The Therapist’s Notebook for Families: Solution-Oriented Exercises for Working With Parents, Children, and Adolescents

261 Pages·2015·1.52 MB·English

by  Bob Bertolino

The Therapist’s Notebook
for Families
The TherapistÊs Notebook for Families, Second Edition, provides 72 solution-oriented activities for an array
of challenging problems faced by mental health professionals when working with clients. The TherapistÊs
Notebook offers clear, practical, easy-to-use exercises to help therapists work effectively and creatively with
parents, adolescents, children, and families. Its solution-focused perspective provides a foundation based on
collaboration, the utilization of client strengths, and the creation of possibilities to facilitate present and future
change. The book is arranged in five parts, with 15 fully revised and 23 brand-new exercises.
Bob Bertolino, PhD, is an associate professor of rehabilitation counseling at Maryville University in
St. Louis, Missouri. He is also senior clinical adviser at Youth In Need, Inc. and a senior associate at the Inter-
national Center for Clinical Excellence. Bob has taught over 500 workshops throughout the United States and
internationally and has authored or co-authored 14 books.
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The Therapist’s Notebook
for Families
Solution-Oriented Exercises
for Working With Parents, Children,
and Adolescents
SECOND EDITION
Bob Bertolino
Second edition published 2016
by Routledge
711 Third Avenue, New York, NY 10017
and by Routledge
27 Church Road, Hove, East Sussex BN3 2FA
Routledge is an imprint of the Taylor & Francis Group, an informa business
© 2016 Taylor & Francis
The right of Bob Bertolino to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copy-
right, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
All rights reserved. The purchase of this copyright material confers the right on the purchasing institution to photocopy pages which bear the
photocopy icon and copyright line at the bottom of the page. No other parts of this book may be reprinted or reproduced or utilised in any form
or by any electronic, mechanical, or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including photocopying and recording, or in any information
storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publishers.
Trademark notice : Product or corporate names may be trademarks or registered trademarks, and are used only for identification and explanation
without intent to infringe.
First edition published by Routledge 2002
Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data
Bertolino, Bob, 1965(cid:259)
The therapistÊs notebook for families : solution-oriented exercises for working with parents, children, and adolescents /
Bob Bertolino. · Second edition.
pages cm
Includes bibliographical references and index.
1. Family psychotherapy. 2. Child psychotherapy. 3. Adolescent psychotherapy. 4. Solution-focused therapy. I. Title.
RC488.5.B485 2016
616.89'156·dc23
2015012199

ISBN: 978-0-415-72693-1 (pbk)
ISBN: 978-1-3158-3285-2 (ebk)
Typeset in Times
by Apex CoVantage, LLC
To my stepmother, Dottie, for embracing the “Bertolino tribe,” standing by and support-
ing the seven of us as we faced the trials and tribulations of childhood, adolescence, and
young adulthood. Families are forever.
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CONTENTS
Acknowledgments xi
Introduction xiii
PART I: THE FAMILY AS A RESOURCE
1. The TherapistÊs Notebook: Preparing for Working With Families 3
2. The Pyramid: Identifying Levels of Need 6
3. Reputation Matters: Examining the Culture of Therapy 11
4. Collaboration Keys: Strengthening the Alliance 15
5. Preferences: Eliciting ClientsÊ Ideas About Therapy 18
6. Who Are You? Qualities Within 22
7. Recollections: Finding What We Do Well 25
8. Factors: Influences on Problems and Solutions 28
9. Taking Stock: Creating a Family Inventory of Resources 32
10. More Than: Challenging Unhelpful Influences 36
11. More like Whom? Speculating About My Parents 39
12. Significant: People Who Know or Have Known Me 44
13. Inside Job: Exploring Family Solutions 48
14. Inherited or Learned or Both? 51
PART II: GETTING CLEAR ON CHANGE
15. Cycling Through 57
16. The Language of Possibility 60
viii Contents
17. Invitations to Accountability: Separating Feeling and Doing 63
18. Translations: Using Action-Talk 66
19. Solution-Talk 69
20. Determining Goals: What Needs to Change? 71
21. Indications: Identifying Goal-Related Improvement 74
22. The Crystal Ball 76
23. The Time Machine 78
24. Movement: Signs of Progress 80
25. Scaling: Taking the Temperature of Change 83
26. Exploring Theories of Change 87
PART III: CHANGING VIEWS AND PERSPECTIVES
27. Future-Talk: Acknowledgment and a Vision for the Future 93
28. Reviving the Soul: Spiritual Energy and Resources 96
29. Did You See That? Acknowledging Efforts 100
30. Family Views: Appreciating Different Perspectives 103
31. Teaching Your Children 107
32. Requests for Change 109
33. Catch ÊEm Doing Well 111
34. Seize the Moments: Identifying Exceptions 114
35. Gaining the Upper Hand: Searching for Counterevidence 117
36. How Does That Help You? Reevaluating Viewpoints 120
37. What Would Einstein Say? Considering Alternative Views 123
Contents ix
38. The World as a Consultant: Learning From Experienced Others 127
39. Scene It: Movies as Life 130
40. Separating From Problems 133
41. The Big Picture 137
42. WhatÊs My Mission? Finding a Meaning 141
43. Before Tomorrow: Finding a Vision for the Future 145
PART IV: CHANGING ACTIONS AND INTERACTIONS
44. Our Lives as Patterns 153
45. Exception-Seeking: Changing Patterns 156
46. Stay With It: Going Along With the Pattern 159
47. Try-Outs: Exploring the Benefits of Turning Patterns On and Off 162
48. Do Something Different: Experimenting With Pattern Interruptions 164
49. United We Stand: Creating Caregiver Agreement 167
50. WhoÊs Doing What? Sharing Household Responsibilities 170
51. Script It Out 173
52. Trouble With the Curve: Doing the Unexpected 175
53. Here, There, Not Everywhere: Change Some Aspect of Context 178
54. Something Different, Something New, Something Unpredictable 180
55. Remember When: Utilizing Past Solutions and Successes 183
56. NothingÊs Forever; It Just Seems That Way: Problem
Wind-Downs and Endings 186
57. What a Difference a Day Makes: Charting Solutions 188