Deviced!: Balancing Life and Technology in a Digital World

269 Pages·2018·1.105 MB·English

by  Doreen Dodgen-Magee

Praise for Deviced!: Balancing Life
and Technology in a Digital World
“In a world of conflicting reports telling us technology is either wonder-
ful or wicked, healthy or harmful, Deviced! is a total game changer. Espe-
cially for parents. How do we help our kids—and ourselves—use devices
to harness all the advantages technology has to offer our modern lives,
while also being savvy and wise about the pitfalls and long-term effects?
Doreen Dodgen-Magee banishes our media-elated guilt in favor of teach-
ing intentional and actionable practices that enhance our relationships
with each other to carry us through this era and beyond. Highly recom-
mend!” —Beth Woolsey, writer and popular parenting blogger of “Five
Kids Is a Lot of Kids”
“As technology advances at breakneck speed and we, with our fitness
trackers and smart watches, measure and record every step of its prog-
ress, Doreen is paying careful attention to the deeper ramifications. With
the keen eye of a researcher and the warm heart of a friend, parent, and
teacher, Doreen shares invaluable insight into life in the tech age. Her
goal in this book is not to call us back to calculators and rotary phones,
but rather to remind us of the value of ‘fiery, embodied lives’—lives that
use technology for our benefit without stunting our own relational and
developmental growth. This book is an invaluable tool as all of us wrestle
for control over the most important spaces in our lives, the spaces we
share with each other.” —Tracy Balzer, author of Permission to Ponder:
Contemplative Wisdom for the Spiritually Distracted
“Dodgen-Magee does what most who have written about the impact of
technology on youth and adults haven’t been able to do—recognize and
help us sort out the complexity that technology has introduced into our
lives. Rather than build a case for the ‘evils’ or the ‘gifts,’ she acknowl-
edges and explains that what we do with technology in our lives is com-
plex and cannot be simply designated as good or bad. Dodgen-Magee
provides compelling and useful ways to think about how we might more
consciously engage or not engage with technology. This, however, is not
a simple self-help book. You will finish the book understanding yourself
better because you have explored the intricacies of what you value and
what makes you human.” —Candyce Reynolds, PhD, chair, educational
leadership and policy, professor, postsecondary, adult and continuing
education, Portland State University
“Deviced! is a work of hope and compassion. In this rare book, Dodgen-
Magee asks us to notice the altered aliveness devices offer and to consider
wholesome alternatives, breaking ground for a middle path many of
us seek. Doreen reminds us that we’re humans and articulates our in-
nate yearning for play, wonder, love, longing, and a delight in the experi-
ence of being alive. This work is unique in not just cataloging tech disrup-
tors but in offering a hand and guidance toward the healing needed to set
and monitor attachment boundaries between tech and self.” —Jon Male,
founder, Mindfuls
“Dodgen-Magee, a world authority on the topic of the rational and safe
use of the Internet, gracefully reminds us that technology can serve rather
than enslave us, that we need to be mindful not to let engagement with
devices steal the richness and joy of life from us and our loved ones.
Through her creative ‘Take Action’ sections in the book, she teaches us
that an act as simple as eye contact, safe touch, or respectful dialogue can
ground us, open channels of communication, and build bridges of trust,
so we can continue to remain human even when deviced. In other words,
we don’t have to turn into machines or check out when we log in! It is in-
deed a choice to be human. Deviced! serves as a much-needed and timely
guide as to how to do just that in our increasingly digital world.” —Omar
Reda, MD, psychiatrist and trauma expert, founder of the untangled
model of psycho-social care for refugees and trauma survivors
“This is a much-needed book for our time. Dodgen-Magee presents a
balanced, nuanced, and compassionate view of the impact devices have
on our development. This book is not only about our use of devices; it is
about our shared humanity. Doreen calls all of us to engage technology
thoughtfully and reflectively so we become more relationally connected
and more human. You will come away challenged and enriched.” —Todd
W. Hall, PhD, professor of psychology, Biola University, chief scientist,
The Connection Culture Group
“Dr. Dodgen-Magee extensively explores the impact of digital culture on
individual lives in a compassionate and humble way. She approaches the
subject with a genuine care for her reader while remaining honest to the
real dangers of losing one’s embodied self to digital spaces. I love this
book because it focuses on mending, not condemning, the technology
user to regain an authentic and relational experience in today’s society.”
—James Haendiges, PhD, associate professor, Dixie State University
“Deviced! is an essential book for all of us navigating the world of technol-
ogy. Doreen carefully guides the reader to look at the research, the won-
ders, the dangers, and the opportunities that exist in the digital world. . . .
This book unfolds the story of the digital age and gives us information on
how technology has impacted all aspects of our lives including our per-
sonal relationships, our ways of entertaining and soothing ourselves, and
the way our brains receive information. But this is not a doom-and-gloom
book. Doreen celebrates the things that technology is bringing us, and she
invites us to embrace technology with moderation.” —Lynea Gillen, co-
founder, Yoga Calm for Kids, award-winning author of Yoga Calm for Kids
and Good People Everywhere
“Oh, my goodness! Grab this book now! The introduction alone will in-
spire you to want to share Deviced! with everyone you care about. . . .This
is the first book to profoundly transform my understanding of Big Tech’s
deep impact on a brain-changing, cellular level, to offer practical assess-
ments of what’s healthy and what’s not when it comes to device engage-
ment, and to propose mindful solutions to tech overuse. As Dodgen-Ma-
gee describes, we have come to rely so much on our devices to entertain,
soothe, stimulate, and distract us that we miss out on opportunities for
deep, authentic, face-to-face connection and for building and strengthen-
ing life skills—something critical to consider especially when it comes to
our precious children.” —Kathy Masarie, MD, pediatrician, life coach,
and author of Face to Face: Cultivating Kids’ Social Lives in Today’s Digital
World
“Researched and thorough, Deviced! examines both the benefits and
challenges of device-filled living, taking a close, hard look at the costs of
technology on both our internal and relational lives. Doreen’s secret sauce
in Deviced! is sharing a brilliant array of action steps for turning inward
and feeding our embodied selves.” —Elsbeth Martindale, PsyD, clinical
psychologist and author of Things to Know Before You Say “Go”

