Womonspace News: Our Voice in the Lesbian Community: May 1996

14 Pages·1996·2.8 MB·English

Editorial
equality is such an important aspect
ANNIE SPRINKLE that shifting power in the bedroom
seems unnatural. Inequality (no matter
by Lindy Pratch
how voluntarily the power may be
Annie Sprinkle was interviewed in
conceded) is a necessary ingredient in
the Feb/March 1996 issue of Diva.
SM activity.
Annie has for twenty years been an icon
My views on SM are about the same
of positive sex pleasure. She has been
as my views on the recreational use of
celebrated as the proof that women
drugs and alcohol. They all can feel
could change the porn industry from
good, but they’re not good for you.
within.
Each woman must make personal
Annie has recently come out as a
choices in living her life, weighing
lesbian—she previously identified
pleasure against the possible harm.
herself as bisexual—and she’s
When I drink alcohol, ’m aware of the
reassessing her life. “I used to be such a
damage it causes to my central nervous
party girl. You know, if it felt good do it;
system. Its harmful effects are well
no guilt. And now...” She’s really
documented. The risk of SM is not so
changed her mind about all the heavy
obvious. How can we measure its effect ~
SM she was into. “I don’t want to
on our psyche and sense of self?
perpetuate images of sadism and
Annie Sprinkle has been on the
masochism, slavery and bondage. It’s
sexual forefront for years, campaigning
more challenging to be interested in
for women’s sexual fulfilment. Yet her
relationships and monogamy,
current insights have been achieved at
tenderness and real caring.”
a great cost. In spite of her bravado,
I was an eager participant in SM play
she gives the impression of having been
when I was younger—although never in
damaged. Annie’s new interest in the
the same league as Annie Sprinkle. Like
virtues of vanilla sex is something for
Arnie, however, I no longer desire it.
other lesbians to ponder.
My current relationship is one in which
Womonspace News 1s a publication of Womonspace Social and Recreational Society of Edmonton. We are a nonprofit
organization. The newsletter is produced by, for, and about lesbians in [idmonton and the surrounding areas. Our purpose is to
inform and entertain our members and any other interested lesbians. The opinions expressed in any issue of }Vomonspace News
do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the Directors or the Newsletter Committee. The events, organizations and establishments
publicized are not necessarily supported by Womonspace. Homonspace News is produced ona volunteer basis by the Newsletter
Committee. We welcome submissions. Material submitted becomes the property of Womonspace. We reserve the right to edit
for length and content, and to refuse publication. Articles or letters to the editor may be sent to: Womonspace, #30-9930-106
Street, dmonton, AB TSK 1C7. Womonspace members may submit classified advertising—up to 3 lines free—at any time.
Womonspace News secks advertising that 1s lesbian-positive to help defer publications costs. Womonspace does not necessarily
endorse products or services offered. We reserve the nght to refuse ads. lor rate information, and to place an ad, please leave a
message on the Lesbian Life Line: 425-0511. The editor is Lindy Pratch.
2 WOMONSPACE NEWS
THE ABC’S OF S&M erotic styles. Many women may cross these
styles or simply be into leather, yet may call
by Jess it all S&M.
A: ALLOWING yourself to let go. O: OPENESS to yourself and your lover.
B: BOTTOM; she who is in charge. P: PAIN; everyone thinks S&M is about
C: CHAINS; along with ropes, hurting your lover. This is a simplistic
handcuffs, scarfs, hands—used to tease, misunderstanding of very complex
stimulate and restrain. (Restraint being an physiological and psychological responses.
activity used by most lovers, S&M & non- P: (again), this time for PSYCHOTIC,
S&M’ers alike.) which some people think S&Mers are, or
D: DILDO; one of many sex toys used crazy or traumatized or abusive. Yet
by S&Mers. skydivers, racecar drivers, martial artists,
E: ENJOYMENT; the reason people do and athletes of all kinds constantly place
S&M. themselves in far more painful and
F: FLAGELLATION; hitting with dangerous situations for the thrill and
whiplike objects. This causes pain, which challenge of it, and some people think they
in turn releases endorphins which give are heroes.
