Unveiling The Narcissist: Gain Clarity & Set Yourself Free

133 Pages·01.026 MB·English

by  Joanna Kujath

UNVEILING THE NARCISSIST
GAIN CLARITY & SET YOURSELF FREE

JOANNA KUJATH, ND
www.JourneyThruWellness.com
Copyright © 2018 by Joanna Kujath
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any
manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of
brief quotations in a book review.
PDF version independently sold and distributed.
Edited & Formatted by Jennifer-Crystal Johnson
www.JenniferCrystalJohnson.com
www.InnerWorkCoaching.life
Table of Contents

DISCLAIMERS:
DEDICATION
PRAISE FOR JOANNA’S WORK
FOREWORD BY BEVERLY VANOVER, MS, LPC, NCC, DCC
FOREWORD BY LOUIE VELESKI
FOREWORD BY JENNIFER-CRYSTAL JOHNSON
INTRODUCTION
NARCISSISTIC TRAITS AND PATHOLOGICAL NARCISSISM
COMMUNICATION STYLES IN RELATIONSHIPS
COVERT VERSUS OVERT NARCISSISTS
THE NATURE OF DYSFUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIPS
NARCISSISTS AND SECRECY
IDENTIFYING CONTROLLING BEHAVIOUR IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS
THE CEREBRAL, INTELLECTUAL NARCISSIST
SPIRITUAL NARCISSISTS AND 'SPIRITUALISING' ABUSE
CEREBRAL NARCISSISTS AND INTIMACY
THE SOMATIC NARCISSIST
SO, WHAT IS NARCISSISM?
ARE NARCISSISTS JUST SELFISH?
WHAT IS NPD?
WILL WE EVER DEFINE THE ENTIRETY OF NARCISSISM?
IDENTIFYING AN ABUSER BY THE EFFECTS ON THEIR VICTIMS
TRANSFORMING THE DEVASTATION AND BETRAYAL
THE 15 D’S OF A NARCISSIST’S WEB OF DECEPTION
COULD YOU BE A NARCISSIST?
IS NARCISSISM EVERYWHERE?
RED FLAGS OF SOMEONE ON THE NPD SPECTRUM
RED FLAGS YOU ARE DATING A NARCISSIST
THE IDEALISATION DEVALUATION CYCLE
IDENTIFYING MATERNAL AND PATERNAL NARCISSISM
IDENTIFYING CHILDHOOD NARCISSISTIC ABUSE
WAS I REALLY A VICTIM OF NARCISSISTIC ABUSE?
NARCISSISTIC PROGRAMMING
MIND CONTROL AND BRAINWASHING
DISCERNINGLY OPEN
THE NARCISSIST’S ALLOCATED ROLES
EFFECTS OF NARCISSIST PARENTING
MAYBE IT’S NOT THEIR FAULT?
NARCISSIST OR PSYCHOPATH?
BPD AND THE 'BORDERLINE NARCISSIST'
MEETING THE CRITERIA FOR A PERSONALITY DISORDER
DO NARCISSISTS INTENTIONALLY HURT OTHERS?
HOW WE BECOME LOVE ADDICTS
EMPATHY DEFICIENCY
GETTING HELP
WHY ITS ALWAYS YOUR FAULT
REACHING MY OWN CONCLUSIONS
COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT THE NARCISSIST
DISCERNMENT: OUR MOST CHALLENGING LESSON
UNPLEASANT ENDINGS WITH A NARCISSIST
CAN WE REACH A HIGHER UNDERSTANDING OF NARCISSISM?
SELF HEALING
IS PATHOLOGICAL NARCISSISM A HUMAN RIGHTS ISSUE?
CREATING NEW NEUROPATHWAYS AND HABITS OF THINKING
HOW TO “GET OVER IT”
DID THE NARCISSIST REALLY LOVE US?
TAKE YOUR HEALTH INTO YOUR OWN HANDS
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
THANK YOU!
DISCLAIMERS:

Although the author and publisher have made every effort to ensure that the information in this
book was correct at press time, the author and publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any
liability to any party for any loss, damage, or disruption caused by errors or omissions, whether
such errors or omissions result from negligence, accident, or any other cause.
This book is not intended as a substitute for the medical advice of physicians. The reader should
regularly consult a physician in matters relating to his/her health and particularly with respect to
any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention.
DEDICATION

