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Lesson 6 Anger Management – On-Line Common Irrational PDF

56 Pages·2010·3.77 MB·English
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Preview Lesson 6 Anger Management – On-Line Common Irrational

Lesson 6 Anger Management – On-Line Common Irrational Beliefs---You have two more lessons and then the Final Exam. • Circle the three main Irrational Beliefs that trigger your negative emotions: • 1. Blame Proneness: People including me ought not do wrong. • 2. Personal Idealism: The world and other people must be fair and just. • 3. Discomfort Anxiety: I ought to be comfortable and without pain at all times. • 4. Frustration Reactivity: I cannot stand it when things or people are not the way I insist they be. • 5. Problem Avoidance: It is easier to avoid rather than face life’s difficulties. • 6. Demand for Approval: I must be loved, approved of and respected by significant people in my life. • 7. High Self-Expectations: I should succeed, achieve and be competent because I am a failure as a person when I fail or do poorly. • 8. Psychological Hypochondria: When I am upset, I am afraid I will go crazy. 4/28/2010 1:27 PM (c)2006evagrgorycounseling 1 Common Irrational Beliefs, cont. 9. Over caring: I should become upset over my and others’ problems. 10. Anxious Over concern: I should worry when faced with uncertainly or potential danger. 11. Perfectionism: There is a right, perfect solution to every problem and I must find it. 12, Helplessness For Change: My past is the cause of my present problems so I cannot change. 13. Emotional Control: My feelings are caused by events or other people, so to be happy, I must control them. 14. Dependency: I need someone or something stronger than myself on who to depend because I cannot cope with life by myself. List 5 irrational beliefs that you have and how you can change. Write a one page 4/28/2010 1:27 PM (c)2006evagrgorycounseling 2 essay and discuss with counselor. The Addictive Insanity • We know that we are doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. • Continuing same patterns of behavior and returning to past self-defeating thinking is a perfect example of insanity. • This mind-set can derail your recovery. You will be justifying your explosive behavior. What type of mind-set do you have and has it ever derailed you? Write a one page essay and discuss with counselor. 4/28/2010 1:27 PM (c)2006evagrgorycounseling 3 Negative Emotions • Before explosion would erase any discomfort with personal responsibility or dealing with unpleasant emotions. • In recovery, we may find ourselves automatically reacting or behaving negatively to familiar situations, such as being behind a slow driver or having to wait in line when everyone should know we are in a hurry. • (What negative emotions do you have that will create an explosion released in anger? Write a one page essay and discuss with counselor.) 4/28/2010 1:27 PM (c)2006evagrgorycounseling 4 Our behavior influences us. These automatic reactions are powerful, and we are apt to see them as simply part of us. We may believe that they are unchangeable, but changing these beliefs is possible. We need to change our actions and our thinking. This is a long process. We need to practice healthy actions and responses frequently before our deep- seated beliefs start to change. 4/28/2010 1:27 PM (c)2006evagrgorycounseling 5 Ten Self-Defeating Behaviors • No. 1: I should never be uncomfortable—physically or emotionally. • No. 2: I should never be inconvenienced. • No. 3: Life should be fair! • No. 4: Unrealistic expectations of Life set us up for disappointment. • No. 5: I should never have to ask for help. • No. 6: Rules are for others. • No. 7: Other people, places and things govern how I feel. • No. 8: I focus on external things to feel good. • No. 9: Everyone should respect me and approve of me. • No. 10: I can avoid responsibility. I boast about how clever I am for taking the easy way out. What self-defeating behaviors do you have in your life? Write a one 4/28/2010 1:27 PM (c)2006evagrgorycounseling 6 page essay and be ready to discuss with the counselor. Common Self-Defeating Beliefs No. 1: I should never be uncomfortable— physically or emotionally. Life should be pain free. I must never feel angry, anxious, or depressed. Pain is unacceptable and should be suppressed as quickly as possible. What are your expectations of life? Write three paragraphs and discuss with the counselor. 4/28/2010 1:27 PM (c)2006evagrgorycounseling 7 Not being uncomfortable… • This kind of thinking is common for us. Quick relief from pain use to come in the form of alcohol and other drugs. • If we don’t, we are constantly angry and blaming others for our problems. We feel we are being treated unfairly. This prompts us to use chemicals to change how we feel. 4/28/2010 1:27 PM (c)2006evagrgorycounseling 8 No. 2: I should never be inconvenienced. • I can’t tolerate being inconvenienced by other people. No one should ever make a mistake. Everyone should take my feelings into consideration. I must have things my own way! 4/28/2010 1:27 PM (c)2006evagrgorycounseling 9 King Baby Complex • “I want what I want when I want it and I want it now.” • Our egos get in the way. We start to believe that we are special. We deny the reality that life is frequently inconvenient. We are filled with anger and become impatient and resentful when others don’t do things the way we believe they should. • We are unforgiving of mistakes. We have lost our serenity. • ( What King Baby complexes do you have? Write a one page essay and discuss with counselor.) 4/28/2010 1:27 PM (c)2006evagrgorycounseling 10

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Personal Idealism: The world and other people must be fair and just. • 3. Discomfort Anxiety: I ought to be .. >Zoloft (sertraline). • >Paxil (paroxetine).
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