The Art of Approaching

341 Pages·2006·1.83 MB·English

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The Art of Approaching – How to meet AMAZING women without fear of rejection!

Disclaimer: This book is for entertainment purposes only. The views
expressed are those of the author alone, and should not be taken as expert
instruction or commands. The reader is responsible for his or her own actions.
The advice in this book is meant for responsible adults, age 18 and over, and is
not meant for minors.
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The Art of Approaching – How to meet AMAZING women without fear of rejection!

Table Of Contents

INTRODUCTION 7
THE ART OF RELATIONSHIP SKILLS 16
IN THE BEGINNING… 18
INTRODUCING… JOSEPH MATTHEWS 20
OUTCOME & PROCESS 23
ARE YOU READY TO ATTRACT WOMEN? 26
THEY DON’T TEACH THIS IN SCHOOL… 29
THE UNNATURAL ATTRACTION PROCESS 33
SUCCESS THROUGH FAILURE 37
THE PERFECTION FALLACY 41
THE ART OF BELIEF 46
WOMEN ARE NOT ATTRACTED TO MEN WHO AREN’T ATTRACTED TO THEMSELVES
49
PERSONAL TRUTHS ARE ALSO PERSONAL LIES 51
MIND YOUR RELIGIOUS BELIEFS 53
AVOID FOCUSING ON NEGATIVITY 58
THE ART OF BODY LANGUAGE 61
WHAT YOUR BODY LANGUAGE SHOULD BE 62
HOW TO READ A WOMAN’S BODY LANGUAGE 66
HOW TO TOUCH A WOMAN 71
ALWAYS WATCH THE EYES 73
THE ART OF CONFIDENCE 79
CONFIDENCE DESTROYING MYTHS 83
CONFIDENCE DESTROYING ACTIONS 86
BEING COMFORTABLE WITH NEGATIVE FEELINGS 88
BAD HABITS TO AVOID 91
HOW TO CHANGE YOUR HABITS 94
RETRAINING YOURSELF TO BE CONFIDENT 100
THE ART OF APPROACHING 104
PART I: THE THEORY OF APPROACHING 110
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The Art of Approaching – How to meet AMAZING women without fear of rejection!
WHAT IS AN OPENER? 111
WHAT IS INTEREST? 113
TYPES OF OPENERS 117
INTRUDERS 118
TIMING 122
TONALITY 124
BODY LANGUAGE 127
GROUP APPROACHES 129
BEFORE THE APPROACH 133
PART II: TYPES OF OPENERS 139
ADVICE OPENER 140
COMPLIMENT OPENER 144
DIRECT OPENERS 148
DRAMA OPENER 151
INSULT OPENER 157
THE JOKE OPENER 161
ONLINE OPENERS 164
OPINION OPENER 168
ROLEPLAY OPENER 175
SITUATIONAL OPENERS 180
PART III: LEARNING TO APPROACH 184
FEAR OF THE APPROACH 185
OVERCOMING THE BARRIERS 188
BOOTCAMP 190
BOOTCAMP GOALS 193
LONG TERM BOOTCAMP GOALS 194
BOOTCAMP BREAKDOWN 196
WHERE TO MEET WOMEN 198
THE ART OF DATING 205
WHAT IS RAPPORT? 207
THE “FISH & HOOK” METHOD 212
THE ART OF MINI-DATING 217
GO FOR THE DATE, OR GO FOR THE NUMBER? 221
HOW TO TAKE HER ON INTERESTING DATES 225
THE SCREENING PROCESS (FIND YOURSELF A GOOD WOMAN!) 227
WHY YOU SHOULDN’T BE “FRIENDS” BEFORE DATING 232
THE MAGIC OF MISTAKES 238
THE ART OF FLIRTING 241
THE TWO TYPES OF FLIRTING 243
HOW TO FLIRT 245
FLIRTING GUIDELINES 247
WHAT NOT TO DO WHEN FLIRTING 249
THE ULTIMATE FLIRTING SECRET 251
THE ART OF STORYTELLING 253
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The Art of Approaching – How to meet AMAZING women without fear of rejection!
STORY STRUCTURE 254
CHARACTERS 255
ACTION 257
DETAILS 258
OBSTACLES 259
SPEAK IN GENERALIZATIONS 260
KNOW YOUR OUTCOME 261
HOW TO TELL A STORY 262
STORYTELLING MANNERISMS 265
CONSTRUCTING YOUR OWN STORIES 266
PRACTICING YOUR STORY 267
THE ART OF BEING SOCIAL 268
THE BASICS OF BEING SOCIAL 270
TIPS FOR AN ACTIVE SOCIAL LIFE 273
HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS 275
WOMEN AND SOCIAL CIRCLES 277
THE ART OF SEDUCTION 282
USE WHAT YOU HAVE – YOUR OWN PERSONAL ATTRACTION MECHANISM 284
THE GREAT VIRGINITY MYTH 289
MOVE TOWARDS BEAUTY 296
HAVE PASSION FOR WOMEN 302
EXTERIOR INFLUENCE VS. INTERIOR INFLUENCE 307
THE ART OF INFLUENCE 314
AFTERWARD: THE SEDUCTION OF CHRISTIE 321