I dedicate this book to the millions of people who have unknowingly been enmeshed in a
narcissist’s web. To those who—like me—spent most of their lives in a chronic state of
confusion and debilitating low self-worth. To the voiceless who were manipulated to believe
there’s something “wrong” with them. Those who have been on an endless goose chase looking
for solutions, all the while not realising that the cause of their misery was hidden in plain sight.
I dedicate this book (and the books to come!) to the men and women who are still trying to make
sense of the devastation that one relationship—or one person—inflicted on their entire life. It’s
my inspiration to help you find words for your experience, because healing begins once we’re
able to identify what we’re dealing with. I know what it’s like to endlessly look for answers, to
feel crazy, and to feel like you’re completely alone.
I also dedicate this book to my mum. She was a generous, kind, and highly empathetic woman
who was never allowed to have a voice. She died young, and in indescribable physical and
emotional pain that shattered my heart into a million pieces. She died voiceless and suppressed.
As her only daughter, I only ever saw glimpses of her radiant, beautiful, authentic self. Her last
words to me were, “I allowed too much.” Through her I learned the value of being discerning
with my empathy and not to allow my compassion to blind me. Her absolute loyalty to
something so dysfunctional contributed to her demise. Her kind-heartedness was a target for
endless abuse.
I, however, always had a strong voice. Even though I lacked the confidence to express myself, I
knew one day my time would come. For most of my life I wasn’t aware that I had dedicated
myself to saving my mother from something I didn’t know I needed saving from myself. Even
though I may have failed her, I now realise that the insights, clarity, and courage I’ve gained can
help others.
It’s therapeutic for me to be able to help others awaken from the engulfing darkness that is
narcissistic abuse. I’ve seen all the guises that the narcissist comes camouflaged in. It’s my
contribution to help humanity recognise all the covert forms of deception this entity deludes us
with.
What I witnessed my mother endure accelerated my awakening. My videos and my writing are
me turning my wounds into wisdom.
If you’re reading this then please know the depth of my compassion and love for you. I want to
validate your reality and end the crazy-making. But most of all, I want to tell you that you are not
alone.
No matter how painful your current reality is, you can and you will transcend this.
I dedicate this to you, dear reader.
PRAISE FOR JOANNA’S WORK

“Thank you, Joanna, for the immensely valuable work you are doing, validating what I went
through. Your words are like a soothing balm on my emotional wounds. Thank you so much!”

“You’ve summarized my entire life in 10 minutes! The pain of being invisible was unbearable,
but I feel like you see me and understand my torturous journey. Thank you for all that you do,
and for bringing awareness and hope of healing to so many people.”

“You are amazing. Every time I watch your videos I feel like you understand me and I’m not
alone!”

“Although I have heard these terms before, and in therapy, I couldn’t quite grasp some of the
concepts properly and how they affected me. You’ve explained them so clearly and in a way I
can digest. I think it’s great that you can be so compassionate and I can tell you’ve walked this
path. Thank you, you’ve helped me more than you know.”

“It’s because of people like you, Joanna, that I’m finally able to realize what happened to me.
Thank you for your encouragement and all the wisdom you share… victims of narcissistic
Unveiling the Narcissist abuse so desperately need to hear this! I’m 71 years old and you have
been one of the biggest blessings in my life. I’m slowly regaining my freedom and always look
forward to all your posts.”

“I can identify with each and every word you speak. It feels like such relief to finally know I’m
not alone!”

“Thank you for offering all these tools for our growth and healing. I’ve felt crazy for so long, but
just watching one of your videos I feel that I’m ok, and my relationship is not normal like my
narcissist would have me believe! I can’t thank you enough. Your explanations helps restore my
sanity and give me hope.”

“Dear Joanna, I wish I had someone like you in my life earlier. I love how clearly you explain
this subject. You have helped me start my journey to freedom from narcissistic abuse.”

“Thank you, Joanna; you have explained it like nobody ever has! I’ve read many books and
watched many great videos, but none of them like yours. I feel you truly get me and your depth
of analysis just blows me away. Your explanations make it crystal clear!”
“I’ve felt like there was something wrong with me my whole life. I’ve felt isolated and that
nobody could understand my pain. I haven’t been able to find a therapist who really knows about
narcissistic abuse and how much this one relationship damaged me. That changed when I saw
one of your videos, Joanna. Wow, it’s like you’ve known me my whole life. I never knew others
like me existed. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for making me feel that what happened
to me was real, it did hurt, and that I can heal and move on.”

“Your videos are the best I’ve seen on this subject.”

“A narcissist is so confusing, all their games and manipulation are exhausting. The way they act
is just total crazy-making! But the way you help me understand and make sense of this helps me
feel like I can be one step ahead. I love your videos and look forward to your book, you are
awesome!”