Wild connection : what animal courtship and mating tell us about human relationships

217 Pages·2014·1.76 MB·English

by  Verdolin

Published 2014 by Prometheus Books Wild Connection: What Animal Courtship and Mating Tell Us about
Human Relationships. Copyright © 2014 by Jennifer L. Verdolin. All rights reserved. No part of this
publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means,
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Cover design by Nicole Sommer-Lecht
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The Library of Congress has cataloged the printed edition as follows: Verdolin, Jennifer L.
Wild connection : what animal courtship and mating tell us about human relationships / by Jennifer L.
Verdolin.
pages cm
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-1-61614-946-8 (pbk.) ISBN 978-1-61614-947-5 (ebook) 1. Sexual behavior in animals. 2.
Sex. 3. Psychology, Comparative. I. Title.
QL761.V466 2014
591.56’2—dc23
2014001948
Printed in the United States of America
Dedicated to Grub (1991–2011). It was an honor
and privilege to know you. You are missed.
Grub, Center for Great Apes, Wauchula, Florida,
http://www.centerforgreatapes.org.
CONTENTS
Author’s Note
CHAPTER 1. THE BIRDS AND THE BEES
CHAPTER 2. FIRST IMPRESSIONS
Who Cares What I Look Like?
Pickin’ a Good One—A Mate, That Is
What Body Parts Are the Most Revealing?
Noses, Teeth, Hair, Feet, Oh My!
The Chemical World: Does He Pass the Sniff Test?
Smart Women Are Sexy . . . Right?
First Impressions Last
CHAPTER 3. FALSE ADVERTISING
Looks Can Be Deceiving
Antlers Don’t Lie
Tails and Tits
Primping, Preening, and Rock Stars
CHAPTER 4. SORRY GUYS—SIZE MATTERS
Big Benefits
Are You Lookin’ at Me?
Can I Offer Some Protection, Ma’am?
Just Say It: Penis Size
Silent Competition: Sperm Warfare
Did Napoleon Have a Complex?
Brains versus Brawn
Being a Lover, Not a Fighter
CHAPTER 5. ON BEING A CHOOSY FEMALE
Being Choosy and Eyeing Up the Males
Copycat! Copycat!
Female Competition: From Copycats to Cat Fight
Movin’ on Up
Girls Just Wanna Have . . . a Little Variety, Please
Boy Toy, Anyone? The Allure of the Younger Male
Tick-Tock: Is There Really a Clock?
When Things Go Terribly Wrong: The Maladapted Female
CHAPTER 6. PEACOCKS, LIONS, AND MEN
The Cost of Being Male
Getting the Girl of Your Dreams— Can I Buy Your Love?
Alpha, Beta, Gamma—It’s Not Easy Being on Top
Harassment and Coercion—A Biological Look
You’re Mine . . . All Mine
Just Put a Cork in It!
The Hard Facts about Sperm
The Choosy Bachelor
When Things Go Terribly Wrong: The Maladapted Male
CHAPTER 7. ARE WE MATING OR DATING?
Benefits of a One-Nighter
Does It Pay to Play?
Dating as Information Gathering and Jumping Hurdles
SEX—Everything You Wanted to Know about Bonobos
CHAPTER 8. THE THREE CS: COMMUNICATION, COOPERATION,
AND COMPROMISE
You Just Don’t Understand!
Did You Hear What I Just Said?
Lighten Up, I Was Only Joking!
Let’s Work Together— “Paddle on the Left, You Idiot!”
Cooperation and the Slippery Test of Time
The Art of Compromise
CHAPTER 9. GETTING CUCKOLDED
Till Death Do Us Part
Your Cheating Heart
How to Lose Your Lover
I Think I Want a Divorce
Till Death Do Us Part Revisited
CHAPTER 10. IN A NUTSHELL
Acknowledgments
Notes
References
Index
AUTHOR’S NOTE
I hope that you enjoy your journey through this book. In the notes section you
will be able to find all the references you’ll need if you want more information
about the studies used throughout the book. Additionally, you may visit my
Facebook page, “What’s Your Wild Connection?” at
http://www.facebook.com/whatsyourwildconnection, where you can ask me
questions about the animals or any of the topics discussed. You will also be able
to find photos of the many different animals presented here. Lastly, I have
dedicated this book to Grub, who was one of the most remarkable individuals I
have had the honor of knowing. His death in 2011 left a hole in the hearts of all
who were touched by his wisdom, kindness, and enthusiasm for life. I got my
start working with animals at the Center for Great Apes, a sanctuary that
provides a safe resting place for chimpanzees and orangutans in need of rescue
and long-term care. Consequently, I have pledged 10 percent of the proceeds I
receive from the sale of this book to the Center for Great Apes in memory of
Grub. The sanctuary is always in need of donations, whether money or supplies.
You can visit its website at http://www.centerforgreatapes.org to learn more
about all the other special individuals being provided for.
1
THE BIRDS AND THE BEES
It wasn’t until I was about eleven years old that I became acutely aware that
there was a difference between boys and girls. Mind you, this was not a
difference that I perceived, but rather, one that I was told existed. It all happened
