/~_/"T*""'T The Last Days Of “app? enti D€t1Y€ 709 Issue # 35 3HS_”.-_- Gdfllhs rIn "ay 1993 f Notti Forest FC, 1975 BRIAN CLOUGH Manager o 'ngham Europ 1993. ean Cups: 2, Leagues Titiesz 1, League 1Cupist: 4, European Super Cups.' 1,' Simod Cups 1 2, Chari'ty Shields‘. 1, hngio-Scottish Cups: 1. 18 years of tricky bliss - weii, mostiy. Thank you, ian, and may everything come up roses for you. Br Ur , _, . —— — — —- ' i'___- - THE BRIAN: It's The End of the llorld Ils lie Know It STOCKISTS: All opinions expressed /A\\~///\//1»/”\/”\/”1 No end of people have come up Selectadisc Records, 21 within this organ are to me in the last week asking Market Street; The News solely those of the if the BRIAN was to be re- House, St James's Street; 1 - - - - 5TH BIRTHDAY: It still hasn't really sunk in, I don't think, I've been J individual contributors, so we forgot to mention that named the MARTIN. After some Sport—in—Print, Radcliffe on their heads be it carrying this dull ache around with me all week; it's like a thought, it has been decided Road; West's News, 1A ' the last issue came out on broken romance, or the death of a loved one or a cherished dream, to retain the name, partly Radcliffe Road; Tom Hoskins our 5th birthday. Thanks to the pain is there when you wake up in the morning even before you because any change would only Pub, Queens Drive And from 50RRY= _ . . everyone - writers, can remember what it's for. You know it's got to happen sometime, confuse people, but mostly Bobbins by Trent Bridge. ---that thls ‘ssue 15 even printers, sellers, but you never really believe that sometime will ever come. I've more haphazard than usual, t k. t nd readers _ because it would be a small Plus: Sportspages, s oc is s a never really known life without Brian Clough. but the events of the last whO.Ve ayyowed Us to keep ‘ but lasting tribute to the Cambridge Circus, Charing X It's best for the health of both BC and NFFC that he retires, Road, London WC2. i1.I7‘_:i_Iit “eek have dictated a . it oing this long. F); great man. And anyway, we can but did it have to be in such sordid circumstances? Was it a set- schedule even more hectic 9 always say it's named after Sportspages, Barton Sq., St up? How many people were in on it? Funny how two sister papers I than usual. Brian Laws. Ann's Sq., Manchester. finally broke rank on the same day, printing the sort of secrets Strathclyde Programme Shop, 1 Whispering Grass... and rumours that have been common gossip in Nottingham for 73 Robertson St., Glasgow. donkey's years but that Fleet Street don't normally touch. And did he jump or was he pushed? Either way, Chris Wootton should be SUBSCRIPTIONS: drummed out of the club at first opportunity. He may kid himself £5.70 for next 6 issues or ...Things are happening so quickly that this that he had the best interests of NFFC at heart, but there are so there's no reason why O'Neill shouldn't £9.50 for next 10 issues. whole issue will probably be out of date by better ways of going about things, you don't stab in the back a achieve the same consistent results on P+P included. Please state the time it even reaches the printers. These man who's done as much for a club as Brian Clough has for Forest, Trentside - Brian Clough was in a similar which issue you wish your are the latest rumours to reach our ears, you don't attempt to sell him down the river for (allegedly) position when Derby plucked him from sub to start from. Overseas along with one or two facts and some 15,000 pieces of silver. H§Ptl8D00l- If we don't get him, someone else subscriptions (EC countries opinions... How much more dignified it would have been if Clough could have will - don't break my heart, Fred, inc. Eire): Firstly, the new manager. Every single Forest left two years ago, arm in arm with the FA Cup, but that would've t ...As if the board didn't have enough to £5 for four issues or fan I've spoken to feels it has to be Martin been a fairytale and there's no such thing as fairies. It's the contend with, there are rumours that the Fraud £10 for eight issues. O'Neill, but judging by the interviews he's hardest thing in the world to know when to walk away. Apart from Squad has been called in to investigate the Non—EC subscriptions given he's had no word from the club, formal his short stint at ICI, Brian Clough has known no life but NFFC books, and that a World In Action available on request. or informal. Initially the word was that we'd football. For the past fifteen years he's had possibly the most programme on the club's financial dealings is go for David Pleat, as we hear David 0'Leary secure job in the country, how frightening the world outside must due to be broadcast at the end of May. The BACK ISSUES: will be taking over at Luton in the summer. seem to him. Look at his peers - and there aren't many fit to be obvious conclusion would be that Maurice No.s 3 B 4 (40p each) Pleat of course played for Forest in the early mentioned in the same breath: Shankly quit too soon, had to keep Roworth was not such a loyal servant of the No.s 9 to 24 (50p each) 60's and has remained a friend of many senior hanging around his beloved club, couldn't bear the heartbreak of club as he would have us believe. That's all No.s 25 to 35 (70p each). figures at the club (and of half of Forest it not being HIS beloved club anymore and it killed him. Brian we know at the moment, but there could be a Please add 30p P+P for one Road), but his recent experience of Division Clough should learn from him. Jock Stein was the same, a near- few shocking revelations over the course of magazine, plus 10p for each One, with Leicester and Luton, has entailed fatal car crash couldn't persuade him to walk away. Brian Clough the summer... R55 pEG_ further issue. playing pretty football while remaining glued should learn from him. And Matt Busby, he quit the game but ? Any ten back issues for £5, to the relegation zone. I think I could manage couldn't keep from meddling with the team; to such an extent he I _ 7 i" .7 r s—’ J lure: including P+P. Forest to that. Fortunately his name is no indirectly sent them down in '74, and his shadow has been as much longer being whispered. responsible as anything else for their failure to win the ALSO AVAILABLE: Clough has pronounced that he'd like to see championship all this time. Fred Reacher should learn from him. * The BRIAN Annual 1992, promotion from the backroom staff, and it's | told you 1'" What will Clough do now? Become SKY's answer to Roger Mellie? A £2.00 inc P+P. * The BRIAN possible that Fred Reacher will bow to his landscape gardener? A lollipop man? A Majorcan time-share shark? Summer Special, with FREE wishes in an effort to make amends for the way There are B41 jobs in today's Evening Post. There's no point in a bubble would Sultans of Ping FC he handled the whole retirement saga. In our move "upstairs" - there would still be all the pressure but a flexidisc, £1.50 inc. P+P. reader's poll last summer 49$ of people said lesser share of the joy, and I don't think he could bear not bumIUI they'd like to see Archie Gemmill take over being involved. Clough has always been very much the private, Please make all cheques and when the time came, but times have changed and family man — and what a relief this announcement must be for postal orders payable to surely the coaching staff have to take as much Barbara Clough - I hope he's got the sense and the support to J.S. PRITCHARD. responsibility for our disastrous season as keep busy and keep away, for a while, at least. the Boss himself. We've also heard that Archie Wherever you go in the world, when you say you come from CONTRIBUTORS: is non—too popular amongst the players, though Nottingham they mention two names, and the second is Robin Hood — Keith Barks, Damien's Dad, nothing like as much as Clough's first choice go to China and they haven't