Boss of Busy: Combat Burn Out and Get Clear on What Matters

203 Pages·2019·1.87 MB·English

by  Alison Hill

BOSS
OF
BUSY
Combat Burn Out and
Get Clear on What Matters
ALISON HILL
First published as Stand Out in 2016 by John Wiley & Sons Australia, Ltd 42 McDougall St, Milton Qld
4064
Office also in Melbourne
This edition first published in 2019 by John Wiley & Sons Australia, Ltd
© Pragmatic Thinking Pty Ltd 2016
The moral rights of the author have been asserted

All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the Australian Copyright Act 1968 (for example, a fair
dealing for the purposes of study, research, criticism or review), no part of this book may be reproduced,
stored in a retrieval system, communicated or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior written
permission. All inquiries should be made to the publisher at the address above.
Internal figure designs by Kym Davis
Disclaimer
The material in this publication is of the nature of general comment only, and does not represent
professional advice. It is not intended to provide specific guidance for particular circumstances and it
should not be relied on as the basis for any decision to take action or not take action on any matter which it
covers. Readers should obtain professional advice where appropriate, before making any such decision. To
the maximum extent permitted by law, the author and publisher disclaim all responsibility and liability to
any person, arising directly or indirectly from any person taking or not taking action based on the
information in this publication.
For all the Catherine's, Cath's and Kate's in my world.
CONTENTS
About the author
Preface
Introduction:The four parts to creating a passionate life
Part I So, who is the boss?
Chapter 1 Get clear on what matters
LET'S CHECK THE PULSE
They've sold us a lemon
What if i fail?
Meeting the two drivers of change
Notes
Chapter 2 Know your state
Finding one purpose is not your pursuit
What's each state costing you?
What you need to invest in for each state
The pursuit of calm (not happiness)
Note
Part II Step out of check out
Chapter 3 Hit the reset button
From martyr to warrior
Reset — do it your way
The reset toolbox
Reset rituals
Notes
Chapter 4 Re-establish boundaries
From victim to validated
The three myths about boundaries
Listen to the niggles
Four tools to set boundaries that stick
Set it — the universe will test it
In the everyday moments
Notes
Chapter 5 Reconnect with what matters
From cynical to grateful
Self-harm versus self-calm
Reconnect to what you are awesome at — your strengths
It's time to own it (time that is)
Notes
Part III Combat burn out
Chapter 6 Define what’s important
The cost of burn out
The universal truth
Your values — from obscure to clear
Listen to the rumblings
The bullshit of balance
Notes
Chapter 7 Design a values-aligned life
From diminished to amplified
Refresh and redesign
Notes
Chapter 8 Defend the sacred
From exposed to protected
Draw the line
Leadership: defend what's sacred in your workplace
Know the ‘why' behind the ‘what'
Note
Part IV Tackle freak out
Chapter 9 Map it
From blindfolded to blueprint
Getting found when we're feeling lost
Five essential components of maps
Track the action that gets the traction
Don't overthink it
Chapter 10 Chunk it
From idea to action
Harnessing dopamine
Work like a rock star
Break it down
Decision-making
Chapter 11 See it
From hidden to visible
The four archenemies of progress (and their antidotes)
Let's get visual
Doing it anyway
Notes
Part V Embrace stand out
Chapter 12 Be present
From blindsided to bold
Success has knobs on it
Fear — can it be your friend?
The curse of action for distraction
Cultivating boldness
Chapter 13 Do it your way
From trend-getter to trendsetter
Disruption breeds innovation
Experimentation mindset
Amplify your hidden trendsetter genius
Fly your freak flag
Chapter 14 Gather your tribe
From cut-off to community
Reach out
The right peeps for the right purpose
Invest in others
Create your community
So, where are you at?
Conclusion
Boss of busy planner
Acknowledgements
End User License Agreement
List of Illustrations
Chapter 1
Figure 1.1: purpose continuum
Figure 1.2: progress continuum
Chapter 2
Figure 2.1: Check Out
Figure 2.2: Burn Out
Figure 2.3: Freak Out
Figure 2.4: Stand Out Model™
Figure 2.5: costs in the four states
Figure 2.6: costs and investments in the four states
Chapter 5
Figure 5.1: accept what is, drive what could be
Chapter 13
Figure 13.1: the experimentation mindset
About the author

Ali Hill* is Australia's coolest Psychologist. A regular in mainstream TV and
print media, she is the co-founder of Pragmatic Thinking, a behaviour and
motivation strategy company that carries a client list such as Pepsico, Suncorp,
McDonalds, Bond University and Siemens to name a few.
Ali is the co-author of best-selling business book Dealing with the Tough Stuff:
How to achieve results from key conversations, which has been translated into 3
languages and is in its 2nd edition. An international and in-demand keynote
speaker and even more in-demand mum.
Ali is highly sought after to assist individuals, teams and organisations transition
through change. She presents her unique and authentic message through
engaging humour, practicality and real-world thinking, In her spare time she
turns her hand to cooking and knitting, neither of these very successfully. So Ali
has decided to keep focusing on what she does best — starting a global
conversation about what it takes to live a Stand Out life. It does mean there will
be no home-baked goods or a knitting corner in any work she delivers … sorry if
this is a deal-breaker.
NOTE
* yep, here I am talking about myself in the third person. Indulge me for a
second.
Preface

I was drowning. Yet the only water to be found was in the tears welling in my
eyes.
The pressure I felt — in my marrow — 'twas one busy folks often feel. It was the
pressure of relentless, unwavering busyness. I was drowning in an ocean of
expectations, gasping for breath facing what seemed like an endless to-do list,
quickly losing sight of myself and what really mattered. I could see no sign of a
horizon, much less a safe harbour.
This was a feeling of slowly increasing pressure — not unusual (I mean who
hasn't felt this, right?), although this time it all came to a head on one particular
afternoon.
Friday, 11 April, at 3.30 in the afternoon. To. Be. Exact.
Darren, my husband, had just returned from picking up the kids from school. Pat
and Kate, twin-powered tornados of seven-and five-year-old energy had
whooshed through our office on their way into the house. Maybe they said ‘hi',
maybe they didn't — I was so consumed in my own battle for air that I didn't
notice.
The shortness of breath and tightness in my chest — both physical and
metaphorical — weren't eased by the infectious joy my children typically bestow
on me. So often, they provide the antidote for my grown-up world, with their
laughter and ‘pull-my-finger' jokes; yet this time, not even them getting home
could shift my thinking.
I felt antsy and anxious, positively desperate to do something, anything … but I
couldn't think of anything that could fix how I was feeling and give me what I
needed — whatever it was I needed. It was Friday afternoon, after all — when
others had their eyes set on the weekend, I was feeling frantic. So I defaulted; I
just got busy. I've gotta do something. What could I be doing? I thought. The
mail! I haven't checked the mail. Yep, the checking the mail was yet another
thing I hadn't gotten round to doing yet, and was exactly what needed to happen
right away.
As I stepped outside with a thundercloud, monsoon and even a bloody La Niña