Womonspace News: Our Voice in the Lesbian Community: Oct 1995

16 Pages·1995·2.8 MB·English

|e e
"NEWS
bian community
In This Issue:
Work
Closets
7 : At 28, | was more worldly. | really
A Library Lesbian wanted my co-workers at my new job
Lindy Pratch to like me. |w as aware of how
It took a long time to find a job that blinding stereotypes can be, and so |
suited me perfectly. Seven years later, Hain pgenestordilesbiarewhead
I’m still thankful that I found that job, answered their questions. | saw Ann
and that I look forward to arriving at watching me carefully at coffee time
work each morning. I work at the sie panes —waiting to see what I would
Southgate branch of the Edmonton , say—as the other women
Public Library. asked me about myself.
Ann, the manager who hired
My initial information was
me, had known me from my guarded. I told them briefly
about my partner, Elaine,
I were quite visible on campus, <5, tr Oe
= _c alling her simply “the woman
and it was Ann’s first direct
“Tlive with.” Im entioned Elaine
experience with lesbians. At that time,
often, and some of my colleagues
I was twenty years old. I had yet to
caught on quickly, bless them. |
experience name-calling and sneers. I
gradually shared more and more of
had yet to meet women who were
myself, until |w as out to everyone
beaten up on the street simply because
who cared to know.
they were identified as dykes. My
My approach has changed, now
naivete enabled me to be open and ~
that I am comfortable at Southgate.
trusting.
Submissions of interest to local lesbians are always welcome!
You may either write to Womonspace (#30-9930-106 St. Edmonton AB T5K 1C7),
or attend our next newsletter meeting (see the calendar of events in this issue).
Contributors this issue:
Lindy Pratch, Alison, Roz Ostendorf, Sherry McKibben, Karen, Laurie
Womonspace News is a publication of Womonspace Social and Recreational Society of Edmonton. We are a nonprofit
organization. The newsletter is produced by, for, and about lesbians in Edmonton and the surrounding areas. Our purpose is to
inform and entertain our members and any other interested lesbians. The opinions expressed in any issue of Womonspace News
do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the Directors or the Newsletter Committee. The events, organizations and establishments
publicized are not necessarily supported by Womonspace. Womonspace News is produced on a volunteer basis by the Newsletter
Committee. We welcome submissions. Material submitted becomes the property of Womonspace. We reserve the right to edit
for length and content, and to refuse publication. Articles or letters to the editor may be sent to: Womonspace, #30-9930-106
Street, Edmonton, AB TSK 1C7. Womonspace members may submit classified advertising—up to 3 lines free—at any time.
Womonspace News seeks advertising that 1s lesbian-positive to help defer publications costs. Womonspace does not necessarily
endorse products or services offered. We reserve the right to refuse ads. For rate information, and to place an ad, please leave a
message on the Lesbian Life Line: 425-0511. The editor is Lindy Pratch.
2 WOMONSPACE NEWS
Sometimes I tell new staff that I’m a As regular Womonspace News
lesbian right at the start, if they ask me readers will know, I have undertaken
if ’m married. Other times Ill say that the pilot project of identifying,
I’m with someone, and leave it at that Southgate’s gay and lesbian fiction
for starters. Later, that person will get with rainbow stickers (which I hope
to know me better. will be adopted throughout the library
Every month for the last two years, I system) and also of compiling lists of
have taken copies of this newsletter into gay and lesbian titles in our collection.
the library to set on our table of give- These will be available online through
away literature. They disappear Edmonton freenet.
quickly. One day, I watched a patron Although there has been some
perusing this table, her hand lightly Opposition from patrons, I’ve had
resting on Woronspace News as her nothing but encouragement from other
eyes scanned the other material library staff. This project has also given
available there.When she got to our me ties with gay staff at the other
newsletter, it was obviously a shock. public library locations.
