Table Of Content

Available now at your FLGS… An all new regional sourcebook for the Kingdoms of Kalamar. This tome includes: • Races and Regional Feats! Learn about the variety of player character options for human, humanoid and monstrous races, and build your character with over 23 feats! • Classes and Paths! With details about 17 dif- ferent classes, and 12 career paths with feat pro- gressions, easily customize your character, whether hero, villain, warrior or scholar! • Prestige Classes! Become a Disciple of Zhulurahn, a ferocious Meldiz savage, a trans- forming primal warrior, a vigilant savannah stalk- er or an elite Sedizehn killer! • Weapons, Armor and Equipment! Equip your character with a wide variety of weapons, Imagine, if you will, equatorial Africa with cities tools, armor, musical instruments, mounts, ships and and cultures that rival the ancient Roman world for other special items found herein! their glory. Now, in your mind's eye you have a glim- • Spells and Magic Items! Unlock the arcane power mer of what is Svimohzia, a land of diverse cultures, of cheetah’s speed, nemesis, Onahu’s cloak of courage, shining cities, terrifying dangers and ancient won- and over a dozen other new spells! ders. This is a land unlike any other - and a land • Detailed Kingdoms, Towns and Cities! Along that's waiting for you. with information on each kingdom’s history, rulers, Whether you hail from the massive hobgoblin noble houses, topography and other details, you’ll dis- kingdom of Ul-Karg, a savage wild elf tribe deep in cover dozens of cities, all with information on popu- the Vohven Jungle, or one of the vast human king- lation, government, economy, temples, underworld, doms from mercantile Ahznomahn to war-torn interesting sites and more! Zazahni, this supplement allows you to create and • Culture and Society in Depth! Learn about each equip any character for endless adventures in this land’s nobility, social castes, military forces, religion, incredible setting. clothing, culture, diet, trading practices, recreational habits, architecture and more! This fascinating 256-page hardcover is compatible • Easy-To-Use Quick Reference Sections! Whether with the current edition of the Dungeons & Dragons you need a new name for your character, a listing of game, and provides players and Dungeon Masters noble houses, or how to pronounce and translate an with a fully realized island continent for only $34.99! unknown word, these sections give you the informa- Vast savannahs, deep jungles, detailed city and region- tion you need. al maps, along with historical, cultural and geograph- • Monsters and NPCs! This ancient land can be ical information, provide the DM with unlimited quite dangerous for the unwary, and some of its ter- adventure options! Plus, an array of regional prestige rors lie in wait for you here! classes, feats, career paths, weapons, armors, equip- • Adventure Hooks and Tips, Detailed Maps of ment and spells, lets players easily customize their Svimohzia and Much More! character, whether hero, villain, warrior or scholar! TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN KENZER AND COMPANY Issue #132 •• October 2007 © Copyright 2007, Kenzer and Company, All Rights Reserved. Knights of the Dinner Table™ magazine (ISSN 1526-307X) is THEKODT DEVELOPMENTTEAMIS published monthly by Kenzer and JJOOLLLLYY RR.. BBLLAACCKKBBUURRNN •• BBRRIIAANN JJEELLKKEE Company, 511 W. Greenwood Ave., Waukegan, IL 60087. SSTTEEVVEE JJOOHHAANNSSSSOONN •• DDAAVVIIDD SS.. KKEENNZZEERR Periodicals Postage Paid TTAABBLLEE OOFF CCOONNTTEENNTTSS at Libertyville, IL. Postmaster: Send address DDEEPPAARRTTMMEENNTTSS changes to: KNIGHTSOFTHEDINNERTABLE Cries from the Attic™ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4 511 W Greenwood Ave. Waukegan, IL 60087 Table Talk™ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6 Internet: [email protected] Game Vine . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .70 (editorial inquiries only) or ques- Back Room at the Games Pit™ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .73 [email protected] (all other inquiries). World Wide Web: Brian’s Small Press Picks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .77 http://www.kenzerco.com Weird Pete’s Bulletin Board™ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .76 Submissions:We accept submis- Parting Shots™ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .80 sions for strip ideas, jokes, cartoons, etc. We are interested in running anything that other gamers and fans GGAAMMEEMMAASSTTEERR’’SS WWOORRKKSSHHOOPP would enjoy. Check out our website Rustlers of the Night™ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .38 for writer’s guidelines. Treasures and Mysteries: Part VI . