How to Use Power Phrases PDF
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How to Use Power Phrases to Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say, and Get What You Want Meryl Runion McGraw-Hill New York Chicago San Francisco Lisbon London Madrid Mexico City Milan New Delhi San Juan Seoul Singapore Sydney Toronto Copyright © 2004 by Meryl Runion. All rights reserved. Manufactured in the United States of America. Except as permitted under the United States Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced or distributed in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher. 0-07-145727-5 The material in this eBook also appears in the print version of this title: 0-07-142485-7. All trademarks are trademarks of their respective owners. Rather than put a trademark symbol after every occurrence of a trademarked name, we use names in an editorial fashion only, and to the benefit of the trademark owner, with no intention of infringement of the trademark. 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Your right to use the work may be terminated if you fail to comply with these terms. THE WORK IS PROVIDED “AS IS.” McGRAW-HILL AND ITS LICENSORS MAKE NO GUARANTEES OR WARRANTIES AS TO THE ACCURACY, ADEQUACY OR COMPLETENESS OF OR RESULTS TO BE OBTAINED FROM USING THE WORK, INCLUDING ANY INFORMATION THAT CAN BE ACCESSED THROUGH THE WORK VIA HYPERLINK OR OTHERWISE, AND EXPRESSLY DISCLAIM ANY WARRANTY, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. McGraw-Hill and its licensors do not warrant or guarantee that the functions contained in the work will meet your requirements or that its operation will be uninterrupted or error free. Neither McGraw-Hill nor its licensors shall be liable to you or anyone else for any inaccuracy, error or omission, regardless of cause, in the work or for any damages resulting therefrom. McGraw-Hill has no responsibility for the content of any information accessed through the work. Under no circumstances shall McGraw-Hill and/or its licensors be liable for any indirect, incidental, special, punitive, consequential or similar damages that result from the use of or inability to use the work, even if any of them has been advised of the possibility of such damages. This limitation of liability shall apply to any claim or cause whatsoever whether such claim or cause arises in contract, tort or otherwise. DOI: 10.1036/0071457275 For more information about this title, click here Contents Acknowledgments vi Part 1 Why PowerPhrases? An Idea Whose Time Has Come 1. Power Up, Stand Up, SpeakTall 3 2. PowerPhrases 101: The ABCs 12 of PowerPhrases 3. Poison Phrases: Respect-Robbing Words 17 That Weaken, Vicious Venom Phrases That Maim 4. Do You Suffer from “PowerPhrase 35 Deficiency”? Take the PowerPhrase Quiz and Find Out Part 2 The Six Secrets of PowerPhrases 5. Secret #1: It’s What You Don’t Say: 43 A PowerPhrase Is Short 6. Secret #2: It’s in the Details: 48 A PowerPhrase Is Specific 7. Secret #3: Pick Winning Words That Work: 55 PowerPhrases Are Targeted iii iv Contents 8. Secret #4: The Power of the Simple Truth: 61 PowerPhrases Say What You Mean 9. Secret #5: Protect the Integrity of Your 66 Words: PowerPhrases Mean What You Say 10. Secret #6: There Is Power in Nice: 70 Don’t Be Mean When You Say It 11. A Personal Note about PowerPhrases 75 Part 3 PowerPhrases in Action 12. It Seems Like I’ve Known You Forever! 81 PowerPhrases to Perfect the Connection 13. Make Your Opinion Matter: PowerPhrases 90 to Say What You Think 14. The Secret Power of Communicating 99 Feelings: PowerPhrases to Say What You Feel 15. Ask So You Will Receive: PowerPhrases to 107 Make Powerful Requests 16. The Power of Saying NO! PowerPhrases to 116 Refuse What You Don’t Want 17. Listen So They Speak Freely: PowerPhrases 124 to Get Them to Open Up 18. When You Really Blew It: PowerPhrases to 132 Apologize Sincerely without Groveling 19. To Get Good Answers You Need Good 138 Questions: Asking Questions with PowerPhrases Contents v 20. You Don’t Have to Put Up with Put- 148 Downs: PowerPhrase Responses to Unkind Criticism 21. Don’t Resist Anger, Defuse It: 156 PowerPhrases to Handle the Angry Person 22. Use Anger as a Tool, Not as a Weapon: 164 PowerPhrases to Express Anger 23. How to Disagree without Being 175 Disagreeable: PowerPhrases to Handle Disagreements 24. Homicide Is Not an Option: 185 Use PowerPhrases to Address Issues 25. What He Says Is Not What She Hears and 193 What She Says Is Not What He Hears: PowerPhrases between the Genders Part 4 Put Your Best Self Forward with PowerPhrases 26. Tips for Using PowerPhrases 207 27. Answers to Readers’ Most Pressing, Vexing, 214 and Perplexing Communication Questions 28. Oh, My Gosh! PowerPhrases Really Work! 219 Success Stories from the Field 29. Your PowerPhrases Final Exam 224 A Final Personal Note 239 Index 241 Acknowledgments When my concept of PowerPhrases was embryonic, one person knew I had an important idea. Bill Cowles of SkillPath Semi- nars was, and remains, a source of inspiration. I figured he couldn’t be wrong, so I proceeded to prove him right! In addition to Bill, I must thank the thousands of people who have attended my seminars and those who receive my weekly newsletter ([email protected]). The consistent feedback I receive on how PowerPhrases work in real life pro- vides me with insights I could not gain in any other way. So many thanks to Bob, David, Cindi, Kjersti, Kim, Kris, Bjarni, Harriet, and everyone who has shared in my excitement each time I took a step closer to making PowerPhrases a house- hold word. An extra thank-you for Kris Perotsky at “A Second Pair of Eyes” for her stellar proofreading. vi Copyright © 2004 by Meryl Runion. Click here for terms of use. Part 1 Why PowerPhrases? An Idea Whose Time Has Come Copyright © 2004 by Meryl Runion. Click here for terms of use. This page intentionally left blank. 1 Power Up, Stand Up, SpeakTall Stand up, power up, and SpeakTall. The next time you get wind of a backstabber, address it. When your boss volunteers your department for another project, speak up about the challenges it presents and what you need to meet the challenge. When someone puts you down, tell the person how you want to be treated. When someone goes out of their way to help you, let them know exactly why you appreciate it. Take yourself off mute and speak! But don’t just speak, SpeakTall! Speak in a way that elevates you and everyone who hears you. Speak in a way that talks the walk you want. Avoid going from silence to violence; don’t go from meek and weak to rash and brash. Use PowerPhrases— winning words that work! I hear it repeatedly. “Oh yeah, I spoke up all right. I opened 3 Copyright © 2004 by Meryl Runion. Click here for terms of use.
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