The First Relationship The First Relationship INFANT AND MOTHER Daniel N. Stern WITH A NEW INTRODUCTION HARVARD UNIVERSITY PRESS Cambridge,Massachusetts London,England 2002 Copyright©1977byDanielStern;copyright©2002 bythePresidentandFellowsofHarvardCollege all rights reserved PrintedintheUnitedStatesofAmerica 10987654321 LibraryofCongressCataloginginPublicationData Stern,DanielN. Thefirstrelationship:infantandmother/DanielN.Stern. p. cm. Originallypublished:Cambridge:HarvardUniversityPress,1977. Includesbibliographicalreferencesandindex. ISBN0-674-00783-2(alk.paper) 1.Motherandinfant.ITitle. BF720.M68S742002 155.42(cid:1)218—dc21 2001051917 Formychildren Michael,Maria,Kaia Acknowledgments The writing of this book owes much to discus- sion with a number of colleagues and co-workers, and to the sug- gestionsandcriticismstheyoffered.Inmostcasestheircontribution relatesnotonlytothewritingof thebookbutalsototheyearsof research and exchange of ideas that it is based on. I would like to mentionespeciallyJosephJaffe,BeatriceBeebe,GailA.Wasserman, Stephen Bennett, Sam Anderson, John Gibbon, J. Craig Peery, and Liz Sharpless. I would also like to acknowledge Lawrence C. Kolb andHowardF.Huntwho,inadditiontobeinginvaluablementors, werecruciallyinstrumentalinmypursuitof thesestudies.Muchof the research was supported by the William T. Grant Foundation; The Research Foundation for Mental Hygiene, New York State; andTheJaneHilderHarrisFoundation.Iamespeciallyindebtedto PhyllisJacobsforhelpwiththepreparationof themanuscript,and toSusanW.Bakerfortheunflaggingencouragementshehasgiven inthewritingof thisbook.Mostof allIwanttopaytributetothe parentswhohaveletuslearnfromthematfirsthand. Contents Introduction 1 1 Learning about Things Human 16 2 The Caregiver’s Repertoire 23 3 The Infant’s Repertoire 49 4 From Laboratory to Real Life 69 5 Where Do the Steps Lead? 91 6 Structure and Timing 97 7 From Interaction to Relationship 117 8 Missteps in the Dance 133 9 Finding Your Own Path 157 Notes 163 Index 171