Table Of Content

Goodbye Hong Kong Hello Xianggang Ni^'/ Digitized by the Internet Archive in 2009 with funding from IVIulticultural Canada; University of Toronto Libraries http://www.archive.org/details/goodbyehongkonghOOvitt GoodbyeHongKong,HelloXianggang byNuryVittachi Editedby StephanieMitchell ArtDirectedby AndrewRutherford CoverIllustrationby RobinWhyler \SouthChinaMorningPostBook Ca«vada-HongKongResourceCt-Ur^ ISi»*>ncCnutm.KaIII*TorcMo.C^i.^, wi;;i.\i Allrightsreserved.Thisbookissoldsubject totheconditionthatitshallnot,bywayof tradeorotherwise,belent,resold,hired out,orotherwisecirculatedwithoutthe publisher'spriorconsentinanyformof bindingorcoverotherthanthatinwhichit ispublishedandwithoutasimilarcondition includingthisconditionbeingimposedon thesubsequentpublisher.ThisIncludes electronicversions.Themoralrightofthe authorhasbeenasserted. GoodbyeHongKong,HelloXianggang ©NuryVittachi,1997 ASouthChinaMorningPostBook PublishedbyO'DonaldPublications ISBN962-815-04-6 PrintedinHongKongbyMidasPrintingLtd FirstImpression,March1997 BookOne:Howtobetakenover Phaseone: GoodbyeHongKong,HelloXianggang Phasetwo: WhatYouNeedToKnow Phasethree: TheHistoryOfHongKong (1)(AnexclusiveinterviewwithBritishhistorian theRtHonTerrySinter-Waffle) (2)(AnexclusiveinterviewwithHoChi-kin, geomancerandalmanacwriter) Phasefour: GuideToTheGovernors Phasefive: TheName'sBon.Tsim-seeBon. Phasesix: Veni.Vidi.Vici.Video. Phaseseven: WhatAGoodSport- AgentleallegoryofHongKongpolitics BookTwo:LouiseFraudandtheimmensetailor InHongKong,wondersnevercease 1.ThisCallerIsBeingTerminated (Transcriptsofrealtelephoneconversations! 2.HowToBecomeAPropertyTycoon (Atruestoryofintrigueandgreed) 3.AndTheWinnerIs... (Awardsforthosewhoaddedtothesumofhumanhilarity) 4.LouiseFraudAndTheImmenseTailor (Businessesactuallyoperateunderthesenames) 5.CityOnAStaircase (AvignetteofHongKonglife) 6.ThePresident'sMassage (Memorable"misprunts"fromaroundtheregion) 7.YourUncensoredChineseHoroscope (DrFungrevealsall) 8.TheUltimate"OnlyInHongKong"Stories (Believeit) 9.OurJobIsToEnjoyYou (Advertisingslogansyou'llneverforget) 10.JointVenture (Ofhandcuffsandsufferingforone'sart) 11.SomeoneActuallySaidThat? (Yourearsaren'tplayingtricks) 12.ThisIsYourCaptainShrieking (Anoteforbusmesstravellers) 13.PlayItAgain,Ah-Sum (Avignettefromaruralisland) 14.MovingExperiences (HowtogetaroundinHongKong) 15.AcneChanAndTheWonderfulBasket (Thesenamesarereal,I'msorrytosay) 16.TheGreatTandooriMystery (Internationalcuisine:anappetiser) 17.AllVegetariansDigestedHere (Amaincourse) 18.HutchLifeAndFatalTights (Productsyouneed) 19.BlocksAndblockheads (NamesofbuildingsinHongKong) 20.MeanBusiness (Anecdotesfromtheworldofcommerce) 21.ThePerfectCrime...Not (Dumbcriminalstories) 22.TheTruthAboutSantaClaus (Christmas:MadeinAsia)