Developing Resilience: A Cognitive-Behavioural Approach

200 Pages·2017·0.66 MB·English

by  Michael Neenan

Developing Resilience
Some individuals emerge from grim experiences stronger in mind and spirit than
others who suffered the same ordeal. In this updated and revised edition, Michael
Neenan focuses on the meanings we attach to life’s adversities in order to under-
stand how we respond to them. This is why different people can react to the same
adverse event in a variety of ways such as fighting back or crumbling. Different
meanings of what constitutes resilience are also discussed and the author takes
issue with the simplistic view of it as bouncing back from adversity which sug-
gests the absence of struggle and emotional pain as well as underestimating how
long the process of self-righting can sometimes take.
Developing Resilience shows how people can find constructive ways of
dealing with hard times by using the ideas and techniques of cognitive behav-
ioural therapy as well as drawing on the viewpoints and experiences of other
writers presented here. This book provides useful guidance and advice on topics
including:
• managing negative emotions in difficult times
• using an assets and liabilities model to understand resilient behaviour
• distinguishing between what’s within and outside of your control
• identifying and changing attitudes that undermine resilience building
• developing self-belief
• increasing your level of frustration tolerance
• maintaining a resilient outlook.
This book will be essential reading for anyone interested in learning more about
resilience as well as for mental health professionals, coaches and therapists look-
ing for guidance in helping their clients to cope better with adversity.
Michael Neenan is a former Associate Director of the Centre for Stress Man-
agement and Centre for Coaching, Blackheath. He works in private practice as a
cognitive behaviour therapist and coach. He is the author (with Windy Dryden) of
Life Coaching: A Cognitive Behavioural Approach (2nd edn., 2014).

Developing Resilience
A Cognitive-Behavioural Approach
Second Edition
Michael Neenan
Second edition published 2018
by Routledge
2 Park Square, Milton Park, Abingdon, Oxon OX14 4RN
and by Routledge
711 Third Avenue, New York, NY 10017
Routledge is an imprint of the Taylor & Francis Group, an informa business
 2018 Michael Neenan
The right of Michael Neenan to be identified as author of this work
has been asserted by him in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of
the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reprinted or
reproduced or utilised in any form or by any electronic, mechanical,
or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including
photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or
retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publishers.
Trademark notice: Product or corporate names may be trademarks
or registered trademarks, and are used only for identification and
explanation without intent to infringe.
First published 2009 by Routledge
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data
A catalog record for this book has been requested
ISBN: 978-0-415-79289-9 (hbk)
ISBN: 978-0-415-79291-2 (pbk)
ISBN: 978-1-315-18917-8 (ebk)
Typeset in Times New Roman
by Swales & Willis Ltd, Exeter, Devon, UK
To Laurence, my resilient son.

Contents
List of illustrations viii
Preface ix
1 What is resilience? 1
2 Attitude: the heart of resilience 19
3 Attitudes that undermine resilience building 37
4 Making yourself more resilient 54
5 Strengths underpinning resilience 71
6 Resilience in the workplace 92
7 Resilience in relationships 116
8 Resilience in dealing with difficult people 139
9 Maintaining resilience 161
10 An overview of resilience 174
References 180
Index 184
Illustrations
Figure
9.1 Learning diary 166
Tables
2.1 Emotions, themes and possible beliefs 31
2.2 Emotion and behaviour 31
Box
1.1 What is resilience? Neenan and Dryden’s view 17
Preface
Why is it that one person can withstand multiple crises while another
crumbles in the face of the slightest misfortune? Or that people who
emerge from the same grim ordeal can have very different reactions to
it? For example, some people are determined, after what they’ve been
through, to lead purposeful, fulfilling lives, whereas others see them-
selves as embittered victims whose lives will be forever blighted by
the experience. What accounts for these marked differences? In read-
ing many biographies and autobiographies of individuals who have been
through very dark times, what stood out for me was their will to prevail,
to find some meaning to hold on to until brighter times arrived. In other
words, they demonstrated resilience.
Similarly, as a cognitive behavioural therapist and coach (improving
performance in selected areas), I teach my clients the foundation of CBT
theory and practice: it’s the meaning (attitudes and beliefs) we attach to
events, not the events themselves, that largely determines how we react
to them. Therefore, revealing your attitudes is crucial to understanding
your response to adversity. (It’s important how this message is conveyed
to avoid appearing to blame clients for having the ‘wrong’ attitudes
when facing hard times.)
In this book, client case examples are used to illustrate resilience
in action. To provide a realistic picture of therapy and coaching, some
clients who didn’t make progress with their difficulties have also been
included. In order to protect their identity, the clients presented are com-
posite characters. Most of the problems they dealt with were largely
within the realms of what you might expect to experience in your life-
time. For the sake of clarity, some of my conversations with clients are
not verbatim, but have been reconstructed to stress certain points without
the accompanying verbal clutter of rambling, verbosity, humming and
hawing, and going off at tangents.