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .39 Legal Notice:Knights of the Dinner Table, HackMaster and Kingdoms Deadly Trappings™ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .42 of Kalamar are registered trademarks Casting Call . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .43 of Kenzer and Company. Take the Money and Run, Cries from the The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly™ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .44 Attic, Table Talk, KODT, Retro- Bait and Tackle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .47 KODT, Hacklopedia of Beasts, Off the Shelf, Tales from the Table, All Things Magic™ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .48 Adventurers for Hire, Summon Web Close Encounters of the Random Kind . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .49 Scryer, GameVine, Weird Pete’s Bulletin Board, Back Room at the Dungeons: Ready to Occupy by Craig Zipse . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .58 Games Pit, Brian’s SmallPressPicks, Disks of Wondrous Power, The RREEGGUULLAARRCCOOLLUUMMNNSS Gamer’s Rant on the Movies/TV, Parting Shots, Hard Eight Tales from the Table . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .51 Enterprises, One-Two Punches, Hacker’s Guide to Garweeze Wurld . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .57 Gary Jackson Files, SpellJacked, GameMasters’ Workshop, All Lost Game Safari . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .60 Things Magic, Players’ Advantage, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, Lookin’ at Comics™by Tony Digerolamo . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .62 Rustlers of the Night, Game A Gamer’s Rant on Movies™by Noah Antwiler . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .63 Mechanic the Kenzer and Company Logo, kenzerco.com, Radio Free Summon Web Scryer™by Kenneth Newquist . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .65 KODT, RFKODT. Celebrity Hack, Gamer’s Rant and all prominent characters and likenesses thereof are trademarks of Kenzer and Company. Dungeons & Dragons and D&D are trademarks owned by Wizards of the Coast, Inc., a subsidiary of Hasbro, SUBSCRIPTIONS: Aone year subscription (12 issues) is only $48.00 (US $66.00 in Canada and US $98.00 Inc., and are used by Kenzer and Overseas). To subscribe, send a check or money order (made payable to Kenzer and Company) to: Company under license. © 2007 KENZER & COMPANY KODT SUBSCRIPTIONS,511 W Greenwood Ave.Waukegan, IL 60087 Wizards of the Coast, Inc. You can also subscribe by credit card directly on our online store at www.kenzerco.com. BACK ISSUESand PRINTEDINU.S.A. other KODT merchandising is also available. First Class Subscriptions are available for an additional charge. Geek Fu Action Grip™ by Mur Lafferty . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .66 CCRREEDDIITTSS Disks of Wondrous Power™by Rick Moscatello . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .67 PUBLISHER Off the Shelf™by Paul Westermeyer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .69 Kenzer and Company Board Squawk™ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .71 EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Jolly R. Blackburn FFEEAATTUURREESS [email protected] Players’ Advantage: Lusting for Evil . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .35 ASSISTANTEDITOR Barbara Blackburn Game Designer (filk) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .41 [email protected] Exploring Viking Themes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .52 PROOFREADER Players’ Advantage: A Character Driven Game . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .54 Bev Shideler TTHHEESSTTRRIIPPSS:: by the Usual Suspects PRODUCTIONMANAGER Steve Johansson The Dining Room of Horrendous Doom . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .8 SALESANDMARKETING Seven Gates, Seven Fates . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .16 Jennifer Kenzer Owner of a Broken Heart . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .20 [email protected] Journey of Discovery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .27 SUBSCRIPTIONSERVICES [email protected] One-Two Punches™ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .75 STRIPWRITING HHOOMMEEBBRREEWW SSTTRRIIPPSS Jolly R. Blackburn Brian Jelke A Convenient Truth (Fuzzy Knights) by Noah Chinn . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .72 Steve Johansson Fantasy Wrongness by the Brothers Grinn . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .78 David S. Kenzer Unnamed cartoons by Bill “Indy” Cavalier, Joseph Hellar, Scott R. Krol, Chris KODTSTRIPART Jolly Blackburn Aviello & Sean Keith Williams . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .80 COVERART Talon Dunning COVERWRANGLER Mark Plemmons CONTRIBUTINGARTISTS Brendon Fraim Brian Fraim AABBOOUUTTTTHHEECCOOVVEERR The Brothers Grinn Craig Zipse Angi Shearstone Talon Dunning has been a profes- Bill “Indy” Cavalier sional illustrator since 1997, work- James Montney ing for West End Games, Wizards Jerry Duginski Jolly Blackburn of the Coast, Kenzer and Sean Keith Williams Company, Green Ronin, and Joseph W. Hellar many more. His website is Scott R. Krol Chris Aviello http://www.talonart.com CONTRIBUTINGWRITERS Barbara Blackburn Jolly R. Blackburn Tony DiGerolamo Paul Westermeyer The Brothers Grinn Rick Moscatello Kenneth Newquist Mur Lafferty David S. Kenzer Ann McIntosh KNIGHTSOFTHEDINNERTABLE™was accidentally created by Jolly R. Michael Sharp Blackburn way back in 1990 as ‘filler’ for his small press magazine, Noah Antwiler SHADIS™.It was something of a ‘creative burp’and Jolly really didn’t give it Nick Medinger much thought. Perhaps that’s why he was just as surprised as anyone that Craig Zipse soon KODTwas overshadowing everything else he’d ever done and that the Brian Smith createdwas now controlling the creator. Fortunately, writing and drawing Noah J.D. Chinn KODTstrips isn’t the lonely job it was in the past. Hundreds of fans have contributed to Andy Miller the beast over the years and since joining the ranks of KENZERANDCOMPANYand the for- mation of the KODTD-TEAM, the Knights have gone far beyond anything Jolly or fellow David Reeder D-teammembers, Steve Johansson, David S. Kenzer or Brian Jelke ever imagined. With Ann Jenks ionvge rw 1h2e0re i stshuee sg aunngd teark tehse tihr ebmel tns,e xitt’.s Ibne e2n0 a0 6w,i lJdo lrliyd ew aans din tdhue cDte-dT eianmtol othoeksH foarllw oafr dF atom see.e-••1997•• ••1998•• ScoMtti kJaem Ceas rCnioenlloover CHARMEDPERSONS ••1999•• •2003• JKacekv iGn rVaaynsocne ™ R Q ... EADER UESTIONS SSomebody pointed out recently the we haven’t dug A:This comes up a lot. The truth is we’ve been approached by through the stack ofReader Questions in a while. Since several studios and interested parties over the years. As much as it’s deadline time and I have nothingas far as a subject we’d love to see it happen — the right person hasn’t come along for an editorial — well, looks like a good time to chip away yet. at that pile. Our insistence of having at least some level of approval/input Q: Why don't we ever see Whitey Moran or Logan has probably been the biggest stumbling block. Dave Kenzer Foremax at the midnight “Gathering of GMs” at Hawg loves to tell the story of the studio suit who was interested in Wallers? KODTbut wanted to make changes to the characters (Bob, A:Actually Whitey was shown bellying up at Hawg’s bar in Dave, Brian, B.A. and Sara). Namely making them more ‘hero- Last Call(BOT#17). After the local memorial service for Gary ic’ and successful in their real lives. Jackson. Although readers may have missed it since he only had That pretty much sums things up. Obviously we’d like to see it one line and nobody referred to him by name. happen. Who knows. As hinted in many strips over the years — neither Whitey nor Q:Iwas reading some old issues of KODTthe other day Logan seem to get along very well with the other groups. Chances and was shocked/surprised to learn that Gary Jackson has are they aren’t a part of the “Gathering of GMs” because they’ve other children besides Timmy. What’s the deal with that? never been invited. A:It’s been hinted that Gary had been married several times Observant readers may have noticed Logan made an appear- and has other children. It’s also been hinted that his relationship ance in a recent strip (albeit a brief one). He will be figuring in with those children was estranged — which is why he had taken a story line more prominently very soon. a special interest in Timmy (hoping not to repeat the mistakes of Q:Who is “Our man in Muncie” referred to by the Hard the past). Other than the brief mention you refer to, those other’ Eight staff...? children have never figured into the strips. A:You don’t really expect us to answer that one do you...? That’s it for this Q&A I’m afraid. Q:How in the world did Pete come to own a Chimp? Hope you enjoy the issue in hand. And yes -- the last few issues have been running a bit late. Blame the summer con A:You can find a bio/backstory on Squirrely on our website season.We should be back on track by next issue. under “Who’s Who in KODT.” But the short answer is Squirrely was purchased by Pete for the sum of $586 at a mili- Thanks for your patience. tary surplus auction. Which obviously begs further questions. Game on! Q:Any chance of seeing Knights of the Dinner Tableas Jolly R. Blackburn an animated series/feature...? October 2, 2007 hey -- LIL’ KNOBBYFOOTis always WHININGbecause we NEVERlet him do anything -- let’s have HIMdo it. good thinking, bob. \ got a BETTERidea. let’s make GILEAD do it. \ PROTEST!! if the HELMET he wants to CONTRIBUTE to the SUCCESS of turns out to be this party here’s his BIGCHANCE. \ tell him you can’t use my HENCHMAN WORTHLESS -- if he can RETRIEVEthe helmet he can KEEPit. like a LIVING mine-sweeper. no loss. and we can check this um. sara -- don’t room off on the forget. you’re STILL MAP as being unconscious from CLEAR. the SLEEPGASTRAP bob set off. above: ten years ago this month -- from \ssue twelve of KNIGHTSOFTHEDINNER TABLE: JUSTFORTHEHELMOFIT. the KNIGHTS inadvertently create an ARCHNEMESIS out of a LOWLY henchman. 4——————————————————— Issue #132: Take the Money and Run ™ It’s the GIFT * that KEEPS on GIVING A twelve issue SUBSCRIPTION to KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE for the GAMER in your life. Go to www.kenzerco.com for details or look at the bottom of page two * Well — at least twelve times a year. ™ OOuurr RReeaaddeerrss TTaallkk BBaacckk!! episodes (the biker bar exit was brilliant) or was no way that we were going to get out of “Sara Saves the Knights from the Evil Goths” this mess alive, let alone with our mission (her deprogramming in Brian’s basement was accomplished. purely sadistic.) Therefore, I rolled for a chance to talk the In any case, you always make me laugh, dragon into giving my companions an hour to chuckle and guffaw. To dish out so much prepare to die, while he and I played cards and pleasure is a wonderful gift and I just wished talked. I rolled a nat 20 and accomplished to thank you for all of your truly funny what I wanted. insights. In short, my character, a Ranger, talked the Like most fans, I also have an imaginary dragon into: not fighting, killing and eating episode I would like to see done up. It was us, going into partnership with us in opening prompted by Dave and Bob’s grousing about a casino, hotel and bar in his cave, thereby other peoples’ online bragging about their becoming a business dragon and exploits and by a real gaming situation I did- president/CEO of a major corporation, get- n’t believe I could ever pull off. ting richer, feeding off of human greed and EDITOR’SNOTE:The mail just never frailty and creating more misery than just Here it is: What if HackMasterhad a con- seems to stop. While we make every killing people. test to pick out “The Greatest Gaming Coups effort to read each and every letter, it is not always possible to give a personal reply. So of the Year?” People could submit their great- Also, I convinced him to give us the artifact even if your letter isn’t published or if you don’t est feat (attested to by their duly-certified GM we needed, and showed him how he could get a direct response, rest assured you ARE being and in 200 words or less) and the feats would become a king, make laws and have all sorts of heard. be posted online at the official fun playing bureaucracy and politics. It only took throwing six nat 20s in a row, with my Remember, KODT is an interactive maga- hackmasters.com web site. sacred, mottled orange, hand-me-down dice. zine. We want you, the reader, to be involved. The voting could be by a panel from Hard So keep your suggestions, thoughts and opinions Afterwards, I could just hear Bob groaning, Eight, a selected board of say five certified (constructive