What Husbands Wish Their Wives Knew About Men

229 Pages·2008·0.57 MB·English

Husbands say, “I wish you could write a book to help my
wife understand how I'm wired.”

Wives often tell us they wonder, “Who is this man I am married
to?” You may have been married for one year, five years,
twenty-five years, or more, and still not have a satisfying answer
to this question! And not because
there’s anything wrong with your husband . . . or you.
It’s just that men and women often “do” life from such different
perspectives.

In this book I will take you inside the locker room to help
you understand your husband from his point of view—to
know who this man is that you married.

Through the generosity of our donors, and strategic partners, we
are able to make this book available to you. My prayer is that this
book will help you understand the one you married, and
strengthen your marriage by drawing you closer to the One who
made you both.

Sincerely,

Pat Morley
Founder & CEO
Man in the Mirror,
a non-profit corporation helping men (&
their wives) know Jesus
Books by Patrick M. Morley
Coming Back to God
Devotions for Couples
Devotions for the Man in the Mirror
Discipleship for the Man in the Mirror The
Man in the Mirror
Second Half for the Man in the Mirror Seven
Seasons of the Man in the Mirror Ten Secrets
for the Man in the Mirror What Husbands
Wish Their Wives Knew About Men The
Young Man in the Mirror
What Husbands Wish Their Wives Knew About Men

Ans wers t o t h e Q u e s t i o n s Wo m e n
As k a b o u t T h e i r H u s b a n d s f ro m
t h e Au t h o r o f T h e M a n i n t h e M i r r o r
P a t r i c k M o r l e y
What Husbands Wish Their Wives Knew About Men
Formerly titled What Husbands Wish Their Wives Knew About Men Copyright ©
1998 by Patrick M. Morley

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy
Bible: New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by
International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights
reserved.
Scripture quotations marked NKJV are from The New King James Bible Version.
Copyright © 1979, 1980, 1982, Thomas Nelson, Inc.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a
retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means —electronic,
mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other — except for brief quotations
in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the author.
Printed in the United States of America
Marriage is a learned thing.
Some learn it well.
Others don’t.
Thanks to my parents, Bob
and Alleen Morley, and my
wife’s parents,
Ed and June Cole,
I learned by observation how to truly
love and respect my wife, Patsy.
Thank you.
For this and countless other reasons
I dedicate this book to you.
_
Contents _

Introduction 9
Part One
1.Childhood — “What I Know I Learned from
My Dad” 15
2.Significance —What Is It That Your Husband
Wants? 35
3.Obstacles —What’s Troubling Your Husband? 51
4.Pressure —Understanding the Pressure Your
Husband Feels 69
5.Work —Why Men Are Preoccupied with Work 87
6.Temptations —The Six Persistent Temptations Men
Struggle With 99
Part Two
7.Companionship —What a Husband Needs from
His Wife 121
8.Physical Intimacy —What Else a Man Needs from
His Wife 135
9.Communication —What Men Want to Express but
Find Difficult 143
10.Resolving Conflict —Help Around the House
and Other Sore Spots 161
11.Appearance —Why a Man Wants His Wife to
Look Good 175
12.Fathering —Your Husband’s Changing View of
Being a Dad 185
Part Three
13.Hard Years —Living with a Difficult Husband 203
14.Perspective —Why Your Husband May Not Be
As Bad As You Think 215
15.Golden Years —Preparing for Winter 223
Afterword 234
Acknowledgments 236
About the Author 237
Notes 238
Introduction _

S
ometimes, when she awakens before her husband, she will roll
over and gaze curiously at the strange creature
with gaping mouth who softly snores on the pillow next
to hers.
Puzzling, nettlesome questions tumble through her mind:
Who is this man I married? What makes him tick? Why isn’t he
more responsive to my needs? Did he change, or did I just not
understand him in the first place?
Unknown to her, some days, when he awakens first, he will
stare adoringly at his bride, baffled by his impotence to share
more deeply with this woman he loves so much. Why can’t I find
the words to tell her what’s in my heart —how much I love her,
my hopes and dreams for us, the things that scare me, my good
intentions, and how sorry I am for the ways I’ve let the family
down?
But such words don’t come readily. Besides, he must get up
now and go track his bear. There are bills to pay, customers to
serve, calls to return, deals to be done, and many miles to cover
before his thoughts can return once again to such matters of the
heart.

WHAT MEN ARE LIKE
I work with men as a vocation. Far and away the numberone
problem men face today is that their marriages are not working
the way they are supposed to. That is why I wanted to write this
book.
In these pages I would like to take you aside and show you
some things you ought to know about men. My goal
9
is to tell you what a man is like from a man’s perspective —
what he’s feeling inside, what he’s thinking, and what he’s
going through. Men need a
spokesperson to convey some
Far and away
things to their wives. I would
the number-one like to attempt the role of
“translator” for men. I want to
problem men face
take you inside “the locker
today is that room.” So whether you are
married, engaged, single, or
their marriages
single again, by the time you
are not working finish reading this book I
believe you will know how
the way they are
men are “wired.”
supposed to. My greatest wish would
be that a man could read this book
and say, “Yes! He’s artic
ulating exactly what I’m feeling. Honey, would you read this
book so you’ll understand me better?”

PERSPECTIVE
Since four thoughts kept ringing in my ears and became the
controlling ideas for this book, I thought you should know up
front where I’m coming from:
1. Marriage is a good thing. Marriage blesses. Marriage is
that mysterious, spiritual fusion of two separate lives headed in
two separate directions into one flesh.
2. All relationships are difficult, especially marriage. I once
heard Florence Littauer say, “We are attracted to marry each
other’s strengths, and then go home to live with each other’s
weaknesses.” Two people rubbing against each other every day
are bound to create some friction. Love is the glue that can hold
us together and the oil that can keep us from rubbing each other
the wrong way.