What Makes Narcissists Tick

506 Pages·2007·4.2 MB·English

by  Kathleen Krajco

Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder
What Makes Narcissists Tick
© 2004 – 2007, Kathleen Krajco — all rights reserved worldwide.
The material in this book is the property of its author and publisher, Kathleen S. Krajco. It is protected by
international copyright laws and treaty provisions. You must treat it as you should any other copyrighted material,
such as a paper book, except that you have the owner's permission to print one copy for your own personal use.
Otherwise no part may be reproduced, transmitted, transcribed, stored in a retrieval system, or translated into any
language in any form by any means without the express written permission of Kathleen S. Krajco. Contact her by
email to [email protected].
Published by www.OperationDoubles.com
Version 3.0 released: January 2007 in the U.S.A.
Kathy Krajco is not a healthcare professional, and this
publication is not intended as professional advice of any sort.
About this book
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What Makes
Narcissists
Tick
Understanding
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
by
Kathy Krajco
www.OperationDoubles.com

When the Truth seems like a lie
We should keep our mouths as shut as possible
To avoid innocently incuring the name of a liar.

But here I cannot.
—Dante, Inferno, Canto XVI

Contents VII
Contents
PREFACE XIII
Part I The Essence of Narcissism 16
1 Na..r..c..i.s..s..u..s.. ................................................................................................. 18
2 Ar..r.e..s..t.e..d.. .C...h..i.l.d.. .D...e..v..e..l.o..p..m...e..n...t. .................................................................. 21
3 It'.s.. .A..l.l. .A...b..o..u..t.. .A..t.t..e..n..t.i.o..n.. ............................................................................ 23
4 A .H...o..u..s..e.. .o..f.. .M...i.r.r.o..r..s.. .................................................................................. 28
5 Th..e.. .D...a..r.k..n..e..s..s.. .W....i.t.h..i.n.. ............................................................................... 32
6 Ke..e..p...i.n..g.. .U..p... .A..p..p...e..a..r.a..n..c..e..s.. ....................................................................... 35
Part II The Danger of Narcissism 40
1 Pr..e..d..a..t.i.o..n.. .................................................................................................. 40
2 M.a..n..i.p..u..l.a..t.i.o...n.. ............................................................................................ 41
3 Pr..o..t.e..c..t.i.n..g.. .O...u..r..s..e..l.v..e..s.. .............................................................................. 44
Meting... .O..u..t.. .T..r.u..s..t.. .................................................................................................. 48
Narcis..s..i.s..m... .i.n.. .H..i.g...h.. .P..l.a..c..e..s.. ................................................................................... 50
Part III What is NPD? 56
1 Cl.a..s..s..i.f.i.c..a..t..i.o..n.. .&... .D..i.a..g...n..o..s..i.s.. ..................................................................... 58
Exam.p..l.e..s.. .o..f. .M...e..n..t.a..l. .D..i.s..o..r..d..e..r.s.. ............................................................................. 61
Legal .C...l.a..s..s..i.f.i.c..a..t.i.o..n.. .............................................................................................. 62
Perso.n..a..l.i.t.y.. .D...i.s.o...r.d..e..r.s.. ........................................................................................... 63
2 Ch...a..r.a..c..t.e..r.i.s..t..i.c..s.. .o..f. .N...P..D... ........................................................................... 64
Digno.s..t.i.c.. .C...r.i.t.e..r..ia.. .................................................................................................. 70
Are N.P..D.. .a..n..d... .P..s..y..c..h..o..p..a..t.h..y.. .t.h...e. .S...a..m...e..?.. ................................................................ 72
The D.i.s..s..i.m...u..l.a..t.i.o..n... .F..a..c..t.o..r. ..................................................................................... 78
C.a..s..e.. .S..t.u..d..y.. .in.. .D...is..s..i.m...u..la..t.i.o..n............................................................................... 81
© 2004 – 2007, Kathleen Krajco — all rights reserved worldwide. OperationDoubles.com
VIII What Makes Narcissists Tick
3 Re..d... .F..l.a..g..s.. .o..f. .N...a..r.c..i.s..s..i.s..m... ......................................................................... 87
Show.s.. .O..f.f.. .G..o...o..d..n..e..s..s.. .a..n..d.. .K...i.n..d..n..e..s..s.. ................................................................... 88