and otherwise) coming. Opinions “Six nat 20s in a row by a 62-year-old woman GMs picked at random, and by a popular vote expressed by readers are not necessarily shared by in Arkansas? It’s not natural!” (This of course on line. The prize could be something really the editor or Kenzer and Company. is a pun on that fact that nat stands for natu- “kewl” and be presented by Gary Jackson Please be aware that due to space considera- ral. It is also a bad pun for the little-known tions, some letters have been edited and/or himself at Gary Con. trimmed. —Jolly fact that Arkansas is called “The Natural The kicker is that both Dave and Bob are State,” which naturally makes me a Natural- in the final four for winning. The sad news is hum maybe “The Natural” yeh- this is bad, My Son. My GameMaster. that they lose to me. real bad. Please forgive my natural inclination My greatest coups happened when my dear to make puny efforts at humor.) Hi! My name is Tina Fitch. I live in Bella son had us all on a quest to find several arti- I also heard Dave screaming: “How can Vista, Arkansas, am 62 years old, a gamer and mother of Ford Fitch (aka The Demon facts, that put together would save the world. she have won? She didn’t hack anything! You GM from the Lowest, Deepest, Darkest Pit of In his typical devious way he had the last arti- have to hack something. You can’t just talk. the Seven Levels of Hell) who has kindly fiact guarded by a dragon. You have to be a hacker to win at agreed to deliver this missive. Not just any dragon, but the biggest, bad- HackMaster!” Sorry, Charlie, er…sorry, Dave, As if you haven’t already guessed, this is a dest, smartest, most-talented, evil, people hat- you should have read my bio, then you would fan letter. I really love, admire and get a kick ing (and eating), powerful, nasty, sadistic, have known that my maiden name IS Hacker! out of “The Knights of the Dinner Table.” greedy, canny, deranged, all out vile, eat-your- For better or for worst, that’s my dream Several concepts from “Knights” have heart-out B.A. Felton, demigod of an elder episode and if you don’t believe it, ask the GM become household sayings around here, such dragon. from you know where. Thanks for everything! as “Stay out of the steam tunnels, dummy!”, Ford created this monster for the express Respectfully, the Vice President of the Over “Look out for the Killer Gazebo!” and, “Don’t purpose of killing, seriously maiming, degrad- the Hill Fan Club of “The Knights of the kill the llamas!” come readily to mind. ing, make the players go broke, lose it all, and Dinner Table” (Weird Pete is President, but Truly, I can’t decide which “Knights” is my teach you the lesson that you can’t outfox this I’ll get him next election!) favorite episode. It is either: all the “Steam GM. Tina Hacker-Fitch Tunnel” related What happened was that I knew that there H C US OW TO ONTACT (cid:65): ViaONLINEFORUM—Just pop over to www.kenzerco.com and visit our discussion forums. (cid:26): via E-MAIL— Send your strip ideas, reader mail, back room fodder and questions to [email protected]. (cid:17): via SNAILMAIL— Or write to us at KODT c/o KenzerCo, 511 W Greenwood Ave., Waukegan, IL 60087. 6——————————————————— Issue #132: Take the Money and Run ™ some drastic change in the landscape (such as readers no longer pick- ing up the magazine) we’ll continue to bring you strips and content month to month. Still — the question keeps coming up. Even one of our regular columnists pulled me aside recently at GenCon because he had heard rumors KODTwas ceasing publication. Pay no heed. Frustrating as Not to mention Parkinson, they may be they are rumors and nothing Caldwell, Otus, Easley... I’m sure I’m more. — Jolly not the only fan who would appreciate such greats lending their talents to the (cid:26):KODT on Bob A Hard Day’s Knight (cid:26) magic that’s KODT. and Tom Radio Show... Keep up the good work. I’m enjoy- Iabsolutely love the cover for issue 131 ing the Temple story. And the wife Just thought you’d like to know that — A Hard Day’s Knight. My wife loves the occasional strip with Bob’s Knights of the Dinner Table and pointed out something that I hadn’t niece and nephew. Kenzer and Companywere mentioned immediately noticed. G.A.R. on the nationally broadcast radio show, The artwork shows Sara, Bob, Brian Glad you liked the Elmore tribute, Bob and Tom the other day. and Dave portraying their characters