HANGING NOODLES I’M NOT ON YOUR EARS To stand like a watered poodle German: to be crestfallen Published by the National Geographic Society 1145 17th Street N.W., Washington, D.C. 20036 Copyright © 2009 Jag Bhalla. All rights reserved. Reproduction of the whole or any part of the contents without written permission from the publisher is prohibited. ISBN: 978-1-4262-0530-9 The National Geographic Society is one of the world’s largest nonprofit scientific and educational organizations. Founded in 1888 to “increase and diffuse geographic knowledge,” the Society works to inspire people to care about the planet. It reaches more than 325 million people worldwide each month through its official journal, NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC, and other magazines; National Geographic Channel; television documentaries; music; radio; films; books; DVDs; maps; exhibitions; school publishing programs; interactive media; and merchandise. National Geographic has funded more than 9,000 scientific research, conservation and exploration projects and supports an education program combating geographic illiteracy. For more information, visit nationalgeographic.com. For more information, please call 1-800-NGS LINE (647-5463) or write to the following address: National Geographic Society 1145 17th Street N.W. Washington, D.C. 20036-4688 U.S.A. Visit us online at www.nationalgeographic.com/books For rights or permissions inquiries, please contact National Geographic Books Subsidiary Rights: [email protected] CONTENTS Introduction This book can save you decades of effort! I’m not hanging noodles on your ears! chapter one The Language of Love: Swallowed like a postman’s sock chapter two Kith & Kin-dred: Seventh water on a starchy jelly chapter three Animals: Here the donkey falls chapter four Appearances & Health: Go out by the neck of your shirt chapter five Heads & Tails: Pull the hair out of someone’s nostrils chapter six Countries: Oranges to China chapter seven Numbers: The twenty-two misfortunes chapter eight Time: When dogs were tied with sausages chapter nine Colors: Sighing with blue breath chapter ten Emotional States: Bang your butt on the ground chapter eleven Work & Money: To have no time to die chapter twelve Food & Drink: Give it to someone with cheese chapter thirteen False Friends: One’s belly is thick chapter fourteen In Conclusiveness: The end is musk Notes Reference Sources Reference Sauces Acknowledgments In memory of my parents, Bachan Singh Bhalla MBE and Tripta Bhalla
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