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The Art of Approaching – How to meet AMAZING women without fear of rejection!

My Advice On
Attracting Women

Years ago, I was asked by a student,
“What advice about women would
you give to the average man?”

My reply was,
“Don’t be average.”

The 90/10 Rule Of Dating

Most of us have heard of the 80/20 rule. In other words, 80% of
our success comes from 20% of our efforts. Originated by the
Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto in 1897, it is also know as the
Principle of Least Effort.

I agree with the 80/20 rule for overall success in all areas of life
but relationships and dating. When it comes to dating, I believe in
the 90/10 rule. I believe that 10% of the men in this world are
having 90% of the fun when it comes to women. If you note, 10%
of the athletes make 90% of the money, as do 10% of the
musicians out there. There is an elite 10% of men in the world
who are “naturals” when it comes to the art and science of dating
women.

This book explains how some of the men in the 10% have horded
90% of the success, and how you can uncover their secrets to do
the same.

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The Art of Approaching – How to meet AMAZING women without fear of rejection!

INTRODUCTION

"So, Allan here tells me you're a pick up artist?"

I took a sip of my Malibu and Pineapple. The man sitting in front of me was nursing a
beer. Our mutual friend Allan was sitting back with a big grin on his face.

"I really hate that term," I said. "I prefer to think of myself as a cool guy women find
irresistible."

Gary, the man before me, laughed at that.

"Either way, he says you're pretty good with women."

"I'm okay," I said.

"Don't be modest," said Gary. "You wrote a book about this, didn't you?"

I turned to Allan. Allan was a cool guy, but he tended to introduce me to everyone he
knew as the "pick up guy."

It wouldn't be so bad if the people he told weren't constantly trying to find out if I was a
fake or not.

"My book is about a lot of things," I replied. "It’s about how to be more confident with
yourself, how to meet women, recognize attraction signals, and display your interest in
ways that won't get you rejected."

"Fascinating," said Gary. "I wish I had a book like that when I was in High School."

"Don't we all?" chimed in Allan.

I nodded, silently cursing myself for wasting a perfectly good Friday night by going out
with Allan and his friend.

It wasn't that they were bad guys, or that I didn't like hanging out with them, but this was
the perfect time to be meeting women, and I was stuck with two men instead.

"So you could pick up any woman in this bar?" asked Gary.

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The Art of Approaching – How to meet AMAZING women without fear of rejection!
I shook my head. "No, I can't do that. There are too many factors involved. But I could
easily meet any woman in this bar."

"Really?" said Gary. "I'd love to see that!"

"Me too," said Allan.

Allan had seen me do it before, but he really got off on seeing the reaction of people who
HADN'T seen me in action. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm really not into performing in front of an audience," I said.

