Making the Connection: Strategies to Build Effective Personal Relationships PDF
Preview Making the Connection: Strategies to Build Effective Personal Relationships
Making the Connection Strategies to Build Effective Personal Relationships (Collection) Jonathan Herring Sandy Allgeier Richard Templar Samuel Barondes Vice President, Publisher: Tim Moore Associate Publisher and Director of Marketing: Amy Neidlinger © 2013 by Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as FTPress Delivers Upper Saddle River, New Jersey 07458 Company and product names mentioned herein are the trademarks or registered trademarks of their respective owners. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, in any form or by any means, without permission in writing from the publisher. ISBN-10: 0-13-334612-9 ISBN-13: 978-0-13-334612-1 For more information, please contact us at [email protected] Contents How to Argue: Powerfully, Persuasively, Positively Introduction Part 1: The ten golden rules of argument 1 Golden Rule 1: Be prepared 2 Golden Rule 2: When to argue, when to walk away 3 Golden Rule 3: What you say and how you say it 4 Golden Rule 4: Listen and listen again 5 Golden Rule 5: Excel at responding to arguments 6 Golden Rule 6: Watch out for crafty tricks 7 Golden Rule 7: Develop the skills for arguing in public 8 Golden Rule 8: Be able to argue in writing 9 Golden Rule 9: Be great at resolving deadlock 10 Golden Rule 10: Maintain relationships Part 2: Situations where arguments commonly arise 11 How to argue with those you love 12 How to argue with your children 13 Arguments at work 14 How to complain 15 How to get what you want from an expert 16 Arguing when you know you’re in the wrong 17 Arguing again and again 18 Doormats 19 How to be a good winner 20 To recap The Personal Credibility Factor: How to Get It, Keep It, and Get It Back, (If You’ve Lost It) Introduction Part I. The Three Secrets to Personal Credibility Tell Everyone: There Are Actually Three Secrets! Reading for All It’s Worth... Chapter 1. Secret #1: Forget Power, Position, Status, and Other Such Nonsense Same Ideas, But Very Different Results It’s What You Do, Not What You Say Secret #1 Applies to Other Life Experiences Credibility in Parenting Chapter 2. Secret #2: I Can See Right Through You The Human Invisible Fence Authenticity: We Know It When It’s Not There The Silent Alarm System It All Begins with Accepting Our Own Human Warts Invisible Fences Don’t All Look Alike Authentic Results, Even During Tough Times Taking It Personally A Final Word of Encouragement Chapter 3. Secret #3: The Decision to Suspend Judgment A Frustrating Situation for Dad Hold Your Thoughts...Just for a While Thinking Through Your Tendencies The Thought Process for Suspending Judgment For Personal Credibility: Know the Secrets! Part II. Stepping Up with Credibility: Seven Steps Influence Credibility Understanding Influence and Personal Credibility Chapter 4. Step #1: Know Your “Stuff” Learning As She Goes How Do I Make Sure That I Know My Stuff? Gain an Appetite for Knowledge—Consider It Credibility Survival! Read! Seek Wise Counsel Know the Enemy (Its Name Is Apathy!) Chapter 5. Step #2: Keep Commitments Commitments Break Down and Invisible Fences Go Up Keeping Small Commitments Adds Up to Big Credibility Commitment Difference Makers Chapter 6. Step #3: Honor Confidences and Avoid Gossip With the Best of Intentions The Truth Behind the Gossip Chapter 7. Step #4: Know Yourself—the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly! She Knew Herself and Understood Third Time Is the Charm Section 1: Ideas or Evidence? Ideas Evidence Section 2: Direct or Diplomatic? Direct Diplomatic Section 3: Retreat or Engage? Retreat Engage Section 4: Options or Plans? Options Plans Chapter 8. Step #5: Choose to Value Others—the Good, and Yes, Even the Bad and the Ugly! Ideas or Evidence? Direct or Diplomatic? Retreat or Engage? Options or Plans? Some Final Thoughts on Style Differences and Personal Credibility Chapter 9. Step #6: Ask More and Listen Most Tip #1: Stop and Connect Tip #2: Restate or Paraphrase Tip #3: Ask, Ask, Ask... Chapter 10. Step #7: Create Credible Interactions Interaction Technique: Maximize Your Agreements Interaction Technique: Create Productive Disagreements Scenario #1: There’s More Than One Way to Look at Numbers Scenario #2: She Was Always Late! Interaction Technique: Express Your Thoughts with Credibility Who Am I Speaking To? What Am I Saying? How Do I Say It Effectively? Part III. Face the Truth and Begin Anew Chapter 11. The Truth Shall Set You Free—When You Avoid Truth Traps! Trap #1: The Little White Lie Trap #2: The Need to Be “In the Know” Trap #3: Loose Lips Sink Ships... and Our Credibility Trap #4: Don’t Worry...It’s Done! Truth Trap Tips #1: Make the Decision to Be a Truthful Person #2: Don’t Overexplain or Create Excuses—Just Stick with the Facts! #3: If You Are Clueless...Say So! #4: The Truth Doesn’t Need Stretching—It Just Needs Doing Chapter 12. Credibility: I’ve Lost It—Can I Rebuild It? Rebuilding Is a Process, Not an Event A Simple Statement: “You Were Right” “I Meant Well, but I Blew It!” From Problems to Progress Chapter 13. Rebuilding: One Step at a Time Step 1: Objectively Acknowledge Your Own Actions Step 2: Identify Your Options for the Next Action Step 3: Verbally Take Ownership with Those Impacted Step 4: Manage Your Expectations Step 5: Share What You Learn from the Rebuilding Process Starting Over...Every Day Tapping Into the Power of the Three Secrets to Personal Credibility Stepping Up with Credibility: Seven Steps Everyone Can Take to Increase Personal Credibility and Impact How to Get What You Want: Without Having to Ask Introduction PART 1 Be the Kind of Person Who Gets What They Want Know What You Want Know Why You Want It Know How Much You Want It Want What You Get Don’t Be a Fuzzy Thinker Know What It Takes Work Out Who You Need on Your Side Break Big Ambitions into Chunks Set Up Some Milestones Celebrate Every Step Write It All Down Analyze Your Sticking Points Set Your Deadlines Check Out the Back Door Don’t Make Excuses Think Positive Don’t Hang Out with Naysayers Say It Out Loud Believe in Yourself Expect Ups and Downs Enjoy It When You Get It PART 2 Be the Kind of Person People Want to Say Yes To Don’t Fake It—Have Real Confidence Sound Confident Look Confident Learn to Say No Give Them an Alternative Be a Broken Record Be Sure You’re Sorry Say What You Mean Think Before You Speak Be Prepared to Disagree Control Yourself Express Yourself Don’t Use Emotional Blackmail...
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