Vanda..l.i.z.e..s.. .O...t.h..e..r..s..' .I.m...a..g...e..s. ................................................................................... 88
Histor.y.. .o..f.. .P..a..s..t. .U..p...h..e..a..v.a..l.s.. .................................................................................... 91
Hated. .f.o..r.. .M...y.s..t..e..r.i.o..u..s.. .R...e..a..s.o...n..s.. .b..y.. .P..e..o..p..l.e.. .C...l.o..s..e.. .t.o.. .T..h..e..m... .................................. 91
Perple..x..i.n..g.. .B...e..h..a..v..i.o..r. .-. .B...a..c..k..w..a..r..d.. .R..e..a..c..t.i.o..n...s.. .t.o.. .T..h..i.n..g..s.. ....................................... 92
Tramp..l.e..s.. .P..r.i.v..a..c..y../.B...o..u..n..d..a..r..i.e.s.. .a..s.. .a.. .C...o..n..t.r.o...l.-.F..r.e..a..k.. .............................................. 94
Extrem...e.. .S..e..l.f.-..A..b..s..o..r..p..t.i.o..n.. ...................................................................................... 95
Hostil.e.. .R..e..a..c..t.i.o...n.. .t.o.. .A...t.t.e..n..t.i.o..n.. .o..r.. .C..r..e..d..i.t. .G...i.v..e..n.. .O..t..h..e..r.s.. ........................................ 97
4 Se..r..i.o..u..s..n..e..s..s.. .o..f. .N...P..D... ................................................................................ 97
5 P..r..e..v..a..l.e.n...c..e.. .o..f. .N...P..D.. ................................................................................. 103
A Fa.l.s..e.. .P..i.c..t.u..r.e.. .................................................................................................... 106
6 N..P...D.. .-.. .A.. .M...a..l.e.. .D...i.s..e..a..s..e..?.. .A..n.. .A...d..u..l.t.. .D..i.s..e..a..s..e..?.. ......................................... 110
Part IV Nature or Nurture? 118
1 I.s.. .N..P...D.. .G...e..n..e..t.i.c..a..l.l.y.. .I.n..h...e..r.i.t.e..d..?... .............................................................. 118
2 I.s.. .I.t. .C..a..u...s..e..d.. .b..y.. .C...h..e..m...i.c..a..l. .I.m...b..a..l.a..n..c..e..?.. .................................................. 118
3 P..s..y..c..h..o..l.o...g..i.c..a..l. .C..a..u...s..e..s.. .......................................................................... 120
Part V Meet the Narcissist: A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing 126
1 T..h..e.. .N...a..r.c..i.s..s..i.s..t.'.s.. .S...t.y..l.e.. ........................................................................... 126
2 T..h..e.. .G...o..d.. .C...o..m...p...l.e..x.. ................................................................................. 130
3 A..t..t.e..n..i.o..n..:. .I. .G...o..t..t.a.. .H..a..v..e.. .I.t. .A...l.l. .................................................................. 132
Getti.n..g.. .I.t.. .A..l.l. ........................................................................................................ 135
Deny..i.n..g.. .A..n...y.. ....................................................................................................... 140
4 Y..o..u... .A..r.e.. .a..n... .O..b...j.e..c..t. ................................................................................. 144
5 P..a..s..s..i.n..g.. ..f.o..r. .N...o..r.m....a..l. ............................................................................... 147
6 I.n.. .t.h..e.. .L...o..o..k..i.n..g.. .G...l.a..s..s.. ............................................................................. 149
7 A.. .W....o..r.k.. .o..f.. .A..r..t. ......................................................................................... 152
8 T..h..e.. .S...e..l.f. .A..b...s..o..r.b..e..d.. ................................................................................. 155
Tuni.n..g.. .Y..o..u... .O...u..t. .................................................................................................. 157
To b.e..,. .o..r. .n..o..t.. .t.o.. .b..e........ ........................................................................................... 159
Mirro..r.s.. ................................................................................................................. 160
Mirro..r.i.n..g... ............................................................................................................. 164
The D...o..t.i.n..g... .N..a..r.c..i.s..s..i.s..t. ......................................................................................... 167
9 N..a..r..c..i.s..s..i.s..t.s.. .A..r..e.. .f.r.o...m... .P..l.u..t.o... ................................................................... 168
Alien.. .M...e..n..t.a..l.i.t.y.. .................................................................................................... 171
OperationDoubles.com © 2004 – 2007, Kathleen Krajco — all rights reserved worldwide.
