Anti-bride etiquette guide : the Rules, And How to Bend Them

179 Pages·2012·1.81 MB·English

by  Gerin

Anti-Bride Etiquette Guide
THE RULES—AND HOW TO BEND THEM
by Carolyn Gerin and Kathleen Hughes
Illustrations by Ithinand Tubkam and Carolyn Gerin
For Laurent—best friend, soul mate, and surf instructor. For my late
mother. For my grandmother, Dorothy, my inspiration and benchmark for
courage and guts. For my father, Barry—the other best guy in my life. For
Kathleen, for your perseverance and eagle eye. To Sean, my adored
nephew. To Beth, Donnie, Iris, Wyndie—my heart. To Dave and Erin,
Don and Jenny, Niall and Jeannie, Rob and Colleen, Iris and John, Darin
and Kim—my tribe. To Mikyla Bruder, the girl who turned fantasy into
reality and Lisa Campbell for making it happen. To Ithinand Tubkam, my
creative soul mate. To Michaela Brockstedt for your nonstop genius and
being in my corner. To Alex Rooney, Michael Burns, Michael Thompson,
Ashley Fothergill, Gina Catanzaro (fellow gunslinger), Masanori
Christianson, Persephone St. Charles, Pete Gowdy, Lisa Mackey, David
Lilienstein, David Braun, David Macaione, Jill and Ben Hill and Mary
Zencirci, dear friends. To my adored French family, the Gerins—je vous
aime! To everyone who contributed to this book: Crys Stewart and Litsa
Rorris, Wedding Bells magazine; Larissa Thompson, In Style magazine;
Elizabeth Mayhew, Real Simple magazine; Peri Wolfman, Williams-
Sonoma; Syndie Seid, Advanced Etiquette; Lisa Mackey, Lisa Mackey
Design; Lori Leibovitch, Indiebride.com; Wyndie Carter, Bouffant Brides;
Peg Devlin Catering; Bridget Brown, Bella Bridesmaids; TwoBrides.com;
Rain bowWeddingNetwork.com, PrideBride.com; Lisa Holt; Milliken
Creek; Lynne Rutter; Lisa Zayas-Chien; Rachel Minard; Danielle
MacKinnon; Nickie Amatour; Erin Bell; Michelle Alainiz; Julie Slinger;
Stephie Stewart; the Metreon brand goddesses: Eva Miranda, Archie
Elwell, Stacey Piket, Heather Hawkins, Rachel Campos, and Judith Klein.
To Anti-Brides everywhere who have the guts to challenge the Wedding
Industrial Complex.
—Carolyn Gerin Thanks to Nick, my fiancé, who after 7 years, is making
an honest woman out of me. I now have the perfect wedding planner to
guide me. For Sean, our 5-month old son, who is a complete joy every
day of the week. To my family, for always being a huge support network.
For Jules, Liz, Dori, Tina, Deena, Katy, and Lizzette—thanks for being
my constant sounding board and for being such great friends. And finally,
thanks to all of the wedding consultants, caterers, musicians, and, most
importantly, brides, who readily gave up their time to talk to us about their
experiences.
—Kathleen Hughes
Introduction
Romance! Drama! The wind in your hair, the crash of the ocean, and the
ring on your finger! Everything you’ve ever dreamed of is happening to
you—a dress by Vera Wang, catering by Jamie Oliver (who secretly lusts
after you), and decorations by Colin Cowie. Your bridesmaids are sleek
and chic, smiling in their designer dresses (which are already earmarked
for New Year’s Eve duty). In your figure-worshiping, custom-designed
gown, you’ve never looked more ravishing. In his Savile Row tux, he’s
never looked so tall, so handsome. You gaze out at the crowd of your
adoring fans: crushed ex-boyfriends, a loving family who get along
famously, murderously wealthy in-laws who adore you, and successful
and talented friends who are always there for you, no questions asked.
You are at the peak of your beauty and this is one of life’s most bountiful
experiences.
The phone rings. It’s your mom, and your father’s just told her that you
don’t want him to walk you down the aisle—you’d rather walk yourself.
He’s stoic, and she’s tearful. It’s time for you to snap out of your bridal
reverie and back to reality.
The road to your perfect wedding is paved with good intentions.
Sometimes that road seems long and winding, and some of the stops you
make along the way may leave you feeling awkward and insecure. Did
you say the right thing? Did you handle that interaction properly? Why do
parents, friends, and even vendors seem to be so sensitive these days?
At the root of your uncertainty, you’ll often find questions about etiquette.
Your wedding, like many hallowed social traditions, comes complete with
expectations, rules of conduct, procedures, and prescriptions for
behavior. But you’re an Anti-Bride, you say, and you don’t want that kind
of wedding. Well, brava! This is the etiquette book for you.
Your wedding can be the romantic, memorable, and utterly unique event
you desire. But first you have to plan it, and planning it will likely get you
into more than a few sticky situations. Whether you’re choosing your
bridesmaids, editing your guest list to fit your smaller-than-expected
venue, or taking money from your parents while cringing at their demand
that you hire Uncle Bob’s polka band, you can’t avoid all expectations,
traditions, and rules of etiquette. Being an Anti-Bride is about having your
wedding your way, without getting bogged down by rules and regulations.
But it’s also about not offending your loved ones or handling situations in
any way that’s less than forthright and sensitive. This book will help you
identify the rules, understand where other people are coming from,
ultimately make the rules work for you, and invent a few rules of your own
along the way.
Each chapter, from Chapter 1, The Buck Stops Here, to Chapter 10, The
Receiving End—Gifts, starts you off with the Golden Rules, giving you
the lowdown on tradition. From there, you’ll get guidance on twisting
tradition without trauma. Real-life Sticky Situations and stellar solutions
help you work out the practical kinks, and useful Stress Savers and Hip
Tips keep you sane and stylish. Whether you’re worried about navigating
the murky waters of announcing your engagement, paring down the
guest list, wording your invitation, or selecting friends for your wedding
party, the Anti-Bride Etiquette Guide will give you the confidence and
savvy you need to get it all done with nary a feather ruffled.
At the end of your special day, you’ll be filled with the joy of knowing that
your wedding brought together the people you love to share in the most
amazing event of your life. This book will help you pull it off with style and
grace, so that you can have the wedding of your dreams! Read on!

Contents
Dedication
Introduction
Chapter 1 THE BUCK STOPS HERE
Chapter 2 RULES OF ENGAGEMENT
Chapter 3 THE GUEST LIST
Chapter 4 INVITATIONS & STATIONERY
Chapter 5 THE WEDDING PARTY
Chapter 6 ATTIRE
Chapter 7 PRE-WEDDING CELEBRATIONS & SHOWERS
Chapter 8 PLANNING & EXECUTION— The Ceremony
Chapter 9 PLANNING & EXECUTION— The Reception
Chapter 10 THE RECEIVING END—Gifts
Index
About the Author
Copyright