Women and Kink: Relationships, Reasons, and Stories PDF
Preview Women and Kink: Relationships, Reasons, and Stories
“For how easy this book is to read, the density of information is surprising. Reading this book is like eating something completely delicious and later realizing that it was half cauliflower. Rehor and Schiffman use such delightful candor and direct language to explain their research that readers might not even notice they are reading a methods section until they are deep into it. With this auspicious beginning, Women and Kink delivers the authors’ original data supported with others’ research in a writing style so smooth that it is lovely to read. Women and Kink covers various aspects of kink from sex, pain, the mind, spirituality, and safety to consent, exhibitionism, role play, fetishes, and money. Together, Rehor and Schiffman explore the ways in which women engage in kink, and a wide range of respondents’ relationship statuses and reasons for participating in kink. Fascinating for academic and popular interest readers, Women and Kink makes a significant contribution to our understandings about what women think about kink, and how they feel about and practice kink over time—all in a refreshingly straightforward read.” Dr. Elisabeth Sheff, author of The Polyamorists Next Door, Stories from the Polycule, When Someone You Love is Polyamorous, and Children in Polyamorous Families “This book contributes to the literature by discussing interesting and groundbreaking research on kink in WOMEN, an understudied population. It provides a window into a world that is often misunderstood and mischaracterized. This is a great read for any therapist by illuminating the experiences and giving voice to the women who engage in kink behaviors.” Rose Hartzell-Cushanick, PhD, EdS, LMFT, AASECT-certified Sex Therapist Supervisor at San Diego Sexual Medicine and Adjunct Professor at San Diego State University, CA, USA “Jennifer! Julia! A heartfelt thanks for making these courageous retellings available for learning, growth and enjoyment. May this groundbreaking work lead the way for people everywhere to speak to their concerns, desires, turn-ons, and ways of life in ways that affirm them and help them make sense of their relationships, their communities and their world. Thank you both for this precious gift of a book.” Mike Giancola, LMFT, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist focusing on sexual health, San Diego, CA, USA Women and Kink Based on original research from nearly 1,600 women from the kink community, this book takes you on a journey into the motivations, meanings, and benefits of kink, in these women’s own words. Women and Kink presents a diverse range of personal and intimate stories about life, love, relationships, kink, sex, self-discovery, growth, resilience, community, and more. The book offers insight into the breadth of the kink community, with chapters discussing different aspects of kink and forms of engagement, both individually and within relationships. Filled throughout with personal vignettes and examples, the authors provide commentary, reflection questions, and thought-provoking considerations to readers who are looking to explore a new area of their life. By exploring personal stories of love, alternative sexualities, and reasons for participating in the “unconventional,” the book supports and empowers each reader to build a relationship and life that best suits their needs. It is also an illuminating resource for sex therapists, counselors, and other mental health professionals interested in developing a kink-affirmative practice. Jennifer Rehor is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, AASECT- Certified Sex Therapist, and Clinical Supervisor. She is the owner and founder of Affirming Therapy Center (ATC) in San Diego, CA, USA. Julia Schiffman is an Associate Clinical Social Worker, Sex Educator, and Community Activist. She specializes in sex therapy, and she works with LGBTQ couples and non-monogamous/polyamorous families in her San Diego, CA, USA private practice. Women and Kink Relationships, Reasons, and Stories JENNIFER REHOR AND JULIA SCHIFFMAN First published 2022 by Routledge 605 Third Avenue, New York, NY 10158 and by Routledge 2 Park Square, Milton Park, Abingdon, Oxon, OX14 4RN Routledge is an imprint of the Taylor & Francis Group, an informa business © 2022 Jennifer Rehor and Julia Schiffman All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reprinted or reproduced or utilised in any form or by any electronic, mechanical, or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publishers. Trademark notice: Product or corporate names may be trademarks or registered trademarks, and are used only for identification and explanation without intent to infringe. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Names: Rehor, Jennifer, author. | Schiffman, Julia, author. Title: Women and kink: relationships, reasons, and stories/Jennifer Rehor and Julia Schiffman. Description: New York, NY: Routledge, 2021. | Includes bibliographical references and index. Identifiers: LCCN 2021002061 (print) | LCCN 2021002062 (ebook) | ISBN 9780367187729 (hardback) | ISBN 9780367187736 (paperback) | ISBN 9780429274640 (ebook) Subjects: LCSH: Paraphilias–Psychological aspects. | Women–Sexual behavior. | Women–Psychology. Classification: LCC HQ71 .R39 2021 (print) | LCC HQ71 (ebook) | DDC 155.3/33–dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021002061 LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021002062 ISBN: 978-0-367-18772-9 (hbk) ISBN: 978-0-367-18773-6 (pbk) ISBN: 978-0-429-27464-0 (ebk) Typeset in Dante and Avenir by Deanta Global Publishing Services, Chennai, India In Memory of John “Roadkill” McConnell Of all the friendship, passion, respect, and wisdom you shared with us over the years, two ideas burn most brightly: “Stay true to who you are,” a lifelong journey as we all continue to grow and learn, and “You must find the beauty in the world,” a sentiment we too-easily forget but have taken to heart. We know you would have found beauty in these stories of women finding who they are, and we will be forever sad that we lost the chance to have long conversations about the ideas that sprang from them. Your beautiful soul is missed. Contents Authors xii Acknowledgments xv 1 Introduction 1 The Research 2 Background 2 Methods 5 Results 6 Comments about Aspects of and Engagement with Kink 9 Comments about Relationship Status 10 Comments about Reasons for Participating 10 Comments about Stories 11 Discussion 11 Definitions 11 Points of Interest 12 Notes 13 2 Aspects of Kink 14 Kink and Sex 15 Kink and Pain 21 Kink and the Mind 24 Kink and Spirituality 27 Kink and Community 28
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