Contents IX
10 I. .A..m... .a.. .M...a..c..h..i.n...e.. ...................................................................................... 173
11 W...h..o...?.. .M...e..?.. .R...e..s..p..o..n..s..i.b..i.l.i.t.y..?... .W...h..a..t. .R...e..s..p..o..n...s..ib...i.l.i.t.y..?.. ............................. 177
12 L..e..e.. .H...a..r.v..e..y.. .O...s..w..a..l.d... ............................................................................... 179
13 T..h..e.. .B...e..s..t. .T..e..a..c..h..e..r.. .i.n.. .t.h..e.. .S...c..h..o..o..l. ........................................................... 190
14 H..o...w.. .t..o.. .M...a..k..e.. .a.. .N..a..r..c..i.s..s..i.s..t. ..................................................................... 192
Part VI Faces of Narcissism 200
1 T..h..e.. .M...a..n..i.p...u..l.a..t.o..r. ..................................................................................... 202
2 T..h..e.. .P...r.e..d..a..t.o...r. .......................................................................................... 207
The .T..r.a..n..s..f.i.g...u..r.a..t.i.o..n.. ............................................................................................ 208
Mask.. .S..w...i.t.c..h..i.n..g... .................................................................................................. 211
Stalk..i.n..g.. .M...o..d..e.. ..................................................................................................... 214
Narc. .A..t.t..a.c..k..s.. ........................................................................................................ 215
R...u..l.e..s. .o..f. .E..n..g..a..g..e..m...e..n..t...................................................................................... 220
3 T..h..e.. .A...b..u..s..e..r. ............................................................................................. 225
Let's. .P...la..y.. .P...r.e..t.e..n..d.. ............................................................................................... 228
Ment.a..l. .C...r.u..e..l.t.y.. ..................................................................................................... 230
4 T..h..e.. .S...l.a..n..d..e..r.e..r.. ........................................................................................ 235
Wha.t. .M..a..k..e..s.. .N...a..r.c..i.s..s..i.s..t.s.. .D..i.f.f..e.r..e..n..t. ...................................................................... 237
Thos..e. .a.. .N...a..r.c..i.s..s..i.s..t. .S..p...e.a..k..s.. .W....e..l.l .O...f. .................................................................... 240
The U...n..b..l.e..m...i.s..h..e..d.. ..V..i.c..t.i.m... .................................................................................... 243
Char.a..c..t.e..r.. A...s..s..a..s..s.i.n...a..t.i.o..n.. .................................................................................... 245
Brea.k..i.n..g.. .t.h..e.. .S...i.l.e..n..c..e.. .......................................................................................... 246
5 T..h..e.. .P...a..t.h..o..l.o..g...i.c.a..l. ..L..i.a..r. ............................................................................ 248
Why. N...a..r.c..i.s..s..i.s..t.s.. .L..i.e.. .L..i.k..e.. .C...r.a..z..y.. ......................................................................... 250
Cram..m...i.n..g.. ..I.t. .D..o..w...n.. .Y...o..u..r. .T..h...r.o..a..t. ......................................................................... 253
Delu.s..i.o..n.. .............................................................................................................. 256
Cons..e..q..u..e..n..c..e..s.. .o..f. .P...a..t.h..o..l.o..g..i.c..a..l. .L..y..i.n...g.. ............................................................... 256
6 T..h..e.. .C...o..n.. .A...r.t.i.s..t. ........................................................................................ 262
Esse.n..c..e.. .o..f.. .C..o..n.. .A...r.t.i.s..t.r..y.. ..................................................................................... 263
Bank.. .E..x..a..m...i.n..e..r. .C...o..n.. ............................................................................................ 265
How. .t.o.. .K..e..e..p.. .C...o..n.. .A...r.t.i.s..t.s.. .O...u..t. .o...f. .R..e..l.a..t.i.o..n...s.h...i.p..s.. ................................................ 268
7 T..h..e.. .B...u..l.l.y.. ................................................................................................ 269
