Verbal Aikido Volume 2

33 Pages·2016·1.6 MB·English

by  Luke A. Archer

Introduction to Verbal Stretching

A free e-book extract of Verbal Aikido Vol. 2
The art of directing verbal attacks to a balanced outcome
Also in this series:
“Verbal Aikido – Green Belt” – ISBN: 978-1478198079
available in French – ISBN: 978-1482652284
“Verbal Aikido – Orange Belt” – ISBN: 978-1500188979
All books in the Verbal Aikido series exist in electronic format on Amazon.
Copyright © 2016 Luke A. Archer ([email protected])
All rights reserved

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For my Dad.

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Contents
Reviews of Verbal Aikido .............................................................................. 5
Acknowledgements ...................................................................................... 6
Introduction ................................................................................................... 7
Some notes about Verbal Aikido ............................................................... 12
Prologue ...................................................................................................... 14
IINNTTRROODDUUCCTTIIOONN TTOO VVEERRBBAALL SSTTRREETTCCHHIINNGG ......................................... 17
WORDS ARE ALIVE ................................................................................................ 17
STEPPING ONTO THE VERBAL MAT ........................................................................... 22
THE VERBAL MATRIX – A 3D LEARNING EMPORIUM ................................................... 25
ABOUT THE AUTHOR .................................................................................... 32

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Reviews of Verbal Aikido
“After training in Verbal Aikido I was empowered to approach conflictual situations
serenely. During this training I was able to learn concrete techniques to use in daily
life when confronted with verbal attacks, objections and criticisms. Today I am no
longer afraid to -dialogue- with people who attack me verbally. Before I had no idea
how resolve a conflict, but that was before!” Alessia Vonau, CEO at Diléal
“I had a chance to accompany Luke in his venture and was overwhelmed by his
optimism and go-get-it spirit. So, if you dream to work with an inspiring leader or
need an inspiring partner – don’t hesitate to call on Luke!
The theme of his venture is about turning verbal violence into peace (I told you it’s
world changing!) – anybody can use it at home, at work and elsewhere. Wanna try
it – give Luke a call!” Leon Rubinstein, Partner at TBK Consult
“Had my appointment this morning (the one I was so apprehensive about), and…
they guy apologized! We split the cost, and I was happy. We left… on friendly
terms. More than that I was calm and in control during the discussion. THANK YOU
VERBAL AIKIDO!!!” Carol Bausor, Director ILTC
“Verbal Aikido enables us to be more serene in both our professional and personal
lives. It brings well-being, balance and the capacity to be at peace with oneself and
others”. Marie-C. Bellier, Medical Trainer at Pôle Formation Santé
“I have the pleasure to meet Luke in two different situations. First when he was our
‘Management of Innovation’ teacher at IMIS, then during ‘Verbal Aikido’ training. In
both situations, Luke was very inventive and creative in the way how to implement
new ideas, how to come up with solutions. Also, he brings with himself this great
capacity to put you in confidence very quickly. Luke is someone with high human
sensitiveness that inspires a spirit of teamwork!”
Ana Paula de Almeida Aranha, Consultant in Vaccines and Pharmaceuticals
“Always making you use your brain without you knowing it. Excellent speaker, good
writer and talented conflict solver. His out-of-the box teaching skills have not only
improved my language skills, but my personality as well. Can’t get enough of his
teaching.” Romain Breschet, Junior Engineer at BPR / TETRATECH Canada
“I can only recommend Verbal Aikido training, for getting out of delicate situations
without entering into conflict, justifying yourself or taking things to heart.”
Delphine Locussol, Health Training Professional at Pôle Formation Santé

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Acknowledgements

Thanks and glory to God, the Most Merciful.

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Introduction (taken from Verbal Aikido Orange Belt)
It wasn’t long after I began training in physical aikido that I discovered
the philosophy behind it, and asked myself if it really was a martial art.
Of course, without thinking, most people would say that aikido is just
that, and I guess it’s quite understandable that it got put into the
‘martial’ category. But despite the scornful looks and disparaging
remarks that my question met, I still hesitated in accepting it as such.
My interest in words and their origin showed me that a ‘martial’ art
is de facto an art of war – remember ‘Mars’ (root of the word ‘martial’)
the Roman god of war? And sure, I knew the various aspects of aikido
help us deal with the ‘wars’ that people manifest both internally and
externally, but I just couldn’t get it to fit... I couldn’t see how this art,
whose creator proclaimed its intention as being “to unify the world in
love and harmony”, could really be considered as martial?
Indeed, anyone who has gone just a little further than the mat, knows
how much aikido’s founder, Morihei Ueshiba, insisted that “budo1 is
love” and that aikido was “not a technique to fight with or defeat the
enemy. It is a way to reconcile the world and make human beings one
family.” And that was where I got
stuck, because no matter how I
“Those who seek to compete looked at it, I couldn’t seem to
and better one another are make the founder’s philosophy
making a terrible mistake. To stick with the idea of an art of war.
smash, injure, or destroy is
“So if it’s not a martial art, what is
the worst thing a human
it then?” I hear you, I hear you.
being can do. The real Way of
Well, in this journey of
a Warrior is to prevent such
understanding that I had begun,
slaughter — it is the Art of
my first stop was in the opposite
Peace, the power of love.”
direction. Instead of qualifying this
Morihei Ueshiba
art in relation to a god of war, I
thought that surely we could find some sort of ‘god of love and
harmony’, to be more in line with O-Sensei’s vision of aikido. Still

1 The Japanese term ‘budo’ has often been translated as ‘martial way’ or ‘martial
art’, but the founder redefined this concept, separating it from any idea of war.