when I wanted to play little-league football. For as long as I could remember—
which when you are eleven seems like an eternity—I had played neighborhood
tag football. You know, the kind where you draw the plays in the sand on the
edge of the road, on the grass, or even on the back of your teammate’s T-shirt.
Anyway, I was told, unequivocally and without exception, that because I was
a girl I was not permitted to play official little-league football. Only boys could
play. This didn’t make sense to me, especially since I had spent at least two years
honing my football skills in the street.
I think the boys in the neighborhood got the same message, because
suddenly they didn’t want me to play with them anymore. The older I got, the
more I noticed this pattern, and I remained perplexed. While all my girlfriends
had visions of princes and castles, I had dreams of being a wide receiver in the
NFL, despite the rules that clearly prevented me from participating.
The divergence didn’t stop with sports. Soon after, I received a Barbie house
for Christmas while my brother received the coveted erector set. Oh, how I was
jealous of his erector set! Then, as I got older, the girls around me began
thinking about what clothes to wear, which bag went with which outfit, and how
to get the attention of that cute boy while I was trying to figure out how to climb
that tree in the backyard, which mouse to play with, and how on earth I went
from having two guinea pigs to six.
Into my twenties, the opposite sex remained a puzzle that I couldn’t quite
figure out. I knew I was attracted to men but, for the most part, I felt like (and
wanted to be treated like) I was just one of the guys. As time went on, I became
quite curious about this “other” sex, and I began to wonder if males were really
so different from females. If they were, how did those differences influence how
we interacted with each other? And why did it all seem so difficult?
Given my early adoration for and fascination with animals, my challenges in
the dating world, and my questioning nature, it was only a matter of time before
I found myself studying animal behavior and mating systems.
I will never forget the day in graduate school, while coteaching an
undergraduate biology class, when we showed a movie to the students detailing
why sex exists. I must confess that I had never pondered this particular question.
I simply took for granted that we are a sexually reproducing species, and never
gave it another thought.
Much to my surprise, I discovered that the evolution of sex is mysterious and
the subject of much discussion among scientists. Whoa! Why hadn’t this been
part of my sex-education class? Like many of you, my sex-education class had
diagrams of the human reproductive tract and details on why not to have sex.
Who can forget those pictures? But why do we have sex? After all, not every
organism reproduces sexually.
The asexual approach seems to be working well for the whiptail lizards. As
many as fifty species of whiptail lizards reproduce without having sex. The
appropriately named New Mexican whiptail is the official state reptile of New
Mexico. I wonder if officials in New Mexico knew that the lizards never have
sex before they adopted the species to represent their state.
Anyway, these little lizards can make their homes in dry riverbeds or vacant
lots, eating everything from crickets to scorpions. When you reproduce by
making clones of yourself, males are not required, so naturally all adult New
Mexican whiptails are female. The strange part is that sometimes females do
engage in “fake” sex. I know, you probably thought the strange part was that
females could produce baby lizards without a male. Maybe it’s just me, but I
happen to think simulated sex between asexually reproducing female lizards is a
tad weirder.
This fake sex pretty much follows the rules of regular lizard sex, which
makes it all the more interesting. I mean, how do these females know what to
do? It usually begins with one female chasing another female around, nipping at
her heels. Then the female being chased assumes the donut position common to
mating lizards, where curled up like a donut, she signals that she is ready. With
one female pinned down by another, the one on top uses her tail to “have sex”
with the other one. They reportedly thrash about, eyes closed and panting. Until
now, I did not know that lizards panted. Why do some females do this?
Apparently, the ones that engage in simulated copulation are stimulated into
laying more eggs.1
Insects and other lizards, some snakes, and even a fish, the Amazon Molly,
join whiptails in the pursuit of a sexless life. Okay, maybe whiptails are sexing it
up just a little bit. Nevertheless, given that at least some species do not ever