She snatched her hand back as if it had My co-workers have told me that
been burned, and hurried away. | they appreciate my openness, and have
related the incident to my co-workers, said it makes a positive difference in
and we all laughed. how they feel about gay issues. It is this
| was surprised to find a staff kind of response that reinforces both
member reading the newsletter at our my sense of self-worth ard my love for
information desk, one morning. She my job.
told me she looked forward to the The public library is a place of
horoscopes each month. (Since Renée intellectual freedom, and the staff tend
has taken a writer’s sabbatical, her to hold a liberal outlook. This has made
astrological column has been missed by it an easier workplace to be out in.
many women.) Even so, it has taken quite a while for
Support from my co-workers is me to be comfortable having the
shown in different ways. They ask how knowledge of my lesbian self available
Elaine is doing, and congratulate me on throughout the library system. The
our anniversary. When Elaine was reward is that my life feels whole.
pictured on the front page of 77ie I’m trying to live my life as though
Edmonton Journal, people brought in social change has already happened
extra copies for me, unasked. I sing in a —as though being a lesbian makes
choir, and the presence of my co- absolutely no difference to anyone, and
workers at our Edmonton Vocal who I am as a person is what is
Minority concerts is especially dear to important. I feel very fortunate that I
me. am able to do this.
WOMONSPACE NEWS 3
Work I may be successful at being in the
work closet, but it is starting to hurt.
Can be a Lonely Place All week long, I am in a social vacuum.
It is lonely and isolating. It is splitting
Alison
me in two to keep separate my personal
I am definitely in the work closet.
and work lives. It is taking a lot of
Afraid of the consequences, | have
energy to protect my private life, and |
chosen to not disclose my lifestyle at
am getting exhausted.
work. Instead, | am vague, distant and
In his book Gay /ssues in the
aloof. 1 am an avoider. I steer clear of
Workplace, Brian McNaught discusses
situations in which I might reveal the
six stages of coming out in the
everyday information people typically
workplace. I put myself at about stage
share with co-workers. I show little
two or three. Gay women in stage one
interest in my co-workers lives,
have a worse time at work than | do.
fearing they may respond with a
These women deny or do not accept
similar inquisitiveness. When | do
their sexual identity. At work, they may
participate in informal discussions, |
be the ones telling or laughing at anti-
try to direct attention away from
gay jokes, or are most vocal in their
myself.
opposition to the inclusion of sexual
I am so good at being in the work
orientation in a non-discrimination
closet that most of my co-workers do
policy. Such women are often unhappy
not know the most basic facts about
and disruptive at work and may not
me. They don’t know where I live, or
make good team players. The anxiety of
that I share my home with someone.
denial may cause them to abuse alcohol
They don’t know that I own a Car.
and other drugs.
They don’t know where I grew up,
Those in stage two accept that they
who my family is, or if my parents are
may be gay, but need to consider the
dead or alive. They don’t know what I
ramifications. If they are gay, they
do on weekends, holidays, or for
wonder if they can pursue the career of
vacations. They also have to draw odd
their choice. At work, they may resent
conclusions about me. This summer
other more openly gay employees. They ©
most of them thought I spent all three
may oppose domestic partner benefits,
weeks of my vacation, when my
denying that gay relationships be
sweetie and I gallivanted across four
valued equally to heterosexual
provinces, completely by myself, Some
marriage. They may fear the hostility of
co-workers have also concluded that I
the significant heterosexual people in
must spend my birthday and
their lives and choose to live and work
Christmas alone.
far away from them.
4 WOMONSPACE NEWS
In stage three, a woman has issues. They will attend an office event
accepted that she is gay and begins a with a gay significant other. They may
search for community to fulfill her feel angry and frustrated at the years
social and emotional needs. At work, they spent in the closet, and can appear
she is nervous about attending to have lost their sense of humour or
“Homophobia in the Workplace” proportion.
workshops, but is not hostile about In stage six, a gay woman feels her
them. She may be interested in joining homosexuality is integrated into all
the gay and lesbian support group at aspects of her life, including the
work, but only if the meetings are held workplace. Along with her pride, she
off-site. will still feel anger and distrust. But she
Women in stage four accept rather recognizes that there is diversity among
that tolerate being gay. They are both gay and straight people and does
looking to build a life that reinforces a not make quick judgments based on
positive identity. They will watch and sexual orientation. This makes her a
be influenced by both closeted and out good team player. She becomes a
gay co-workers, and by the attitudes of unique member of the workforce,
other employees. These women would encountering others with pride, a sense
make note of co-workers who of self, tolerance of difference, and an
communicate their support of gay open mind.