even heard of him - it's all "Brian AC Draper, Exiled in - Ron Fenton. One first-teamer has been heard Clough, Nottingham Forest". The names of Brian Clough and Pompey, Tom Faulkner, to say that if Fenton is appointed there will Nottingham Forest are synonymous with success and with style, Johnny Garibaldi, Tim be 35 transfer requests on the table right people in Milan, Buenos Aires and Lagos don't know or care about Gough, Hampshire Red, Steve away. I'm not sure what Fenton has done to Arsenal and Spurs — or even Glasgow Rangers before this season - Hanley, Justified Ancient make himself so reviled at the club, but it but they know about Cloughie and Forest. That's what the man has Red, Major Oak, Dave frightens me that his name is even being done for ue; in winning the European Cup (twice) he's put us up Marriott, Alex Money, Glenn mentioned in connection with the Forest job. there with the legends; we might be playing Derby and Notts next Nowers, Others, Red-eye, This is probably the biggest decision Reacher season but I'll bet there ain't too many kids in downtown Rio de Red Reg, Sandiacre Tree. B co. will have to make in their lives, but it Janeiro with sheepshagging Subbutteo teams. Bob Stevens, the Student, shouldn't be so hard: pick Fenton or Gemmill Down we most probably are, but that doesn't mean we're not Teacherman, Top Valley Ali, incite player-revolution, go for Pleat and grateful for the eternal list of things Brian Clough has done for DJ Voo, Trev Woolley, we'll tread water or stagnate, appoint O'Neill us. We'll always have our memories, and no number of trips to Catherine Wright, Yours and you have a highly intelligent, astute Grimeby and beyond can ever take them away. Affec.. manager with the backing of the fans. He may Goodbye Brian, good luck, and thank you. not have experience of Division One, but then his playing career gave him zero knowledge of BR! the Vauxhall Conference, and that certainly AN 3 Crossman Street, Sherwood, Nottingham NG5 2r|R. didn't stop him becoming so successful at Wycombe Wanderers. It's the same simple game Not only does Forest's future rest on Reacher‘s shoulders, but I feel Reacher‘s When it comes down to it, we all know that show of loyalty to a past hero. As an ex- future also rests on Reacher‘s shoulders and there's only one choice - Martin O'Neill. World Cup captain he is respected throughout his impending decision. At this point we *. No-one's got a crystal ball so no-one can the football world and hopefully "Quid be MARTIN O'NlEIll should again examine the role of the "Gang say who is the right person to write able to attract class players - parilcvlflfly of Four", whose influence among shareholders Forest's next chapter, but whatever some already at the club who may need Fred should under-estimate at his peril. reasonable criteria you apply, Martin reassuring as to Forest's ambitions and James Mellors, in Tuesday's Evening Post, O'Neill will satisfy more than anyone else. potential. Yer Only Man has said "Personally I have no confidence in He would imediately have 99.9% backing of Recent polls on Radio Nottingham and in the the board at aTT...maybe it's time for some Forest's support and would hopefully nullify Evening Post are further proof that Martin new young blood". any “I'm not renewing next season" O'Neill is the fans‘ choice by a mile - and Keith Gibson added "This is the start of a reactions. after listening to the interviews Martin 08$ whole new era at Forest and the board needs Martin O'Neill is intelligent, articulate, given, it's obvious that all that As So Judgement Day has finally arrived, and restructuring“. , like thousands of Forest's fans I am truly ambitious, adored by the Trent End and required is for Fred Reacher to get his Against this background of discontent respected by the rest of the ground. The board together for formal approval, then saddened at the way Brian Clough's peerless Reacher must seek to get the correct man reaction of Forest fans when he returned to pick up the phone. career is drawing to a close. installed as soon as possible, with a view i Why did it have to come about like this? Trentside as captain of Norwich was one of I don't think Reacher has any choice to to uniting the supporters, the shareholders the greatest demonstrations of emotion shown make. Martin O'Neill will unite all factions Why did the demise of the greatest manager and the board behind him and thus deflecting in the history of our game have to be by a Forest crowd. At the time, Ken Smales behind Nottingham Forest FC. Any other any criticism he is bound to face at the went on record as saying "It's a pity the appointment will lead to divisions at all brought about by a meeting of a Forest next AGM. Director with a second-rate Sunday newspaper crowd don't support the team as well as they levels and the club could be torn apart. J So what choice does Fred Reacher have? - or am I being naive, was this the only supported Martin O'Neill last Saturday", but Here's to the next fortnight with fingers Sadly but predictably the names being possible way in which a managerial change I think he was really in admiration of the firmly crossed. Il!_§QQ§fia ’ thrown at us have made the whole affair was going to happen? - I think not. If a something of a circus, and as if to confirm Delegation Homesick Blues seedy meeting between Mr Wootton and the the fact, Larry Lloyd pipes up with "My hat People did take place then I am appalled at is in the ring" - glad to see that all the the actions of the Director. There are years of pulling pints and assuming barrage the end of the world, with the right man in morally acceptable ways of achieving results I really didn't think it would happen - not balloon proportions have not diminished his charge we can bounce straight back, Villa and and what Mr Wootton is alleged to have done because of garibaldi-tinted spectacles sense of humour. Sheffield Wednesday don't seem to have been is unworthy of our club irrespective of his blinding me to the unmotivated, impotent dross I feel that Reacher is going to face too damaged by the drop. intentions. I've been watching most weeks, but because our greatest criticism if he appoints from the With the wrong man we could be doomed for The actions of Mr Wootton generate further deficiences were so glaringly obvious that I "Old Guard". ie the Fenton/Gemmill/O'Kane/ evermore for a more meaningful rivalry with questions. Was he merely a "stalking horse" thought it would only be a matter of time Hill brigade. The mood amongst the fan is Derby, Notts and Leicester. operating on behalf of others, or had the before we bought the players to sort it out. generally that a "clean sweep" is required - There has to be a total clear—out, all the whole operation been pre-planned - I think NFFC are not some poverty-stricken club and that the aforementioned are as much way through the club. Roy has implied all _ the supporters have more than a little right struggling on gates of 12,000 - we've got a responsible for our near-certain relegation along that he'd be off if he went down - will to know. Mr Wootton's current and future solid base of loyal support, half of a decent and indeed Brian Clough's present state as he get the Fat Wallet treatment if we draw position is further confusing. Presently team capable of creating plenty of chances, the great man himself. suspended from the Board of Directors and and several million attracting interest in the Blackburn (the odds-on favourites to land him) Ron Fenton is apparently unpopular with stripped of any executive powers, he claims bank. It wasn't until the Everton game that it in the Cup? Nigel has always nurtured many of the players and is derided by the ambitions to play abroad, and even if he to have widespread support among share- really hit me that we'd be stuck with fans. Furthermore