Lesson 6 Anger Management – On-Line Common Irrational

56 Pages·2010·3.77 MB·English

Lesson 6
Anger Management – On-Line
Common Irrational Beliefs---You have two more
lessons and then the Final Exam.
• Circle the three main Irrational Beliefs that trigger your negative emotions:
• 1. Blame Proneness: People including me ought not do wrong.
• 2. Personal Idealism: The world and other people must be fair and just.
• 3. Discomfort Anxiety: I ought to be comfortable and without pain at all
times.
• 4. Frustration Reactivity: I cannot stand it when things or people are not the
way I insist they be.
• 5. Problem Avoidance: It is easier to avoid rather than face life’s difficulties.
• 6. Demand for Approval: I must be loved, approved of and respected by
significant people in my life.
• 7. High Self-Expectations: I should succeed, achieve and be competent
because I am a failure as a person when I fail or do poorly.
• 8. Psychological Hypochondria: When I am upset, I am afraid I will go crazy.
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Common Irrational Beliefs, cont.
9. Over caring: I should become upset over my and others’
problems.
10. Anxious Over concern: I should worry when faced with
uncertainly or potential danger.
11. Perfectionism: There is a right, perfect solution to every
problem and I must find it.
12, Helplessness For Change: My past is the cause of my present
problems so I cannot change.
13. Emotional Control: My feelings are caused by events or other
people, so to be happy, I must control them.
14. Dependency: I need someone or something stronger than
myself on who to depend because I cannot cope with life by
myself.
List 5 irrational beliefs that you have and how you can change. Write a one page
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essay and discuss with counselor.
The Addictive Insanity
• We know that we are doing the same thing
over and over, expecting different results.
• Continuing same patterns of behavior and
returning to past self-defeating thinking is a
perfect example of insanity.
• This mind-set can derail your recovery. You
will be justifying your explosive behavior.
What type of mind-set do you have and has it ever derailed you? Write a one
page essay and discuss with counselor.
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Negative Emotions
• Before explosion would erase any discomfort
with personal responsibility or dealing with
unpleasant emotions.
• In recovery, we may find ourselves automatically
reacting or behaving negatively to familiar
situations, such as being behind a slow driver or
having to wait in line when everyone should
know we are in a hurry.
• (What negative emotions do you have that will create an explosion released
in anger? Write a one page essay and discuss with counselor.)
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Our behavior influences us.
These automatic reactions are
powerful, and we are apt to see
them as simply part of us.
We may believe that they are
unchangeable, but changing
these beliefs is possible.
We need to change our actions
and our thinking. This is a long
process.
We need to practice healthy
actions and responses
frequently before our deep-
seated beliefs start to change.
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Ten Self-Defeating Behaviors
• No. 1: I should never be uncomfortable—physically or
emotionally.
• No. 2: I should never be inconvenienced.
• No. 3: Life should be fair!
• No. 4: Unrealistic expectations of Life set us up for
disappointment.
• No. 5: I should never have to ask for help.
• No. 6: Rules are for others.
• No. 7: Other people, places and things govern how I
feel.
• No. 8: I focus on external things to feel good.
• No. 9: Everyone should respect me and approve of me.
• No. 10: I can avoid responsibility. I boast about how
clever I am for taking the easy way out.
What self-defeating behaviors do you have in your life? Write a one
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page essay and be ready to discuss with the counselor.
Common Self-Defeating Beliefs
No. 1:
I should never be
uncomfortable—
physically or
emotionally.
Life should be pain
free. I must never feel
angry, anxious, or
depressed. Pain is
unacceptable and
should be suppressed
as quickly as possible.
What are your expectations of life? Write three paragraphs and discuss with the
counselor.
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Not being uncomfortable…
• This kind of thinking is common for us. Quick
relief from pain use to come in the form of
alcohol and other drugs.
• If we don’t, we are constantly angry and
blaming others for our problems. We feel we
are being treated unfairly. This prompts us to
use chemicals to change how we feel.
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No. 2: I should never be
inconvenienced.
• I can’t tolerate being
inconvenienced by
other people. No one
should ever make a
mistake. Everyone
should take my feelings
into consideration. I
must have things my
own way!
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King Baby Complex
• “I want what I want when I want it and I
want it now.”
• Our egos get in the way. We start to believe that we
are special. We deny the reality that life is
frequently inconvenient. We are filled with anger
and become impatient and resentful when others
don’t do things the way we believe they should.
• We are unforgiving of mistakes. We have lost our
serenity.
• (
What King Baby complexes do you have? Write a one page essay and
discuss with counselor.)
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