Table Of Content

© Sehyen Jo PENGUIN BOOKS The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down HAEMIN SUNIM is one of the most influential Zen Buddhist teachers and writers in South Korea, where his books have sold more than three million copies and are popular as guides not only to mediation but also to overcoming the challenges of everyday life. Born in South Korea, he came to the United States to study film, only to find himself pulled into the spiritual life. Educated at UC Berkeley, Harvard, and Princeton, he received formal monastic training in Korea and taught Buddhism at Hampshire College in Amherst, Massachusetts. He has more than a million followers on Twitter (@haeminsunim) and Facebook and lives in Seoul when not traveling to share his teachings. CHI-YOUNG KIM is the translator of the New York Times bestselling Korean novel Please Look After Mom by Kyung-sook Shin, for which she received the Man Asian Literary Prize, and the Korean contemporary classic The Hen Who Dreamed She Could Fly by Sun-mi Hwang. She lives in Los Angeles, California. YOUNGCHEOL LEE is a Korean artist. His paintings have been shown in more than 150 exhibitions and are admired for their idyllic quality. You can see more of his artwork at www.namusai33.com. PENGUIN BOOKS An imprint of Penguin Random House LLC 375 Hudson Street New York, New York 10014 penguin.com Copyright © 2012 by Haemin Sunim English translation copyright © 2017 by Chi-Young Kim and Haemin Sunim Penguin supports copyright. Copyright fuels creativity, encourages diverse voices, promotes free speech, and creates a vibrant culture. Thank you for buying an authorized edition of this book and for complying with copyright laws by not reproducing, scanning, or distributing any part of it in any form without permission. You are supporting writers and allowing Penguin to continue to publish books for every reader. Ebook ISBN 9780698156425 LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA Names: Hyemin, author. Title: The things you can see only when you slow down : how to be calm and mindful in a fast-paced world / Haemin Sunim ; translated by Chi-Young Kim and Haemin Sunim ; artwork by Youngcheol Lee. Other titles: Mæomch’umyæon, piroso poinæun kæottæul. English Description: New York, New York : Penguin Books, an imprint of Penguin Random House, LLC, [2017] Identifiers: LCCN 2016036101 | ISBN 9780143130772 (hardcover) Subjects: LCSH: Conduct of life. | Spiritual life—Buddhism. Classification: LCC BJ1594.5.K6 H9413 2017 | DDC 294.3/44—dc23 Illustrations by Youngcheol Lee Cover design: Roseanne Serra Cover illustration: Young-Cheol Lee Version_1 Contents About the Author Title page Copyright PROLOGUE CHAPTER 1 Rest Why Am I So Busy? When Life Disappoints, Rest a Moment CHAPTER 2 Mindfulness Befriend Your Emotions When You Are Feeling Low CHAPTER 3 Passion Temper Your Eagerness Being Right Isn’t Important; Being Happy Together Is CHAPTER 4 Relationships The Art of Maintaining a Good Relationship The Journey of Forgiveness CHAPTER 5 Love First Love I Love Your Ordinariness CHAPTER 6 Life Do You Know Kung Fu? Three Liberating Insights CHAPTER 7 The Future One Word of Encouragement Can Change the Future When You Look for Your Calling CHAPTER 8 Spirituality Long-Lost Cousins Two Spiritual Paths in One Family EPILOGUE Your Original Face P R O L O G U E AS A ZEN monk and former professor at a small liberal arts college in Massachusetts, I am frequently asked for advice on dealing with life’s challenges. In addition to sharing my advice in person and over e-mail, a few years ago I began to answer questions over social networking sites, as I enjoyed the feeling of making connections with people. My messages were generally simple, straightforward, and short. I sometimes wrote directly in response to a real-life question, sometimes as a quick note to myself when I discovered interesting patterns of thought in mindfulness practice or in interactions with people. I also discussed the value of slowing down in our busy modern lives, as well as the art of maintaining good relationships and cultivating self-compassion. I did not anticipate the outpouring of responses to my tweets and Facebook posts. Many people started sending me messages not only to ask advice, but also to express appreciation and gratitude. I still remember a young mother who had lost her husband in a car accident and sent me a heartfelt thank-you note for saving her from committing suicide, saying that she never thought about loving herself because love for her always meant giving it to someone else. A busy executive in his forties told me how wonderful it was to start his day with my messages; to him, they provided a moment of calm reflection and rest from his hectic schedule. A young recent graduate, discouraged after not finding a job, read my supportive words and gave the search another try, finally landing a job. When I read his news, I was overjoyed for a couple of days, as if I had gotten my first job. It made me profoundly happy that my simple messages could inspire people and help them in their times of difficulty. As my messages came to be shared by more and more people, and my number of Twitter and Facebook followers increased, people started calling me a “healing mentor,” which ended up becoming my nickname in Korea. I was then contacted by publishing companies offering to turn my writings into a book. In 2012, The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down came out in South Korea; to everyone’s amazement, it stayed number one on the best-seller list for forty- one weeks, and sold more than three million copies in three years. Translations followed—into Chinese, Japanese, Thai, French, and now English. I am humbled by the attention the book has received and hope it can be of help to readers of English, just as it has been to readers in Asia and France. The book has eight chapters, addressing various aspects of life—from love and friendships to work and aspirations—and how mindfulness can help us in each. For instance, I address how to deal mindfully with negative emotions like anger and jealousy as well as life’s disappointments, digging deep into my past to share my experience of failure as a new college professor. If you are overly self-conscious, the “three liberating insights” from chapter 6 can be quite helpful. If you are anxious about your future or unsure about your true calling, I offer advice on how to increase self-awareness and how to discover it. Each chapter opens with an essay, which is followed by a series of short messages—words of advice and wisdom addressed directly to you, to consider one by one, and to reconsider and remember, so that they may accompany you in moments of anxiety or despair, and remind you that you are not alone. Each chapter then continues with a shorter essay, followed by another series of short prompts for meditation. Throughout the book are color illustrations by Youngcheol Lee; these are intended as calming interludes, to be lingered over much like the meditation prompts are meant to be. Some people read the whole book quickly as they would a novel. However, I would recommend that you take your time and reflect on what you have just read before moving on to a new chapter. You will enjoy it more and find deeper meanings as you go through each chapter slowly. You should feel free to make notes in the margins or highlight parts that have resonated with you. I hope that spending time with this book becomes an occasion to reflect on and meditate in your busy life. I hope it inspires you to connect with the kinder and wiser side of yourself. May you be happy, healthy, peaceful, and always protected from harm.