it is difficult to think doesn't get an offer from Italy, France or holders - whether there is widespread unmotivated, impotent dross and missed chances of anyone associated with the current set up Spain, his discontent over the way his support on the terraces is questionable. On for the rest of the season, and that we who is more lacking in charisma and father's retirement has been handled mean he's the same night that Phil Murdoch was quoted wouldn't be buying anyone. personality. almost certain to be on his way. He'll be glad in the Evening Post as demanding the re- Why couldn't Clough have taken the gamble Archie Gemmill is an interesting character of the chance to be just one of the lads instatement of Mr Wootton, a letter from a with Stan Collymore? £2million may seem a who does appear to have limited support from elsewhere, it must have been so difficult for supporter was claiming that "Chris Wootton ridiculous amount, but we'd have recouped that the fans. However he loses points for the him to fit in in the dressing room here. Of must be the most hated man in Nottingham" by staying in the Premier League - and even if way he totally capitulated when Brian the three, Stuart Pearce is the most likely to and, on the face of it, it does appear that we'd still gone down, at least we would've had "suspended" him for two weeks after the stay. At 31, no big club is going to come in Mr Wootton has unified both the pro— and a striker capable of banging ‘ea in every week reserves failed to retain the Pontins League '“' for him until he's proved his fitness, and anti-Clough lobbies in a mass demostration in the First Division. I've heard we also had a few seasons ago. If Archie had had Graham Taylor is a loyal sort of bloke who of pure emotion - dry eyes at Trentside at Chris Fairclough lined up, that he was willing anything about him and harboured genuine won't drop him just because he's playing in 2.55pm? I doubt it. as he knows he's got no future at Leeds, but aspirations to management he would have the First Divsion. However, if and when he Whichever way you look at it, Brian that Clough stood him up at a hotel in taken off and gone to Leicester City when returns as the Psycho we all know and idolise deserved better than to have his retirement Mansfield. Apparently there was a similar the opportunity presented itself. I also the offers are bound to come in. My gut announcement shrouded in such unsavoury story with Kevin Gallacher, who's now on his feel that, when the chips are down, we'll feeling is he'll be gone by Christmas. Neil circumstances. way to all sorts of glory at Blackburn. No find that Archie's heart lies at the Webb is the only other obvious departee, but I And what of Fred Reacher and the future? I doubt he's still looking forward to playing Baseball Ground. If an appointment at feel he had no option but to suspend Mr with Roy Keane. doubt if anyone Glse would want him and his Trentside leaves Archie out in the cold, wage packet. Wootton - it will not be the last time Fred It's no use crying about it now, but it expect rumblings at Derby closely followed Of those left, Brian Laws, Carl Tiler, Steve is faced with a "no option" situation. I shouldn't really happen to a club of our by Archie re-routing along the A52. Stone and Ian Woan are the ones to build can't help but feel a little sorry for Fred, stature. Not because we have any moral O'Kane and Hill could possibly be retained around. Lose any of them and we're doomed. who must have hoped that his first couple of superiority or a divine right to a place in on the staff in view of their comprehensive The uncertainty of it all is quite exciting — years of chairmanship would have been merely the Premier League, but because the financial knowledge of the set up, but neither are who knows where we'll be in five year? time- to have maintained the steady course of the gulf between the richest ten clubs and the considered by the fans to be genuine it's as likely we'll be plavino Minefield as last five years, with maybe a trophy or two rest of the league is now so great that we managerial prospects. Milan - but Fred Reacher has to do the right thrown in for good measure. Not much to ask. So what of the outsiders? should always be able to plunder the lower thing before all the great work Brian Cloubh But then again, if you become chairman of Bowyer, Macari, Hoddle, Gradi, Pleat, divisions to buy the players to keep us up. the greatest club in the football league you O'Leary, Cox, Clark, Buckley, Francis, The financial rewards of the Premier League did before this season goes down the pan. Install Martin O'Neill, give him an open must expect to have to make decisions of make it highly unlikely that any of the Big Little - I can't see any of this lot having - - ' I cheque book and in five years time we ll hflvfl gargantuan proportions once in a while. more than 5% of the support of Forest fans. Five will ever go down again. forgotten we ever went to Grimsby. The appointment of the next Forest manager Forget them. 1 So what happens next? Well that depends on is such a decision that Fred now faces. the new manager. Relegation doesn't have to be JQHNN!*GARIBALDli Stuart Pearce, Nigel Clough...I wonder. _-|+._. -q— —\_- S '7 Kenn: ro srnyr uvllmans & Vvhfinges 99 Lead Balloons The one positive outcome of Roy's allegedly to be at the far post against Charles or Laws, The Premier League started I should like to put forward a piece for the over-enthusiastic Highbury goal celebrations where he'll inevitably win the header, eg Les out with a burst balloon and Moans and Whinges column, which I'm sure will is that it makes it unlikely that the Ferdinand v Brett Williams, goal No.4 at QPR ~ ended up like a lead balloon. be VQPY Popular! "talented young Irishman" (c. everyone) will here he headed in on his knees! and not because Forest have It came to my notice again after hearing end up snogging a cannon next season. It is When Forest have a dead ball situation their had such a bad time. Trevor Brooking on Radio 5 correct a guest, widely believed that Keane would invoke the only move is to take it quickly and short, Ah, “Premier League" means who said that "all teams now practise corners clause in his contract allowing him to leave especially without Psycho and with Cloughie at "first and foremost", the most and fP99“kiCk5”- by Saying "except Nottingham should relegation occur, and until the recent the back! important part of English Fbrest". centre-temps, Arsenal (with their notably Why is it anathema to practise these football. That's what all the why is it that Forest cannot defend at or lightweight midfield this season) looked his situations? Have the management ever been manager‘s have been telling us score from corners or free—kicks? OK, I can most likely destination. asked? The corner situation with Forest has for years. The cup's OK, but understand that if you have a dodgy keeper and Few other clubs would have the purchasing frustrated me for years, I can remember Rice it's the League that counts. defence YOU may suffer in the air, but even power to afford the £3million minimum and Chettle being masters of the corner cock- But is it? Take any Saturday when the header is won the ability of Forest stipulated in his contract, and of those who up! Then again, Colin Foster was used at the since Christmas and check the to defend the "second ball" on the edge of the do Tottenham seems an unlikely destination as near post quite effectively, but Tiler seems league tables. And then check box, or the back post, is virtually nil. Roy has had a long-standing personal feud with much less useful when pushed up for corners. the continental tables. In the Surely it is worth practising defending these about half their team (so fortunately we won't Perhaps Rosario and Tiler might prove more Premier League any