Pick Another Checkout Lane, Honey: Learn Coupon Strategies to Save $1000s at the Grocery Store

336 Pages·2012·4.44 MB·English

by  Joanie Demer

Pick another
CHECKOUT LANE,
honey
LEARN COUPON STRATEGIES TO
$AVE $1,000’s

AT THE GROCERY STORE!
JOANIE DEMER & HEATHER
WHEELER
Pick Another Checkout Lane, Honey
Learn Coupon Strategies to $AVE $1,000’s at the Grocery Store!
© 2011 Joanie Demer & Heather Wheeler
All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner
whatsoever without the expressed written permission of the author.
Address all inquiries to:
The Krazy Coupon Lady
[email protected]
PickAnotherCheckOutLaneHoney.com
TheKrazyCouponLady.com
ISBN: 978-0-615-52517-4
Library of Congress Control Number: 2011919059
Editors: Kinsey Lindgren and Ruth Dunbar
Cartoonist: Hugo Camacho
Graphic Designer: Darlene Dion Design
Cover Art: Shiloh Schroeder, Fusion Creative Works
Author Photo: Melissa Niu [Framed Show]
Printed in United States of America
Second Edition
For additional copies visit: PickAnotherCheckOutLaneHoney.com
Dedication
To our awesome kids, nothing brings us joy like you do, not even free detergent.
To our loving husbands, thanks for understanding
every time we disappear to the store for hours longer than promised.
To our parents, thanks for teaching us to work hard and be frugal, and for
never buying that pony we begged for after watching Wild Hearts Can’t be Broken.
To our readers, thanks for your support and for checking TheKrazyCouponLady.com
more times in a day than you check your kid’s diaper.
Oprah and Donald, when this coupon thing catches on and
you want a private lesson, have your people call our people
and we’ll see if we can squeeze you onto our calendar.
C :
ONTENTS
From the Authors
Introduction: Why Couponing is About to Change Your Life
MAKING THE CHANGE
Chapter 1: Meltdown to Miracle: Rainy Day Crisis Management
Chapter 2: The Mental Makeover: From Skeptic to Fanatic
Chapter 3: Revolutionize Your Routine: Develop Your Savings Strategies
STARTING THE STASH
Chapter 4: Coupon Fetish: Starting Your Coupon Collection
Chapter 5: The Coupon Process: From Creation to Clearinghouse
Chapter 6: Playing Fair: What You Should Know About Coupon Fraud
Chapter 7: My Other Baby: How to Build Your Coupon Binder
Chapter 8: Beat the Joneses! Build a Stockpile That Will Put Your Neighbors to
Shame!
Chapter 9: Sticker Sleuth: How to Spot those Rock Bottom Prices
TAKING THE REINS
Chapter 10: Timing is Everything: How and When to Use Your Coupons
Chapter 11: Befriending the Bigwigs: Learning Store Policies and Talking to Store
Managers
Chapter 12: Fight the Krazy: How Not to Go Nuts at Checkout
Chapter 13: Leading Your Family: Life as the CFO
Chapter 14: TheKrazyCouponLady.com: User Guide
BANKING THE CASH
Chapter 15: Couponing to Survive
Chapter 16: Couponing to Thrive
Chapter 17: Couponing to Live
Chapter 18: Couponing to Give
Chapter 19: Insider Tips: Secrets to Saving Big at 20 Stores Across the Nation
Glossary
Index
From the Authors
Are we the only people touting coupons as an easy way to save money? Are we deep-
pocketed VIPs straight from the Ivy League who have uncovered some exclusive
secret? Are we scarily smart or especially eloquent? Nope, nope, nope. We’re just two
motivated, hard-working, stay-at-home moms with a knack for saving piles of cash,
here to offer you some tried and true tips that will change the way you do just about
everything. The two of us have saved thousands of dollars by using coupons, and we’re
ready to help you do the same for your family. We’ve got this down to a science: an
addicting, rewarding, entertaining science. In this book we’ll share with you our
experiences: sometimes awful, sometimes embarrassing, often hilarious, so that you,
too, can learn to enjoy paying mere pennies of the retail price on just about everything.
We’re bold, sassy, and ready to tell it like it is so you’ll be prepared for the real deal.
Ready? With our help, you’re about to save a ton of money.
Keep in mind, anything worthwhile takes effort. Think of couponing a little like
surfing. There’s a definite learning curve, some new lingo to master, and a bit of
practice before you’re riding the waves like it’s second nature. You never just jump on
your board, catch a wave, and bust out a few “fat 360s”. It takes some practice and a
little work before you’re enjoying the highs of those awesome rides. You’ll never learn
to surf waiting idly for the perfect wave to carry your lazy rump to shore. You’ve got to
paddle hard and catch the waves as they come. And so it is with couponing. To learn,
you’ve got to jump right in and be willing to work hard. Be patient with yourself as you
learn the coupon lingo, find the coupons, and crunch the numbers. After just a few
shopping trips you’ll become competent, comfortable, and krazy as you enjoy the high
from saving big. No need to be an expert math whiz or to spend every second of your
free time with store ads and scissors. Our methods are simple and can be used by
anyone willing to give it a whirl. If you have this book in hand, you’re almost ready to
go. First, simply commit to some steady paddling and a little hard work, and soon
you’ll find yourself walking the aisles confidently, smiling as cashiers and people in
line behind you gasp in amazement as your total plummets. Before you know it, these
couponing methods will come naturally to you, and you’ll find yourself up at dawn,
itching to go to the store for the next krazy bargain.
One word about the text—throughout this book, we will use “I” to refer to one of our
particular experiences or to refer to experiences we’ve both had. With the exception of
a couple of places where we refer to one of us in particular, the stories and savings we
describe have typically happened to both of us. We decided to write as if we were one
