Guru Activities - A Practicum For Dealing With Isolation

339 Pages·2020·6.843 MB·English

by  Kevin Vandeyck Ph.D

2020

Published by GKauger Puub Alicactitoinvs ities
First Edition ©2020
ISBN 978-1-71689-635-4
Disclaimer
No part of this book may be reproduced or transferred in any form or by any
means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording,
taping, or by any information storage retrieval system, without the written
permission of the authors.
The accuracy and completeness of information provided herein and opinions
stated herein are not guaranteed or warranted to produce any particular
results and the advice and strategies, contained herein may not be suitable
for every individual in every situation. The authors shall not be liable for any
liability incurred as a consequence of the use and application, directly or
indirectly, of any information presented in this work. This publication is
designed to provide information in regard to the subject matter covered only.
This manual is not an instructional manual. It is to be used as a reference in
conjunction with instruction from a qualified and certified instructor.
Physical training in the techniques described herein should be done under
the direct supervision of an instructor and with caution. Inaccurate
application of technique can result in injury. As with any physical training,
please consult with a physician before engaging in any increased physical
activity. Before any change to your physical exercise level you should see
your health care provider for a physical and medical clearance.
Unless this publication states otherwise, masculine nouns and pronouns do
not refer exclusively to men. No gender bias is implied or to be inferred in
any way.
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Guru Activities
DEDICATION

To my amazing wife Adrianna, who keeps me sane when the world
around me is going crazy!
If I have to be isolated with anyone, I am happiest that it is you!