pleasurable feelings. Can be likened to a Q: QUEER; many queers find more
runner’s high. acceptance from the S&M heterosexual
G: GANG RAPE; S&Mers use fantasy as community than from their own.
a way to safely explore dangerous R: ROLE PLAYING; a playful way to
situations and emotions. spend time with a lover dressing and acting
H: HAIR; another fun sex toy, used for like a princess, a warrior, a doctor, a
grabbing, pulling, running fingers vamp—you name it, you can be it—just like
through. when you were a kid.
I: INTELLECTUALLY stimulating. S: SAFE, SANE AND CONSENSUAL are
J: JUICED. Alcohol and drug use is not the key words in any S&M encounter.
encouraged during S&M play. S&Mers T: TIT CLAMPS; another sex toy used for
often have very high standards of applying pressure to the nipples. Work like
acceptable behaviours. fingers, but allow the hands to be busy
K: K-Y JELLY. Lubricant is another item doing something else.
frequently used in S&M sex. For fisting U: YOU ought not to judge, especially
(hand in vagina), anal sex, or for the sheer something you may know little about.
delight of the cool wetness. V: VERY EXCITING
L: LOVE; many S&M practioners are W: WOW
deeply in love with their partners. X: EXCTASY; a state reached by many
M: MASTURBATING yourself while routes, S&M being one.
your lover watches might be an S&M scene. Y: YOUTHFUL; S&M is another way to
N: NOT JUST ABOUT PAIN; S&M has keep the spark in your relationship.
come to be a catch-all term used for actual Z: ZANY FUN; what you can have when
sadism & masochism, leather, fetish and practising S&M.
WOMONSPACE NEWS 3
THE PAIN—PLEASURE children: suffer the dentist and you get
ice cream; get a spanking now and
MESSAGE
hugs of forgiveness later; scrape your
by Sheryl McInnes knee and get a cookie; daddy fondles
It was serendipity that I picked up you and you get his undying love.
David Lindsey's Mercy for my mystery Given the constant repetition of the
read of the week just as I was preparing pain-~pleasure message, it is little
to write this article. Much to my wonder that some women/lesbians
surprise, the plot of Mercy revolves bring that message into their sexuality
around lesbians and sadomasochism and then justify their sexual practice as
(SM). This was the first time that I had harmless ritual play or radical
read a fictional account of SM that performance.
neither glorified nor promoted it. Those of us whose cultural history
Lindsey was a little heavy-handed on contains violence, terror and bondage
the incest+lesbian+SM connection. may have difficulty understanding SM
Aside from that it was a fairly intelligent as a practice during intimacy. Those of
read on bisexuality and lesbianism us who choose to work hard at finding
among privileged, middleclass white mutuality in sexual activity are =
women. I want to explore a point that is currently being put down as soft,
hinted at in Mercy, and is more obvious vanilla, politically correct types who
in most feminist literature and films on are failing at the task of being truly
lesbians and SM (see reading list below). queer.
The point is that in Western Judeo- Nonsense! Violence is violence
Christian cultures there are deeply under any name, pain is pain whether
internalized connections between ritualized or not, and pleasure should
pleasure and pain. not need pain to justify it. I have
From early times, both the Christian thought about this a lot, and find lam
ethic and pagan rituals have constructed suspicious when someone tells me that
a world in which pain come before SM is about eroticism, not about
pleasure. The misery of a life of poverty violence, or pain.