issues by posting “Safe Place” magnets, My partner is probably in early
depicting a pink triangle surrounded by stage five. Her co-workers know lots of
a green circle, in their offices. everyday facts about her, and together
At stage five, women see being fully they share a strong workplace
gay as legitimate and immerse camaraderie. She mentions my name
themselves in the gay subculture. Their freely whenever she discusses the
pride in being gay, combined with their comings and goings of home life. Her
anger at homophobia and co-workers know that I bake the great
heterosexism, may cause them to be muffins she takes to work each day.
more politically active in the They know we visited my folks on our
workplace. They will join the gay and summer holidays. Best of all, they get to
lesbian support group at work and enjoy her sunny disposition because it
want the meetings held on-site. They is not hidden deep within that work
will tell more people, from co-workers closet. Her example helps me to see the
to managers, they are gay. They will next steps I can take to move up a stage
organize “Gay Awareness” weeks at or two.
work. They will volunteer to speak as Gay Issues in the Workplace (1993) by Brian
an openly gay woman during McNaught, author of On Being Gay, is
available in the library at Grant MacEwan
department meetings on diversity
Community College.
WOMONSPACE NEWS 5
Coming Out at Work?
Try a Dose of Humour!
Roz Ostendorf
Coming out at work can take many forms, some of them
unexpected, ironic, and really funny.
I was chatting with one of my colleagues one afternoon, EesDt
laughing about a co-worker trying to extract his feet from his ‘ee
mouth after referring to a client’s wife as his mother. Suddenly,
my colleague started to talk about a client who she believed was
a lesbian, until she met her granddaughter. (Obviously, this
colleague is in need of a little education!)
Without a pause, she said to me—I am already out to a fair
number of people at work—“And have you ever been to that
Safeway at 116"? There’s all sorts of them there.”
I was silent, as conflicting courses of action sped through my thoughts. A retort
such as, “Why do you think I shop there?” competed with the urge to physically
express my displeasure at her tone of righteous indignation. My desire for
diplomacy, sensitization and the creation of an environment of mutual respect
overrode the first two impulses.
We both turned away, considering what had transpired. I was still silent; still
thinking. i
Her face betrayed considerable embarrassment when she again caught my eye.
“I guess I should take my foot out of my mouth too, eh?” I heartily agreed to that
idea.
We, and a great number of other people, have since laughed about that
incident. Guess you break different kinds of ice with different people.
Touché — in Grande Prairie
Alberta’s Most Northerly Alternative Nightclub for Les/Bi/Gay Clientele
Food and drinks, pool table, dancing, and a community bulletin board—come check us out!
— #201- 8502-112 Street, Grande Prairie, AB T8V 4X5
Phone [phone]
6 WOMONSPACE NEWS
City Elections
Quote:
Sherry McKibben
The past 20 months since my by-election
| believe the biggest, strongest
win in January, 1994 has been a real
weapon of our movement for
emotional roller coaster. Being a member of
equality is visibility, and the best City Council is both immensely fulfilling
way to get it is to come out. ... and sometimes terribly frustrating. Mostly
By coming out to our friends, it’s a lot of hard work.
family, employers, and As a progressive Council member, I’m
employees, we make ourselves delighted to be representing your interests
at City Hall. One of the key themes I’ve been
personal, touchable, real. We
promoting throughout my work is
become human beings, and then
enhancing the level of tolerance in our city.
we have the opportunity to show
That means accommodating, understanding
the world what we are all and even celebrating the differences in our
about—happy, intelligent, giving, community.
loving people. We can show our To continue working for you at City Hall,
moral strength, dignity, character. I need your help. It’s especially important
We can share our joy and for lesbians to vote because we can’t rely on
the tolerance of others to protect our
sorrow, our happiness and pain.
human rights. We need to assert our rights
We can just be. | urge you to be
every chance we get. One way is to vote for
out. Encourage your lovers and
people who represent our interests, who
friends to come out.
speak to our issues.
