INTIMACY AND ALIENATION IN THE AGE OF COMPETITIVE INDIVIDUALISM by MITCH ...

164 Pages·2012·2.91 MB·English

TOGETHER AND ALONE: INTIMACY AND ALIENATION
IN THE AGE OF COMPETITIVE INDIVIDUALISM

by

MITCH MONSOUR

A DISSERTATION

Presented to the Department of Sociology
and the Graduate School of the University of Oregon
in partial fulfillment of the requirements
for the degree of
Doctor of Philosophy

June 2017
DISSERTATION APPROVAL PAGE

Student: Mitch Monsour

Title: Together and Alone: Intimacy and Alienation in the Age of Competitive
Individualism

This dissertation has been accepted and approved in partial fulfillment of the
requirements for the Doctor of Philosophy degree in the Department of Sociology by:

Gregory McLauchlan Chairperson
Richard York Core Member
Jill Harrison Core Member
Patricia Curtin Institutional Representative

and

Scott L. Pratt Dean of the Graduate School

Original approval signatures are on file with the University of Oregon Graduate School.

Degree awarded June 2017
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© 2017 Mitch Monsour

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DISSERTATION ABSTRACT

Mitch Monsour

Doctor of Philosophy

Department of Sociology

June 2017

Title: Together and Alone: Intimacy and Alienation in the Age of Competitive
Individualism

I begin by discussing structural alienation in the United States and its relationship to
the pursuit of romantic love. I argue that romantic love is idealized due the lack of
community inherent in a competitive, individualistic society; the romantic partner becomes
a replacement for the community individuals once relied on for material and psychological
needs. Despite the allure of romantic love, the norms and values associated with it often
undermine the development of intimacy, as does the larger society in which the relationship
is situated. I refer to this phenomenon as the romantic contradiction. I then discuss some
of the factors that contribute to the romantic contradiction, such as the commodification of
relationships in a market-based economy, impression management in dating, and the role of
gender in heterosexual relationships.
Central to this dissertation, I investigate the dominant ideology of romantic love by
conducting a textual analysis of the ten most popular romantic comedies and self-help
books on romantic relationships from 2006-2010. My findings suggest the dominant
ideology of romantic love promotes long-term, monogamous relationships as the primary
way to meet a person’s psychological and physical needs. Furthermore, the ideal
relationship is based on gendered needs and responsibilities: men are expected to provide
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material and physical protection, while women are expected to provide emotional support
and sexual intimacy. The ideology encourages a dependency between women and men and
various forms of inequality. It also reinforces individualism in relationships by placing
greater emphasis on meeting needs rather than developing intimacy (e.g. knowledge,
empathy) for its own sake. I conclude with a discussion of competitive individualism and
romantic alienation, and suggest avenues for reducing gender dependency and alienation in
relationships.

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CURRICULUM VITAE

NAME OF AUTHOR: Mitch Monsour

GRADUATE AND UNDERGRADUATE SCHOOLS ATTENDED:

University of Oregon, Eugene
State University of New York, New Paltz
Adirondack Community College, Queensbury

DEGREES AWARDED:

Doctor of Philosophy, Sociology, 2017, University of Oregon
Master of Science, Sociology, 2008, University of Oregon
Bachelor of Arts, Sociology, 2004, State University of New York
Associate of Science, 2002, Adirondack Community College

AREAS OF SPECIAL INTEREST:

Social Psychology

PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE:

Instructor, Graduate Teaching Fellow, University of Oregon, 2008-2015
Teaching Assistant, Graduate Teaching Fellow, University of Oregon, 2006-2013

PUBLICATIONS:

Monsour, Mitch. 2015. “Review of Surveillance or Security: The Risks Posed by
New Wiretapping Technologies, by Susan Landau.” The Information Society,
31(2):225-226

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To Mom, who taught me never to quit.

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TABLE OF CONTENTS
Chapter Page

I. INTRODUCTION .................................................................................................... 1
Alienation and Romantic Love .............................................................................. 5
Alienation as a Structural Issue.............................................................................. 7

II. STRUCTURE, ALIENATION, AND COMMUNITY IN AMERICAN
SOCIETY ................................................................................................................ 10

Alienation from the Labor Process ........................................................................ 11
Alienation from the Fruits of Labor ....................................................................... 13
Commodity Fetishism ............................................................................................ 14
Consumerism ................................................................................................... 16
Competition in the Labor Market .......................................................................... 18
Individualism ......................................................................................................... 20
Alienation and the Physical Environment.............................................................. 22
Communications Technology and Alienation ....................................................... 25
Conclusion ............................................................................................................. 30

III. INTERACTION AND ALIENATION IN AMERICAN SOCIETY .................... 32
Social Control and the Self .................................................................................... 33
Impression Management ........................................................................................ 35
Feeling Rules and Alienation from the Self ........................................................... 37
Empathy and Interaction ........................................................................................ 40
Celebrity Culture and the Competition for Attention ............................................ 42
Conclusion ............................................................................................................. 44

IV. TWO AGAINST THE WORLD: THE PROMISE AND BETRAYAL OF
ROMANTIC LOVE............................................................................................... 46

The Sociology of Love........................................................................................... 47

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Chapter Page
The Allure of Romantic Love ................................................................................ 48
Romanticism and the Rise of the Consumer Society ............................................. 50
The Commodification of Love ............................................................................... 52
Impression Management and the Halo Effect ........................................................ 54
Gender as a Barrier to Intimacy ............................................................................. 57
Conclusion ............................................................................................................. 60

V. ADDICTED TO LOVE: GENDERED DEPENDENCY IN ROMANTIC
IDEOLOGY ............................................................................................................ 61

Romantic Love in Popular Culture ........................................................................ 62
Data and Methods .................................................................................................. 65
Idealization of Romantic Love ............................................................................... 72
Love as Equal Exchange ........................................................................................ 73
The Dating Market ................................................................................................. 73
Gendered Needs ..................................................................................................... 74
Love as a Power Struggle ...................................................................................... 76
Inequality in Romantic Ideology ........................................................................... 78
Gendered Dependency in Romantic Ideology ....................................................... 80
Counter-Ideological Themes .................................................................................. 82
Ideology of Romantic Love ................................................................................... 84
Conclusion ............................................................................................................. 86

VI. ROMANTIC IDEOLOGY AND GENDER ROLES IN ROMANTIC
COMEDIES ........................................................................................................... 87
Romantic Love in Film .......................................................................................... 88
Mythic Love and Prosaic-Realism ......................................................................... 89
Data and Methods .................................................................................................. 90
Race, Class, and Sexuality ..................................................................................... 91
Idealization of Romantic Love ............................................................................... 91

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Chapter Page
Commodification in Romantic Relationships ........................................................ 92
Male Role in Romantic Relationships ................................................................... 94
Female Role in Romantic Relationships ................................................................ 100
Romantic Ideology Revisited ................................................................................. 106

VII. CONCLUSION .................................................................................................... 108
Competitive Individualism and Romantic Love .................................................... 111
Romantic Alienation and Gender ........................................................................... 112
Resistance, Past and Present .................................................................................. 114
Heart of a Heartless World .................................................................................... 116
A Revolution of Values ......................................................................................... 117

REFERENCES CITED ................................................................................................ 120

APPENDICES ............................................................................................................. 131
A. SELF-HELP BOOKS ................................................................................... 131
B. ROMANTIC COMEDIES ............................................................................ 137
C. TABLES ........................................................................................................ 143
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