and sexual denial, the pain of starvation, The question is why a woman/
isqlation, and mind-rape led inevitably lesbian cannot be orgasmic without
to salvation and a place in ‘heaven’. pain, or the threat of pain. Dorothy
Slavery, colonization, the work ethic, Allison (Bastard Out of Carolina; Trash)
and codes of conduct that excluded has perhaps been the most honest in
women from literacy and public life all admitting that childhood experiences
gave the same message; suffer now in of incest and particular methods of
order to have pleasure later. masturbation led to a numbing that
We repeat this message to our required pain, or threat of pain, to
4 WOMONSPACE NEWS
bring her to the consciousness required Drawing the Line, and Her Tongue
for orgasm in a partnered sexuality. on My Theory, Kiss & Tell Collective
This makes sense, and presents us Making Violence Sexy, Diane
with a starting point for discussion. We Russell, 1993
can all examine our early experiences For pro-SM arguments and ‘how to’,
with sexual activity and talk about how read On Our Backs magazine, and
that has influenced our lesbian books by Pat Califia.
sexuality without glorifying our
preferences, or demeaning those with QUOTE:
different preferences.
What I’ve found quite jolting in
At the same time, we need to be
several communities is the impulse to
vigilant about the role of violence
silence and ostracize lesbian batterers
among or between lesbians. Agreeing to
tolerance of SM leads to the slippery while at the same time providing a
slope that can become an endorsement forum for lesbian sadists ...
of, or failure to recognize, lesbian Advocating sadomasochism does not
battering and/or the community help the lesbian batterer channel her
terrorism of blaming and shaming. We very powerful energy and rage
may not be able to avoid the cultural
elsewhere. Instead it tells her that
conditioning that surrounds us with
hitting another womon may be OK
pain-~pleasure messages, but we can be
especially if the other “asks for it.”.
alert for how those messages enter into
Sarah Lucia Hoagland, in Against
our relationships.
Sadomasochism, R.R. Linden, D.R.
Read more about it:
Pagano, D.E.H. Russell, and S.L. Star,
“S&M is an Adventure” Donna ed., 1982.
Barker, Hireweed, Spring 1989
Sadomasochism: Faintul Perversion LESBIAN LIMERICK
or Pleasurable Play? Bill Thompson
Jane rode around on a Harley bike.
iv.
To strangers she looked just like a
Lesbian Ethics, Sarah Lucia
bull dyke.
Hoagland, 1988
But at home in bed,
Unleashing Feminism: Critiquing
To her lover she pled;
Lesbian Sadomasochism in the Gay
Nincties, Irene Reti, 1993 “Get the ribbons. You know what |
The Lesbian leresy, Sheila Jeffreys, like,”
1993 Karen Winter, in Common Lives,
Lesbian Choices, Claudia Card, Lesbian Lives, Summer 1986,
1995
WOMONSPACE NEWS 5
SAFE, SANE &
YOUNG THING
CONSENSUAL byL J. D.
You want me to hurt you
from a telephone interview with Snake
Womonspace News : “How can you 1 think | can
be involved in Bruised |theatre project
on lesbian domestic violence] and yet But not the way you want me
also be an advocate of SM?”
to.
Snake. “It makes sense to me. As
somebody who plays with SM, I’m also
concerned about violence in lesbian QUOTES:
relationships. Safe, sane and
S/M lesbians have been forced into
consensual SM is anything but abusive
a struggle to maintain their
or violent. It is the consensual
membership in the movement, and
exchange of power for the purpose of
defend themselves against slander.
mutual pleasure.
No major spokeswoman for lesbian
In an abusive relationship, one
person is taking power over another S/M has argued for any kind of S/M
without that person’s consent, and supremacy, or advocated that ©
doesn’t have her well-being in mind. everyone should be a
The experience of playing with SM sadomasochist. In addition to self-
makes the difference clear to me. My
defense, S/M lesbians have called for
experience of playing with SM has
appreciation for erotic diversity and
been empowering to me. I’ve been able
more open discussion of sexuality.
to recognize my own power and
passion and give them free and loving Gayle Rubin, in Pleasure and Danger,
expression. Carole S. Vance, ed., 1984
Violence and abuse inhibit
freedom and love and self Everyone was walking around with
expression. As a woman their escorts on leashes, which was
who loves women, I’m OK by me. But being an African-
very concerned about the
American, | have to say that the
abuse within our
sound of whips cracking took me
community. As a woman
someplace | didn’t really want to go.
who loves myself and other
Karen Williams, about the Ms. San
women, I am very
interested in exploring SM.” Francisco Leather Contest, in
Out, Loud, & Laughing,
Charles Flowers, ed., 1995
6 WOMONSPACE NEWS
CALENDAR OF EVENTS Shakespear’s Darts & Rumpus Room.