one team areas and not just the initial corner/free- be treated to the unedifying spectacle of productive? could have played 3 and kick, as tends to happen with Chettle, Gemmill Keane kissing his cock). A petulant kicking So please can we try practising dead ball H sometimes 4 matches more than etc.. So many teams know that the way to beat outburst directly in front of Alex Ferguson in Forest is to get their target man or tall guy situations — it surely can't hurt that much! another. On the continent, January means a transfer to Old Trafford is TUMYHMHKEER they've all played the same equally unlikely, despite the fact that "‘/‘-\/\\r\,_,\,__,__,--'/‘ number of matches — because Manchester United might seem the obvious PO31’ WAR CAWTAI over there the leagues count. choice for a wayward Irish genius. The Storey- 5 How can our league be Moore/Birtles/Davenport/Webb jinx may also important when full fixtures lead to both parties being cautious about are arranged for the same another Forest to United transfer, and in any night as the Coca~Cola semi— case it is currently difficult to see who N0. B: TOMMY GEMMELL. ' __ _ _ r TWT" ;1.r1 finals? How can our league be would make way for Keane in the United team. important when a fixture Villa seem similarly well-stocked already in Tommy's reign as captain was probably the shortest (v Aston Villa) can be moved the midfield department, Liverpool would have ever. He came to Forest from Glasgow Celtic, having because another league to sell before they could buy, and both been signed by Matt Gillies, in the second half of arranged a home match for Blackburn and Everton are smaller clubs than the 1971-72 relegation season, and played his last Notts County on the same day? Forest anyway these days. game for the Reds on January 6th 1973, under What price a season ticket for Perhaps Europe is a more likely next move for manager Dave MacKay. 1 league matches when games can Keane, but again the minimum fee (a cool _Gemmell had won everything in Scottish football be re—arranged so easily? £5million) will probably prove prohibitive. with Celtic:- Scottish international caps, League Let's increase the status of Only Italian clubs seem to have that kind of and Cup medals and a European Champions Cup winners money, and the failure to integrate of recent lmedal in 1967, when he scored the second and the leagues, and the cups at exports from English clubs, plus that of winning goal. the same time, by a rethink of Keane-alike Matthias Sammer at Inter this Great things were expected of him, but alas he their organisation. There . arrived too late to keep us in the First Division. season, would make a move for the should only be, in each l He played only 39 league & cup games for us before temperamental Keane a brave but risky venture. league, the number of teams being transferred to Dundee and the reason for his So the obvious solution would be for Keane to which allows for all the leaving is vague - probably Second Division stay with Forest. Jack Charlton has a history fixtures to be played on a of picking players outside the Premier League football didn't agree with him, or perhaps he fell Saturday. The Coca—Cola should (Tranmere's Aldridge and Coyne for example) if out with MacKay. We will never know. be played midweek with the they're good enough, Roy likes Nottingham, is -- A native of Glasgow, born October 1943, his height final on the Sunday before on a good contract, and our style of play was 6ft 1" and he weighed 12st 7lbs. Christmas. The FA Cup should suits him, so even if we were to be relegated .ly$TLFl§P AUQIEWT REQ- be midweek with the final in there's no reason to assume that our star May. asset will leave - where else would he find a The Han In Black 10 feet away from play when some meaty This will never happen nightclub as good as the Black Orchid for a defender hoofs the ball upfield, where because the FA does not have start? - by I5AcHERygn, the striker runs forward and scores. The the will or the wit to make w5'“\¢’5\~/*\~f“*-~*’“~—”““’*\\x linesman, who is piss bored with his the Premier League of prime importance. Never mind. by the * We'll be the star attraction on Central TV's "Who's the bastard in the black?" . We crappy job for even less money, has football coverage...we'll have to put up with are all used to such light—hearted missed an offside decision, but who gets time we get back in things may the ramblings of Jimmy Greaves. abuse, but have you ever thought what the blame? Yes, FYou're a wanker have changed... DAMIENfS DQD. ""50'16;-'5“ T630 cmI * The club will make money from Central‘s it's like to be a football ref? I mean, referee, where's your bloody g1asses?". coverage...there will be loads of Sunday you've given up a couple of hours of Surely the FA can find the money to Jklwmutllcmeglmhoncucurlnaltuqy? matches. your time to run around in the freezing‘ appoint a few professional referees, or * We'll have plenty of money to rebuild the cold, trying to keep the likes of Vinny run a few schools of excellence. * No more SKY TV kick-off times...no more SKY team...Pearce, Keane and Clough will have been Jones in order - and all for peanuts! And as for the rest, well, remember TV money. sold. And what happens? 20,000 home fans they are amateurs. We can't stop abusing * Loads of Midlands derbies...but we could be * There is another possible route to singing "The referee's a bastard"1 them for their mistakes, but at least _ reacquainting ourselves with the meatheads at Wembley...via the play-offs. that's what. Now be honest, wouldn't YOU let's give them a big cheer when they Filbert Street and St Andrews. * We could be invited to take part in the be just a little bit tempted to give a come on the pitch (all apart from Alf * Plenty of new grounds to visit...most of Anglo—Italian Cup...we might accept. penalty to the away team? Buksh who IS a bastard). them are crap. * 46 league games to play...4 extra to pay And what about offsides? The referee is ' yours affec., A;BUK§fl JR.. * We might get the chance to do the double over Derby...they might do it to us. 1°0I“- M£l9B__.QBL -1 - - ,\ ,m_ __~/\-J -' ‘Iv- 7 No Charge Sights of the Season Rumbelows Cup Final by...(expecting another big cheerl...Gary Crosby!”. The resounding boos which followed seemed to It was a Friday morning down on Trentside. 'And for then signing you from Cobh embarrass young Roy as much as they 1). MANAG§R'S.ANTIC5- Things had gone pretty well at the training Ramblers . . . . . . . . ..again there's no charge Roy surprised the MC! A classic season for Cloughie— session and the lads were getting changed For handing you your first team debut watchers: V-signs to the Main Stand, after a well—earned shower. and having the confidence to play you at 4). FLAGS. hurling the ball from the dug—out at Anfield . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..no charge This season it seems that every set of opposing players for throw—ins, Brian was sitting at his desk, studying the And can you remember your home debut visiting supporters has rather pitifully embarrassingly giving the "thumbs—up" list of players available for tomorrow's vital against Southanton when I kissed you as attempted to engender some atmosphere when the Trent End have in fact sung relegation battle against Sheffield United. you left the pitch....no charge for that, Roy (perhaps they should try singing?) by "Brian Laws", sitting by the dug—out for There was a knock on his door. bringing along an over—sized rag vaguely the entire ha1f—time interval, solitary [At this point, as if on cue, three in the club colours, mainly to elicit a walks in the pouring rain at half-time "Come in", says Brian. c1eaning'ladies came into the office half—hearted chorus of "What the devil at away reserve games, not turning up at andsdrmdlupelcawflrmdumpeltype is that?