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holding a torch for the roman mythological references, it wasn’t long
before I stumbled upon Venus who, just like Mars, before becoming a
planet, started out her life as one of the gods. Indeed, you may find it
curiously significant how, even on an astrological level, this would be
considered as the opposite direction; on the one side of our beautiful
planet we find war (Mars), and on the other side… yep, love.
So Venus was known as the goddess of love, and anything pertaining to
Venus may well be called venusian, and I guess, if I wanted to open a
debate or provoke a storm of contesting views, I would insist that aikido
is much closer to a venusian art than a martial one… but that is not my
intention. However to avoid both confusion and controversy, when
speaking of aikido I will replace the use of the terms ‘martial arts’ and
‘martial way’ by the original term ‘budo’, which can be translated as
‘the way of brave and enlightened activity’. But do let your own sense of
‘budo’ develop alongside your understanding and practice of it.
Even if you still maintain that Aikido is a martial art, you will most likely
uphold that it is so much more than that too, and that the physical
approach simply demonstrates what is possible on so many other levels
– emotional, intellectual, verbal and so on. It demonstrates that, no
matter what we are confronted with in life, we can neutralize or
transform it by accepting, blending with and redirecting the energy,
whatever form it takes.
I discovered aikido in the 90s, and actually stopped going to classes
quite quickly because I couldn’t get the hang of (i.e. had an irrational
fear of) falling. But even so, it was already too late; I had fallen in love
with the philosophy. Years later, after overcoming my fear, I finally
returned to learn the physical aspect of the budo, but I’ve never
considered myself to be an exemplary physical practitioner at all. In fact
I go to my dojo quite sporadically, as I find the learning that I experience
there so rich that it can take me weeks, months or even years to get my
head around how it applies to my life. But that is why I go – to learn to
apply the philosophy of Aikido off the mat.

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Since my journey with aikido has begun, and especially with Verbal
Aikido, there have been far too many touching, exciting and mind-
opening experiences to note, but the most rewarding has without a
doubt been the work done with Luc Pavan. Luc is a high-school teacher
at the Collège Paul Portier – about 200 miles from where I live. When
he asked me if I could bring Verbal Aikido training to the students and
the teachers of the school, I knew immediately that I was about to
embark on the path of its true vocation in educational development. I
mentioned in the first book that for most people there’s a much higher
chance of getting attacked verbally than physically, and as much as
most adult exchanges remain civilized to a degree, you and I both know
– high-school can be a real jungle!
We worked together for the whole school year, Luc endlessly fine-tuning
the approach to the students as we focused on keeping it a fun-to-learn

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training that everyone could grasp
and use in everyday life. The results
went beyond our expectations, “The purpose of the Art of
culminating in a ‘graduation’ Peace is to fashion sincere
ceremony where the students acted human beings; a sincere
out the conflictual situations that human being is one who
they had experienced – first without has unified body and
and then with their newly acquired spirit, one who is free of
conflict transformation techniques. hesitation or doubt, and
They then showed us how they were one who understands the
able to avoid engaging in conflict, by power of words.”
spontaneously responding to random Morihei Ueshiba
attacks (“you idiot”, “you’re such a
pain in the neck”, “you’re ugly”, etc.)
drawn from our Sacattack bag2 and fired at them. Remaining centred
and using empathy to disarm, every single one of these fourteen and
fifteen year olds managed the attacks skilfully, and earned their Green
Bracelet3 and certificate.
Indeed this was a challenge and an adventure that struck close to my
heart, as I was far from being the most popular kid at my school. I
couldn’t help thinking that if I had only known even a fraction of the
concepts these teenagers had demonstrated, my ‘sick-days’ as a youth
wouldn’t have been so frequent.
I guess it’s also quite reassuring to know that no matter what age you
are, the concepts of the philosophy are readily accessible, and
practicable to you. Although we do train using techniques, Verbal Aikido
is more specifically an attitude training, mostly involving:
 your capacity to return to, and act from a centered position
(emotionally) when you get destabilized,

2 The students anonymously wrote the verbal attacks they had heard or received
on cards that we put into a bag, and used for verbal sparring.
3 A symbolic reminder to use The Three Steps and an alternative path in conflict.
More information at www.verbal-aikido.com/how-to-remember-it-every-day

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