Greg. Hey, I’m with you. I’d love to see a I was driving back to Indiana University from the current storyline and NOT genuine Elmore gracing the cover of with my roommate when a caller broached the the Untouchable Trio (+1)as they nor- KODT. Just as soon as we scrounge up a subject.It was a brief mention but hear- mally do. Nice touch (Although, Brian Wish Ring we’ll make that happen. — ing the name of my favorite comic in fur undies sort of creeps me out). Jolly book on the radio really made my day. There’s something else unusual I yelled out a proper “Hoody Hoo!” about the cover. I had the unshakeable (cid:65):State of KODT...? to celebrate the moment. Several in feeling I’d seen it before. Finally, it hit fact. Very cool. Key question: With Dragon,the magazine me (Thanks to the little clue the Fraim I grew up with and that has always I’m sure by now someone else has brothers hid in their by-line). inspired me, dead — how viable is a PRINT- already pointed out but I thought I’d It would appear the cover is a hom- ED version of KODT?I have my trusty check drop you a note. age to the classic Larry Elmore painting book out to once again start subscribing but I Jay Shelby that appeared in the AD&D 2nd have to know, will you survive this "on-line Thanks for the heads up, Jay. Indeed, Edition Player’s Handbook years ago. displacer beast" that appears to have gotten the best of Dragon? several people alerted us (including my Again — nice touch. Uncle). No idea how the subject came up Will KODT break my heart the way Of course it’s fitting that the but I’m sorry I missed it. — Jolly❑ Dragonhas? I want to support a PRINTED Knights’ dragon would be BIGGER gaming magazine and KODThas fit the bill than the orginal (and hence the brag- very nicely. I miss it. It is far more than a mere ging rights are bigger). comic. why don’t If you ever saw fit to produce a Marv you WRITEUS? poster of this particular cover I would No fears, Marv. We understand your definitely buy it. we’re HUNGRY concerns and you’re definitely not alone. to HEAR from you. (I’ve made it available on our Cafe With several gaming magazines fold- Press storefront. -Steve) ing in 2007 a lot of readers have been left [email protected] I would love to see more classic art wondering if dead-tree gaming maga- parodies in the future. In fact here’s an zines are destined to become extinct. The idea for you. answer in a word — no. I hear Elmore is a fan of KODT. KODTis doing just fine and we have Have you ever thought about having no plans on going to an online only for- him do a cover? Iwould love to see his mat. take on the characters. We enjoy what we’re doing and barring Knights of the Dinner Table® Magazine • October, 2007————————————— 7 The Dining Room of Horrendous Doom by jolly r. blackburn with steve johansson and barbara blackburn RECAP: the KNIGHTS arrived at the GATESOF HARBINGER okay -- so, you step up to the * -- only to find THREE of the EDGEof the gate and ENTER.... ¡ portals had been DESTROYED. ¡ it’s almost as though of the FOURGATES; trial, you are SUCKED in P tribulation, ordeal and judgement as you LEANFORWARD... A only ORDEAL remains standing. L surrounding the ruins of the C gates is a VASTbattlefield with then EXIT this PLANE dead orcs, hobgoblins, ogres of EXISTENCE with and giants piled high. ¡ an AUDIBLE pop... ¡ just as the KNIGHTS were preparing P to ‘clean up’ and LOOT the battle field dead -- a LARGE ARMYof ORKIN A reinforcements arrived on the scene. L C taking the ONLY apparent avenue of escape the PARTYleaped through the PORTALOFORDEAL... you have just been PLUCKED ummm -- did from the world of LIGHT!! h-hey!! oh gawd... anyone happen what GIVES? to bring TORCHES? \’ve got a who turned BADFEELING out the about this... \’m gonna you have the UNEASY LIGHTS? grab a soda. sensation that you anybody WANT are being PULLED anything? through a LONG DARKTUNNEL... you would be WELL things are about to UNFOLD ADVISED to STAY put at an INSANELY rapid pace. and REMAINseated, brian. casting a to REFLECT that you’ll LIGHTSPELL be REQUIREDto make some here, b.a.!! QUICK and SNAPPY decisions for your characters. good idea, dave. * The sound of B.A.’s “Klap-On” turning off the lights. (cid:65)(cid:65) “…so then ATHENA turned to HERA and said, ‘let’s get KRAKEN’ -snicker- GET IT? let’s get ‘KRAKEN’?” —Bob Herzog, Bundles ofTrouble #23, Filler 8 ——————————————————— Issue #132: Take the Money and Run™