s and still do buffets and demos at shows, at one point did nice, have fun in your mom’s basement. Reminds me of a live cooking show with a backing band, and everything when Varg Vikernes killed Euronymous. We’re better than is still overly DIY and sketchy much of the time, I’ve that—so stop being such a hesher about it! still never done a punk-themed cookbook or zine. So we As someone who entered punk culture after punk thought it would be fun to give it a whirl. Of was already dead...it tends to take on a life of its own, course merely having recipes was not going to be enough, and you get the chance to tailor it to your own needs and so we thought it would be entertaining to have photos. circle of friends. That’s some versatile shit, and it also But, of course, if they were just of food that would be becomes personal. That’s probably why so many people pretty passe, so people and their finery, dogs, and mess are uptight about it. Oh well, I’m pretty over it—I play must also be included. Some of it must have little to do hardcore, go to and put on shows, cook and tour DIY and with anything. still live in warehouses and dirty-ass punk houses where A mish mash of random quotes, playlists, and intros bands practice so if you don’t dig what I’m laying down by various people from my life that range from zany to here, mosey on. Or in the immortal words of Brett Frost academic also needed to be included. There needed to be “fuck you if you doubt me!” some interesting tips and methods for cooking without Particular interests, like crusties, that I find amusing: basic needs. This represents the circumstances that can using what’s in the cupboard, making something out of come about from a series of bad choices. But that’s nothing, tongue-in-cheekly paying tribute to “idols” (which one nice thing about punk and other DIY of course we’re not supposed to have—yet there are college courses and whole books on these people!?), smashing “cultures”—winding up in a tough spot at the end of the tradition, ushering in half-baked concepts and fully-formed day doesn’t stop you from having a good time, sustaining manifestations of crazy ideas—that’s what punk-themed yourself, or being able to do what you need to do...one way cookbooks are made of, or at least this one. or another. It is what it is, enjoy it for that, rather than what So voila, this tome came to be. it ain’t. I know that’s a tall order in this day and age, but You may wonder why there isn’t also a picture for similarly to my life, this book is meant to be random, kinda this and that, or why there is one of something else, or fun and moderately useful. So try to have some fun, okay? why this or that person isn’t in here...well live my life and With its confluence of fashion, design, music, food, and you would know the answer—Haha! Seriously, what part concept, it’s like you have a crappy little gallery opening of “on no budget,” “when I say I’ll get that to you in a week right here in your hand. So please sit back with a few hors I actually mean never,” or “what’s scheduling?” don’t you d’ouvres and a 40 oz. and enjoy the party! understand?! It’s shocking we managed to accomplish this much! In an attempt to keep it real, some mistakes are much love, catalogued. Life ain’t pretty, punk ain’t pretty, and food ain’t always pretty either. Neither are crusties. Joshua Ploeg 1 This Ain’t No Picnic Joshua Ploeg 10 • • 11 A PUNK’S Every punk loves to either collect records or at least a vast, smarmy GOLDEN knowledge, or pretend knowledge, of said records. Punks love food, they are always hungry, starving if you will. Many songs are odes to the morsels that we crave after SHOWER playing a show or pogoing like the dickens all night. Late night and fast food fare rule the school of songs that mention edibles. We thought it would be fun to make recipes OF out of a good sampling of some of these delicious tunes, so you can add them to your collection. So here are the various foods RECIPES mentioned in punk rock songs and titles, brought to life for your enjoyment!
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