Table Of Content

L NLP EADING WITH ESSENTIAL LEADERSHIP SKILLS FOR INFLUENCING AND MANAGING PEOPLE Joseph O’Connor PerfectBound An e-book from HarperCollins Publishers 77-85 Fulham Palace Road Hammersmith, London W6 8JB Thorson edition published 2001 ISBN 0-7225-3767-0 Copyright (c) Joseph O’ Connor 2001 Joseph O’ Connor asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work Illustrations by Jennie Dooge Adobe eBook Reader edition v 1. May 2001 ISBN 0-00-713130-5 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be repro- duced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers. www.fireandwater.com/ebooks prelims 15/10/98 12:10 pm Page v CONTENTS WHAT IS NLP? v THE THIRTEEN PRESUPPOSITIONS viii NLP ON THE INTERNET xi INTRODUCTION: THE LEADER’S JOURNEY xiv 1. STARTING THE JOURNEY 1 first steps 1 vision 7 sharing your vision 11 leaders in perspective 17 2. LEADERSHIP SUBSTANCE, STYLE AND SHADOW 25 the three pillars of leadership 27 leadership style 36 the shadow side 40 pacing and leading 45 your leadership credentials 48 3. VISION AND VALUES 55 values 55 organizational vision 61 4. ON THE ROAD 71 motivation 71 rewards and penalties 76 values and integrity 84 signposts to the future 87 reluctance 89 the dark side of change 95 5. GUIDES AND RULES OF THE ROAD 101 mentors 101 unpacking skills 107 leaders and losers 112 balancing task and relationship 117 the rules of the road 121 Roman law and common law 121 learning 127 solutions and resolutions 132 organizational learning 134 6. GAMES AND GUARDIANS 139 rules, laws and boundaries 139 trust 141 the prisoner’s dilemma 148 games and meta games 152 beliefs and assumptions 155 the channel of experience 163 7. CHANGE AND CHALLENGE 167 systems thinking 169 perspectives 171 cause and effect 179 thinking in circles 181 boundaries and horizons 186 blame and responsibility 188 change and balance 192 Scylla and Charybdis 195 the edge of chaos 198 the power law 201 8. CONCLUSION 207 APPENDIX: RESOURCES 213 training and consultancy 213 BIBLIOGRAPHY 215 ABOUT THE AUTHOR 217 WHAT IS NLP? Neuro-Linguistic programming is the study of our subjective experience; how we create what passes for reality in our minds. It deals with questions like: • How do you do what you do? • How is it possible that two people can talk and each have a different idea of what was agreed? • How come some people are talented and seem more natu- rally gifted than others? • How do we create our feelings of happiness and sadness? NLP also studies brilliance and quality – how outstanding individuals and organisations get their outstanding results. The methods can be taught to others so they too can get the same class of results. This is called modelling. NLP has grown by adding practical tools and methods gen- erated by modelling exceptional people. These tools are used internationally in sports, business, training, sales, law and education. NLP is the systemic study of human communication. NLP has its own presuppositions or beliefs – principles of action. What is NLP? Modelling “NLP is an accelerated learning strategy for the detection and utilisation of patterns in the world.” John Grinder Modelling is the basis of NLP, and is the process that created all the existing NLP techniques. Modelling a skill means finding out how someone does a skill so that it can be taught to others, allowing them to get the same sort of results. Modelling has one basic principle: If one person can do something then it is possible to model it and teach it to others. The first NLP model was the Meta Model (modelled from Virginia Satir and Fritz Perls and refined using ideas from Chomsky’s Transformational Grammar). The second model was representational systems and the third was the Milton Model (modelled from Milton Erickson). A model is an edited, distorted and generalised copy of the original and therefore there can never be complete. A model is not in any sense ‘true’: it can be judged only by whether it works or doesn’t work. If it works, it allows another person to get the same class of results as the original person from whom the model was taken. You can never get exactly the same results as the person you model, because everyone is different, each learner will assemble the modelled elements in their own unique way. Modelling does not create clones – it gives you the opportu- nity to go beyond your present limitations. Modelling outstanding people created the basic patterns of NLP. For NLP to survive as a discipline, as a body of knowl- edge and methodology, it needs to continue to create more models from every field – including sport, business, sales, education, consultancy, training, law, relationships, parent- ing and health. The possibilities are limitless. For example, What is NLP? you can model: • How a person stays in good health or overcomes an illness • Excellent sales skills • Leadership skills • Outstanding athletic achievements • Excellent teachers • Strategic thinking An NLP model normally consists of: • The mental strategies. • The beliefs and values. • The physiology. • External behaviour • The context in which the person being modelled is oper- ating. The full process of modelling involves: • elicitation • coding • utilisation • propagation • discovering patterns of experience • describing those patterns in terms of NLP distinctions, creating new distinctions or using the distinctions taken from the person being modelled • exploring ways to use those patterns • creating a teaching method to transfer the model to others. THE THIRTEEN PRESUPPOSITIONS The thirteen presuppositions are the central principles of NLP; they are its guiding philosophy, its ‘beliefs’. These principles do not claim to be universal, and you don’t have to believe they are true. They are called presuppositions simply because you pre-suppose them to be true and then act as if they were. You then discover what happens. If you like the results then continue to act as if they are true. They form a set of ethical principles for life. The Presuppositions of NLP 1. People respond to their experience, not to reality itself. We do not know what reality is. Our senses, beliefs, and past experience give us a map of the world from which to operate. A map can never be exactly accurate; otherwise it would be the same as the ground it covers. We do not know the territory, so for us, the map is the territory. Some maps are better than others for finding your way around. We navigate life like a ship through a dangerous area of sea; as long as the map shows the main hazards, we will be fine. When maps are faulty and do not show the dangers, then we are in danger of running aground. NLP is the art of changing these maps, so we have greater freedom of action. 2. Having a choice is better than not having a choice. Always try to have a map for yourself that gives you the widest and richest number of choices. Act always to increase choice. The more choices you have, the freer you are and the more influence you have. The Thirteen Presuppositions 3. People make the best choice they can at the time. A person always makes the best choice they can, given their map of the world. The choice may be self-defeating, bizarre or evil, but for them, it seems the best way forward. Give them a better choice in their map of the world and they will take it. Even better give them a superior map with more choices in it. 4. People work perfectly. No one is wrong or broken. They are carrying out their strategies perfectly, but the strategies may be poorly designed and ineffective. Find out how you and others do what they do so their strategy can be changed to something more useful and desirable. 5. All actions have a purpose. Our actions are not random; we are always trying to achieve something, although we may not be aware of what that is. 6. Every behaviour has a positive intention. All our actions have at least one purpose – to achieve something that we value and benefits us. NLP separates the intention or purpose behind an action from the action itself. A person is not their behaviour. When a person has a better choice of behaviour that also achieves their positive intention, they will take it. 7. The unconscious mind balances the conscious; it is not malicious. The unconscious is everything that is not in consciousness at the present moment. It contains all the resources we need to live in balance. 8. The meaning of the communication is not simply what you intend, but also the response you get. This response may be different to the one you wanted. There are no failures in communication, only responses and feed- back. If you are not getting the result you want, change what you are doing. Take responsibility for the communication.