Table Of Content

01_515013 ffirs.qxp 5/21/07 6:22 PM Page i Personal Development A L L - I N - O N E FOR ‰ DUMmIES By Rhena Branch, Mike Bryant, Kate Burton, Peter Mabbutt, Jeni Mumford, Romilla Ready, and Rob Willson Edited by Gillian Burn 01_515013 ffirs.qxp 5/21/07 6:22 PM Page ii ® Personal Development All-in-One For Dummies Published by John Wiley & Sons, Ltd The Atrium Southern Gate Chichester West Sussex PO19 8SQ England E-mail (for orders and customer service enquires): 01_515013 ffirs.qxp 5/21/07 6:22 PM Page iii About the Authors Gillian Burn has over 25 years of experience in health and wellbeing. Her background covers nursing, midwifery, and health visiting, including experience working with the Flying Doctor Service in the Australian outback. Gillian has an MSc in Exercise and Health and is a qualified master practitioner in Neuro-linguistic Programming, time line therapy®, and in creating healthy environments. She is a licensed instructor for Mind Mapping® techniques and speed reading with Tony Buzan, and a licensed instructor in Body Control Pilates® with the Body Control Pilates Academy. Gillian is the Director of Health Circles Ltd (www.healthcircles.co.uk), providing training programmes and consultancy services focusing on improv- ing health and quality of life for individuals and companies. Her workshops focus on training people to use their mind and bodies to increase energy and performance. This includes nutrition and exercise advice, understanding the mind and body connection, creating balance, and techniques to increase cre- ativity and effectiveness. Gillian also provides life coaching to help clients create a compelling future to reach their full potential and peak performance. Gillian aims to practice what she preaches! She rows on the River Thames and enjoys swimming, walking, yoga, and pilates. Rhena Branch, MSc, Dip CBT, is an accredited CBT therapist and works with the Priory Hospital North London as a CBT therapist. She also has her own practice in north London and supervises on the Masters’ course at Goldsmith College, University of London. Mike Bryant is an African-American who has lived in England since 1984. Mike is a qualified psychiatric social worker, counsellor, and hypnotherapist and has also worked as an Information Technology and Project Manager. With extensive experience in both America and the United Kingdom, Mike has established a range of innovative mental health schemes in London as well as having provided senior service development consultancy to NHS Mental Health Trusts across England, Ireland, Scotland, and Wales as a Senior Consultant with the Sainsbury Centre for Mental Health (SCMH). While at SCMH, he published a range of papers and reports on mental health issues. Mike currently lives in London with his wife and family and has a private practice as a counsellor and as hypnotherapist. You can find more information about Mike’s practice at www.londonhypno.com. 01_515013 ffirs.qxp 5/21/07 6:22 PM Page iv Kate Burton is an NLP coach and trainer who enables individuals and organisations to focus their energy effectively. Her business career began in corporate advertising and marketing with Hewlett-Packard. Since then she has worked with many varied businesses across industries and cultures on how they can be great communicators. What she loves most is delivering custom-built training and coaching programmes. She thrives on supporting people in boosting their motivation, self-awareness and confidence. Her belief is that people all have unique talents, abilities and core values. The skill is about honouring them to the full. Peter Mabbutt is Director of Studies at the London College of Clinical Hypnosis (LCCH) and lectures throughout the UK and overseas to both lay students and medical practitioners. He is responsible for the development of the LCCH’s core courses and with his colleagues has introduced many new techniques and subjects to the curriculum, ensuring that it continues to meet the needs of the modern-day hypnotherapist. With a background in psychopharmacology Peter co-authored a range of papers on tranquilisers, anxiety, and learning and memory before training with the LCCH to become a hypnotherapist. Peter has a specialist interest in the mind-body connection, weight control, the treatment of trauma, and hypertension. Jeni Mumford is a coach and facilitator who applies whole-life coaching techniques to her work with people and within businesses. Before her own life-changing decision to become a coach, Jeni benefited from a 16-year career with the Hays group, spanning recruitment, sales operations, project management, and people development, where she was lucky enough to embark on a new challenging job role every 18 months or so. It was this experience of discovering that the grass is green wherever you are – if you take proper care of the lawn – that gave Jeni the conviction and motivation to build her purpose around inspiring people to attract and enjoy their own dream life and work. In her business Jeni uses best practice coaching techniques together with NLP, and is a licensed facilitator of Tetramap (a holistic model of behaviour) and Goal Mapping (a brain-friendly technique for identifying and maximising progress towards goals). She is addicted to learning and this helps her add value to her work with clients. But in her moments of brutal self-honesty Jeni will admit that quite a lot of the credit is down to the succession of cats who have owned her, from whom she has picked up a great deal about how to handle the ups and downs of life. One of the things Jeni likes best about being a coach is that she feels she always gets as much if not more out of the experience than her clients and she can’t thank them enough for the honour of seeing them move themselves from frustration to power. Honestly, it’s enough to make you want to write a book about it. You can find out more about Jeni and her business at: www.reachforstarfish.com. 01_515013 ffirs.qxp 5/21/07 6:22 PM Page v Romilla Ready is a Master Practitioner of Neuro-linguistic Programming, and is the director of Ready Solutions, which was founded in 1996. She runs professionally developed workshops across a range of areas and has trained clients in the UK and overseas, using her cross-cultural skills to build rapport between different nationalities. Romilla has been interviewed on local radio and has had articles on stress management and applications of NLP published in the press. Rob Willson, BSc, MSc, Dip SBHS, has worked for the Priory Hospital North London for a number of years as a CBT therapist. Rob also teaches and supervises trainee therapists at Goldsmith’s College, University of London, and has his own practice in north London. His first book was Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (Constable & Robinson, 2005), co-written with Dr David Veale. Rob has done numerous newspaper and radio interviews about CBT. More rarely he’s appeared on television discussing understanding and treating body image problems. His particular interests include the research and treatment of obsessional problems, and applying CBT in group and self-help formats. 