Grammar sucks : what to do to make your writing much more better

260 Pages·2007·12.764 MB·English

by  Joanne Kimes, Gary Robert Muschla

Do you suffer from grammar- G
Grammar
phobia because . . .
r
Sucks
a
You’re so used to IMing, you’ve forgotten how to m
write a normal sentence. :-)
You’ve started thinking in rap lyrics. m
The last time you gave a report, your handouts
got you laughed out of the room. a
r
With Grammar Sucks, you can put your phobia to rest. Why else should
you keep your grammar skills sharp? Why, knowledge of grammar can S
help you:
u
• Go after that big promotion with flair
c
• Win at board games
k
• Write a love letter that’ll actually help you get
the girl (or guy) s
• Give an eloquent toast at the next
Friars’ Club roast
Following in the tradition of Joanne Kimes’s signature “let’s just
close our eyes and get through this together” humor, along with Gary What to Do
Robert Muschla’s gentle grammar technique, Grammar Sucks is for
everyone who hates the rules but wants to follow them anyway. It’s to Make
the next best thing to learning them by osmosis!
Your Writing
Kimes
Joanne Kimes is the coauthor of the bestsellers Pregnancy Sucks and Pregnancy Sucks for Men. She has with
written for a number of children’s and comedy television shows and lives with her husband and daughter Much More
Muschla
in Studio City, California. Gary Robert Muschla is a former teacher and is the author of several
books on writing, grammar, and teaching reading. He lives in New Jersey with his wife and daughter.
Better
$12.95 (CAN $15.95) Writing/Reference
ISBN-13: 978-1-59337-626-0
ISBN-10: 1-59337-626-X
Joanne Kimes with Gary Robert Muschla
www.adamsmedia.com

Grammar
Sucks
What to Do to Make Your Writing
Much More Better
Joanne Kimes
with Gary Robert Muschla
Adams Media
Avon, Massachusetts
Copyright ©2007, Joanne Kimes and Gary Robert Muschla.
All rights reserved.
This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any
form without permission from the publisher; exceptions are
made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.
Published by
Adams Media, an F+W Publications Company
57 Littlefield Street, Avon, MA 02322. U.S.A.
www.adamsmedia.com
ISBN 10: 1-59337-626-X
ISBN 13: 978-1-59337-626-0 (paperback)
ISBN-13: 978-1-44050-093-0 (EPUB)
Printed in the United States of America.
J I H G F E D C B A
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
available from the publisher
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative informa-
tion with regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the under-
standing that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting,
or other professional advice. If legal advice or other expert assistance is
required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought.
— From a Declaration of Principles jointly adopted by a Committee of the
American Bar Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associa-
tions
Many of the designations used by manufacturers and sellers to distinguish
their product are claimed as trademarks. Where those designations appear
in this book and Adams Media was aware of a trademark claim, the designa-
tions have been printed with initial capital letters.
This book is available at quantity discounts for bulk purchases.
For information, please call 1-800-289-0963.
For my incredible daughter, Emily.
I’m so glad you happened to me.
—J.K.
For Judy and Erin, as always.
—G.R.M.

C d p
contents
Part 1
Grammar Lite: Or, the Basics of the English Language . . . . . . 1
Chapter 1: The Boring Blocks of a Sentence...............3
Chapter 2: Putting All the Crap Together...............29
Chapter 3: Grammatical Hot Topics:
Global Warming in English Form ..................49
Chapter 4: The A-B-C’s of H-E-L-L....................77
Part 2
Intermediate Stuff: Or, Grammar Basics You Should
Know If You’re Going after That Promotion . . . . . . . . . . . . 87
Chapter 5: It’s All in the Details ......................89
Chapter 6: Mistakes That Should Not Be Made
on Your Resume................................99
Chapter 7: Putting the Pieces Together................119
Chapter 8: Miscellaneous Maladies ................... 131
Chapter 9: Who Needs to Know? ................ .... 151
Chapter 10: Why Can’t They All Just Get Along?........157
Chapter 11: One Last Thing Before You Die of Boredom...169

i grammar sucks
Part 3
How to Become That Annoying Person Who Critiques
Others . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 179
Chapter 12: From Santa and Beyond: The Different
Types of Clauses ............................... 181
Chapter 13: The Study of Phraseology.................195
Chapter 14: These Are a Few of My Least Favorite Things..205
Chapter 15: Tips to Tip the Grammar Scale in Your Favor..217
Chapter 16: Some Final Thoughts....................235
Index . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 243
acknowledgments
Thanks, Gary Muschla, the best coauthor and grammar
expert ever. Without you, this would just be a book filled
with silly jokes.
Thanks to Jennifer Kushnier, the best editor ever. With-
out you, this would be a book filled with misdirection.
And finally, thanks to Jeff Herman, the best agent ever.
Without you there’d be no book at all. Thanks for “fixing me
up” with Gary Muschla so that I could even consider doing
it. We’re both very grateful!
ii