Leaving home : the art of separating from your difficult family

169 Pages·2005·0.59 MB·English

by  Celani

L E AV I N G H O M E

DAVID P. CELANI
L E AV I N G H O M E
The Artof Separating from Your DifficultFamily
COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY PRESS
NEW YORK
Columbia University Press
Publishers Since 1893
New York Chichester, West Sussex
Copyright © 2005Columbia University Press
All rights reserved
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Celani, David P.
Leaving home : the art of separating from your difficult family / David P. Celani.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographic references and index
ISBN 0–231–13476–2 (cloth : alk. paper)—ISBN 0–231–50912–X (electronic)
1. Adult children—United States. 2. Adult children of dysfunctional families—United States.
3. Separation (Psychology) 4. Self-help techniques. I. Title.
HQ799.97.U5C45 2005
306.874—dc22 2004051980
Columbia University Press books are printed on permanent
and durable acid-free paper.
Printed in the United States of America
c 10987654321
p 10987654321
For Barbara

CONTENTS
Acknowledgments ix
Introduction 1
1. The Building Blocks of Our Personality 13
2. How Our Defenses Play
“Hide and Seek” with Reality 51
3. Staying Home 75
4. Preparing for Change 93
5. Leaving Home 125
References 153
Index 155

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I wish to express my appreciation to the many individuals who of-
fered help and support during the writing of this book. Special
thanks goes to Stephen Krupa, who offered an insightful critique of
the work as well as enthusiasm and encouragement. Thanks also
goes to Robert Barasch, Ph.D., who likewise was helpful with his
comments and suggestions. I am also indebted to my two editors,
Leonora Gibson at Wesleyan University Press, who offered direc-
tion and support at the outset of the project, and John Michel at
Columbia University Press, who brought the project to fruition.
Finally, I again express my appreciation to my wife, Veronica, who
has been a constant source of encouragement throughout my career.