01_515013 ffirs.qxp 5/21/07 6:22 PM Page vi Publisher’s Acknowledgements We’re proud of this book; please send us your comments through our Dummies online registration form located at www.dummies.com/register/. Some of the people who helped bring this book to market include the following: Acquisitions, Editorial, and Composition Services Media Development Project Coordinator: Jennifer Theriot Project Editor: Daniel Mersey Layout and Graphics: Claudia Bell, Content Editor: Steve Edwards Stacie Brooks, Joyce Haughey, Barbara Moore, Heather Ryan Commissioning Editor: Alison Yates Proofreaders: Susan Moritz, Brian H. Walls Text Splicer: Helen Heyes Indexer: Aptara Executive Editor: Jason Dunne Wiley Bicentennial Logo: Richard J. Pacifico Executive Project Editor: Martin Tribe Cover Photos: © Bernd Kohlhas/zefa/Corbis Cartoons: Rich Tennant (www.the5thwave.com) Publishing and Editorial for Consumer Dummies Diane Graves Steele, Vice President and Publisher, Consumer Dummies Joyce Pepple, Acquisitions Director, Consumer Dummies Kristin A. Cocks, Product Development Director, Consumer Dummies Michael Spring, Vice President and Publisher, Travel Kelly Regan, Editorial Director, Travel Publishing for Technology Dummies Andy Cummings, Vice President and Publisher, Dummies Technology/General User Composition Services Gerry Fahey, Vice President of Production Services Debbie Stailey, Director of Composition Services 02_515013 ftoc.qxp 5/21/07 6:22 PM Page vii Contents at a Glance Introduction .................................................................1 Book I: Essential Concepts of Personal Development........7 Chapter 1: Exploring the Key Themes of NLP.................................................................9 Chapter 2: Understanding Cognitive Behavioural Therapy........................................19 Chapter 3: Examining Hypnotherapy.............................................................................27 Chapter 4: Introducing Life Coaching ............................................................................33 Book II: Neuro-linguistic Programming ........................45 Chapter 1: Taking Charge of Your Life ...........................................................................47 Chapter 2: Creating Rapport ...........................................................................................67 Chapter 3: Reaching Beyond the Words People Say....................................................87 Chapter 4: Exploring the Amazing Power of Your Senses .........................................109 Chapter 5: Opening the Toolkit ....................................................................................129 Chapter 6: Uncovering Your Secret Programs Behind Your Habits and Behaviours .........................................................................145 Book III: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.....................161 Chapter 1: Correcting Your Thinking ...........................................................................163 Chapter 2: Overcoming Obstacles to Progress...........................................................191 Chapter 3: Putting CBT into Action..............................................................................221 Chapter 4: Taking a Fresh Look at Your Past ..............................................................249 Chapter 5: Setting Your Sights on Goals ......................................................................273 Book IV: Hypnotherapy .............................................297 Chapter 1: Taking a Separate View of Yourself ...........................................................299 Chapter 2: Considering How Hypnotherapy Can Help ..............................................319 Chapter 3: Feeling Good ................................................................................................343 Chapter 4: Touching on Body Matters.........................................................................359 Chapter 5: Expanding the Reach of Hypnotherapy....................................................383 Chapter 6: Practising Self-Hypnosis .............................................................................401 02_515013 ftoc.qxp 5/21/07 6:22 PM Page viii Book V: Life Coaching...............................................415 Chapter 1: Introducing Your Coaching Journey .........................................................417 Chapter 2: Visualising Your Whole-Life Goals.............................................................431 Chapter 3: Becoming Your Best Self.............................................................................451 Chapter 4: Focusing on the Elements of Your Life .....................................................469 Chapter 5: Physical, Mental, and Emotional Wellbeing .............................................487 Chapter 6: Developing and Growing ............................................................................507 Appendix: Personal Development Resources ................525 Index .......................................................................531 02_515013 ftoc.qxp 5/21/07 6:22 PM Page ix Table of Contents Introduction..................................................................1 About This Book...............................................................................................1 Conventions Used in This Book .....................................................................2 What You’re Not to Read.................................................................................2 Foolish Assumptions .......................................................................................2 How This Book Is Organized...........................................................................3 Book I: Essential Concepts of Personal Development .......................3 Book II: Neuro-linguistic Programming................................................3 Book III: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.............................................3 Book IV: Hypnotherapy..........................................................................4 Book V: Life Coaching ............................................................................4 Appendix .................................................................................................4 Icons Used in This Book..................................................................................4 Where to Go from Here....................................................................................5 Book I: Essential Concepts of Personal Development ........7 Chapter 1: Exploring the Key Themes of NLP . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 What is NLP?...................................................................................................10 A few quick definitions .......................................................................11 Where it all started and where it’s going...........................................11 The Pillars of NLP: Straight up and Straightforward .................................12 Models and Modelling ...................................................................................14 NLP Presuppositions .....................................................................................14 The map is not the territory ...............................................................15 People respond according to their map of the world......................15 There is no failure, only feedback ......................................................16 The meaning of the communication is the response it elicits........16 If what you are doing is not working, do something different........17 You cannot not communicate.............................................................17 Individuals have all the resources they need to achieve their desired outcomes.................................................17 The mind and body are interlinked and affect each other .............18 Final words on presuppositions .........................................................18 Chapter 2: Understanding Cognitive Behavioural Therapy . . . . . . . . . 19 Defining CBT ...................................................................................................20 Combining science, philosophy, and behaviour ..............................21 Progressing from problems to goals ..................................................21 02_515013 ftoc.qxp 5/21/07 6:22 PM Page x x Personal Development All-in-One For Dummies Making the Thought–Feeling Link................................................................22 Emphasising the meanings you attach to events.............................22 Acting out ..............................................................................................23 Learning Your ABCs .......................................................................................23 Characterising CBT........................................................................................25 Chapter 3: Examining Hypnotherapy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27 Understanding the Terms .............................................................................27 Getting to grips with the basics of hypnotherapy ...........................28 Discovering the differences between hypnosis and hypnotherapy ...........................................................28 Sliding into trance ................................................................................29 Examining states of mind ....................................................................30 Finding Help with Hypnosis..........................................................................32 Chapter 4: Introducing Life Coaching . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33 A Brief Definition of Life Coaching...............................................................33 Living Your Ideal Life .....................................................................................34 Getting ready for change .....................................................................35 Presenting the passport for your coaching journey........................37 Tuning In to Your Inner Coach......................................................................37 Introducing your split personality! ....................................................38 Giving yourself the gift of your own good opinion ..........................39 Turning up the volume on the voice of your inner coach ..............40 Identifying Your Current Priorities for Coaching .......................................41 Book II: Neuro-linguistic Programming ........................45 Chapter 1: Taking Charge of Your Life . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47 Taking Control of Your Memory ...................................................................47 The Path to Excellence..................................................................................49 Knowing what you want ......................................................................49 Creating well-formed outcomes..........................................................50 The 4-point formula for success.........................................................51 Spinning the Wheel of Life...................................................................51 Understanding The Unconscious Mind.......................................................53 Conscious and unconscious ...............................................................54 Your quirky unconscious mind...........................................................55 The Reticular Activating System (RAS) – Your Tracking System.............55 How Memories Are Created..........................................................................57 Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) ............................................58 Phobias ..................................................................................................58 The NLP fast phobia cure....................................................................58 Beliefs and Values Make a Difference ..........................................................59 The power of beliefs ............................................................................60 Values.....................................................................................................62 Daydreaming Your Future Reality ...............................................................65