8 T..h..e.. .B...r.o..t.h...e..r. .o..r.. .S..i.s..t.e..r.. .f.r.o..m... ..H..e..l.l. ............................................................ 274
9 O...t.h..e..r. .P...r.e..d..a..t.o...r.s.. ..................................................................................... 275
Part VII What's in There 278
1 W...h..a..t.. .N..a..r.c..i.s..s..i.s..t..s.. .S..a..y.. ............................................................................ 283
© 2004 – 2007, Kathleen Krajco — all rights reserved worldwide. OperationDoubles.com
X What Makes Narcissists Tick
2 D..o... .T..h..e..y.. .H...a..v..e. ..F..e..e..l.i.n..g..s..?.. ....................................................................... 285
3 A..r..e.. .T..h..e..y.. .t.o.. .B...l.a..m...e..?.. ............................................................................... 287
Part VIII The Narcissist's Strategy 292
1 G...r.a..n..d..i.o..s..i.t..y.. .V..e..i.l.e..d.. ................................................................................. 293
2 T..h..e.. .A...r.t. .o...f. .L..y..i.n..g.. ..................................................................................... 296
3 P..r..o..j.e..c..t.i.o..n.. ............................................................................................... 300
The P...r.o..j.e..c..t.i.o..n... .M...a..c..h..i.n..e.. ..................................................................................... 306
Proje..c..t.i.v..e.. .I.d..e..n..t.i.f..i.c.a..t..i.o..n.. ..................................................................................... 312
4 C..o...n..t.r.o..l. ..b..y.. .T..e..m...p..e..r.. .T..a..n..t.r..u..m... ................................................................. 316
Forc.i.n..g.. .S..u...b..m...i.s..s..i.o..n.. .t.o.. .A...b..u..s..e.. ........................................................................... 320
Actin..g.. .L..i.k..e.. .I.t. .D...i.d..n..'.t. .H...a..p..p..e..n.. .............................................................................. 324
5 S..h..o...c..k.. .T..a..c..t.i.c..s.. ........................................................................................ 326
Outr.a..g..e.. ............................................................................................................... 330
6 T..h..e.. .P...e..r.f.e..c..t. .C...r.i.m...e.. .................................................................................. 332
7 G...e..t.t.i.n..g.. .A...w...a..y.. .W...i.t.h.. .I.t. .............................................................................. 334
8 W...i.t.h...o..l.d..i.n..g.. .............................................................................................. 336
9 S..o..,. .h...o..w... .d..o.. .I. .w...i.n.. .t.h..i.s.. .g..a..m....e..?.. ................................................................ 337
Part IX The Teeter Totter Game 340
1 T..h..e.. .R...u..l.e..s.. ............................................................................................... 342
2 P..h..y..s..i.c..a..l. .B...u..l.l.y..i.n..g.. ................................................................................... 345
3 R..e..f..u..s..e.. .t.o.. .A...c..k..n..o..w...l.e..d..g..e.. .Y...o..u..r. .P...r.e..s..e..n..c..e.. .............................................. 347
4 D..e..n...i.g..r.a..t.e.. .O...t.h..e..r..s.. ................................................................................... 349
5 D..e..v..a..l.u..i.n...g.. .C..o...n..t.r.i.b...u..t.i.o..n..s.. ....................................................................... 352
6 D..e..v..a..l.u..i.n...g.. .H..e..l.p... ...................................................................................... 353
7 B..e..l.i.t..t.l.i.n..g.. .A...b..i.l.i.t.y.. .&.. .A...c..h..i.e..v..e..m...e..n..t.. .......................................................... 358
8 R..e..f..u..s..i.n..g.. .t.o... .A..c..k..n..o..w...l.e..d..g...e.. .R..i.g..h...t.s.. ........................................................ 359
Part X The Rat Game 362
1 T..h..e.. .T...r.e..a..t. ................................................................................................ 362
2 W...h..y.. .t..h..e.. .R..a..t.s.. .K...e..e..p.. .T..r..y..i.n..g.. .................................................................... 365
Part XI Controlling the Pathological Space 368
1 R..e..i.g...n.. .o..f. .T..e..r..r.o..r.. ...................................................................................... 371
OperationDoubles.com © 2004 – 2007, Kathleen Krajco — all rights reserved worldwide.