person because we want Pick Another Checkout Lane, Honey to be a down-to-earth,
personal book that makes you feel as though you are learning from a friend and
actually in the grocery store shopping with us.
If you apply what we teach you, you will easily save at least 50% off your entire
grocery bill each month. If you’re interested in getting more for less in all aspects of
your shopping life, let’s do this. Ready to ride this krazy couponing wave with us? Here
we go. Visualize success. Picture yourself coupon-confident, with all the skills and
tools you need, proudly shopping those grocery aisles…oh, and don’t forget a pair of
heels.
Frugally yours,
Heather and Joanie
I
NTRODUCTION
Why Couponing
A C Y L
IS BOUT TO HANGE OUR IFE
Sometimes I wear high heels to the grocery store. I strut down the produce aisle and
smile at the sharp clickety-clack they make on the cold, square tiles. My coupon binder
weighs more than my firstborn (literally!), and it teeters precariously on my shopping
cart. As I make my way through the grocery store, a sense of empowerment fills me. I
feel comfortable and wise—at ease in this all too familiar place. I get closer to the
checkout counter and an odd sort of excited anxiety swells within because I’m about to
check out with a basketful of groceries and pay just a few dollars. The grocery store has
become my arena! It’s where I work my magic. It’s where I save my family hundreds
of dollars a month. It holds the secret to my success.
With coupons, miracles really DO happen! Like the time I purchased a year’s worth of
dishwasher detergent for the price of one box! Or the trip when the drugstore paid me
$25 in rebates plus a free movie ticket for purchasing over $100 worth of name-brand
products! And then there was the time I went shopping at the last minute for Halloween
candy and realized I had left my wallet at home. With coupons, the $2.00 in change I
scrounged from my car and an eight cent loan from a kind cashier, I toted over $20 of
Halloween candy home with a smile on my face! And you know I paid that cashier
back!
As a Krazy Coupon Lady, I’ve discovered how to slash my grocery budget by 70-80%.
I never pay for toothpaste, body wash or deodorant, (and NO, I’m not smelly)! I never
pay more than a dollar for a box of cereal. A quarter is all it costs for cake mix,
shampoo, fruit snacks and pasta sauce. In fact, I sometimes go to the store and walk
away with extra money in my pocket. That’s right. I’ve made money shopping. Most
recently on TLC’s show, Extreme Couponing, I showed the world I could take a $600
grocery bill and walk out the door paying only $2. I had four basketfuls of food for
only $2. It’s all possible. I know because I do it every single time I go to the store.
Okay, okay, if I’m being completely honest, I don’t usually save 99%. That trip was
extreme, even for me! It would be unrealistic for me to expect results like that every
trip! But I’m completely proud and satisfied when my savings are right around 70%!
How do you pronounce “coupon”?
Koo-pon or Kyoo-pon
Based on results of our poll, half of us say koo-pon and the other half say
kyoo-pon. Either pronunciation is correct!
I don’t coupon because I’m poor. I do it so I can decide where to spend my money
instead of letting retail prices decide for me. Couponing makes sense. Whether it’s to
pay off debt, make ends meet, save for a glam family vacation, or build a stockpile that
will have your neighbors wondering if your new addiction is shoplifting, it’s simply an
improvement on life.
Because of coupons my husband and I have each started retirement accounts. Because
of coupons my kids aren’t dressed in strictly second-hand clothes! In fact, some days
they look pretty cute. And this year we started saving for their educations. Because of
coupons I’m lucky enough to have my dream Pottery Barn dining table that my
husband NEVER would have allowed me to buy before I started using coupons (and
“YES!” I did use a coupon to buy it!) Because of coupons my family remains debt-free,
and my day-to-day life is conducted with greater ease and occasional indulgences,
which we did not have when we were dropping $500 at the grocery store every month.
I used to hate the feeling of standing at the cash register as (beep after
beep) my fate was decided. Now I love watching how high my bill goes
before it plummets down the cliff of coupons and Catalinas. As I stand
there, I know that I am in control, and that, miracle of miracles, I am
more than happy to pay the bottom line. It’s a reward for what I do daily.
I tell the cash register what is an acceptable amount. I am not his victim.
— Sarah
Whatever your reasons for beginning, I’m here to guarantee that The Krazy Coupon
Lady lifestyle will change your life. It’ll change the way you shop, the way you think
about being a consumer, the way you live. Once you go krazy, you’re krazy for life.
Every last Krazy Coupon Lady (or Guy!) will shop differently until she is ancient (and
she will be living the good life thanks to a posh retirement made possible by dedicated
couponification). After your eyes have been opened to the truth about paying retail
price, after the cloak is lifted and you finally understand how ridiculous it is to shop
any other way, you’ll be hooked for good.
One Krazy Coupon Lady wrote in:
Couponing has absolutely CHANGED my life! We always were living
paycheck to paycheck, and when we really sat down and looked at where
our money was going, we found we were spending $1,400/month on food
and other necessities! Yikes! In only six weeks of couponing, I was able
to bring that cost down to only $90!!! WOW! I’m hoping my new hobby
will allow us to feel a bit more relaxed about our finances. — Sarah Ray
Don’t worry. I’m no miser, applauding people for saving $0.30 on paper towels. I don’t
buy cases of soup I’ll never use just so I can get $0.50 off. Maybe that’s your