The Gift of ADHD: How to Transform Your Child's Problems into Strengths

233 Pages·2010·1.01 MB·English

by  Lara Honos-Webb

“You are the parent. If you can change and do what this wonderful
book invites you to change and do, then you can give the most pre-
cious gift to your child—transforming your child’s “problem” into a
strength. Please accept the gift of this book—for your child’s sake.”
—A lvin R. Mahrer, Ph.D., professor emeritus of psychology
at the University of Ottawa, Canada, and author of The
Complete Guide to Experiential Psychotherapy
“Honos-Webb grabbed my scattered attention quickly and held it
with this enlightening book, without resorting to drugs. I nervously
jumped to sections such as ‘The Medical Model of Disease’ and
‘Why Medications May Not Be the Answer’ and found them bal-
anced and enlightening. Then I calmed down, read the rest, and
learned a lot. You will too . . . if you can pay attention.”
—T homas Greening, professor of psychology at Saybrook
Graduate School and editor of the Journal of
Humanistic Psychology
“Honos-Webb’s book is a healing gift to children with ADHD and
their parents, teachers, psychologists, and doctors. Taken to heart,
her message could transform the lives of these children, their fami-
lies, and even the educational system. The Gift of ADHD is a must-
read for anyone whose life is touched by the unique children who
are given this diagnosis. Even adults with this diagnosis should read
this book to find a radically new way of understanding themselves
and celebrating their own gifts.”
—L ane Arye, Ph.D., author of Unintentional Music:
Releasing Your Deepest Creativity and internationally
known process-oriented therapist and teacher
the of
Gift
ADHD
SECOND EDITION
How to
Transform
Your Child’s
Problems into
Strengths
LARA HONOS-WEBB, PH.D.
New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
Publisher’s Note
Tis publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to
the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged
in rendering psychological, fnancial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or
counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.
Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books
Copyright © 2010 by Lara Honos-Webb
New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
5674 Shattuck Avenue
Oakland, CA 94609
www.newharbinger.com
All Rights Reserved
Printed in the United States of America
Acquired by Tesilya Hanauer; Cover design by Amy Shoup;
Edited by Karen O’Donnell Stein; Text design by Tracy Marie Carlson
PDF ISBN: 9781572248502
Library of Congress has cataloged the print editions as:
Honos-Webb, Lara.
Te gift of ADHD : how to transform your child’s problems into strengths / Lara
Honos-Webb ; foreword by Scott M. Shannon. -- 2nd ed.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 978-1-57224-850-2
1. Attention-defcit hyperactivity disorder--Popular works. I. Title. II. Title: Gift of
attention defcit hyperactivity disorder.
RJ506.H9H66 2010
618.92’8589--dc22
2010016100
Contents
Acknowledgments v
Foreword vii
Preface to the Second Edition xi
Preface to the First Edition xv
CHAPTER 1
Difference Is Not a Disorder or a Deficit 1
CHAPTER 2
How You Can Transform Your Child 23
CHAPTER 3
Reclaiming Self-Esteem for Your Child 45
The Gift of ADHD
CHAPTER 4
How to Become Your Child’s Advocate, Not Apologist 65
CHAPTER 5
The Gift of Creativity 89
CHAPTER 6
Showing the Way: Ecological Consciousness 107
CHAPTER 7
Interpersonal Intuition 127
CHAPTER 8
Your Exuberant Child: Reframing Hyperactivity 145
CHAPTER 9
Your Emotionally Expressive Child 161
CHAPTER 10
How to Navigate the Educational and Mental
Health Systems 179
References 197
iv
Acknowledgments
I gratefully dedicate this book to Ken, Kenny, and Audrey Webb for
giving me the gift of waking up happy every day.
I thank my brother, John Honos, and my mother, Karen Honos,
for giving me a front-row seat, allowing me to understand ADHD as
a gift. John’s unique gifts and my mother’s unique approach are the
inspiration for this book. Thanks also to Edward, Chrissty, Grace,
Cate, and Luke Honos for being my cheerleaders along the way. I
also appreciate the support from and interesting conversations with
Carole and Bill Webb and Anna and Rosie Chalfant.
This book owes much to the scholarly work of Larry Leitner,
whose pioneering work on humanistic assessment is the primary
scholarly inspiration for the approach taken herein.
I also want to thank my acquisitions editor, Tesilya Hanauer,
for her incredible support throughout the process and for her initial
interest in my work. Thank you for seeing so much potential in my
The Gift of ADHD
views on ADHD and in my work. I am also grateful for the thorough
editorial assistance of Heather Mitchener, Carole Honeychurch, and
Karen Stein.
So much of this book was shaped by stimulating conversations
with friends and colleagues Marc Celentana, Cy Estonactac, Jenny
Yeaggy, Rose Pacini, and Jeannie Lopez. Thanks to Kimberly McCoy
for her special insights and sharing of personal experiences. I am
grateful for the encouragement and support from Dr. Robin Goldstein
and Annemarie Roeper. I appreciate like-minded colleagues includ-
ing Dr. Scott Shannon, Barbara Probst, and Daniel Pink. I want
to thank Lema Almaddine for her research assistance. I’m grateful
to Hagen Panton for his helpful conversations and idea to create a
“When the Teacher Calls” list for parents.
Many thanks are due to Dick and Alison Jones and their family
for their remarkable generosity of spirit, and I thank John Thomas
for his lifelong support and encouragement.
Finally, I am grateful to William Cangemi and Elizabeth Harrick
for their original interest in the research project that led to this
book.
vi
Foreword
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a common
and difficult challenge for children and young adults. This disor-
der affects boys much more often than girls and has continued to
increase in rates over the last three decades. In the 1970’s there were
about 250,000 children identified with this problem. Today, we have
almost four million youth labeled with this diagnosis and over two
million treated with stimulant medications. The United States uses
about 80% of the world’s stimulant medications. Rates of diagnosis
in other countries are a small fraction of what we diagnose here in
America. What is going on here?
In 2007 Phillip Shaw, MD and his colleagues at National Institute
of Mental Health published a groundbreaking study of ADHD. They
took brain scans of 446 kids (with and without ADHD) over many
years and monitored brain development. This is the by far the largest
study of pediatric brain development in ADHD. What they found