Pool Tournament every Sunday; register by
2 pm. Always $12/player, incl. coin drop.
Groups and Weekly Events:
Also, ladies-only dances on the first
Saturday of the month. 2nd floor,
GLCCE (Gay and Lesbian Community 10306-112 St. 429-7234.
Centre of Edmonton) is located in the
basement below Boystown Cafe, 10112- Gay & Lesbian Youth Group:
124 Street. It is open Monday to Friday Phone [phone], voice box 10.
from 7-10 pm. Peer support counselling,
lesbian coming out group, drop-in, and PFLAG: Parents, Families, and Friends of
library. 488-3234. Lesbians and Gays support group, c/o
GLCCE, or Lynne 462-5958. Outreach Line
OUTreach social & political student 944-1394 v.b. 3524 (FLAG) 24 hour
group at the University of Alberta campus: recorded message except 7 - 9:30 pm
988-4166. Monday to Friday when calls are
forwarded to a PFLAG volunteer for
Adamant Eve feminist radio program confidential and anonymous support for
gays and lesbians and their parents,
broadcast on CJSR, FM 88.5, at the
families, and friends.
University of Alberta. Thursdays trom
5:30-6 pm.
The Liatris Society of Edmonton
Gaywire lesbian, gay & bisexual radio
is a casual group of queer-positive
show on FM 88.5. Thursdays from 6-7 pm.
greenthumbs who meet for horticultural
Queeries current affairs show on CJSR,
experiences and social interaction. There
FM 88.5, Fridays trom 5:00-5:30 pm.
are no membership fees in 1996, and our
events are open to all. Call 497-7059.
Lambda Christian Community
Welcomes members of the lesbigay Gay & Lesbian Infoline: 988-4018
community; worship 7 pm Sundays,
11148-84 Ave (Garneau United Church). Lesbian Life Line: 425-0511
Phone [phone].
Metropolitan Community Church
Classified Advertising:
Weekly worship, 10086 MacDonald
Drive, Sundays at 7:15 pm. Large, 2 bedroom southside
townhouse to share;
SOLO Social club for lesbians and
431-0685.
bisexual women (over 18) gets together
every Week tor a wide variety of public Wanted: Woman to share
events and social functions. Linda at 447-
spacious, centrally located home.
4776.
Sherry at 479-7493.
WOMONSPACE NEWS 7
Coming Events: Friday, May 10
Poetry Reading
Saskatoon poet Elizabeth Philips and two
Friday, May 3, 17, and 31
others read from their work at Orlando
Sacred Circle Dancing
Books, 10640 Whyte Ave, 7:30 pm.
Starts at 7:30 pm sharp; dance till 9:30 pm.
Monday, May 13
$4 per person, Open to all women.
Womonspace Board Meeting
Westwood Unitarian, 11135-65 Ave.
7:30 pm at Jazzberrys, 9965-82 Ave.
Saturday, May 4
A Dance for Ladies Only Saturday, May 18
Shakespear’s Darts & Rumpus Room, 2nd Womonspace Dance
floor-10306 112 Street. Details: 429-7234. A friendly, fun place for women, but it only
happens once a month! Catering by
Monday, May 6 Jazzberrrys; Petra and Tammy will spin the
Womonspace News Meeting dance music. Bonnie Doon Community
Hall, 9240-93 St, 8 pm-1 am. Dance
The Cook & Gardener Cafe, 10345-106
Street, 7:30 pm. Submissions deadline for volunteers get a break on admission, and
June issue on the topic “Nontraditional volunteering is also a great way to meet
other women; call 425-0511.
Jobs”. New volunteers are always welcome.
