Think Confident, Be Confident: A Four-Step Program to Eliminate Doubt and Achieve Lifelong Self-Esteem

237 Pages·2009·2.06 MB·English

by  Leslie Sokol

Think

CONFIDENT,
Be

CONFIDENT
A Four-Step Program to Eliminate Doubt
and Achieve Lifelong Self-Esteem
L S PhD and M G F PhD
ESLIE OKOL, , ARCI . OX,
A PERIGEE BOOK

Praise for Th ink Confident, Be Confi dent

“In Think Confident, Be Confident, Drs. Sokol and Fox, two experienced
and t op-notch clinicians, give the reader an unfailingly encouraging,
optimistic message: ‘You can become a more confident person. You can
reduce the role that self-doubt plays in your life. You will learn how to
think and act in ways that will improve your life, starting today.’ Th e
book’s caring, upbeat message, combined with its many exercises
derived from evidence-based cognitive therapy, will provide readers
with valuable new psychological skills that endure.”
—Cory F. Newman, PhD, ABPP, Director of the Center for Cognitive Th erapy
“Think Confident, Be Confident by Leslie Sokol and Marci Fox is a
clear-thinking, helpful guide to putting your self-doubts behind you so
you can get ahead with your life. Filled with practical and e asy-t o-f ollow
techniques, you will find yourself changing old patterns of thinking to
feel like new again.” —Robert L. Leahy, PhD, author of Anxiety Free
“Drs. Sokol and Fox draw upon the science of cognitive therapy to
help lift readers out of doubt. Think Confident, Be Confident shows you
how to use moments of self-doubt as fertile ground to develop lasting
self- confidence. Doubt you can do it? Th ink again.”
—Dennis Greenberger, PhD, and Christine A. Padesky, PhD,
authors of Mind Over Mood
“Drs. Sokol and Fox provide a clear path from doubt to confi dence, based
on tried and true cognitive strategies that have been used for decades
to transform negative thinking into realistic thinking. Th ink Confident,
Be Confi dent is well written and the approach taken is straightforward
and practical. This book will provide much-needed relief to those who
struggle with unnecessary doubt!”
—Martin M. Antony, PhD, ABPP, author of The Anti- Anxiety Workbook
“Although doubt can have several positive forms (rational skepticism;
‘reasonable doubt’ in criminal cases), doubt can also undermine
self- esteem, cripple effective d ecision-m aking, and in the extreme lead
to anxiety and/or depression. Think Confident, Be Confident discusses the
clinical aspects of doubt. Written by world-l eading experts in cognitive
therapy, but at an easily accessible level, this book is a defi nitive source
for assessment and intervention with doubt. My prediction is that Th ink
Confident, Be Confident will serve as the sourcebook in this area, and
is recommended to anyone who works with patients who experience
pathological or clinical doubt.”
—Keith S. Dobson, PhD, President of the Academy of Cognitive Th erapy

Think

CONFIDENT,
Be

CONFIDENT
A Four-Step Program to Eliminate Doubt
and Achieve Lifelong Self-Esteem
L S PhD and M G F PhD
ESLIE OKOL, , ARCI . OX,
A PERIGEE BOOK
A PERIGEE BOOK
Published by the Penguin Group
Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA
Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario M4P 2Y3, Canada

(a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.)

Penguin Books Ltd., 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

Penguin Group Ireland, 25 St. Stephen’s Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd.)

Penguin Group (Australia), 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell, Victoria 3124, Australia

(a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty. Ltd.)

Penguin Books India Pvt. Ltd., 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi—110 017, India

Penguin Group (NZ), 67 Apollo Drive, Rosedale, North Shore 0632, New Zealand

(a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd.)

Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty.) Ltd., 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank, J ohannesburg 2196,

South Africa

Penguin Books Ltd., Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

While the author has made every effort to provide accurate telephone numbers and Internet addresses

at the time of publication, neither the publisher nor the author assumes any responsibility for errors,

or for changes that occur after publication. Further, the publisher does not have any control over and

does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.

Copyright © 2009 by Leslie Sokol and Marci G. Fox

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form

without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in vio­

lation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

PERIGEE is a registered trademark of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

The “P” design is a trademark belonging to Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Sokol, Leslie.
Think confident, be confident : a four-step program to eliminate doubt and achieve lifelong
self-esteem / Leslie Sokol and Marci G. Fox.
p. c m.

“A perigee book.”

Includes index.

ISBN: 1-101-13976-5

1. Self-doubt. 2. Self-esteem. 3. Self-confidence. I. Fox, Marci G. II. Title.

BF697.5.S428.S65 2009

158.1—dc22 2009014077
Dedicated to Aaron T. Beck, MD, and Judith S. Beck, PhD,

champions of cognitive therapy

CONTENTS
Foreword ix

Introduction xiii

Step 1

Label It
1. What Makes You Tick? 3

2. Give Doubt a Name 27

Step 2

Question It
3. Check Out Your Doubt 51

4. Recognize Doubt Distortions and Throw Them Out 89
Step 3

Rethink It
5. Rewrite Your Rules 117

6. Living Without Doubt 145
viii CONTENTS
Step 4

Take Action
7. Expand Your Confidence 169

8. Maintain Your Confidence 186

Your Own Doubt Register 201

Acknowledgments 207

Index 209