Table Of ContentASSERTIVENESS AND DIVERSITY
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Assertiveness
and Diversity
Anni Townend
© Anni Townend 2007
All rights reserved. No reproduction, copy or transmission of this
publication may be made without written permission.
No paragraph of this publication may be reproduced, copied or transmitted
save with written permission or in accordance with the provisions of the
Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988, or under the terms of any licence
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Any person who does any unauthorized act in relation to this publication
may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.
The author has asserted her right to be identified as the author of this work in
accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
First published 2007 by
PALGRAVE MACMILLAN
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Companies and representatives throughout the world
PALGRAVE MACMILLAN is the global academic imprint of the Palgrave Macmillan
division of St. Martin’s Press, LLC and of Palgrave Macmillan Ltd. Macmillan® is a
registered trademark in the United States, United Kingdom and other countries.
Palgrave is a registered trademark in the European Union and other countries.
ISBN 978-1-349-54403-5 ISBN 978-0-230-58201-9 (eBook)
DOI 10.1057/9780230582019
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To my partner Richard Waring and our
beautiful daughters Fern and Sofia Townend
who have supported and believed in me throughout
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Contents
List of Figures xii
List of Tables xiii
Foreword by Jane Cranwell-Ward xv
Acknowledgments xvii
Part I
Overview of the Book 1
1 Introduction 3
Who the book is for; how to use the book.
Part II
What is Assertiveness? 9
2 Philosophy of Assertiveness 11
Introduction; Assertiveness is about self-respect and respect
for others; Assertiveness is about positive recognition;
Assertiveness is about positive emotion, thinking, and
imagining; Assertiveness is about authentic connection with
self and others; Assertiveness is about meaning and purpose;
Assertiveness is about listening to and trusting intuition;
Assertiveness is about making mind, body, and brain
connections; Assertiveness is about feeling secure;
Assertiveness is about physical, intellectual, emotional, and
spiritual awareness and integration; Assertiveness is about
acceptance and mindfulness.
3 Positive Self-Assertion 26
Introduction; Developing self-assertion through having a
clear sense of purpose; Developing positive self-assertion
through positive self-belief and self-recognition; Self-
affirmations; Self-limiting beliefs; Developing positive
vii
viii Contents
self-assertion through intuitive intelligence; Developing
positive self-assertion through taking personal and
interpersonal risks; Case study: The essence of assertiveness,
positive self-assertion, and assertive relationships in
organizations
4 Assertive Communication 36
Introduction; Listening; Observing; Using “I” statements;
Questioning; Giving, receiving, and asking for feedback; Case
study: Assertiveness training
5 Assertive Relationships 47
Introduction; Mirroring and rapport; Representation systems;
Reframing; Anchoring; Compelling futures; Association and
dissociation; Case study 1: Reframing and anchoring; Case
study 2: Dissociation; Case study 3: Compelling futures and
representation systems; Case study 4: Rapport-building skills
6 Managing Conflict 57
Introduction; The transformative approach to conflict; The
experience of conflict; The transformative approach to
managing conflict; The shift from non-assertive to assertive;
Different styles of managing conflict, influencing, and
negotiating; Assertive communication skills used in
managing conflict; Case study 1: From weakness to strength;
Case study 2: The spirit of inquiry
7 Dealing with Bullying 69
Introduction; Understanding bullying behavior; The impact
of bullying on people; An assertive business culture versus a
bullying culture; Assertive leadership versus bullying
leadership; Communication skills that are helpful in dealing
with bullying; Case study 1: Alleged bullying; Case study 2:
Being bullied
Part III
Working with Personality Differences 81
8 Models for Working with Personality
Differences 83
Contents ix
Introduction; Psychological type: Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
(MBTI); Interpersonal needs–Fundamental Interpersonal
Relations Orientation-Behavior (FIRO-B); Belbin team roles;
The learning cycle and learning styles
9 Using the MBTI 96
Introduction; Case study 1: The leader within; Case study 2:
Using the MBTI for personal development and professional
fulfilment
10 Using FIRO-B 101
Introduction; Interpersonal needs and stages of team
development; Case study: Using FIRO-B
11 Belbin Team Roles 111
Introduction; Belbin team role strengths and assertiveness;
Verbal communication behaviors; Team roles and assertive
team working; Case study: Team roles and team effectiveness
12 The Learning Cycle and Learning Styles 118
Introduction; Positive self-belief and learning; Using the
theory of the learning cycle and different learning styles to
help people become their “best selves” and to appreciate
difference; Case study: Learning in practice
Part IV
Multicultural Differences, Differences
of Sexual Orientation, and Gender
Difference 123
13 Multicultural Differences 125
Introduction; Personal, national, and organizational cultures;
The target and non-target approach; Case study 1:
Assertiveness and awareness of difference; Case study 2:
Trusting and empowering from within
14 Differences in Sexual Orientation 135
Introduction; The challenges to people being true to
themselves; Supporting people in being true to themselves;
Case study 1: Living and working without fear
