The Grieving Child in the Classroom: A Guide for School-Based Professionals

245 Pages·2019·1.729 MB·English

by  Sue Trace Lawrence

The Grieving Child in the
Classroom
The Grieving Child in the Classroom integrates the latest research on children’s
bereavement and adapts it for use in the classroom.
Chapters tackle the neurological, cognitive, emotional, and social effects of
childhood grief and demonstrate the ways in which those reactions can manifest in
the classroom. By recognizing individual differences in coping styles and considering
variables such as developmental stage, nature of the loss, and availability of support,
teachers and staff can become better equipped to respond to the bereaved child’s
needs. The book incorporates theoretical explanations of grief responses as well as
practical suggestions for supporting bereaved children in real-world settings.
Whether the loss affects one child or the entire student body, educators can turn
to this comprehensive guidebook for ways to support grieving students in their
classrooms.
Sue Trace Lawrence, MEd, MA, has worked extensively with children and currently
teaches psychology while conducting research on childhood grief.
“The Grieving Child in the Classroom is a crucial read in today’s world. Lawrence
imparts her own comprehensive research as well as the research of many top experts
in the field of childhood bereavement to make this book an essential text for teach-
ers, counselors, and school administrators attentive to helping grieving students in
their classrooms. This book is truly needed in a society where children are the for-
gotten grievers. Kudos to Lawrence for writing on this important topic.”
—Dana Hahn, director of the Friendly Hearts Club Grief Support Program
and founder/director of the Luke William Hahn Foundation
“I am grateful to this book’s respectful acknowledgement of children’s acute attun-
ement to loss and to its recognition of developmental differences in children’s
experiences and expressions of this grief. This is an invaluable resource for family
members, educators, and mentors as they support grieving children with sensitivity
and compassion.”
—Kristen English, PsyD, licensed psychologist and clinical director
for the Traces of Love Association
“Sue Trace Lawrence compellingly captures the common challenges children face
following loss. This book broadly examines bereavement and its legacy by effec-
tively integrating neurological, cognitive, socioemotional, and psychological per-
spectives. She offers useful guidance about how educators can best respond in order
to facilitate students’ recovery and help them thrive. This book is an extremely
valuable resource for anyone who cares about children.”
—Catherine Chambliss, PhD, professor of psychology at Ursinus College
and author of Empathy Rules
The Grieving Child in
the Classroom
A Guide for School-Based Professionals
Sue Trace Lawrence
First published 2020
by Routledge
52 Vanderbilt Avenue, New York, NY 10017
and by Routledge
2 Park Square, Milton Park, Abingdon, Oxon, OX14 4RN
Routledge is an imprint of the Taylor & Francis Group, an informa business
© 2020 Sue Trace Lawrence
The right of Sue Trace Lawrence to be identified as author of this
work has been asserted by her in accordance with sections 77 and
78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
All rights reserved. The purchase of this copyright material confers
the right on the purchasing institution to photocopy pages which
bear the photocopy icon and copyright line at the bottom of the
page. No other part of this publication may be reproduced, stored
in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means,
electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise,
without prior permission in writing from the publisher.
Trademark notice: Product or corporate names may be trademarks
or registered trademarks, and are used only for identification and
explanation without intent to infringe.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
A catalog record for this book has been requested
ISBN: 978-0-367-14554-5 (hbk)
ISBN: 978-0-367-14555-2 (pbk)
ISBN: 978-0-429-05551-5 (ebk)
Typeset in Bembo
by Apex CoVantage, LLC
To Rob and Tim: There are no words to describe your influence
on me now, then, and forever.
To Alex: Disenfranchised grief does not hurt any less as the
years go by.
To M.: Unconditional love never dies.
I love you all.

Contents
Preface xi
Acknowledgments xiii
Author Biography xv
Introduction: Why Educators Should Be Knowledgeable
About Grief 1
SECTION 1
Defining Grief Within a Developmental Context 7
1 Neuronal Pathways in the Brain 9
2 The Role of Memory 18
3 Cognitive Development and Understanding Death 25
4 Children’s Psychological, Social, and Emotional Development 31
5 Attachment and Relationships 39
6 Loss as Potential Trauma 43
7 Definitions of Grief 50
SECTION 2
Reactions to Grief and Loss During Early and
Middle Childhood 55
8 General Principles of Childhood Grief 57
9 Patterns of Grief Reactions 62
10 Emotions of Grief—Sadness 68
11 Emotions of Grief—Anger 72
viii Contents
12 Emotions of Grief—Fear 76
13 Emotions of Grief—Guilt 82
14 Learned Helplessness After a Loss 90
15 Effects in the Classroom 93
16 Diagnosable Issues 97
SECTION 3
How to Help Grieving Students 109
17 What to Say to a Grieving Child 111
18 What Not to Say to a Grieving Child 117
19 What to Do for the Grieving Child 121
20 Sublimation, Catharsis, and Finding Meaning 128
21 Starting a Grief Support Group 131
22 Founding a Nonprofit Organization 135
23 When Grief and Loss Hits the Community 138
24 When the Deceased Is a Pet 144
25 Grief During the Holidays 147
26 The Need for Grief Education, Planning, and Training 150
27 Resilience 154
28 A Few Final Thoughts 158
Appendices 159
Appendix A: Statistical Results of Childhood Traumatic Loss
Survey Study, Ursinus College (2016) 161
Appendix B: Childhood Traumatic Loss Survey, Ursinus College
(2016) 162
Appendix C: Comments From College Students Obtained Via
Interviews and Online Surveys, Ursinus College (2016–2019) 166
Appendix D: Online Sources of Support and Advice 167
Appendix E: Annotated Bibliography of Children’s Books That
Deal With Death, Loss, and Grief 169
Appendix F: Family Movies That Depict Loss Sensitively and
Honestly 174
Contents ix
Appendix G: Lesson Plans and Ideas for a Grief Support Group 176
Appendix H: Sample Nonprofit Outreach Letter 182
Appendix I: Sample Nonprofit Information Sheet for Stakeholders 184
Appendix J: Sample Nonprofit Mission Statement 185
Appendix K: Tips and Guidelines for Group Facilitators 187
Appendix L: Sample Letter to Send to Parents and Guardians 188
Appendix M: Sample Application and Consent Form 189
Appendix N: Sample Confidentiality Pledge for Group Members 191
Appendix O: Information Sheet on the Stages of Grief 192
Appendix P: Handout on Coping During the Holidays 194
Appendix Q: Project Ideas for Grief Support Groups 196
Appendix R: Activities to Be Used With a Grief Support Group 197
Appendix S: Suggestions for Activities to Help Kids Cope
With Grief 199
Appendix T: Grief Experiences Worksheet 201
Appendix U: Grief Definitions Worksheet 202
Appendix V: Coping Strategies Worksheet 203
Appendix W: My Loved One Worksheet 204
Appendix X: Dead or Alive Worksheet 205
Appendix Y: Grief Scenarios Worksheet 206
Appendix Z: Scavenger Hunt Worksheet 208
References 209
Index 225