“ (or words to that effect) from all on occasions...the list goes on and The door opens and in walks an immaculately chomu:in"flmrhmdquound] the Party Section. Fortunately, one on. My personal favourite, however, was turned out Roy Keane. member of the aforementioned Trent End at Loftus Road when he sat in the dug- For alerting Jackie Charlton to your choir (with a Needlework GCSE) has out and had an apprentice throw the ball "Have you got a minute Boss?", asks Roy. burgening talent. . . . . . . . . . . . . ..no charge Roy produced a magnificent "Brian Clough's to him. He threw it back to the lad, And for your international career and your Red & White Army“ Maxwell handkerchief- then made him lob it back to him. And so "I've got all the time in the world for you sideboard full of caps . . . . . . . . ..no charge Roy sized banner which is allowed a quick on and so forth. I'm sure that there was lads. Nbw tell me what's troubling you. Roy" For the lifestyle you now enjoy, the gleaming Gemmill—esque sideways walk at each a completely rational explanation, but cabriolet in the drive and the wardrobes of game. Sadly though, in a cruel metaphor from the away end, well... "Well...it's like this Boss...", and Roy sharp suits . . . . . . . . . . ..Roy, there's no charge for the season, it was inexplicably takes out a pen and a piece of paper, and at And for the hudreds of beautiful 2). cozy DRIVER, ripped down in the middle of the Villa the top of the piece of paper is written Nottingham girls who think you're the match and ended up in a sorry state. One of my favourites. this one. A 'TI1flHUKHT. And friends, this is what Roy bees knees . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..no charge Roy Happily, it has been spotted since (even friend recounts a tale (apparently wroha.. For the senseless bookings you pick up on Match of the Day, natch), which is true!) from a recent trip into when there's no dam need . . . . . . . . . ..no charge more than could be said for the smaller Nottingham City Centre on a weekday For all the times I've had to turn up And when you're suspended when we need effort some Forest fans were dangling afternoon. About to turn right near the for training when it's slashing it down you in the team . . . . . . ..Roy, there's no charge from the Bridgford Upper Tier station, my acquaintance correctly with rain. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..£645 For standing by you when you've been arrested tantalisingly close to the Leeds fans selected the right—hand filter lane, For helping out in the back four when outside the Black Orchid . . . . . . ..no charge Roy below. The Leeds fans, like rottweilers awaiting the green arrow. Shortly after, they could't defend to save their lives And we'll be standing by you. come the court teased with a stick, began grabbing up with traffic building up in the lane on . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..£750 case in Cork...again there'll be no charge Roy at it, at which point the banner was their left, the lights changed (but no For all those rus I make from midfield For the countless accolades heaped upon raised a little, then lowered again. arrow yet). The car on the inside didn't when I know I haven't got a chance of you in the press . . . . . ..Roy, there's no charge What fun — better than watching the move an inch. My friend looked left and receiving the ball . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..£65O And for all the "Young Eagle" awards and match, I suppose. Inevitably, the Forest saw a vaguely familiar face lost in For all the tackles I make, and for being the representative honours . . . . ..no charge Roy fans got a little too cocky, some Leeds reverie, seemingly unaware of the fact the best header of a ball at the club....£425 For your parasitic agent who's pulling fans grabbed the flag and with more and that the lights had turned green. The For that afternoon down at Crystal Palace your strings . . . . . . . . . ..there's no charge, Roy more joining in, succeeded in, erm, cars behind started revving their when you stuck me out on the right wing And for all the freebie tickets to bring liberating it from its owners. engines. Still no movement from the dozy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..£575 your family over to Wembley.....no charge Roy driver, still dreaming away as the rest 5)- QREWE_TBUHPETER. » For m header at Spurs that got us to For all the help and guidance I've FC Barcelona has Manola, its infamous of the world rushed past all around him Wembley . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..£800 given to make you the player you are now... grum—beating chant—leading SuppQrt_ (can you guess who our mystery driver And don't forget, Boss, that I was seen . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..Roy, there's no charge could be yet, kids?). Finally losing P95t¥_RO8d. that Nou Camp of the NQpth_ kissing my tree on full view of the TV...£45O In fact, for making you everything you are has this season boasted some berk with a patience, the car behind sounded its For keeping this season going on as long today . . . . . . . . . . ..Roy Keane. there's no charge horn and the driver in front nearly tFUmPet, who would play along with the as it has . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..£25O jumped out of his seat, looked up at the 5UPP0rters' chants. The person That all comes to £4,545. » And with that Brian wrote ‘Tb Good" and green light, and slowly set off. It was ::5P0H$1b1B. a student (no Surprigeg And I mustn't forget 10% for m agent, who's handed the paper back to Roy. only at this point that my friend ere). has indeed been given a free got my best interests at heart. season ticket by the club. I'm 511 for realised the driver of the car was none TCH%L COST . . . . . . . . . . . ..£5,000 Well friends, by the time Roy had finished other than Scot Gemmill... lmprovlng the Btm05Phere at these lower reading all this he'd got big 01' tears a- ilvlfilon srouods. but being Subjected to “Oh, and by the way Boss — that's per WEEK“, rolling down his cute Irish cheeks. He looked two ours of Que sera sera", the Hovis 3). CROSBX'Sg§HIHT. says Roy, handing the paper over to Brian. up at Brian and their eyes met. :08. the theme from Coronation Street Highlight of the pre—season tour to 8 C. can be a little bit wearing on the Ireland was of course the ncw legendary Now, Brian put his glass down and he gave 7PLease may I borrow that pen again, Boss", patience. Fortunately, with Toddi's late post—match piss—up at the clubhouse young Roy a long, hard look. Brian had seen muttered Roy through streams of salt water. goal there was finally silence to our after the Dundalk game (a resounding 4-0 all this before. He appreciated that Roy had win). Early in the evening was the ieft' and fP°m °uP Position on the come to Forest, leaving all his family behind ’Cmuse;wx:can,son“ derrace we had a perfect opportunity to result of the hosts‘ prize draw, which in the Deep South, and maybe now was the time F15 inguish between the two classes of they had asked Roy Keane to do, and also Roy needed some fatherly guidance. And Roy picked up the pen and wrote at the crest supporter. To our left, the to donate a prize to. The MC took the bottom of the "CI)NI'RAC'I"': tartan blanket family section struck up stage and said_"Please give a big hand He looked at Roy an smiled a fatherly smile. 9Bollocks, if we go down, I'm off". to our Irish hero {blah blah blah)...Roy lzlth nwherevs Jyoti!‘ Then he picked up the paper, turned it over, Keane" (huge cheers from visiting rgmP?t 8039- I t0 OUP right, the wit and friends, this was his reply... And people, when it comes down to it, y'all an wisdom of our younger, rowdier Trickies) "who s going to announce the know that a player's contract is worth sweet element preferred the subtle irony of first prize winner, who'll get the very For the scouting staff I sent over to country—all. You can stick your fitting trumpet up Forest shirt worn in last year's Ireland . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..there's no charge Roy by.LJ,CWUC, Y°“’ “'56 - bx TEACHERMAN. ..q.. -3... dentists ("Mr Drlygsson, would you like to come through please"), Roy at ....Sapllngs.... the Bingham chippie (not exactly the Black Orchid, is it?), and Brian Laws l _ walking his dog in full Umbro regalia (Brian, not the dog) along the A52 - p not that you were hoping to be spotted or anything, eh Brian?...He hope ...Trentside Development Dept. Pt. 1 - the building work that when Roy appears before the FA (for having the audacity to celebrate currently taking place adjacent to the Souvenir Shop is his 94th minute goal at Highbury} the committee will take into account the to house the new ticket office. Full credit card effect of the stream of anti-Irish racial abuse the boy was subjected to facilities will be available, plus a better and more up- throughout the match from at least one part of the ground...Ground to-date telephone service - in fact a ticket office "collectors" should note that Forest could be playing at two additional befitting a club in the Premier League...The new building new arenas next season - Charlton's rebuilt Valley and Millwall's spanking will also house the Supporters Club and Junior Reds new Senegal Fields, which looked a bit like the new Meadow Lane when offices...Pt.2 — the underpitch heating will not now be viewed from the train after the Wimbledon game...Abuse aimed at Scot installed at the end of this season. Nith Forest Gemmill at UPR - "He's out of McGovern, not Archie"...Psycho has a new s,mm,,,, committed to staging Leicester City's play-off game on or car. A red Ford. Much more macho than the old white Volvo, of course. Not '1 '$l'.fi,‘?.3°- ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, around May 19th, and with the UEFA tournament scheduled that you were embarrassed about it or anything, eh Stuart?...Full marks to "-""' -'----- M 4 ,MIOS' SIBDOI'nginfor for July, the contractors could not guarantee that the = mewnureu Neil weoo. admits: ‘I'm snjayingltwhi 1 QPR for including the away end in their cut-price ticket deal for our lastsbecausel'l|oronanlyoabackinmereservessnon! entire cable-laying/drainage/seeding operation could be recent game at Loftus Road. Whether it was their own initiative or police Idon‘tdreammomuon.l'd]ustlikaanewoomractat Iheendoflhasflafim.‘ completed in time, and rather than ending up with a boggy action aimed to stop Forest fans infiltrating home areas I don't know, but pitch and a Euro-sized egg on their face Forest have it makes a change from having to pay a fiver more than the home fans like Q0 H|'nw+¢.$--~ sensibly put the whole thing back one season...0ne trusts at Sheffield Nednesday...Nice touch by the Radio Nottingham sports team On 4-Ag fiSllllllfi that the Leicester fans will be housed in the Trent End for Ipswich - Andrew James will be dressing up as Friar Tuck and Martin 1CC»Se ¢xs'¢~Suu1I and the Exec, rather than allowing them the opportunity Fisher will be Robin Hood...Fans wanting tickets for Ipswich could ring to smash up our lovely new Bridgford End...Nith both FA the ticket office on 0473 221133. You can pay by credit card but you must Cup semi-finals being staged at Membley this year many give an address somewhere in the South. Portman Upper and "A" Block seem .-Derby -‘disaster’ s possibilities have opened up. For example, if Derby to be particularly popular. I can see more than 10,000 Forest fans at County were to play Notts in an FA Cup semi where would Ipswich, with or without tickets...Pre-season totrs this year will take in A MOCK disaster is to be staged at Derby County Football Club's stadium. the Base- the game be played? Nembley? Too big. Villa Park and Ireland and Italy (Sampdoria??), no further details available at this ball Ground. Volunteers are needed for the exercise. which will involve all three Hillsborough are possibilities, even here at Trentside? point...60's songs revisited: overheard in Bridgford Upper Tier (about Row emergency services. ~~ No...if Derby County were to play Notts in an FA Cup semi H Seat 125) against Villa - "Oh we‘re better than United and we're louder ejtseaqs.ag5m; ; Derby S-fur-f 4'/"¢"' "jjueeqjuolioomjiug the match would only be taking place at one venue... than the Hop /We're bottom of the league and we should be at the top ?La P'Q- S-zaton -I~ra|1m‘n3. -- Fantasy Island!...Latest player sightings: Toddi at the la la laa" etc...A pathetic joke: "How many Forest players does it take to change a lightbulb?" "Eleven - ten to pass it about for twenty minutes, SOLUTION FOR ORPHANED LAMBS *"‘ 'i'*' T‘*_“1; TPe"eflehevv and one to screw it in, but it still won't work"...Did anyone tune in to , ¢ I gfmderslflllilv D68. 's ‘ Now [era recapffletty. Ewes ‘fooled tnto Lbmslflflbanu Whateqlourshins , the phone-in on Radio Nottingham on the night that BC was awarded the d°Y°"Plflyin?? Freedom of Nottingham? Me were treated to a phone call from Graham acting as mothers MT '3 Richards of Radio Derby County fame. I don't know what was more - .1 SHEEP —- animals not noted for T ' STEVE-EONNOE i T!-/‘I0-B 1'//{afibn embarrassing, Graham saying that if Brian had stayed at Derby they would their ii:t;llectu€lc- :13 is _ conlupgfidcn‘ " bgf LDIO tevmg ¢Y clence i I ‘ have won the European Cup 5 times on the trot, or host Andrew James pregaftt by _dcxtrous farmers — — ' r ' T ‘S °J"\°S+ armed only with a rubber 51°"-_ i W g _ C°'nP|Q+e dribbling over Graham's every word. A bad case of mad sheep disease, 0"‘-"5 So bewo-r€ +‘~==_ -re r-><=~+ oog ai- ax-I methinks...Did you know that if you tried to spell "Nottingham Forest d Football Club“ but got it wrong (and added an extra "u"), it would read Ii Q-ml. "BBC Man To Stuff Tool In A Huge Troll"...Nhy, on "Teenage Health Freak", - ' ' | d ‘ M Ia a- Q uuuuium aumatran town of Muara Enlm Y°5*°'d°Y- One °‘ ‘he pmlacts N mam m U r when they wanted to make central character Peter look a real dork, did 1 Forest management issue -Q they make him wear a faded Forest beany hat?...And lastly, did anyone else Apteoepoaudungg "bi i warms up at Ballgtalks notice that just as they announced BC's retirement on Central News there lg? .n_ul.- aRsaaluelnsgpuoupg '0o7o0tudJoou83At was an almighty roll of thunder and a flash of lightning? Perhaps Chris T” KUTA BEACH. Bali (JP)? 1 r " F _ 1 raflflefd ".*'1*.?°.?~i,‘"‘.1.‘.’,°.§‘='f.‘?.’l‘."i' Wootton should be advised to stay away from the golf course ousmatOwnasoultfleeqyd AJAJue5oJsaeBassen Loolcs lite 0'-/' we" '4' '09- ""~°"'/"'\ eyu1enoosnusnode1xn_ u-1|] ovveru Q-Fl*er' 0*” *'/*¢{"c','__' -l\- in--y Beat Mark Crossley floor. arms outstretched. and having Back On The Market, Not Buck On The Shell various friends. family members and strangers pile on top of you; - VIII A PIZZOII Two For The Price Of One" voucher for prices are automatically reduced by £1 on Listening to "Sport on 5" today» I heard "Don Gorgon's Pizza and Kebab House“, the way out. _ Ron Atkinson complaining that a ticket for Hyson Green. Relegation may cost Forest a fortune lfl x an executive box at Old Trafford (including Aren't the half—time penalty shoot*outs lost revenue, but it will certainly be a _ meal) had cost him £160. Poor Ron! But he 18 exciting ? I tell you, there's nothing 4). Before taking penno; ripping off huge saving for the fans. Ticket prices w1ll making a valid point. When it comes to k more pulsating than watching a few all your clothes, revealing the message be cheaper, but the biggest saving will be admission prices, the ordinary fa" T9 ta eh slapheads/fat gits/nobbos in shellsuits "SACK THE BOARD — KILL DENNIS McCARTHY" on travelling costs. Look at this lot: for a ride. We all know prices go UP f°F_d toe—nogging daisycutter after written in lipstick across your Leicester (probably), Wolves, Derby, Notts, big matches. What about knocking a few GUT daisycutter at some poor kid from the buttocks: Grimsby, Birmingham, Stoke and (hopefully) youth team who'd sooner be spending his 10p voucher off McVities Pecan and off for less attractive features? When Y0" Port Vale. _ ' Saturday afternoons hanging around Raisin Boosters. think about all the TV money coming into the Even if home crowds are down a bit, there Broadmarsh Bus Station with his "posse", game, and the prices Dflld for t°P Players» leering at girls, shoplifting, doing 5). Taking the ball off the spot, going isn't it disgraceful that supporters should is little excuse for us not to have a huge handbrake turns on Parliament Street and on a mazy run towards the Bridgford End, away support next season; it's the Perfeht stump up so much for 90 minutes of variable whatever tomfoolery youths get up to humming the Match of the Day theme tune opportunity to follow a winning team AND see "entertainment". nowadays. - as you beat 10 imaginary players, new grounds. I confidently expect "You're The solution? Easy. Pay TOP YOU" Seat °h It's got to the point where I can't volleying the ball past the invisible supposed to be at home" to be the No.1 chant the way out. Just imaglher F°F99t Play chap even tear myself away from my spot in keeper. wheeling round in a frenzy of for Forest fans next year — I can hardly and lose 1-3. Cloughie has Just Savhd the Trent End to have a slash, so I've celebration. pausing only to make wait! Yours Affesl “ himself £2,200 lfl win bonuses. So tlflket started to wear incontinence pants! Bit various masturbatory gestures towards — of a discomfort, I know (and a bit the visiting supporters: The Day The Music Died embarrassing, sloshing around the 10% discount voucher, "Sven Books", terraces when we score), but boy, is it Mansfield Road. that Forest should have got worth it to experience the crotch- As the season comes to an D0 YOU Fehemhef lt? well’ three points from it was tingling sensation of yet another spot- 6). Taking penno dressed as Elvis/the end all eyes focus on the it's the °hlY tlme I Ca“ this one v Southampton. The kick orgy! Queen/Madonna/one of the Krankies (your significance of the last think of when the crowd at referee was Such 3 Tee hee — fooled you, folks! Seriously, choice): few matches. The "if onlys" the City Ground has walked discip1inarian that the novelty of watching various Free lesson, "Su Pollard School of will be centred on the six- out in silence. None of the Southampton took off inadequates making arseholes of Taekwondo", Sneinton. pointer against the Blades, usual °°mm°ht5 ab°“t the Hurlock. Forest had 20 themselves in the box has worn off. but by the end of the result, about Forest, about corners to their 2, but After all, that's what the so—called 7). Tonking the ball over the Trent End professionals have been doing all roof for the subsequent collection and season it could all be a the PEI ‘ lust 5lle"°e' chances were squandered. In season, and they're being offered a bit load of cobbler5- Silence in memory 0f the the end we were presented 1ib@Pflti0H by some urchin from The more than a few poxy vouchers for the Meadows: I've been telling my most pathetic Penalty D155 with one point, but ended bastard souvenir shop. Ritual 15 E550 Tiger Tokens (only 485 more for friends that the most I have ever seen. In fdflta up with none_ humiliation and freak shows are the Pudsey Bear mugf). significant match of the AYOU °°")d Call ‘t The Reds have struggled interesting for only so long. I mean. at season was on Saturday 28th psychopathettc. h since that day, the day the Goose Fair, who bothers to have a look 8). Wedging the balls in the November. If there "35 °"e mate m sic died. DAMIEN 5 DAD U _ ;_ ‘ at Jock the Gentle Giant, or that Snake loudspeakers. thus muffling the Woman, or the little bloke that flogs patronising raffle of the announcer, as you the Lucky Beans for a quid? he gets on your tits pathetically PEJA V0, AGAIN So, if Forest insist on carrying on inciting the Trent End to take interest this charade next season, I feel it is in the sorry affair: the responsibility of the alternative A "Cheers late, Do You Want Tb Sleep replacements not found. Even his supporters, Once upon a time a "saviour" arrived who press — and BRIAN in particular — to With Hy Sister?“ voucher. who had basked in the glory he brought them, took control and promised a bright f"t"'° help spice it up a bit. Why not offer became uneasy and began to ask questions. alternative prizes to those stupid 9). (BBC Live Cup Matches only). where only despair had reiqhed h°f°'°- 1“ 3 Mistake after mistake was being made and a enough to chuck a tenner away, in order Blasting the ball towards the BBC short period of time his charisma and crisis loomed on the horizon, but the worse to entice them to do something, well, a "Pundits" Portakabin, smashing the dynamic energy had embraced all those Whd things got, the more he withdrew into bit more interesting ? Think about it: window, showering glass over Alan Hansen surrounded him, and installed lfl them an himself, reassuring everyone that he knew the attention of thousands of people, and Jimmy Hill live in front of the overwhelming belief that great tlmfls were best and would reverse the decline. As his the opportunity of 15 minutes of fame, nation: ahead. Almost overnight this one man reached empire crumbled around him he began to _ picture in The Sun, interview on A "Cheers Hate, Do You Want To Sleep heights of achievement that few had ever _ retreat into a world of fantasy, his grip on Midlands Today etc... With EVERYONE'S Sister?" voucher. dreamed of, sweeping aside all that stood 1n reality becoming evermore tenuous. There To get the ball rolling, as it were, I his way. Europe trembled at hlS feet as hlS were calls for his removal but these went am putting up some vouchers of my own 10). Taking pennos wearing a Derby shirt all-conquering machine marched on. Even when unheeded. and suggesting a few 'dares'... and scoring: his right-hand man deserted him and went Free BUPA hospital treatment. Eventually, at the end of April, shortly ' 1). Hitting and breaking someone's over to the enemy, success after success after his birthday, even he had to face the flask with missed penno; still followed. Nothing it seemed Could SIQP 5p voucher off Persil washing-up liquid. Yes, penno fans, for a mere £10 instant reality of his situation. He and all his this man, except maybe himself. _ _ fame. and the chance to become a stitch achievements lay in ruins. Deep in the 1 in the rich tapestry that is the history Eventually though he began t° helleve Y" 2). Taking a West Indies—sty1e run—up Berlin bunker on April 30th 1945, Adolf of Nottingham Forest FC. is within your his own infallibilty, hlS success fed hl5 from the halfway line: Hitler shot himself and the world breathed a 2p voucher off a Kit—Kat. reach. So, as George Michael put it: get ego until he reasoned only he could make the sigh of relief. Now until you got to that. back, hands off, GO FOR IT! You have right decision. But his actions became more last sentence, hands up how many of you nothing to lose but your self respect, 3). After scoring; sprinting over and more irrational. Talented individuals thought I was writing about Brian Clough? your friends and your season ticket. towards corner flag, kissing shirt/ were dismissed out of hand and suitable D.J.V00. shellsuit/anorak. throwing yourself on _k!