Come out, be proud, and be A good place to start is to get involved in
true to yourself. the October 16" civic election. Inform
Martina Navratilova yourself about the issues, clarify the
(From a transcript of a speech positions of candidates, and then help get
delivered at the National March you candidate of choice elected. There are
dozens of ways to get involved: put up
on Washington for Lesbian, Gay,
campaign signs, drop leaflets, talk to your
and Bi Equal Rights, held April 25,
friends and neighbours, contribute
1993.)
financially to a campaign. To work on my
campaign, please call 944-5205.
Most of all, remember that voting
is your right. Please
exercise it on October 16".
WOMONSPACE NEWS iT
CALENDAR OF EVENTS
September Events:
Groups and Weekly Events:
Sunday, October 1
AIDS Walk for Life
GLCCE (Gay and Lesbian Community Centre The walk will be held at Kinsmen Park. Check-
of Edmonton) has a new address! Now located in & entertainment begins at 10 am; the walk
in the basement below Boystown Cafe, 10112- starts at noon. Individuals, students & teams
124 Street. It is open Monday to Friday from 7- are encouraged to participate in the 3 km or 7
10 pm and Mondays and Wednesday from 1-4 km walk through the river valley trails.
pm. Peer support counselling, lesbian coming Womonspace News Meeting
out group, drop-in, and library. 488-3234. Boystown, 10116-124 St., at noon. New
volunteers are always welcome.
OUTreach social & political student group
on the University of Alberta campus: 988- Wednesday & Thursday, October 4 & 5
4166. Bruised
An evening of theatre & discussion on violence
Adamant Eve feminist radio program in lesbian relationships. Wednesday’s event is
for service providers, volunteers & all
broadcast on CJSR, FM 88.5, at the University
interested persons; the cost is $5. Thursday’s
of Alberta. Thursdays from 5-6 pm.
event is for women only; donations upon entry.
The times are the same each evening; 7-10 pm,
Gaywire A lesbian and gay radio show on FM
at the Catalyst Theatre, 10943-84 Ave. For
88.5. Thursdays from 6-7 pm. more info, call 488-3234.
*
¥
Edmonton Frontrunners Meet at the SE Friday, October 6
steps of the Butterdome, changed and ready to Cabaret for Michael Phair
go, every Sunday at 9 am sharp, and run Listen to a live latin band, Risasa, at La Habana,
through the river valley. Jeff: 439-9803. 10238-104 St. on Friday evening. $5 at the
door. All are welcome to this fundraiser for
Lambda Christian Community Michael Phair.
Welcomes members of the lesbigay
community; worship 7 pm Sundays, 10876-97 Saturday, October 7
Street. Phone [phone]. A Dance for Ladies Only
Shakespear’s Darts & Rumpus Room, 2nd
Metropolitan Community Church Floor- 10306-112 Street. 429-7234 for details.
Weekly worship, 10086 MacDonald Drive,
Sundays at 7:15 pm. Monday, October 9
Sacred Circle Dancing
SOLO Social club for lesbians and bisexual Open to all women who want to come dance;
_women (over 18) gets together every week for no experience or expertise required. $4
a wide variety of public events and social admission. 7-9 pm, Riverdale Hall, 9231-100
functions. Join the fun! Linda at 447-4776. Ave. Call Mair, 433-1661 for details,
SSES
8 WOMONSPACE NEWS
Westin Ballroom, 10135-100 St. Tickets $15
Wednesday, October 11
with all proceeds going to Alberta Breast
Coming, Out Day
Cancer Research and Wings. Call 497-3221.
Come out, come out!
Grand Opening of New Gay & Lesbian
Saturday, October 28
Community Centre of Edmonton Edmonton Vocal Minority Cabaret
Ribbon cutting ceremony at 7 pm. Check out Season-opening cabaret at the Catalyst Theatre,
our new location in the basement at 1011 2- 10943-84 Ave. Cocktails at 7 pm and
124 St. and then join us upstairs for a cabaret performance starts at 8 pm. Tickets $15 in
at Boystown (101 16-124 St.). advance or $18 at the door. Call 486-9661
(ext 14) for tickets. Bring your chequebooks
Sunday, October 15 for the open bid auction!
