Difficult Personalities: A Practical Guide to Managing the Hurtful Behavior of Others PDF
Preview Difficult Personalities: A Practical Guide to Managing the Hurtful Behavior of Others
Table of Contents  Title Page Introduction  PART I - Incompatible Personality Traits Chapter 1 - What Are Incompatible Personality Traits? 1. EXTROVERSION OR INTROVERSION 2. PLANNING OR OPTIONIZING 3. THINKING OR FEELING Chapter 2 - Variety Plus or a Rich Inner Life? Extroverted Style Introverted Style Potential Problems and Ways of Dealing with Them Conversational Style Chapter 3 - Letâs Get Organized or Go with the Flow? Planning style Optionizing style Potential Problems and Ways of Dealing with Them Chapter 4 - Which Rules, the Head or the Heart? Thinking Style Feeling Style Looking on the Bright Side What about Gender? Potential Problems and Ways to Deal with Them  PART II - Frustratingand Annoying Personality Patterns Chapter 5 - Built-in Flaw Detectors What is Typical of Most People What is Typical of Negative People Why They Do It The Gender Factor What about the Kids? Strategies for Dealing with Anotherâs Negativity Strategies for Dealing with Your Own Negativity Chapter 6 - Iâm Better Than You! What Is Typical of Most People? What Is Typical of Those with a Superiority Pattern? Why They Do It Strategies for Dealing with People with a Superiority Approach Strategies for Changing Your Own Superiority Approach Chapter 7 - I Have All the Power, I Know All the Answers What Is Typical of Most People? What Is Typical of Bossy People? Why They Do It Strategies for Dealing with a Bossy Person Strategies for Change if You Are Bossy  PART III - Confusing Personality Types Chapter 8 - The World Is Such a Dangerous Place! What Is Typical for Most People? What Is Typical of People with Anxious Personalities? True/False Quiz What Is Anxiety? How Are Anxiety and Stress Related? Anxiety Hormones Make People More Emotional You Canât Always Pick Them Anxiety and Self-Esteem The Physiology of an Anxiety Predisposition What Happens Next? Things Get Worse! How Anxiety Influences Behavior Some People Are More Predisposed to Responding in an Anxious Way Than Others What Causes a Person to Be Overly Anxious? Anxious Personalities and the Sleep-Wake Cycle The Long-term Impact of Chronic Anxiety or Stress The Severe Version of This Personality Pattern The Moderate Anxious Personality Pattern What about the Kids? Other Anxiety-Based Disorders Chapter 9 - Getting on Top of Anxiety Not Recommendeded More Positive Strategies Understanding and Dealing with Others Who Are Anxious Strategies for Managing Your Own Anxiety-Based Behavior Facts and Statistics Donât Act Precipitously Use Relaxation Strategies Watch for Other Things That Might Increase Your Flooding Chapter 10 - Everything Is Under Control Excessive Worrying Overdependent Behavior Overcaution and Avoidance Perfectionism Protective Pessimism Hypersensitivity Hoarding and Procrastinating Overcontrolling Behavior Angry Outbursts Chapter 11 - Iâm Always Right What Is Typical of Most People? What Is Typical of People with an Inflexible Personality Pattern? Looking on the Bright Side Strategies for Dealing with Someone with a Rigid Personality Pattern Strategies for Coping If You Have Some Characteristics of an Obsessive ... Chapter 12 - Donât Ever Leave Me What Is Typical of Most People? What Is Typical of People with a Demanding Personality? What Is the Severe Form of This Pattern? What is Typical of Behavior Arising from âTerror of Abandonmentâ? How Do People with a Demanding Personality Think? What about the Kids? Why Do They Do It? Looking on the Bright Side Strategies for Dealing with People Who Demonstrate Characteristics of a ... Strategies for Changing Your Own Behavior If You Have Characteristics of a ...  PART IV - Damaging Personalities Chapter 13 - Youâll Never Get Me! What Is Typical of Most People? What Is Typical for Most People with a Passive-Aggressive Personality? Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder According to the DSM-IV-TR Examples How People with a Passive-Aggressive Pattern Think Why Do They Do It? Looking on the Bright Side Strategies for Dealing with a Passive-Aggressive Behavior Pattern Strategies to Use If You Have a Passive-Aggressive Behavior Pattern Chapter 14 - A Silent Nightmare What Is Typical of Most People? What Is Bullying? What Is Typical of Bullies? Forms of Bullying The Impact of Bullying on the Targeted Person Characteristics of a Bully Whom Do They Target? How Do People with a Bullying Pattern Think? How Do They Get Away with It? Is Gender a Factor? What about the Kids? Strategies You Can Use with a Bullying Behavior Pattern Chapter 15 - Everyday Predators Among Us True/False Quiz What Is Typical of Most People? The Severe Form of This Behavior Pattern: Antisocial Personality Disorder What Is Typical of People with an Identifiable Sociopathic Pattern of Behavior? How People with a Sociopathic Pattern Think The Gender Factor The Two Types of Sociopathic Behavior Patterns: Unsuccessful and Successful Sociopaths âUnsuccessfulâ Sociopaths âSuccessfulâ Sociopaths Typical Characteristics and Behaviors of Chameleons Why Do They Do It? How Do Successful Sociopaths (Con Artists and Chameleons) Get Away with It?  PART V - Strategies Chapter 16 - Strategies for Coping with Sociopaths Can Someone with a Sociopathic Pattern Be âCuredâ? Strategies for Handling Moderate to Severe Sociopathic Behavior Patterns In Romantic Relationships How Can Someone Be So Good and So Bad at the Same Time? Chapter 17 - Making Decisions About Difficult Situations and Relationships Change What You Can Change Your Thinking Change Your Own Behavior Change What You Can in the Situation Accept What You Canât Change and Learn to Live with It Stay in the Situation and Suffer Take Off, Admit Defeat, and Leave the Situation Understanding: Using Empathic Thinking Optimistic Thinking Chapter 18 - Rational and Irrational Thinking Keys to Rational Thinking Rational Thinking Is Helpful Self-Soothing Thoughts Typical Irrational Assumptions (Beliefs) That Need to Be Challenged Challenging Irrational Thinking All-or-Nothing Thinking Rational Self-Management of Emotions Rational Thinking to Manage Specific Kinds of Feelings Chapter 19 - Healthy Self-Assertion Passive Behavior Aggressive Behavior Assertive Behavior Good Reasons for Using Healthy Assertion The Steps of Healthy Assertion Chapter 20 - Managing Your Own Anger and the Anger of Others What Does an Angry Person Want? Responding to an Angry Person Managing Your Own Anger Chapter 21 - Managing Conflict The Eight Strategies for Conflict Resolution Constructive Management of Conflict Chapter 22 - Skills for Maintaining a Strong Romantic Partnership The Nine Principles Prompting Cards The P Strategy  PART VI - Following Up Finding a Good Psychologist How Do You Tell If the Psychologist Is Any Good? Contact Details for Professional Organizations Books You Might Like to Read Anger Management and Conflict Management Anti-Social Personality Disorder: Sociopathic Behavior Anxiety Assertiveness Borderline Personality Disorder Bullying The MBTI and Personality Types Optimistic Thinking Rational Thinking Relationship Skills General Reading DSM IV-TR  Index ABOUT THE AUTHORS Copyright Page Introduction GENERAL PRINCIPLES UNDERPINNING THIS BOOK DO YOU HAVE a difficult personality in your life? Would others consider that you are their difficult person? In this book we have turned the microscope on difficult types of personalities and patterns of behavior, which range from annoying and confusing to the seriously damaging. Like most of us, you have probably encountered situations with family, friends, coworkers, or associates who have hurt you. Either they have damaged you emotionally or financially, or their behavior has caused ongoing distress or worry. Understanding how people think and knowing some of the reasons for their patterns of hurtful behavior will take you part of the way toward handling your difficult relationships more successfully. People sometimes do not reciprocate our feelings, fail to appreciate our worth, fall out of love with us, betray, leave, retrench, or disappoint us. These are all part of the pain of being human and do not necessarily reflect people being difficult. But some people have ongoing behavior patterns that hurt many others. They leave behind more than one hurt or troubled person because of their difficult personalities. What exactly is âpersonalityâ? Each person has a unique personality. It is best described as a relatively enduring and predictable collection of personal qualities (traits) and patterns of behavior. We can also talk about âpersonality types.â These are categories of personality that are very similar and are composed of predictable combinations of traits and behavior patterns. Some people have a mildly difficult behavior pattern while others have moderate or very difficult behavior patterns, and the effect of these patterns on others may also range from minor to severe. Here are some of the guiding principles we have used in identifying and elaborating on these difficult patterns.
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