MySpace for Moms and Dads: A Guide to Understanding the Risks and the Rewards

228 Pages·2007·2.353 MB·English

by  Connie Neal

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Also by Connie Neal
Dancing in the Arms of God
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MySpace for Moms and Dads
Copyright © 2007 by Connie Neal
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the
required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the
text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down loaded,
decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval
system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter
invented, without the express written permission of Zondervan.
AER Edition January 2009 ISBN: 978-0-310-54048-9(cid:13)(cid:10)
Requests for information should be addressed to:
Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Neal, C. W. (Connie W.), 1958 –
MySpace for moms and dads : a guide to understanding the risks and the rewards / Connie
Neal.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and indexes.
ISBN-13: 978-0-310-27743-9
ISBN-10: 0-310-27743-4
1. Internet and teenagers. 2. Online social networks. 3. Myspace.com. I. Title.
HQ799.2.I5N43 2007
004.69 — dc22 2006039554
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International
Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of
Zondervan. All rights reserved.
Internet addresses (websites, blogs, etc.) and telephone numbers printed in this book are offered as
a resource to you. These are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement on the part of
Zondervan, nor do we vouch for the content of these sites and numbers for the life of this book.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or
transmitted in any form or by any means — electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other —
except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.
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Contents
Acknowledgments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .7
Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .9
Part 1
The MySpace Revolution
1. What Is MySpace? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13
2. The World Has Changed . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21
3. Why Teens Love MySpace . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .27
4. Who’s in Charge of Safety on MySpace? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .34
Part 2
Exploring MySpace:
An Introduction to the Site
5. Welcome to the MySpace Visitor’s Center . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .49
6. How to Find What You Are Searching For . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .58
Part 3
How Teens Use MySpace
7. Communicating with Friends and Peers on MySpace . . . . . . . . 75
8. Self-Expression on MySpace . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .88
9. Going Places and Doing Things on MySpace . . . . . . . . . . . . . .103
10. Engaging the Wider World: Forums
and Chat Rooms on MySpace . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .108
11. Using MySpace to Fulfill Five Developmental Needs . . . . . . . 117
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Part 4
Parental Decisions about MySpace
12. Growing Your Teen’s Independence Using MySpace . . . . . . . . 127
13. Should My Teen Use MySpace? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 138
14. Basic Safety Tips for MySpace . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 150
15. Risks versus Rewards: Deciding Where to Draw the Lines . . .160
16. A Safety Checklist for Busy Parents . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 170
17. MySpace for Families of Faith . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 177
Epilogue . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 185
Notes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .189
Glossary of Terms . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 193
Cyber-Safety Organizations and Resources . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .207
Books and Other Resources . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 211
About the Publisher . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 225
Share Your Thoughts . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 226
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A
Acknowledgments
It’s nice to be able to sincerely thank one’s children. Here I owe my
initial attention to this subject to my two teenagers, Taylor and Haley.
I thank our friends and relatives in the Pacific Northwest, whose con-
cerns and questions about MySpace alerted me to the need for such
a book when we visited them in the summer of 2006. Thanks to my
family, coworkers, and friends who gave encouragement, prayers, and
their two-cents’ worth on this topic — particularly to Bud and Dianna
Pitts along with their kids and grandkids (Sheila and Josh), to Velma
Dingeman along with her kids and grandkids, and to Sherrie Lorance,
who worked as my research assistant on this project.
Thanks also goes to the parents and families who opened up about
their concerns on the subject, particularly: Julie and Piper Adams,
Ashley Chase and her father, Curt Fetter, my husband, Patrick, and
the parents who cared enough to come out on a Wednesday night to
discuss their teens and MySpace at First Presbyterian Church of Ros-
eville, California. I am also grateful to the senior pastor there, Dr. Jim
Barstow, for his excellent and timely sermon on interaction between
the five living generations. It affirmed the need for those of us over
thirty to actively commit ourselves to staying connected to those in
the Mosaic Generation. Thanks also for the use of his laptop computer
early on in the writing.
I am grateful for two very informative and helpful conferences I
attended during the writing of this book, and for all the work that
went into assembling the experts and interested parties I was able to
interview. The first was the Internet Evangelism Coalition’s annual
conference in Chicago on September 1, 2006, which focused on Chris-
tians and MySpace. There I learned of the many Christ ian “alternative
7
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8 MySpace for Moms and Dads
MySpace” sites, met the founders of Body of Christ Online (boc.org)
and MyPraize.com. I was also able to listen carefully to the debate on
this topic by Chris tian leaders involved in using the internet for minis-
try and family purposes.
The second was the California Cyber-Safety Summit presented by
Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger and the California Department of
Consumer Affairs (conveniently assembled in Sacramento, near my
home). My immense thanks go to all the excellent presenters, keynote
speakers, workshop leaders, organizers, and exhibitors who assembled
October 18, 2006, for this summit. I especially thank those who took
time to talk with me, answer my questions, and share information used
in this book. These include: Officer Jan Hoganson of the Sacramento
Sherriff’s Department; Monique Nelson and Katie Canton of Web
Wise Kids; Mark Klass of KlassKids Foundation; Larry Magid and Anne
Collier, who authored MySpace Unraveled (a more computer-focused
guide for parents that you may find helpful as a follow-up to this book);
Joanne McNabb, Chief of California Office of Privacy Protection; Parry
Aftab, Esq., and her Teen Angels of WiredSafety.org; Nancy E. Willard
M.S., J.D. executive director of the Center for Safe and Responsible
Internet Use; Stephen Kline, Chief Safety Officer for Xanga.com and
former cyber-crime prosecutor; and Simrin Mangat, Manager of Safety
and Security at Fox Interactive Media (parent company of MySpace).
The team at Zondervan has long been one of my favorite and most
highly respected publishers. The editorial team led by Sandra Vander
Zicht did stellar work (which had to be done at light speed!) to get this
book ready for the public while it is still needed. I am deeply grateful
to the editors — especially to Lori Vanden Bosch, who did such a fine
job on the content editing — and to the copy editors and designers, who
worked together to bring this book to you in a style that fits your needs.
Each one played a crucial part. Thanks also to the team in marketing
and publicity, who worked to let you know this book is here for you,
and to all who helped get it into your hands so that you can use it to
keep your teen safe and enhance your family’s use of social networking
sites on the internet.
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