Characteristics of a "Good Enough" Parent

16 Pages·2013·1.13 MB·English

by  The Falcon

When should we terminate rights?
Characteristics of a
“Good Enough” Parent
Douglas Goldsmith, Ph.D.
Executive Director
The Children’s Center
Overview
(cid:1)Understanding Attachment
(cid:1)Characteristics of good enough parenting
(cid:1)Implications for decisions regarding parental
rights
Understanding Attachment
1
When does attachment begin?
Attachment and trauma
(cid:1)Now picture:
(cid:1)The couple is
debating keeping
the pregnancy
(cid:1)A month from now
they will be
engaging in a high
conflict separation
When does attachment begin?
2
Attachment and trauma
(cid:1)Now picture:
(cid:1)This is the birth
mother’s sister who
has been providing
care inconsistently
for the past three
months
(cid:1)The birth mother is
in drug rehab
When does attachment begin?
Attachment and trauma
(cid:1)Now picture:
(cid:1) His aunt is working hard
to cheer him up. He
just witnessed yet
another bout of
domestic violence
between his birth
parents.
(cid:1) His mother is
hospitalized… again.
3
Bonding
(cid:1)The emotional and
physical attachment
occurring between a
parent or parent
figure, especially a
mother, and
offspring, that
usually begins at
birth and is the basis
for further emotional
affiliation.
Bonding and Attachment
(cid:1)Bonding:
(cid:1)refers to the feelings caregivers have toward
their infant or child
(cid:1)Attachment:
(cid:1)Refers to the feelings of the child toward the
caregiver.
(cid:1)Reactive Attachment Disorder:
(cid:1)Both bonding and attachment are impaired
Hanson & Spratt (2000)
Critical Period for Attachment
(cid:1)Bonding experiences lead to healthy
attachments when provided during first years
of life.
(cid:1)Human brain develops to 90 percent of adult
size during first three years and creates
neuronal connections that support future
emotional, behavioral, social, and
physiological functioning
Perry (2001)
4
Bonding Experiences
(cid:1)Holding, rocking, singing, feeding, gazing,
kissing and other nurturing behaviors
(cid:1)Time together
(cid:1)Face to face interactions, eye contact
(cid:1)Physical proximity, touch
(cid:1)Positive physical contact leads to normal
organization of brain systems responsible for
attachment
Perry (2001)
Good Enough Parenting
(cid:1)First used by Winnicott
(cid:1)It is unhelpful and unrealistic to demand
perfection of parents
(cid:1)Vast majority of parents are, in all practical
aspects, good-enough to meet their children’s
needs
Components of good-enough
parenting
(cid:1)Children need physical care, nutrition, and
protection
(cid:1)They also need:
(cid:1)Love, care, and commitment
(cid:1)Consistent limit setting
(cid:1)Facilitation of development
Archives of Disease in Childhood
1998 (78) 293-396
M. Hoghughi& ANP Speight
5
Love, care and commitment
(cid:1)Feeling of being loved consistently and
unconditionally
(cid:1)Understanding that the parents’commitment
is unwaivering
Control/consistent limit setting
(cid:1)Setting and enforcing boundaries to help the
child in his/her dealing with the outside world.
(cid:1)Boundaries demonstrate to the child what is
unacceptable behavior given the child’s
developmental stage.
(cid:1)Enforcement involves clear actions of reward
or disciplinary sanctions to ensure
compliance with boundaries.
Facilitation of development
(cid:1)The ability to foster a child’s development to
enable the child to reach his/her full potential.
(cid:1)From physical and intellectual to moral and
spiritual.
6
Attachment Behavior
(cid:1)A child’s attachment
behavior is activated
especially by pain,
fatigue, and
anything frightening,
and also by the
mother being or
appearing to be
inaccessible.
Secure Attachment
(cid:1)The caregiver is perceived as a reliable
source of protection and comfort
The caregiving relationship
(cid:1)Provides security and safety necessary for
children to master an array of competencies
including:
(cid:1)The ability to self-regulate
(cid:1)Develop positive relationships
(cid:1)Acquire cognitive skills needed for learning
(cid:1)Foundation for self and identity formation
Arvidson(2011)
7
Secure Base
(cid:1)The infant returns to the secure base for
protection and comfort in the light of any
threatening or distressing event
Secure Attachment
(cid:1) Attachment is a reciprocal
relationship
(cid:1) The parent offers caregiving
behavior that matches the
attachment behavior of the
child
(cid:1) The child, using social
referencing, checks in with
the mother “looking for cues
that sanction exploration or
withdrawal”
Holmes (1993)
Cooper, Hoffman, Marvin &Powell , 2000
8
Attachment Theory
(cid:1) When I am close to my loved one I feel good, when I
am far away I am anxious, sad or lonely
(cid:1) Attachment is mediated by looking, hearing, and
holding
(cid:1) When I’m held I feel warm, safe, and comforted
(cid:1) Results in a relaxed state so that one can, again,
begin to explore
Holmes (1993)
Mothers of Secure Infants
(cid:1)Continuously monitor the infant’s state
(cid:1)Accurately interpret the signal for attention
(cid:1)Act accordingly to meet the infant’s needs
Anxious Attachment
(cid:1)Lack experience with consistent availability and
comfort
(cid:1)Attachment behaviors are responded to with:
(cid:1)Indifference
(cid:1)Rebuffs
(cid:1)Inconsistency
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Anxious Attachment
(cid:1)Anxious about caregiver’s availability
(cid:1)Afraid that the caregiver will be unresponsive
or ineffective in providing comfort
(cid:1)Experience anger about caregivers
unresponsiveness
Children with disorders of attachment
(cid:1)Abused, rejected and neglected children
develop adaptive strategies based on control,
avoidance, and arrested affect.
(cid:1)When they join new families they bring with
them the fearful-aggressive controlling
behaviors developed in early years
(cid:1)Placements run high risk of major difficulties
Howe & Fearnly(2003)
Disorders of attachment
(cid:1)Reflect the history of the caregiving
relationship.
(cid:1)The child enters foster or kinship care with a
host of behavioral and emotional issues.
(cid:1)These issues are not only problematic for the
new caregiver but raise serious issues
regarding the birth parent’s ability to
develop the skills necessary to repair the
parent child relationship.
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