Deviced!
Balancing Life and Technology
in a Digital World
doreen dodgen-magee
ROWMAN & LITTLEFIELD
Lanham • Boulder • New York • London
Published by Rowman & Littlefield
A wholly owned subsidiary of The Rowman & Littlefield Publishing Group, Inc.
4501 Forbes Boulevard, Suite 200, Lanham, Maryland 20706
www.rowman.com
Unit A, Whitacre Mews, 26-34 Stannary Street, London SE11 4AB
Copyright © 2018 by The Rowman & Littlefield Publishing Group, Inc.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by
any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval
systems, without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer
who may quote passages in a review.
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Information Available
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Available
Library of Congress Control Number: 2018950973
ISBN 978-1-5381-1584-8 (cloth: alk. paper)
ISBN 978-1-5381-1585-5 (electronic)
™
The paper used in this publication meets the minimum requirements of
American National Standard for Information Sciences—Permanence of Paper
for Printed Library Materials, ANSI/NISO Z39.48-1992.
Printed in the United States of America
For Thomas, Connor, and Kaija.
Thank you for being
my most important teachers
and for indulging this
wild experiment called life
alongside me.

Contents
Contents
Contents
Acknowledgments xi
Introduction: How to Read This Book xiii
Part I: How Devices Are Impacting Us
1. There’s No Such Thing as IRL 1
2. This Applies to You (and Me and Every Other Person) 7
3. Living Outside Our Skin 17
4. Our Bodies and Brains on Tech 37
5. Technology and Relationships 63
6. Technology and the Self 87
Part II: Moving with Intention Toward a Grounded Self
7. The Fertile Ground of Idle Time 125
8. Cultivating an Internal Locus of Control 137
Part III: Telling Ourselves the Truth and Finding
a New Balance
9. Habits and Norms 155
10. Assessing Our Technology Use and Making Adjustments 165
11. Spotting Points and the Fiery Life 193
12. Getting to Decide (and Being Cheered on for Doing So!) 203
Appendix
Discussion Questions and Suggestions for Further Exploration 207
Technology Pyramid Worksheet 209
Technology Assessment Chart 210