Womonspace Annual General Meeting
6:30 pm at Jazzberrys, 9965 Whyte Ave. Tuesday, October 31
Elections for Board positions. Upcoming events Wayward Daughters
and our future direction. You decide! All Interfaith group of MCC welcomes women
members are urged to attend this important, wishing to share their faith experience &
once-a~year event. Supper will be provided. spirituality with a supportive group. October’s
This meeting is for Womonspace members only. celebration is centered on the theme of the
crone. Contact Karen at 431-2128 for location
Monday, October 16 and further info.
Edmonton Civic Election
Make your vote count! Support the re-election Wednesday, November 1
campaigns for Michael Phair & Sherry Womonspace General Meeting
McKibben. Contact Election Services at the City 7:30 pm at #30, 9930-106 St. If you are
Clerk’s office, 496-8008, if you require info on interested in becoming involved with our
voting stations in your area. organization, come on down!
Saturday, October 21 Saturday, November 4
Womonspace Dance A Dance for Ladies Only
Catering by Jazzberrys, low-cost drinks, no cost Shakespear’s Darts & Rumpus Room, 2nd Floor-
beverages for non-drinkers and designated 10306 112 Street. Call 429-7234 for details.
drivers and LOTS OF DANCING! Bonnie Doon
Community Ilall, 9240-93 St, 8 pm- 1 am. Sunday, November 5
Womonspace members $4, non-members $8.
Womonspace News Meeting
Boystown, 101 16-124 Street, at noon.
Monday, October 23 Submissions deadline for December issue on
Sacred Circle Dancing the topic “Community.” New volunteers are
See October 9 entry for details. always welcome.
Wednesday, October 25 Gay & Lesbian Infoline:
Investment Strategies for Women
988-4018
An evening seminar hosted by Jackie
Charlesworth, Kathy Henderson & Corrine Fuhr
of Scotia McLeod. Feature presentaion by Gail Lesbian Life Line: 425-0511
Kennedy, author of You’re Worth It. 7:30 at the
WOMONSPACE NEWS 9
Work Closets and I share a home, two cats, a
stubborn vegetable garden; that we go
Laurie
out dancing together, and ‘do coffee’ at
To be or not to be ... out ... at work.
places known to be frequented by
Straight people have it so easy. They
(gasp) gay and lesbian clientele; that I
don’t have to agonize over whether to
write for the local lesbian newsletter;
tell their co-workers about the latest
and that I have several bookshelves full .
adventure with their wife/husband/
of lesbian literature (‘cliterature’, as I
girlfriend/boyfriend. Talk of spouses or
like to call it) and gay magazines that I
significant others is so harmless ... they
don’t bother to hide when company
don’t ever have to think about
comes over; and that the six-foot
censoring their conversation, because
rainbow flag hanging in our bathroom
everyone concerned is presumed to be
symbolizes freedom for all persons, not
happily heterosexual unless otherwise
just our homosexual sisters and
specified. (And why would anybody
brothers.
want to admit to being anything other
One of these days, I keep telling
than happily heterosexual?)
myself, I’ll stop pretending and shock
People benignly immersed in
them all—although how much of a
straight relationships can spout off ad
shock it would be, I’m not sure. In
nauscum about the latest piece of
eleven years on the job, I’ve never
furniture THEY bought together, or
worn a dress or carried a purse,
how well THEIR perennials are doing,
spoken of a boyfriend or feigned the
or the great time THEY had in the
slightest interest in men. Think ?’m
mountains on that romantic weekend
fooling anybody?
getaway.
Yep, one of these days I’m going to
I, on the other hand—with both feet
stomp into that payroll office and get
firmly rooted in the work closet—feel |
my lesbian partner signed up on my
have no choice but to be very selective
spousal benefits package. The company
about what I tell my co-workers about
I toil for is one of the few corporations
my personal life. They know virtually
that offers complete benefits to same-
nothing about how I spend the 16
sex partners.
hours a day that I’m not at the office.
But reaping those benefits would
Most of them probably assume I have
mean no more hiding. There’s no such
no life. No social life, anyway. I think
thing as coming halfway out of that
they figure I just go home and sleep—
corporate closet. And once you’re out,
alone, of course—unitil it’s time to
there’s no turning back. You can’t say
return for my next shift.
you were just confused, or temporarily
They’d no doubt be amazed to learn
insane (unless you’re in the military,
that I not only have a lover, but that she
where recanting statements about one’s
10 WOMONSPACE NEWS