What's good about anger? : an anger management course with application devotionals

94 Pages·2002·0.56 MB·English

by  Lynette J Hoy

What’s Good
About Anger?

An Anger Management Course with
Application Devotionals

by Lynette J. Hoy, NCC, LCPC
National Certified Counselor, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor
and Ted Griffin, Editor/writer

A CounselCare Connection Publication
Oak Brook, Illinois
© 2002
www.counselcareconnection.org
What's Good About Anger?
An Anger Management Course with Application Devotionals
Copyright © 2002 by Lynette J. Hoy, NCC, LCPC and Ted Griffin, Editor/writer
Requests for information should be addressed to:
CounselCare Connection
2000 Spring Rd. Suite 603
Oak Brook, IL 60523
First Printing, 2002
Second Printing 2010
ISBN 0-9717599-0-1
Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from The Holy
Bible: New International Version. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by the
International Bible Society.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any
form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying,
recording, or any information storage and retrieval system--except for brief
quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the
publisher/authors.
CounselCare Connection Publication
Oak Brook, Illinois
Printed in the United States of America.
Book Design: B.A.S.S
Contents
Foreword by Ray Pritchard
Introduction and Instructions
Group Guidelines
1: Anger Survey
2: Anger’s Many Faces
3: The Power of Anger
4: When Anger Is Good
5: The Role of Faith
6: Handling Anger Biblically
7: Turn Your Anger into Forgiveness and Grace
8: When to Take a Time-Out
9: Cognitive Distortions
10: Log Your Thinking
11: Plan to Change Your Life by Changing Your Thinking and Trusting God
12: Summary
Application Devotionals for Anger Management
Day One
Day Two
Day Three
Day Four
Day Five
Day Six
Day Seven
Day Eight
Day Nine
Day Ten
Day Eleven
Day Twelve
Bibliography
FOREWORD
by Ray Pritchard
Just now I finished reading What’s Good About Anger? and my first
thought was, “I wish I had read this a long time ago.” It is so chockfull of
biblical truth, wise counsel, and old-fashioned common sense that I believe it
will be a great help to anyone who puts into practice the truth it teaches.
Many years ago, during a pastorate in California, I decided to preach a
sermon series called “The Marriage Clinic.” In order to involve the
congregation, I devised a list of about 20 possible topics and asked people to
vote for the ones they most wanted to hear. The plan was so successful that I
decided to repeat it the next year with a different series called “The Family
Clinic.” When I offered my list of potential topics to the congregation, only one
was repeated from the year before. To my surprise that topic received the most
votes two years in a row. The winner: “How to Handle Anger and Bitterness.”
In the years since then, I have discovered that I should not have been
surprised at all. Lots of church members, some of them very faithful and very
devout, harbor hidden reservoirs of anger and bitterness. Sometimes the anger
lies just below the surface, popping up in the form of a sharp tongue and a
critical, unhappy spirit. Other times it shows itself in a tendency to resort to
physical violence. More often the anger lies deeper, hidden even to the person,
like a snake coiled in the grass, waiting to strike when the time is right. This
explains why some people who appear to be sunny, cheerful types can under
certain types of pressure explode in a rage that can be dangerous and sometimes
deadly.
As Lynette Hoy and Ted Griffin make clear, anger is one of our most
powerful emotions. Left unchecked, it can destroy us in every way we can be
destroyed. It festers within, choking out our joy, clouding our perspective,
corroding our thinking, and rendering us unable to have healthy relationships.
So many marriages suffer because of anger that is not handled properly. And so
many children have been hurt because a parent reacted wrongly under pressure.
This much we already know. But this book leads us beyond the problem to
a truly biblical solution. You may be surprised to know that anger itself is not
evil or wrong. We all get angry from time to time. It’s how we respond to our
anger, what we do about it, and how we express it that makes all the difference.
Healthy anger actually promotes spiritual growth and positive relationships. If
that thought surprises you, get ready for even more surprises as you read this
book.
I am very grateful to Lynette and Ted for making this material available. I
needed to read it myself. I think you’ll feel the same way when you are finished.
Here is a book filled with truth that can set you free. Read it, digest it, and then
put it to work in your own life.
Dr. Ray Pritchard, President
Keep Believing Ministries
www.keepbelieving.com
INTRODUCTION
AND INSTRUCTIONS
