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What Do I Say?: The Therapist’s Guide to Answering Client Questions PDF

380 Pages·2011·4.131 MB·English
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WWhhaatt DDoo SSaayy?? II TThhee TThheerraappiisstt’’ss GGuuiiddee ttoo AAnnsswweerriinngg CClliieenntt QQuueessttiioonnss Linda N. Edelstein and Charles A. Waehler John Wiley & Sons, Inc. This page intentionally left blank What Do Say? I This page intentionally left blank WWhhaatt DDoo SSaayy?? II TThhee TThheerraappiisstt’’ss GGuuiiddee ttoo AAnnsswweerriinngg CClliieenntt QQuueessttiioonnss Linda N. Edelstein and Charles A. Waehler John Wiley & Sons, Inc. This book is printed on acid-free paper. Copyright © 2011 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc. All rights reserved. Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey. Published simultaneously in Canada. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978) 750-8400, fax (978) 646-8600, or on the web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748-6011, fax (201) 748-6008. Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages. This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering professional services. If legal, accounting, medical, psychological or any other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought. Designations used by companies to distinguish their products are often claimed as trademarks. In all instances where John Wiley & Sons, Inc. is aware of a claim, the product names appear in initial capital or all capital letters. Readers, however, should contact the appropriate companies for more complete information regarding trademarks and registration. For general information on our other products and services please contact our Customer Care Department within the United States at (800) 762-2974, outside the United States at (317) 572-3993 or fax (317) 572-4002. Wiley also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content that appears in print may not be available in electronic books. For more information about Wiley products, visit our website at www.wiley.com. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data: Edelstein, Linda N. What do I say? : the therapist’s guide to answering client questions / Linda N. Edelstein, Charles A. Waehler. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 978-0-470-56175-1 (pbk.); 978-1-118-06146-6 (ePDF); 978-1-118-06147-3 (eMobi); 978-1-118-06148-0 (ePub) 1. Counselor and client. 2. Psychotherapist and patient. I. Waehler, Charles A. II. Title. BF636.6.E34 2011 158'.3—dc22 2010051401 Printed in the United States of America 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 To my clients, past and present, because I admire their courage, honesty, hope, and hard work. —L.N.E. To my students, with thanks for all that we have learned together, and for the places we will go. —C.A.W. This page intentionally left blank (cid:2) Contents Preface ix Acknowledgments xv PART 1 Client Questions in a Broad Context Introduction to Part 1 1 Why Do Clients’ Questions Cause Apprehension? 3 What Do the Different Theories Advise? 5 Remember, It’s Not About You 11 Guidelines for Answering Questions 13 Style and Language Considerations 17 Further Thoughts 23 PART 2 Client Questions and Responses by Topic Introduction to Part 2 25 1 The Early Sessions 27 2 Experience 43 3 Therapeutic Process 54 4 Expectations About Change 70 5 Techniques 80 6 Professional Role 94 7 Money 107 vii viii Contents 8 Confidentiality 119 9 Boundaries 131 10 Personal Questions 148 11 Sexuality 169 12 Religion and Spirituality 185 13 Prejudice 201 14 Stigma 209 15 Physical Appearance 217 16 Dreams 233 17 Therapists’ Reactions 245 18 Individual and Cultural Differences 259 19 Involving Others 273 20 Out of the Office 285 21 Keeping in Touch 304 22 Life Events 314 23 Ending Therapy 324 Concluding Thoughts 343 References 347 Index 351 About the Authors 357

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