_IQP V4LLEY'4LI-I -13-— Major Sponsors The "BRIAN" Guide To Football Idioms A handful of corporate businesses trying to get their best customers bevyed-up while watching NO'I'I'S Forest play And Their Usage soccer. Not you and me matey, by any stretch. Mascot Small person, whose day is made by having the honour of being ignored by all the players (except the substitute Auay'trips Opportunity for supporters to take more time off work, (qv)) before being dragged to have his/her photo taken travel hundreds of miles in foul'weathery worry about the within a grinning referee and two snarling full—backs. car being stolen, worry about swearing too loudly in Consistently fails to hear the chant of "The Mascot I front of the police, see the team put in a half-hearted (clap clap clap)" from the terrace (qv). Always taller performance and lose O-1, be ignored by the team and pay than the right-winger. about fifty quid for the privilege. ‘Midfield Four (or five, or three, or none) players who provide the Attack Players relied upon to score goals. Consists of 4' ll" engine room. Must be less than five feet tall and weigh "ball-winner" and a number nine with all the pace of an EITHER six stone wet through OR sixteen stones. abnormal load leaving Newport. Pagnell services, ‘who usually plays at the back anyway. Iational Stadium Venue where the country's premier knock-out tournaments Close Season Signing from Scotland are decided. Also the Mickey Mouse ones. Often used-as Player signed from "north of the border" (copyright slang term for "an open sewer" R.Wilson) in the sumer, felt by the coaching staff (qv) to be "one to watch" in the future. Invariably gets drunk Offside Condition in which an attacker (qv) invariably finds on first club tour, disappears into oblivion and returns himself, when attempting to score. Particularly at to Scotland for one tenth the original fee by February Highbury or Anfield. next year. Reject A former favourite of the club, who has subsequently been Coaching Staff Member of the management responsible for finding new transferred (qv) from the club, usually for about players and buying them before ignoring them completely. EBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, who goes on to meet with great success and glory, wherever he finds himself. Refer Corner Opportunity for tallest members of defence (qv) to lumber E.Sheringham. into opposition penalty area,(while travelling army _ chant random numbers at top of voice) before losing the Relegation EK3G6E6I¥h4HHHHHfi}—GOH4i316G—4IHHNHHHHHM#—b¥—4HHHJ§h4NHi ball. Invariably followed by goal against. £cotbal;-taame- Desperately unlucky situation that could happen to Defence Four (or five) players all of whom have played for their anybody, and no reason to smirk, whoever suffers from it. country at one level or another. Or if they haven't, were signed for a massive fee..Always let in.at least one soft Shot An attempt to kick the ball into the goal. Most not be (qv) goal per match. from a distance exceeding 18 inches Panzine A. courageous journal, battling against. mounting Shouting and pointing P bureaucracy, solely and selflessly for the benefit.of the A peculiar method of goal-keeping (qv) much employed by down-trodden supporter and often featuring highly such as P.Shilton and N.Southall, particularly when a educational dictionaries. Alteratively, a gravy-train for goal has just been conceded. Has no known benefits to the (laughingly called) authors, costing more than the actually keeping the ball away from the net. match-day programme (qv) and being half as interesting. Soft Species of goal conceded by defence (qv). Foul Any attempt to win the ball, when carried out by Terence Hurlock. Substitute Member of first team squad who has two prime responsibilities : 1) pass the ball to the mascot (qv) Goalkeeper Unique member of the team in that only the goalkeeper is during the kick-in : 2) collect the training tops from allowed to give the ball away using his HANDS. All other the proper players just before kick-off;.May also be seen players must give the ball away with other parts of the stretching and sprinting up and down the touchline during body. Also unique in that he has been told that his the game. Don't be fooled. He aint coming on. defence (qv) are actually trying to murder him, and should therefore be viewed as the enemy. Terrace The only place to watch football .Match-day‘PrograIne Transfer The method by which quality players leave, and complete Glossy'brochure, listing colourful advertisements for the donkeys join, our club. ' clubs major sponsors (qv), some out-of-date drivel about the opposition, a statistical list of the season so far, and a few patronising articles, clearly written by a mad- man. Chief lexicographer : Prof. S.A. Hanley Onward. Red And White Army... I \v Despite everything that's ,¢~_'_. Next season will be the big The fish? The fact they play happened on the pitch, this lfi sunny Cleethorpes by-the- test of our loyalty, but as L. theed I1 has perversely been quite an long as we're not propping up sea? It's all very exotic). dthanhero 13 ne enjoyable season to be a the basement again, I think Then there are the fans. As ei\ btain on" Forest fan. Our support this o Q -_q bjunye the numbers and the volume of those who travel regularly rec ti I :- term has been magnificent, II — our support will not drop. away to cup games against injure Ala. 1 1; 'tah':do -in hopefully finally putting §"§ Oi How many other relegated lower division sides will mnyeeprominent paid to the myth that we're a sides would have to queue know, the policing at some of an tsaohown ommenda lideseoams.efofSrtouae"nrt'sdwTkEaACaHiEtRgMAaFin Y‘ TH ,ll. difastapchortiuoomavuilde-hemqddaentdatihseofposfpnfhocensuqoeundbe-lunyllhnng fofot-Qrlnmiuontp.toss'beoflheno 707501-462 Afipcakrlte,froampaDtheerbtiyc'sbulancckh. of 2fr,o0m005atimckteotssefcourrethoneeirolfast tbheesdeespirleacde.sThleearveeswiall lobet ato dRobson S PUEARK-CMEE.R i — c-on success and the games against game? I've heard of people lot of local and local-ish I 0- &-11 H108! Spurs and Leeds, the fondest who just missed out driving derbies (expect plenty of d memories of the season, for H straight to Portman Road. One Early kick—offs) and all the j mOIt me, will be of the atmosphere bloke tok five changes of meatheads will be coming out " KPEHEAAURECTOEu I ftwunhamiteeh fock~mre—up 5e1n elhu l nrco¢m..l1iec~y [€/QE'--l4'/fi(N1O bh1ceataecohedthQ-I ipmttpphoomrtn:.t FDamnuem7i:lbeer: at the Sheffield United game, clothing and returned to the to have a pop at Forest. Linaekner P5 1 GFEcuNNuDrlrAlo-RiTYc PNLUrICsYPE’H/K15 l IIIQIB I'll no the singing at Everton and ticket office at half—hour Should Leicester and EII z1ewshr f"r‘r~smw 21_:1-4-/42. of the fans and the team fans sang "You're going down celebration for the last 18 QCoJwToYo MIs-'<|>uo=Rmir-.EtScT hJ(}iL,.S§2grj' I-1 because you're crap”. Gayle's years, memories of Munich and ~ couldn't have been greater, IHDDHDLHUSDHJNHPMYTHDBIPCHUW _'. A6rc//<‘‘5.r19:/arz‘ iuebuicqmflnmqpuanvmmnomnhfiqumsfinn)"v I for this was as passion-less a header for the second goal Madrid, not moaning about | *1 F(¢ocl-='Eqi'0/Atgo1Uw..qs EMAHTFA_so0EAos~'Alw'oTodMArLL (after Marriott had looked as having to go to Barnsley \ ~ display as we've witnessed all S FHwGTlo'APwRE0.CA»G|€ FrvA.uCS1u$|° Brian Clough will be a legend l Qkae PS/iTE/OooHIHMQSFREEOrk.Nuvn TRnlAMéT\oN I season: Chet and Williams were teflon-gloved as Norman from \-D »- hfim) HG the initial corner) only in this part of the world even DE Z particularly woeful in ' l 6FLoeoc1Tln-6ws'A-aUa.st frHZéQ"tAcErcOLnCe5nvDrny"rvFMmtEce Si-\HccH;EVSNS6-N°TTFEH0ou.'fii»!c1é:fl-mr{.rgs FA I‘- l emphasised that fact. when Robin Hood's forgotten. | '1 l defence, Gemmill (preferred to 5'; EvOTFionvnHue-OFoEsw: Y Steve Stone again...) was as Yet once the game was over, Here's to a long and happy ._. . .. \- "'" '5 Yournuneandlddrea NOMINEESNAMB foremmea HADODMREESS DOATFEBIRuTrnHmwdmvrqr GOROFUBTDS MHcniaruopfl HoSlPN\HJYS0ES\H-(TRR/OlME5RWM.CN(

Brian #36

Similar Brian #36