by Lynette J. Hoy, NCC, LCPC
Welcome to the What’s Good About Anger? course.
It’s hard to believe that there is anything good about anger, isn’t it? As you
read this book, I am hoping that you will discover, though, that you can let God
control your anger and use your anger for His purposes. That is what is good
about anger! Since God is good and God gets angry, then, as His child and with
His power, you can learn how to be good and angry.
This course is not only a book on anger management--it emphasizes the
source of anger, triggers that provoke anger, scriptural examples of how to
express anger in a godly manner, and how to turn anger into faith, problem
solving, assertiveness, and forgiveness.
What’s Good About Anger? is meant to assist people with differing
experiences and in all walks of life. People with “hidden” anger who might be
feeling depressed. People with explosive anger. Even people who don’t believe
they have ever felt angry.
So take your time reading through this book and completing the questions
and activities. I hope you will come to realize that anger can be a healthy
emotion to motivate you to change, and better yet, that God can transform you
and use your anger for His glory.
Instructions for Use of the What’s Good About Anger? Course
1. Complete the Anger Survey. This will help you to assess when, where,
and how you get angry and your general provocation scenario (GPS).
Be honest about your feelings and experience with anger. After all, this
course-work is personal and geared to help you get an understanding
of how you can grow in tackling any problem you may be having with
anger in your life and in your relationships.
2. Then read through the book, completing the questions as you progress.
Additional information is given on how to apply your general
provocation scenario (found in the Anger Survey) to the section in the
course on Handling Anger Biblically. Be in prayer as you work
through this, asking God to speak to you.
3. Keep an anger log throughout the time you are reading this book. Each
day think about and try one or two of the suggestions for handling
anger. Especially apply the steps in Handling Anger Biblically to each
situation. Make certain you make a habit of prayer, asking the Lord to
change you. Write out your basic concerns, your options and requests.
4. Read When to Take a Time-Out in order to make a plan for the
situations that come up that cause your anger to escalate more quickly
and make you feel like you are losing control. If you still find your
anger escalating, then lengthen your time-out period (Example: one
hour instead of 30 minutes).
5. Evaluate your thinking with the cognitive distortions questions and log
your thinking patterns. This exercise will help you identify any false
perspective you have about people or situations and challenge whether
it is correct.
6. Finally complete the “Plan to Change Your Life By Changing Your
Thinking and Trusting God” and read the application devotionals.
Additional aspects of this course will encourage you to apply forgiveness,
assertiveness, problem-solving and biblical principles to your life in order to
learn to manage your anger in a godly way.
GROUP GUIDELINES
Individual preparation: Spend time reading each chapter prior to each
meeting and answering the questions. Complete any assignments.
Group rules for participation:
1. Keep whatever is said in the group confidential.
2. Use "I" messages vs. "you" messages.
3. Don't give advice unless it is requested.
4. You don't have to talk if you prefer not to.
5. Avoid covering your pain with humor.
Leader guidelines:
1. Ask the participants to agree to keep confidential what is discussed in
the group. This will make the group a safe place for sharing and
accountability.
2. Promote participation by drawing out quieter people and setting
boundaries with those who tend to monopolize.
3. Open the first session by reading the foreword, introduction and
guidelines. Ask people to share what brought them to the group and
what they hope to learn. Direct participants to complete the Anger
Survey if there is time.
4. Begin subsequent sessions with a review of the previous week's
material. Summarize or read the chapter you are covering and lead a
discussion of the questions. Share your own situations and feelings to
provide a role model for group members.
5. Explore how to apply the coping skills, Scriptures, principles and new
concepts to specific situations people share. Ask: How can you
personally apply this Scripture or concept to one of your
situations/triggers this week?
6. Conclude each session by reading an application devotional,
discussing the questions provided. Then review any upcoming
assignments and close in prayer.
7. As a group facilitator be aware of the responsibility to report to
authorities/family any revelation that someone makes to harm
themselves or others. Encourage that person to get professional