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The One-Life Solution: Reclaim Your Personal Life While Achieving Greater Professional Success PDF

424 Pages·2008·1.33 MB·English
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The One-Life Solution Reclaim Your Personal Life While Achieving Greater Professional Success Dr. Henry Cloud TO MY PARENTS, Henry and Louise Cloud, who both passed away during this book’s writing. Thank you for the integrated life you both led. You showed us that it is possible to make business, family, faith, service, and fun all come together. You leave your family, your friends, and your community much to be grateful for. We will miss you, and may we strive to give all of life its due, as you both did for more than ninety years. Contents Part One: Foundations 1. Identifying the Problem—and the Solution 3 2. Your Vision and Your Boundaries 33 3. Structure and Boundaries 51 Part Two: Rebuilding Boundaries 4. Reclaiming Your Power 89 5. The Audit 110 6. The Laws of Boundaries 143 7. You and Your Words 182 8. Make the “No-Choice” Choices First 226 9. Follow the Misery and Make a Rule 248 iv Contents Part Three: Boundaries on the Job 10. Time, Space, and E-Mail 283 11. Getting Your Balance Sheet in Order 308 12. End Some Things Now 325 13. Communicating Your Boundaries 339 Conclusion: The Path Ahead 381 Appendix: Helpful Hints 389 Acknowledgments About the Author Other Books by Dr. Henry Cloud Credits Cover Copyright About the Publisher PART ONE Foundations 1. Identifying the Problem— and the Solution MARIA, THE CEO WHO CAN’T PULL THE TRIGGER Maria is the CEO of a tech company, and has a team reporting to her that has multiple func- tions, from finance to marketing and retail. She is ultimately responsible for both the performance of the business and for the culture within the organization. Profits have been good for several years, and because of that she has been able to hide a problem that troubles her in her more reflective moments. Stan, one of her VPs, is a weak link in the team. She knows it, and so do others. A very nice guy, he is just not the kind of performer the team needs in that position. The momentum they have experienced keeps 4 FOUNDATIONS the overall picture looking good enough to hide what everyone at that level knows to be true. Stan is over his head and should be replaced. Other team members resent the fact that he is there for two reasons. First, they feel like their efforts are making him successful, and thus feel that the situation is not fair. But second, and more demoralizing, they know they could all be at a different level if Stan were replaced. They feel like they are being cheated of what they could all have if a real star were in his place. So, they feel deflated about where they are, resentful of Stan, who is such a nice guy, and resentful of Maria, who will not do anything about him. When I asked Maria why she could not fix the situation, she said, “I just cannot pull the trigger with him. He is so nice. He is fifty-five years old, at the pinnacle of his career, and it would kill him. Where would he go? I don’t know. I know I should do something, and I have to, but so far, I just have not been able to do it. I just keep putting off the inevitable.” DAVID, THE MANAGER WHO CAN’T STAND UP TO A BULLYING BOSS David is a middle manager on an operations team. He is responsible for project management and keeping production schedules moving forward. As a result, he

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Most books are stored in the elastic cloud where traffic is expensive. For this reason, we have a limit on daily download.