Table Of Content

“This wonderful book is a treasure trove filled with gems of meaningful, important information and guidance. For those who struggle with ‘the Beast’ of depression, Horwitz provides valuable advice that is candid and practical. The ‘no-nonsense’ language cuts through the haze of jargon and technical talk, offering an accessible road map to remission and recovery.” —Robert N. Golden, MD, dean of the School of Medicine and Public Health, and processor in the department of psychiatry at the University of Wisconsin-Madison “Horwitz knows just how miserable men with severe depression feel. A clinical psychologist, he tells specific things a man can do to feel much better, without telling the lie that depression is easy to fix. He explains what is going on in the brain that keeps depression alive and how behavioral changes can reduce depression. His tone is conversational; his message is direct. I plan to buy a stack of this book and hand it to men I know who need to read it. “ —Barbara J. Myers, PhD, associate professor emerita and former director of the developmental psychology division at Virginia Commonwealth University, Richmond, VA “Horwitz’s powerful, no-nonsense guide for men experiencing severe depression is written with sincerity and compassion as he navigates a subject too often ignored. Depression is a serious illness and one of the top risk factors for suicide. Horwitz’s passion for this subject can be seen on each page as he provides practical, solution-based options for those struggling with the ‘Beast.’ It is, without a doubt, a book to share with your col- leagues, clients, and loved ones.” —Julie McIntyre, LCSW, MSW, retired clinical social worker for the department of psychiatry and emergency medicine at The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill “This brilliantly designed book could only have been written by a psychotherapist who has spent thousands of hours talking with men about depression. Horwitz has achieved remarkable things here. He has distilled the relevant research, and pre- sented it in a straightforward, short, but comprehensive form. The ideas are sound and easy to understand while never being oversimplified. This book provides a source of hope without ever underestimating the size of the challenge of overcoming depression. I think anyone who works with men in any capacity will want a stack of these to present at the right moments.” —David K. Donlon, LCSW, psychotherapist in Chapel Hill, NC, for thirty-five years; president of the American Academy of Psychotherapists “Depression—we know it’s there, but we can’t see it. Jonas Horwitz gives us a brilliant way to ‘see’ and deal with our depression. Revealing how we unwittingly feed a beast that weighs us down, Horwitz provides a way into—and through— the shadows of depression. Look through the windows of this book, as I have, let go of helplessness, and get on with meaningful living.” —Rev. Steven A. Ingram, DMin, LPCC, pastoral counselor “This book, How to Stop Feeling So Damn Depressed, by Jonas A. Horwitz, is just that: a commonsense, direct, honest, easy- to-read guide for men suffering from severe, debilitating, chronic depression. From the opening paragraph Horwitz com- municates directly to the men he is writing for in a way that makes it clear he is all about teaching men specific strategies they can use to gain control over their depression, which he calls ‘the Beast.’ His guide is creative, personal, educational, practical, and guided by research and years of experience as a therapist.” —Wendy Kliewer, PhD, professor and former chair in the department of psychology at Virginia Commonwealth University Stop How to Feeling n m a D S o Depressed The No BS Guide for Men JONAS A. HORWITZ, P D h New Harbinger Publications, Inc. Publisher’s Note This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought. Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books Copyright © 2018 by Jonas A. Horwitz New Harbinger Publications, Inc. 5674 Shattuck Avenue Oakland, CA 94609 www.newharbinger.com Cover design by Amy Shoup Acquired by Jess O’Brien Edited by James Lainsbury All Rights Reserved Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Names: Horwitz, Jonas A., author. Title: How to stop feeling so damn depressed : the no bs guide for men / Jonas A. Horwitz. Description: Oakland, CA : New Harbinger Publications, 2018. | Includes bibliographical references. Identifiers: LCCN 2018031432 (print) | LCCN 2018033125 (ebook) | ISBN 9781684032129 (PDF e-book) | ISBN 9781684032136 (ePub) | ISBN 9781684032112 (paperback) Subjects: LCSH: Men--Psychology. | Depression in men. | Cognitive therapy. | BISAC: SELF-HELP / Depression. | SOCIAL SCIENCE / Men’s Studies. | PSYCHOLOGY / Psychopathology / Depression. Classification: LCC BF692.5 (ebook) | LCC BF692.5 .H667 2018 (print) | DDC 155.3/32--dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018031432 Contents Introduction 1 Chapter 1 What Is Severe Depression? 7 Chapter 2 What Starves the Beast? 51 Chapter 3 Interpersonal Relationships 93 Chapter 4 Depression and Psychotherapy 123 Conclusion Do Something to Starve the Beast Every Day 133 Acknowledgments 137 Resources 139 References 141 Introduction What you are holding in your hand is an intensely personal guide. I wrote it specifically for men such as yourself, who feel horrible and want to know if there is anything they can do to feel better. While there are approximately 10 million American men who are at this moment severely depressed (NIMH 2017), this guide is not written for them. It is written for you. If you are looking for a textbook that summarizes treat- ments for all the different types of depression, then you have the wrong book in your hands. This is not a comprehensive work of that type, nor does it provide a simple ten-step program that will magically take away all of your problems. This is also not a book for men who are simply feeling down because they had a lousy day, or because their team lost last night. It is not for men who are “out of sorts,” or who are “just feeling kind of moody lately.” It is specifically for men who experience severe depression. You and I will probably never meet, yet I wrote this book as though you are sitting right in front of me in my office—as though I am talking directly to you. I feel it is very important to speak about severe depression in a clear, straightforward manner, and I will not cover anything that I think is BS. For example, I am not going to pretend that there is one easy trick you have to learn that will make your depression disappear