Individuals =
Families > ~%
Couples 3’
_ Groups >,
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Elizabeth Massiah
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8 WOMONSPACE NEWS
Sunday, May 19
Womonspace Picnic Dear Editor,
I just wanted to say the Melissa
Join us at Emily Murphy Park, near the : . “a9
playground, at 12:30 pm. Bring your Etheridge concert was outstanding. She’s
picnic basket and your kids. definitely improved since ’88. When she
. ‘ lay her guitar down... hot, hot, hot!
Friday, May 24 There is something I saw that maybe
English Pub Night you can let other fans know. When the
Fundraiser for GLOCE at Alley Cat Brewery, last guitar player walked off the stage (at
6:30 pm. Call 488-3234 for full details. the end of the concert) through my
Saturday, June 1 binoculars I could see her asking for the
A Dance for Ladies Only guitar. She was going to come back for a
Shakespear’s Darts & Rumpus Room, 2nd 3rd encore! And for some er ae
floor-10306 112 Street. 429-7234 other, she didn’t. This girl has stamina.
This proves that she loves what she’s
Monday, June 3 ' doing, and is not just doing it for the
Womonspace News Meeting money.
Cook & Gardener Cafe, 10345-106 LT
Street, 7:30 pm. Submissions deadline for P.S. | love your newsletter!
JJuullyy issue on the toppi c “Bisexuality‘” .
at
“a eer es
Tihink she could‘ve r
wrote “Your LitHe r
Secret” about my last
giclfriend. We had a
Nore-monogamous atrange-
ment, except she never BS St aS
ARRANGED it with met
WOMONSPACE NEWS
WOMEN’S WEAR acceptable, and a little snob appeal is
part of it. The cost for good custom
Permanent Art for Every Body
work can be high, and represents the
By Cathy Wood ability to afford a little luxury. “To have
“You WHAT?!” bellowed my mother a design worked on a full arm can be
as I confided the truth... I had kept her $2500; a back— $5000. A complete
waiting in a steamy cafe on a sweaty body suit can be $30,000 to $50,000,
Calgary day for over an hour. I was next but small designs and body peircing can
door at a salon, not for the haircut that start at a little over $50” Glen says. He
she presumed, but for body piercing. estimates that over 55% of his clientele
“What the HELL did you do THAT are female. “And the women are going
for?” she asked, as | proudly bared my for more discreet, intimate locations; the
tweaked navel. “And that’s just the one | ankle or hip, inside or outside.”
can show you—you’ll never believe Women also cite an improved body
where the other one ts!” I responded, still image as a factor in their choice, along
a little high from the natural rush of with the dramatic increase in some
having surgical steel hoops placed sensations caused by peircings. “Body
through my left nipple and belly button. work really enhances self esteem,” Glen —
The event was my last act of rebellion says. “There’s a little exhibitionist in
before turning thirty, and one of the first everyone who gets a tattoo or a
acts of coming out as a lesbian. Months piercing.”
before, I had seen a beautiful black and “One of the big trends we’re seeing
white photo of two attractive women, now is women using tattoos to enhance
wearing only faded, ripped jeans and and amplify body features, or to draw
discreet tattoos on their upper arms. They the eye away from areas they may not
were both pierced, nipple and navel, and want to call attention to. Half moons
I was hooked. under the breasts, and pieces that
I recently stopped by Raptor Tattoo in accentuate the hips are very popular, as
Edmonton and asked Glen why so many are tattoos combined with piercings,
women are choosing piercing and such as around a pierced navel. Most
tattooing as a means of self-expression. women know exactly what they want,
He reports that women are decorating and where, when they come in,
. their bodies for a wide variety of reasons, For me, the question isn’t if] will get
and in very different ways than men.
another piercing done, or go under the
“People want to cement a part of their needle for a tattoo, I just have to decide
life”, he says, “they want to look at their where. From the amount of traffic
tattoos and say ‘this is where I was at that through Raptor’s waiting room, I won’t
point in my life”.
be the only woman sporting new
Body art has also become more socially
hardware or fresh ink!
10 WOMONSPACE NEWS