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Guru Activities

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Table of Contents Guru Activities
DEDICATION .............................................................................................. 3
FOREWORD .............................................................................................. 15
WELCOME! ............................................................................................... 17
CAUTIONS!! .............................................................................................. 18
WHEN TO DELAY THE START OF AN EXERCISE PROGRAM ........................... 19
GUIDELINES AND PRECAUTIONS FOR STRETCHING: ................................... 19
WHAT IS A GURU? ..................................................................................... 20
OTHER DEFINITIONS ................................................................................... 20
THOUGHTS .................................................................................................. 20
A STORY - THE OBSTACLE IN OUR PATH ...................................................... 21
MODELS OF WELLNESS .............................................................................. 22
ILLNESS-WELLNESS CONTINUUM: .............................................................. 22
ICEBERG MODEL ......................................................................................... 23
SPIRITUAL WELLNESS ................................................................................ 26
WHY IS SPIRITUAL WELLNESS IMPORTANT? ............................................... 26
THE ROUTE TO SPIRITUAL WELLNESS ......................................................... 26
SEISHIN TEKI KYOYO (SPIRITUAL AWAKENING) .......................................... 28
SELF REFLECTION ........................................................................................ 28
WHAT YOU NEED TO LEARN ABOUT YOURSELF CHECKLIST ................... 31
YOUR “WHY” .......................................................................................... 31
YOUR VALUES ......................................................................................... 32
YOUR MOTIVATIONS .............................................................................. 32
HOW YOU LEARN ................................................................................... 33
YOUR HABITS .......................................................................................... 34
YOUR STRENGTHS AND ABILITIES .......................................................... 35
YOUR PERSONALITY ............................................................................... 35
YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE .......................................................... 36
YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE ........................................................................ 36
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ANYTHING HOLDING YOU BACKG ...u....r...u.... .A.....c...t..i..v....i..t..i..e....s... ................ 37
TATSUJIN NO TOKUSEI (TRAITS OF THE GURU) ........................................... 38
LONELINESS .............................................................................................. 40
WHAT IS LONELINESS .................................................................................. 40
HOW DOES LONELINESS AFFECT PEOPLE? .................................................. 40
HOW COMMON IS LONELINESS? ................................................................ 41
HARMFUL EFFECTS OF SOCIAL ISOLATION .................................................. 41
COMMON CAUSES OF LONELINESS ............................................................ 43
LOW SELF-ESTEEM ...................................................................................... 44
NEGATIVE ATTITUDES ................................................................................. 44
SELF-PITY ................................................................................................ 44
SELF-CENTEREDNESS .............................................................................. 45
ANGER .................................................................................................... 45
FEAR ....................................................................................................... 45
SITUATIONAL CAUSE ................................................................................... 45
SPIRITUAL CAUSES ...................................................................................... 46
NOTE: ..................................................................................................... 46
IS THERE HOPE? .......................................................................................... 46
HOW SHOULD WE RESPOND? .................................................................... 47
CORRECTING NEGATIVE ATTITUDES .......................................................... 48
EXAMPLE OF NEGATIVE AUTOMATIC THOUGHT: .................................. 56
EXAMPLE OF POSITIVE CONSCIOUS THOUGHT; ..................................... 56
THE FIX ........................................................................................................ 56
THE PROCESS .......................................................................................... 59
MINDSET .................................................................................................. 61
RIGID MINDSET ........................................................................................... 63
AVOID CHALLENGES ............................................................................... 63
HANDICAPS ............................................................................................ 64
EFFORT ................................................................................................... 64
CRITIQUE ................................................................................................ 64
ACCOMPLISHMENTS OF OTHERS ........................................................... 65
SUMMARY .............................................................................................. 65
FLEXIBLE MINDSET ...................................................................................... 66
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EMBRACE CHALLENGES ............G.....u....r...u.... .A.....c...t..i..v....i..t..i..e....s... ................ 66
PERSIST AND ENDURE ............................................................................ 66
SEE EFFORT AS THE PATH TO PERSONAL GROWTH ............................... 66
LEARN FROM THE CRITIQU OF OTHERS ................................................. 66
BE HAPPY FOR OTHERS SUCCESS............................................................ 67
SUMMARY .............................................................................................. 67
SELF IMAGE ............................................................................................... 68
WHAT IS SELF IMAGE? ................................................................................ 68
WHERE DOES THIS IMAGE COME FROM? ................................................... 68
HOW DO YOU SEE YOURSELF? .................................................................... 69
TEST - WHAT IMAGE DO YOU HAVE OF YOURSELF? .................................... 70
RESULTS ...................................................................................................... 74
HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR IMAGE? .............................................................. 76
EXERCISE #1 ............................................................................................ 76
EXERCISE #2 ............................................................................................ 79
BUILDING SELF CONFIDENCE ..................................................................... 81
PLANNING ................................................................................................ 85
THE BENEFITS OF A PLAN ............................................................................ 85
PLANS SUCCEED WITH COMMITMENT ....................................................... 86
WHAT STOPS US FROM PLANNING EFFECTIVELY? ...................................... 86
HOW CAN WE MAKE PLANNING EASIER? ................................................... 86
MAKING PLANS FOR YOUR FUTURE ............................................................ 87
WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT A PLAN Z? .................................................... 88
DISCOVERY PHASE: BEFORE WE START ....................................................... 88
KEY ELEMENTS ....................................................................................... 88
END GOALS ................................................................................................. 93
USE MILESTONES TO MAKE YOUR END GOALS ACTIONABLE ................. 93
CHOOSE 1-3 FOCUS AREAS ..................................................................... 94
CHOOSE 1-3 DEVELOPMENT AREAS. ...................................................... 94
VISION BOARDS ...................................................................................... 94
DAILY QUESTIONS ....................................................................................... 95
DAILY QUESTIONS OF ROUTINE .................................................................. 96
DAILY ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS .................................................................. 96
