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A Series of Unfortunate Events BOOK the Twelfth THE PENULTIMATE PERIL by LEMONY SNICKET Il lust ra t i ons by Brett Helquist Dear Reader, If this is the first book you found while searching for a book to read next, then the first thing you should know is that this next-to-last book is what you should put down first. Sadly, this book presents the next-to-last chronicle of the lives of the Baudelaire orphans, and it is next-to- first in its supply of misery, despair, and unpleasantness. Probably the next-to-last things you would like to read about are a harpoon gun, a rooftop sunbathing salon, two mysterious initials, three unidentified triplets, a notorious villain, and an unsavory curry. Next-to-last things are the first thing to be avoided, and so allow me to recommend that you put this next-to- last book down first, and find something else to read next at last, such as the next-to-last book in another chronicle, or a chronicle containing other next-to-last things, so that this next-to-last book does not become the last book you will read. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket Fo r Beat ric e— No one c ou ld e x t inguish my love, or your house. Contents DEAR READER iii iv FOR BEATRICE— CHAPTER ONE Certain people have said that the world is like a… 1 CHAPTER TWO If you were to hold this book up to a… 19 CHAPTER THREE There are places where the world is quiet, but the… 51 CHAPTER FOUR When the elevator finally reached the roof, and the doors… 77 CHAPTER FIVE When the elevator reached the sixth story, Klaus bade good-bye… 99 CHAPTER SIX When the elevator reached the third story, Sunny bid good-bye… 123 CHAPTER SEVEN Quite a few things happened that day after the clock… 151 CHAPTER EIGHT The word “denouement” is not only the name of a… 175 CHAPTER NINE “Ha!” Count Olaf shrieked, pointing at the Baudelaire orphans with… 205 CHAPTER TEN “What was that?” a voice called out.… 237 CHAPTER ELEVEN An old expression, used even before the schism, says that… 265 CHAPTER TWELVE The man with a beard but no hair stood up… 295 CHAPTER THIRTEEN “Ha!” Count Olaf crowed. “This takes the cake!” He was… 319 ABOUT THE AUTHOR AND ILLUSTRATOR TO MY KIND EDITOR A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS CREDITS COVER COPYRIGHT ABOUT THE PUBLISHER

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Lemony Snicket returns with the last book before the last book of his bestselling Series of Unfortunate Events. Scream and run away before the secrets of the series are revealed! Very little is known about Lemony Snicket and A Series of Unfortunate Events. What we do know is contained in the followi