Gary frowned for a second. "Then what about a bet?" he said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I'll bet you free drinks the rest of the night you can't go up and get a number from a
woman I pick out for you."

I smiled and shook my head. "You really want to see this in action, don't you?"

"You bet 'cha!" said Gary. "What do you say?"

I really hate backing down from challenges, even when I'm put on the spot. But free
drinks for the night sounded pretty good to me.

"One condition," I said. "Allan gets to choose the girl."

"Deal," said Gary.

Allan started scanning the room. The bar was a small, poorly lit place off of Vine Street
in Hollywood called Daddy's Lounge.

We had gotten to the place early, and it was now starting to get crowded. There were
plenty of girls there this night.

I liked Daddy's because it was away from the hard-core club scene of the Sunset Strip.
The girls were easier to approach, and the music wasn't as loud.

Eventually, Allan stopped on a group of four girls standing by the bar.

"Those," he said. "Over there, by the bar."

"That's a bit unfair," said Gary. "There are four of them."

"Don't sweat it," I said. "That's actually easier to approach than a girl who's by herself."
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The Art of Approaching – How to meet AMAZING women without fear of rejection!

Gary cocked an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yep. Any girl in particular, Allan?"

"Which ever one you want," he smiled.

I studied the group for a moment, trying to get a feel for the dynamic. There were three
white girls and a black girl. One was very attractive, two were cute, one of the white
girls was a bit chubby for my tastes.

I noticed the chubby girl was the one doing all the talking.

None of the girls were dressed to impress. It was simple attire, not your usual club wear.

I sat back for a moment deciding the best way to approach the group, and once I had it, I
got to my feet and made my way over to them.

(I could almost feel Gary's eyes glued to my back.)

I approached an opening between two girls in the group, and made sure my voice was
loud enough to hear.

"Hey guys," I said.

As soon as I opened my mouth, all four girls stared at me.

This is the part of approaching I always hate. I just intruded on a closed conversation and
the defenses have gone up. But I was committed, so I had to see it through.

"This'll only take a second, and then I'll be on my way. But I've got a really weird
question for you. Do you guys watch a lot of TV?"

The girls all looked at each other for a moment. I suspected the chubby one was the
leader of the group, but whoever answered first would be the one in charge.

"That's a strange question to ask in a bar," said the chubby one.

I smiled. "I told you it was a weird one."

"Why do you want to know?" she asked.

"Have you ever seen that show Desperate Housewives?" I asked.

One of the girls, a cute brunette, lit up at that.

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The Art of Approaching – How to meet AMAZING women without fear of rejection!
"Oh, I love that show!" she said.

I smiled at her. She just volunteered to be my target.

"Okay, then maybe you can help me out with this," I said. "I have a theory, that Every
girl relates to one of the Desperate Housewives more than the others, and you can tell a
lot about her based on the one she likes the best. But it only works if you've seen the
show. So you've seen it, but what about the rest of you?"

"We've all seen it," said the chubby one.

"Great, then you know what I'm talking about. So which one is your favorite?"

"Why are you asking us this?" said the chubby one suspiciously.

I pointed to Allan and Gary at our table. "See those two guys over there?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said.

"We've been arguing about this all night, and I wanted to prove my theory. So I wanted
to get a female viewpoint on this. But I can already tell which Housewife you relate to
best."

The chubby one got a bit defensive at this.

"Okay," she said. "Which one?"

"I'd say you relate most to the Ava Longoria character."

The chubby one looked at me strange. I was wrong, but I knew that before I said it.

"Why's that?" she asked.

"Because her character is smarter than most give her credit for, and she has a great deal
of inner strength that helps her to get what she wants, even though others constantly
underestimate her."

The chubby one softened up a bit more at this. "I actually like Felicity Huffman better,"
she said.

"Why's that?" I asked.

"Because she doesn't take sh*t from anyone, and no matter what happens to her, she's a
good mom and a good wife who loves her family."

"Awesome! See? I knew you had it in you!"
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