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SHORT VERSION QUESTIONS .........G....u....r...u.... .A.....c...t..i..v....i..t..i..e....s... ................ 97
FEAR ......................................................................................................... 98
WE MUST CHALLENGE OUR FEARS ............................................................. 98
WE MUST REACH OUT TO OTHERS ............................................................. 98
CONTROLING YOUR FEAR ........................................................................... 98
WHERE DOES FEAR COME FROM? .............................................................. 99
WHAT IS MENTAL PRACTISE? .................................................................... 100
HOW TO CREATE MENTAL IMAGERY. ....................................................... 101
MAKING RELATIONSHIPS THAT WORK .................................................... 102
RAPPORT .................................................................................................. 103
WHOLE BODY MATCHING .................................................................... 106
CROSS MATCHING ................................................................................ 106
MOVEMENTS ........................................................................................ 107
PART MATCHING .................................................................................. 107
BREATHING .......................................................................................... 108
VOCAL PACING ..................................................................................... 109
INDIRECT MATCHING (CROSS - OVER MIRRORING) .................................. 110
HOW MUCH RAPPORT? ............................................................................ 111
RAPPORT THROUGH PHYSIOLOGY ............................................................ 112
TIPS FOR DEVELOPING GREAT RAPPORT .................................................. 113
LEARN NAMES ...................................................................................... 113
CHECK YOUR EGO AT THE DOOR .......................................................... 113
USE HUMOR ......................................................................................... 113
DO WHAT YOU ARE SAYING ................................................................. 114
SHARE YOUR HUMANNESS .................................................................. 114
ASK PEOPLE ABOUT THEMSELVES. ....................................................... 114
ELIMINATE NEGATIVE EMOTIONALITY ................................................. 114
DEAL WITH CONFLICT EFFECTIVELY ..................................................... 115
PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR NON-VERBAL BEHAVIOR ............................ 115
MATCH AND MIRROR ........................................................................... 115
SHARE PERSONAL INSIGHTS AND EXPERIENCES .................................. 115
SERVE BOTH SIDES OF THE BRAIN ........................................................ 116
OBSERVE AND LISTEN ........................................................................... 116
REMEMBER WHAT IT IS LIKE BEING ON THE OTHER END .................... 116
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SEEK HONEST FEEDBACK ..........G.....u....r...u.... .A.....c...t..i..v....i..t..i..e....s... .............. 116
METHODS FOR BUILDING RAPPORT ......................................................... 117
RAPPORT BUILDING EXERCISES ................................................................ 118
EXERCISE 1 ............................................................................................ 118
EXERCISE 2 ............................................................................................ 119
EXERCISE 3 ............................................................................................ 119
EXERCISE 4 ............................................................................................ 120
9 THINGS YOU CAN DO TO GAIN RAPPORT WITH STRANGERS .................. 120
SELF-DISCIPLINE ...................................................................................... 126
MENTAL TOXINS AND REMEDIES .............................................................. 133
CYNICISM .............................................................................................. 133
REMEDY TO CYNICISM .......................................................................... 135
NEGATIVISM ......................................................................................... 136
REMEDY TO NEGATIVISM ..................................................................... 137
DEFEATISM ........................................................................................... 140
REMEDY TO DEFEATISM ....................................................................... 142
ESCAPISM ............................................................................................. 143
REMEDY TO ESCAPISM ......................................................................... 145
DELAY ................................................................................................... 149
REMEDY TO DELAY ............................................................................... 151
MENTAL TOXIN’S SUMMARY ............................................................... 152
ESSENTIAL INFORMATION .................................................................... 152
SELF TALK................................................................................................ 154
UNDERSTANDING THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND ......................................... 154
SPECIFICS ABOUT THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND ...................................... 156
MAKING IT WORK ..................................................................................... 158
UNDERSTANDING SELF-DISCIPLINE .......................................................... 161
BLOCK BUSTING ........................................................................................ 163
TOXIC FEARS ........................................................................................... 165
FEAR OF FAILURE ...................................................................................... 165
EXERCISE – ABSOLUTELY WRONG ........................................................ 165
REVIEW OF EXERCISE ............................................................................ 166
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EXERCISE - EXPLORING FEAR OF FAGILUuREr .u.... .A.....c...t..i..v....i..t..i..e....s... .............. 170
A STORY - TRADING DIALOGUE FOR LODGING .................................... 173
EXERCISE – CHANGE WORK ON FEAR OF FAILURE .................................... 175
FEAR OF SUCCESS ..................................................................................... 177
EXERCISE - EXPLORING FEAR OF SUCCESS ............................................ 180
A STORY - MAYBE’S MOUSE... .............................................................. 183
FEAR OF REJECTION .................................................................................. 186
EXERCISE - EXPLORING FEAR OF REJECTION ........................................ 188
A STORY – WONDERING ....................................................................... 190
REJECTION SELF-ASSESSMENT ............................................................. 191
WHAT CAN CAUSE A FEAR OF REJECTION? .......................................... 192
EXERCISE – UNDERSTANDING YOUR OWN REJECTIONS ...................... 195
HANDLING REJECTION IN THE REAL WORLD ........................................ 196
EXERCISE FOR FUTURE REJECTION ....................................................... 197
FEAR OF MEDIOCRITY ............................................................................... 200
A STORY –THE STARFISH ...................................................................... 200
FEAR OF MEDIOCRITY – NEGATIVE CYCLE ............................................ 200
EXERCISE - FEAR OF MEDIOCRITY (NEGATIVE) ..................................... 203
WHAT IF NO ONE CARES ABOUT WHAT YOU CREATE OR DO? ............ 206
FEAR OF MEDIOCRITY – POSITIVE ASPECTS ......................................... 208
A STORY - THE MOUSE TRAP ................................................................ 211
FEAR OF RISKS ........................................................................................... 213
EXERCISE - FEAR OF RISKS .................................................................... 219
EXERCISE #2 – FEAR OF RISKS ............................................................... 221
SUMMARY ................................................................................................ 222
ADDING A PERSONAL UNDERSTANDING TO TOXIC FEARS ........................ 222
BREATHING TRAINING ............................................................................ 224
INTRODUCTION ........................................................................................ 224
THE BREATHING MUSCLES ........................................................................ 225
WHAT DOES BREATHING TRAINING DO? .................................................. 226
PURSED LIP BREATHING (PLB) ................................................................... 227
DEEP OR DIAPHRAGMATIC (BELLY) BREATHING ....................................... 228
RIB BREATHING ......................................................................................... 229
WHY DO THESE EXERCISES? ...................................................................... 229
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