52 Things Husbands Need from Their Wives. What Wives Can Do to Build a Stronger Marriage

168 Pages·2013·1.09 MB·English

by  Jay Payleitner

Endorsements
Praise for 52 Things Husbands Need from Their Wives
“My husband and I were on the 15-year plan…taking almost 15 years before we
began to understand one another. I wouldn’t recommend that plan for anyone.
Instead I would wholeheartedly recommend Jay Payleitner’s book 52 Things
Husbands Need from Their Wives. Wives—read it, apply it, and begin today to
understand the man in your life.”
—Kendra Smiley, speaker and author of Do Your Kids a Favor…Love Your
Spouse and other books “As wives, we can choose to be encouragers for our
husbands just as much as we can choose to be discouragers. Jay Payleitner gives
us the inside scoop on what every husband needs. His biblically based
perspective and end-of-the-chapter takeaways make this book a practical
relationship builder for any couple.”
—Karol Ladd, author of Positive Life Principles for Women
“Jay’s giving away our secrets, and we thank him for it. This is an insightful
read, directed to women but educational for all of us, and a practical, user-
friendly tool for any wife wanting to better understand the creature she’s joined
to.”
—Joe Dallas, author and speaker “Very to the point of what a woman needs to
know about her man. After reading these 52 insights, you will better understand
that your spouse isn’t so weird after all.”
—Emilie Barnes, speaker, author, and founder of “More Hours In My Day”
“As military families we spend so much valuable time apart from one another.
Knowing how to give my husband what he needs—together or apart—is a
treasure. On behalf of all wives, thank you, Jay, for your insight and
transparency on the one true gift we all can share—love.”
—Tara Crooks, cofounder of Army Wife Network, coauthor of 1001 Things to
Love about Military Life
“Husbands, step up to being the spiritual leader in your homes. Start by seeking
first the kingdom of God over your own kingdom, and cherishing your wife.
Then give your wife a copy of this book by Jay Payleitner. I guarantee you that
your marriage will be for the glory of God.”
—Harry W. Schaumburg, DMin, author of Undefiled: Redemption from Sexual
Sin, Restoration for Broken Relationships
“This little book is a treasure trove of wisdom and advice for any woman who
wants to understand her husband better. Simple (just like your husband) in its
approach, it gives an excellent snapshot of what’s inside the heart and soul of a
man. I highly recommend it!”
—Rick Johnson, bestselling author of Becoming Your Spouse’s Better Half and
How to Talk So Your Husband Will Listen—and Listen So Your Husband Will
Talk
“Wives, you have great power to help your husband feel confident as he faces
life’s battles. And your encouragement can be a huge asset to him becoming a
great husband and father. Jay’s 52 Things Husbands Need from Their Wives will
help you understand your man.”
—Carey Casey, CEO of The National Center for Fathering and author of
Championship Fathering
“Jay has done it again. He continues to give us unique insight into building
strong family relationships.”
—Dan Seaborn, president and founder of Winning At Home, Inc.
HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS
EUGENE, OREGON
Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible,
New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011, by
Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide.
www.zondervan.com
Verses marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation,
copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by
permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All
rights reserved.
Verses marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible®, ©
1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman
Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org) Verses marked GNT are
taken from the Good News Translation – Second Edition © 1992 by American
Bible Society. Used by permission.
Cover by Left Coast Design, Portland, Oregon
Cover photo © Yari Arcurs / Shutterstock
Jay Payleitner is represented by MacGregor Literary Inc. of Hillsboro, Oregon.
52 THINGS HUSBANDS NEED FROM
THEIR WIVES
Copyright © 2013 by Jay Payleitner
Published by Harvest House Publishers Eugene, Oregon 97402
www.harvesthousepublishers.com
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Payleitner, Jay K.
52 things husbands need from their wives / Jay Payleitner.
pages cm
ISBN 978-0-7369-5485-3 (pbk.)
ISBN 978-0-7369-5486-0 (eBook)
1. Marriage. 2. Marriage—Religious aspects—Christianity. 3. Wives—
Conduct of life. 4. Husbands—Psychology. I. Title. II. Title: Fifty-two
things husbands need from their wives.
HQ734.P3169 2013
306.872'2—dc23
2013012426
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Participation in or encouragement of piracy of copyrighted materials in violation
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To my bride, Rita—for loving me despite, through, and because of all my faults.
Acknowledgments
I need to thank all the women over the years who have modeled the art and
science of being a wonderful wife.
My mom, Marguerite. My sisters and sister-in-law, Mary Kay, Sue, and Chris.
My daughters-in-law, Rachel, Lindsay, and Megan. And my own awesomely
awesome bride of more than three decades, Rita.
There are also quite a few other women I know who are divinely supportive
wives. I am thinking of dozens of Rita’s girlfriends from church and the
community, from among those sitting in bleachers and volunteering at school,
and from the neighborhoods in which we’ve lived. Also, I’ve come to really
appreciate the wives of all the guys in my men’s Bible study groups over the
years. Some of you I may have never even met, but your husbands speak well of
you!
Beyond my family, individuals who have contributed directly to this project
include Geri Fuehring, Gary Sanders, Randy Burggraf, Bob Anderson, Dave
George, Dennis O’Malley, Dick Graff, John Hrivnak, John Waters, Mitch Belon,
Tom Pate, Terry Jones, and Ron Basar.
Strategic encouragement and support came from fellow author Karol Ladd, my
agent Sandra Bishop, and my colleagues Carey Casey and Brock Griffin at The
National Center for Fathering. I also cannot say enough good stuff about Paul
Gossard, Terry Glaspey, Bob Hawkins Jr., and the entire team at Harvest House
Publishers.
I am more than grateful to the pastors and event planners who have invited me to
encourage, laugh with, and challenge diverse groups of dads and husbands. I
have no idea whether this book—for wives—will lead to my speaking in
auditoriums in which I am the only male. Yikes.
Finally, of course, to our heavenly Father, who created marriage as the perfect
building block for families, neighborhoods, communities, nations, and our
world.
Contents
Endorsements
Acknowledgments
Asking You to Trust Me
A Husband Needs His Wife…
1. To Slide Over Next to Him
2. To Know His Likes
3. To Expect Some Flaws
4. To Condone His Man Cave
5. To Hold Down the Fort
6. To Be Careful About Scheduling Expectations
7. To Be Captivating
8. To Let Him Be More Than a Babysitter
9. To Love On Him
10. To Just Stop It, for Goodness’ Sake
11. To Be a Great Present-Opener
12. To Keep Doing What You’re Doing
13. To Give Him Time to Decompress After Work
14. To Be Flattered When You’re on His Mind
15. To Keep the Light On for Him
16. To Cry and Laugh Together with Him
17. To Forgive Him, Especially If He Won’t Forgive Himself
18. To Not Join In on the Husband-Bashing
19. To Redeem Those Love Coupons Promptly
20. To Put In Your 10,000 Hours